In the rural areas of Guanzhong, Shaanxi Province, it is often seen that some farmers have plaques hanging on their doors, such as "farming and reading", "frugal housekeeping" and "harmony is precious". No matter in the countryside or in every family in the city, there are more or less unwritten rules such as "being honest and trustworthy", "being sincere with others" and "being self-reliant". These words engraved on the plaque or the rules existing in the family are the family style, which reflects the owner's thoughts and expectations for future generations.

Wang Guoqi, vice president of Shaanxi Family Education Research Association, said in an interview with Shaanxi Daily that "family style" as its name implies refers to the traditional fashion or style of a family or family. Family style is essentially an intangible and potential culture. It is a family's values and behavior habits, which can influence children's minds and shape their personality through daily life. This is a kind of silent education.

"A good family style is not only a family heirloom, but also a family heirloom of the whole society." Zhong Yihua, vice president of the primary school affiliated to Xi University of Architecture and Technology, admitted to the media that in the current social environment, promoting good family style will help promote the improvement of the whole social atmosphere. Because every small family constitutes a big family of society. The quality of "family style" is closely related to the quality of "social atmosphere" and "national style". If the construction of "family style" is neglected, it will inevitably separate the next generation from the traditional excellent culture, which is not conducive to the progress and development of the whole social civilization.

Utilitarianism makes excellent "family style" missing.

"My family seems to have no special family style. I am busy making money to support my family all day, and I have no mind to ponder these things. " On February 2 1 day, at the entrance of Xi' an Andong Street Primary School, Ms. Li, who came to pick up her children from school, said anxiously. There are not a few parents like Ms. Li who are busy with their livelihood and have no time to think about "family style" and have difficulty taking care of family education.

Wang Guoqi, who has been paying attention to family education all the year round and engaged in related research projects, said with emotion: "In children's family education, many parents have been kidnapped by various utilitarian hearts, ignoring the importance of family style construction to their children."

"Good family style does not exist in isolation. Its formation is influenced by both traditional culture and social atmosphere. A good family style should be passed down from generation to generation. Unfortunately, the essence of many family education rooted in thousands of years of traditional culture has been destroyed along with the "four old" in "culture *". In today's social and economic development, people's economic pressure is increasing, and they are all chasing material interests such as buying a house, buying a car and having children. At the same time, their values have also changed, and family moral education has been repeatedly ignored. " Wang Guoqi said.

Yu Xiaohui, a researcher and doctor of law at the Institute of Sociology of Shaanxi Academy of Social Sciences, also believes that some parents only pay attention to exam-oriented education now. In order not to let the children lose at the starting line, and to let them enter the so-called cram schools, they spend a lot of money to enroll their children in various cram schools, but ignore the moral education for their children. They didn't teach their children how to behave and how to do things. This is actually a misunderstanding.

Vice President Zhong Yihua, who has worked in the front line of education for a long time, said: "Every child has an obvious brand of family education. Due to the implementation of the one-child policy, every family is now a child, and several people often revolve around a child. Therefore, several common phenomena reflected in children are thought-provoking:

First, parents recognize their children too much, which makes them very self-centered at school. The advantages of children are infinitely magnified by their parents, and their shortcomings are consciously ignored by their parents and unwilling to face them. This is most prominent in the first and second grade students of primary school.

Secondly, many parents, on the one hand, enroll their children in interest classes, hoping that their children can learn many skills and be good at playing chess, calligraphy and painting. On the other hand, I am afraid or unwilling to let my children do any housework. Many children are too old to even wash the dishes or wash them. Working ability is one of the most important and needed skills in a person's life.

Third, parents lack patience and wisdom in getting along with their children, and the way to solve problems is wrong. Parents should patiently and rationally solve any problems their children encounter during their growth in a way acceptable to them. However, some parents face their children's problems, beat and scold them irrationally, only care about their own anger, and have no idea how to solve their children's problems. Speaking of this, it is also a question of parents' own "family style" construction.

How to cultivate "family style"

How to start with family education and let a good "family style" be passed down from generation to generation? Several experts gave consistent suggestions:

First of all, parents should seek spiritual strength from traditional culture, attach importance to their own learning and the cultivation of cultural quality, and example is more important than words. "What saplings are planted will bear fruit, and what seeds are sown will blossom." "The children of the poor are the masters early." This is the lyrics in The Red Lantern, which contains the relationship between people's growth and family environment, family style and family rules. The excellent qualities of all successful people, such as self-reliance and hard work, such as kindness, helping others and self-denial, can often be found in their family education.

Secondly, parents should change their ideas and turn gifted education into adult education. At present, a new misunderstanding is to ignore moral education and moral quality education. The basic purpose of a person's education is to turn this person into a real person. Therefore, we should not only educate him in knowledge, but also give him a good education in personality and morality. Our present education has gone into a misunderstanding. For example, if a child is admitted to a university, he should first consider which department is eager to learn, which department is good at finding a job after graduation, and which major is not tired of making money. Schools pay attention to this, parents also pay attention to this, and children themselves pay attention to this. This is a big misunderstanding. If children want to be successful, they must be adults first. Without good moral quality, no matter how high the professional skills are, they can't play a real role.

In addition, we should pay attention to the cooperation and communication between family education and school education, and adopt a two-pronged approach with the same goal, so that the construction of "family style" can be implemented. For example, in the primary school affiliated to Xi University of Architecture and Technology, moral quality education is often integrated into the activities by carrying out some campus cultural activities, which has a subtle influence on children: a small reporter investigation activity is carried out on the Double Ninth Festival-"listening to grandparents telling past stories". By listening to stories told by elders, understanding the past history, understanding the past hard life of elders and the courage to overcome difficulties, children can cherish their present life more and enhance their determination to cope with difficulties. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, the school launched a warm family photography activity of "Moonlight to Mid-Autumn Festival", allowing children to take pictures of family reunion and happiness in the Mid-Autumn Festival with their own cameras; On March 8th Women's Day, the school also launched "Dedicating Love to Her Hard Work", so that children can capture the hard moments of their female elders with their own eyes and let them learn to be grateful.