Her speech was sincere and powerful, and I was greatly encouraged and benefited from it. Although I am too inexperienced to understand her rebellious happiness and satisfaction, some of her experiences have resonated with me.

1

The trajectory of my life is almost completely in line with the expectations of society for a "standard" woman: I received strict family education from an early age and studied hard. After graduating from Chinese opera, I made several dramas, met love during my career rise, and then naturally returned to my family, took care of my husband, educated my daughter, and degenerated into a wife with a vague face.

This reminds me of the other day when I saw Guo Tao talking about the criteria for choosing a partner in The Power of a Father.

"The virtue of women and mothers in the traditional sense ..."

"Gentleness, humility, frugality ..."

In ancient feudal society, women in the family were called "good wives and good mothers", which means good wives and good mothers.

Most ancient literary works and traditional cultures depict women as good wives and mothers. Take care of your husband, educate your children, honor the elderly, and be gentle when managing housework. Traditionally, women should "stay at home" and take care of their families. These are the words that people think of when they mention "traditional women".

My mother is also a traditional woman, and her world is: children first, husbands second. Mr. G once told me: "People, in this life, actually live for others." My mother has lived for us for most of her life, with no regrets.

Her marriage with her father was full of ups and downs. Along the way, they cried and laughed. They can't live without each other and have ordinary people's little happiness.

Father is a grumpy man. Every time he loses his temper, she always keeps silent. Sometimes I don't even understand that my mother can stand my father for so long, but later, I found out that my father is actually a very traditional man. He is very responsible and has been taking his mother to work for ten years. At the same time, she is also very careful and considerate of her mother's warmth and coldness.

They understand each other, tolerate each other and get along in a proper way. This is the best way for them to manage their marriage.

I am deeply influenced by their lifestyle. I am also very traditional and my family education is very strict. I was a good girl since I was a child, studied hard, found a job I liked after graduating from college, and then met love, stepped into the marriage hall and taught my children. This may be the life track that most of us girls imagine or are experiencing.

But in fact, sometimes we will find that such girls have actually lost themselves, they can't express their needs, and even become "please-type personalities".

What kind of people are "good girls"?

Baidu Encyclopedia is defined like this. In Ode to Joy, Bridgette plays Guan Guan, a 22-year-old girl. She is a good girl and works as an intern in a Fortune 500 company. In order to stay in the company and not graduate from a prestigious school, she quietly made more efforts than others.

A good girl is characterized by following the rules, trying to do everything, working hard, trying to make others like her, being gentle and frugal, waiting for praise and promotion, not daring to face up to problems, caring about other people's opinions and never taking risks.

In the play, she always wears a sweater with her hair covered and a pair of big bookish eyes. She always speaks softly, even a little too quiet. She always looks soft, soft, not as vigorous as Qu Xiaoyu and not as enterprising as Andy.

When she met Dr. Zhao, who moved her, she was afraid to show that she was a good girl since she was a child, and she could only like it silently. In the end, she can only let the arrogant Xiao Qu embrace this "handsome man".

She has lost the courage to express herself bravely because of cowardice, and she can only bury this love in her heart for fear of rejection.

She may never have experienced the pleasure of boldly pursuing what she likes. She cares too much about other people's eyes and doesn't know that if she jumps out of this condom, she will actually live a more exciting life.

Only when you really live for yourself can you find that rebellion needs strength. You never have to think twice about your words and deeds, but you need the double blessing of judgment and courage to go your own way.

This brand-new way of life opening has even changed the way I get along with my parents: there were few rhetorical questions when I got along with them before.

Even in our conversation, there are few question marks and exclamation points, because I am a very good and obedient child, and the first 30 years of my life are full of periods and ellipsis.

Now rhetorical questions, question marks and exclamation marks naturally become the outlet of all my emotions.

My parents also told me: Son, you look more confident and your life is more colorful.

After seven years of marriage, Liu Mintao finally found her lost self and lived a more wonderful life!

2

Being kind to yourself and life requires a little idealism and proper self-centeredness. The combination of the two will form an elegant and rich atmosphere.

What I want to say is that, unfortunately, this aura is exactly what the domestic film and television industry lacks in portraying the role of middle-aged women.

40 years old is the most attractive and beautiful time for a woman.

When a woman has experienced the youth and innocence of a girl and the tempering and infiltration of life, then everything will be there.

This "existence" gathers light and power. Standing on the stage, she is undoubtedly a luminous body, because her heart is rich enough and strong enough.

Liu Mintao, a 44-year-old middle-aged rebel, said.

The melody of life is no longer an eternal pastoral, and the rebellion of middle age is surging like an invisible hand, pushing me to dig more sides of myself.

She cut her long-cherished short hair and went to the activity in a suspender skirt. He tried something he didn't dare to try before. As she said, now that she has tasted the sweetness of "rebellion", she feels more and more open and free.

When she went to Shanghai for filming, the first thing she did when she entered the hotel room was to change the hotel bedding into sheets and quilts that she carried with her, spread her favorite flower cloth on the sofa, put a small vase on the bedside table, insert a flower, put a photo frame of her daughter and family on the table, light an aromatherapy candle, and release soft music from the small speaker that she carried with her. The hotel room suddenly felt at home.

