Sexual life is not a pet of love, it runs through the whole human society. As long as someone has sex, as long as people are alive, they will have sex, regardless of gender. If sex life is compared to love, sex life is like the sea, and love is just a few waves on it. Sexual life does not necessarily need the cooperation of love. Sex life and love are just two circles, which can cross, overlap and be irrelevant. But it can't be the same as logically saying that the two concepts are the same extension and can never overlap into a circle. It's just an ideal realm that human beings who are eager for love will never reach. Perhaps love and sex life can be combined after entering a "Datong society" without class, country and marriage.
Generally speaking, there are exceptions. We can only guess that at the beginning of human society, there may have been a combination of love and sexual life, but this is at best only a short moment in the process of human mating. Since then, of course, love and sex have never been combined. Zhang Ailing sighed for this and wrote "Red Rose and White Rose", hating that men don't mix love and sex, regardless of you and me. She shouldn't protect a woman. This kind of thing cannot be done by one person alone. She also needs a woman's cooperation all the time to talk about coordination. Although, on the whole, love and sex life are never integrated, there are some exceptions, for example, some people may have experienced it all their lives and some people have experienced it at some point in their lives.
Men pay more attention to sex life, while women pay more attention to love (some people say that women are divided into two factions: one believes that love and sex cannot be separated, and the other believes that they can be separated). For example, men are more visual. They have sexual desire before they meet women, and they have sexual impulse when they meet women. The song "Women are Tigers" sings the monk's mentality of meeting women, and talks about the man's perspective. Women, on the other hand, need emotional communication until they have sex. "Zeng Xian Wen" put it well: "If you don't scold your wife, you will be lonely all night." When a woman is angry, she will not have sex with a man (a man may have forgotten to scold a woman after seeing her body), so a man has to turn his back on his wife. From another angle, this vividly illustrates the outlook on life that men value sex and women value emotion. In terms of subjective desire, women may yearn for the consistency of love and sex life more than men. But in real life, influenced by various material and spiritual factors, it is a dream for both men and women to combine love and sexual life.
In fact, human love is not as romantic as imagined, it just comes from human imperfection. Love in a broad sense now contains too many things, some because of the attraction of money and power, some because of the attraction of beauty and sex appeal. Some rely on loneliness and emptiness. Have a plenty of pity because of sympathy, have a plenty of because of the combination of * * * and ideal ... sex is just one of the fuses. But love in a narrow sense is only caused by sex, and there is no essential difference between it and animals.
As "Fortress Besieged" said: "Where there is love, it is simply a reproductive impulse." But in this case, people feel a little low-level, so many seemingly beautiful fairy tales are added to illustrate that love has a higher spiritual essence, but these are just self-deception.
Like love, sex life and marriage are two intersecting circles, with overlapping parts and unrelated parts. Sex life is not a patent of marriage, and marriage is not the only reason for sex life. The idea and desire to combine sex life with marriage can only exist in a backward and authoritarian society. It is what we often call "feudal thought". The current marriage system is also so naive, and it is also advocating people to do so.
The extended relationship between love and marriage may be similar to the extended relationship between love and sexual life, marriage and sexual life, and it also belongs to the cross relationship between the two circles, that is, love can exist in marriage or outside marriage; No matter whether there is love inside or outside marriage, as long as it is dedicated to one person, social morality wants to go down in history and flaunt the future; If it's not on a person, it's in your heart, and you have to bear certain consequences if you show it. Conversely, there may or may not be love in marriage. A loving marriage is humane and moral. Marriage without love is just a tool to bind people. Don't bury people, bury people.
In short, in the relationship between marriage, love and sexual life, we might as well regard them as three intersecting circles with three states: one is the trinity of marriage, love and sexual life, which is the highest state in the current marriage system. Of course, it's vast and sparsely populated here, which may be relatively deserted. Second, marriage and love, marriage and sex life, love and sex life are two in one, and marriage and love may be less at the same time; Most of them have marriage and sex at the same time; Love and sex life are generally manifested in premarital and extramarital affairs, and sometimes they are bound by social morality. But with the real liberation of human society, men and women are gradually equal, the number will increase, the time will be longer and the quality will be better and better. The third is the phenomenon that marriage, love and sexual life are irrelevant. There is no love in marriage, no sex life. Marrying an impotent person, a dead person or a wood is the most inhuman marriage. Only love, no marriage and sex life, but also many, mostly touching and tearful stories (I don't know if it is the same as Plato's "spiritual love law"). For example, under the screen of "Sisi" by Jia Baoyu, Sister Lin and Qingwen, I missed it. In Huangtuling, Dark Victory, Liang Zhu's classmates can only look at two figures in the well on his eighteenth birthday for three years. Lu You got rid of his cousin Tang Wan, and they knew each other and fell in love under the threat of their mother. They could only fill in the word "Hairpin Phoenix" to tell their love. As a result, one lovesickness died young, and the other lingered for a long time.
Perhaps, human beings are now on the highway leading to the integration of love and sexual life. In the future, when we enter a society without marriage constraints, women will release the burden of childbearing because of scientific fertility methods or through another channel outside the uterus, whether it is lifelong dependence or fate leading to reunion or parting. It is conceivable that everyone may live a happy life of love and sexual reunion.