In her spare time, she visited the concession on the Bund in Shanghai, drank coffee and got her nails done in the street, and went to a small theater to make her day full and beautiful.

The first half of her life can be summed up by the word "perfect". She studied hard, learned dance according to her parents' expectations, and even took the Chinese opera exam, because her aunt made the decision for her. She has never had acting experience and stands out from many candidates. The teacher's expectation for her is "Little Gong Li".

After graduation, almost all the plays that Liu Mintao received were heroines.

She met love when her career was booming. In her career and family, she chose the latter without hesitation and assumed the responsibilities of "wife" and "mother".

Unexpectedly, this relationship failed to overcome the "seven-year itch" after all.

Her husband is away all the year round, and the lack of spiritual communication and emotional communication makes her gradually doubt this marriage and its practical significance.

One night in the summer of 20 13, I was lying alone in that bed again, thinking about my long-lost husband.

In a trance, there seems to be another self. She is looking down at the lady who stayed up all night staring at the ceiling. She let me see my loneliness for the first time. It's not worth it.

At dawn, I have made up my mind to end this marriage.

Since the routine and drifting life did not bring me the expected happiness, it made me live a humble and pale life in the beautiful years when I should have spread my wings and soared.

Then it is better to be yourself, rely on yourself, fly yourself, achieve yourself, take risks at will, and try where your limits are.

After the divorce, she found herself like a phoenix nirvana, freed from the role of wife, daughter and mother, and truly achieved all kinds of freedom.

"Be yourself, rely on yourself, fly yourself and achieve yourself" sounds easy, but as an actress, she also faces professional difficulties. After the divorce, she didn't have a brokerage company and didn't act for many years. She took the initiative to recommend resumes to the film and television companies one by one, asking for the opportunity to play female No.1.

20 15 Two hit dramas, The Pretender and Nirvana in Fire, made many viewers remember their elder sisters, Spiegel and Fei Jing, as well as the actor Liu Mintao who acted as a lever.

Liu Mintao freely switches between the domineering of the royal elder sister and the virtuous forbearance of the static princess, and her performance with great tension is highly praised.

Liu Mintao did it.

Liu Mintao, who experienced a midlife crisis, said, "Now I seem to have found myself as a student again. It's very pure and simple." . This crisis "made me face my heart more directly and re-examine myself".

three

In her speech, she told such a thing:

I went to Japan with my friends this year and went to Kiyomizu Temple specially.

Why? Because a few years ago, when my ex-husband and I were traveling, it was raining in front of Kiyomizu Temple. I clearly remember an ice cream shop on the slippery stone road. I wanted to eat a matcha ice cream at that time, but I didn't realize this wish, because I had no money, so I had to give up.

However, today, now, I have become my own backer, living a real and chic life, and I don't need to bind my wishes for others' glances. Finally, I ate the matcha ice cream that I kept in my heart.

Deliberate is the taste of freedom.

Being penniless made her lose the courage to face expensive ice cream.

After seven years as a housewife, Liu Mintao lost herself and her career. It sounds like a trivial matter, but it tells how many women are embarrassed and sad in marriage.

In fact, it is not because of an ice cream, but because of her sense of control over life and her desire for freedom. After the divorce, she lived her true self.

When your palms are up, there are many things you can't do!

Because there is no source of income, you need to reach out to your husband for money in everything. I thought I would sacrifice my career for a happy family, but I didn't expect my career and family to be lost.

Papi sauce once said, "To be a woman, you should put yourself first."

I have such an example around me. She graduated from college at the age of 23 and met him in an outreach activity. They fell in love at first sight and got married immediately. After marriage, she became a full-time wife, and soon the birth of her daughter made it even more impossible for her to go out to work.

She has no ability to make money, everything depends on her husband, and she has no position in her husband's family. She has no money and is out of touch with the society, which makes her shrink back more and more and further away from her husband.

In the end, this humble and wronged day ended with her husband's sentence, "I raised you these years, and I did my best for you." The custody of my daughter was owned by the man because there was no financial security.

Sad stories seem to be the same.

Without economic and personality independence, how can you live a wonderful and free life?

Middle-aged rebellion has lost its destructive power. It may not be as hot as the sun at eight or nine o'clock, but it is like a heater in winter. It is cultivated gently, not hot, just right.

In the final analysis, this kind of rebellion is a sense of control over one's life.

Someone asked: Liu Mintao, is your middle-aged rebellion a little late?

She said, no, no, everything is the best arrangement.

What kind of woman is the most elegant and attractive? Spiritual independence, economic independence.

Spiritual independence, thinking, independent, will not lose themselves because of love and marriage.

Being financially independent, you can support yourself, so that you don't have to reach out and ask others for it, so that women can live with dignity!

In the face of emotional setbacks, Liu Mintao realized self-salvation and became more and more aware of what he needed.

This middle-aged rebellion didn't come too late, and everything was just right.