The old saying of China stands at thirty. Speaking of it, at the age of 30, you should be in a stable rising period of your life trajectory. This is also the case. Many colleagues are already team leaders, executives, even founders or CEOs, and have shares or options in the company; Family stability, it is estimated that most of them are planning to have a second child, or consider changing the school district.
It's embarrassing to say, that year, Fang and I had a total of hundreds of thousands of deposits and started again in a strange first-tier city. Really poor. I still remember the month when I first came to Shanghai. I celebrated my 30th birthday in the shabby house I shared with his colleagues in the 1980s. Birthdays are simple. Candlelight flickers in the dark, just like an unknown and turbulent future.
Time flies, and it is 20 17 in a blink of an eye. Looking back on the past year or two, we have not only stepped into the right track of life and work, but also owned a house of our own (both of us are ordinary workers' families, and half of the down payment depends on loans from parents and relatives, and we make up the rest).
I saw the discussion in the circle of friends some time ago. Many young people, including highly educated groups, have some discussions about going or staying in Beishangguang. Like tens of millions of migrant workers, we have struggled with choices and felt insecure, but now we are deeply aware of the possibilities in the future. The road ahead is still foggy, but there is a feeling that the sun shines in. This road is getting firmer and firmer. Share some thoughts:
1) About the choice: the road that few people take.
Fang has many choices when he graduates. For example, most people choose research institutes and universities, which belong to institutions or state-owned enterprises within the system. Others choose to go abroad for further study; Not many people choose private enterprises. It is also good for Fang to choose my second-tier city in Central China, and my civil servants don't have to resign, so life will be easier.
However, Fang finally chose a private enterprise famous for "overtime", which has a huge business scale and its department is in Shanghai. This puzzled my family and friends at that time, including me. The inner subtext is, if I had known this, why should an enterprise that can enter undergraduate study read more books for so many years?
However, in retrospect, I understand Fang's simplest original intention. I have been immersed in my major for so many years, not just to pursue my own food and clothing.
When Fang went to school, he had listened to a lecture given by an academician (a famous physicist, the son of an academician, the old president of the University of Science and Technology of China, the honorary president of Ningbo University, an academician of China Academy of Sciences, and a famous electrician expert), and he always remembered one sentence. Academician Yan Luguang said: "My father's generation is the first generation of scientists in China, and ours is the second generation, catching up and surpassing. China's science and technology basically follows the world. In the last ten or twenty years and in the future, you are all third-generation scientists. You should be an innovative generation. You must change the status quo and let the world follow China. "
May be such a simple sentence, planted a scientist's dream in Fang's heart. He wants to stand on the shoulders of giants and see the world. He hopes to stay at the forefront of domestic and even world scientific research level forever. He hopes to work hard in the surging wave of technology. He expects himself to make some efforts for the development of new energy in the future and make the world a better place with diligence and concentration.
Such a dream, if not in the first-tier cities, if not in the most powerful scientific research platform, the most relaxed scientific research environment and the fastest development potential institutions, is absolutely impossible to achieve.
So after comparison, he chose the most suitable working environment for himself. At the same time, the salary provided by enterprises can also enable us to maintain a certain standard of living in big cities. So back to the real problem, in this era, I think people with high knowledge may change their inherent concept of career choice when choosing a job. With the continuous maturity of domestic entrepreneurial environment, many potential private enterprises have no worse development opportunities than scientific research institutions, and the return of income may make your life in big cities easier.
Indeed, private enterprises are not as stable as scientific research institutes, and even enterprises have a "34-year crisis" theory. And myself. Many people ask, do you regret leaving the life of a civil servant with little pressure from nine to five? The answer is yes, no regrets. Indeed, in terms of mental stress, the fierce competitive environment forces me to make progress every day, and work anxiety keeps me awake. However, we are more engaged than before, understand the essence of life better, and have more courage to overcome difficulties.
Lu Yao, a favorite writer, once said: As long as you don't lose your sense of mission or keep a clear head, you can't park the ship of life in a warm harbor for a long time. At the age of 30, we were not caught by fear, but left everything in the past behind, fled the comfort zone that we could have chosen, and chose a seemingly more difficult road. Facts have proved that in this experience, we didn't fail to keep up with the rhythm and were not knocked down by difficulties, but seized the opportunity and realized our dreams of work and life at a faster speed. This in turn helps us grow more dreams and courage to explore the possibilities of the future.
2) About the house: It is not the house that really brings security.
I used to watch a blind date show "If You Are the One", and guests often mentioned a word, safety. Presumably, this is also the collective anxiety of many young people working hard in Beishangguang, including me. Travel around the country before the age of 30, stay in the top 500 in the world, and then go back to my hometown to be a civil servant. Anyway, when I was young, I was confused, hesitated and tangled, and I couldn't handle it well. I feel very insecure.
Later, we met and fell in love with Fang, and we had a great feeling of seeing each other for a long time, although the starting point was different and thousands of miles apart. My parents and friends didn't like us and advised us to leave. But somehow, we squeezed through the crowd and twisted together.
Then, despite the opposition of my family, I resigned as a civil servant and followed Fang to Shanghai. Speaking of it, it is obviously an insecure person, but he abruptly threw away the external things that seemed to bring a sense of security, chose a seemingly unreliable relationship, lost the most reliable job, and started again at the age of the boss.
Even though I didn't have a house at that time and lived in an old house in the 1980s with my classmates, I gradually felt a sense of security because of love. In a stable and harmonious relationship, love can breed beautiful power. In the face of all kinds of pressures in the adaptation period, I can find strength in my lover's arms and have the patience to resolve all kinds of setbacks, depression and depression. Although the road ahead is unknown and accompanied by love, it seems that you have the courage to travel around the world without fear.
The second source of security may be persistent efforts. I am not idle when I am a civil servant in my hometown. After coming home from work, I continued to write, contributed to literary magazines and travel magazines, and published 10 novels. Open a Taobao shop and sell small ornaments, although I didn't make any money; Make an official WeChat account with friends to maintain sensitivity to new media; I also signed up for driving school and tennis courses, and spent money online to continue studying writing, English and makeup. Even if I don't have any achievements, I won't let myself be idle. I have been practicing and studying diligently.
I didn't expect that one day I would start looking for a job again and submit my resume, and all these past hard work helped me at a critical moment. The Biography of Jobs wrote: When you look back on your life, you will find that the beads in front of you can be strung together, and every experience will be of great help to you. Yes, even though I was repeatedly questioned because of my small city, civil servants and old age, my efforts and experience helped me convince my bosses, and even the salary given by my boss was nearly twice as high as I expected.
Finding a satisfactory job is only the first step. I have completely crossed the line and returned to the workplace. I learn and adapt quickly. Over the past year, I have the highest performance in the team and excellent evaluation, and I am an excellent employee of TOP 10% of the company. Now I know better. I thought the insurmountable mountain was actually in one step at a time.
Therefore, compared with the big event of buying a house, I think it is more worthwhile to grasp such small things as pursuing purity, cherishing lovers and persisting in efforts. Only these will really help you get on the right track of life, then the goal of buying a house in Beishangguang may only be a matter of time, distance or area, and will not affect the essence of happiness.
After 70, sometimes it is inevitable to envy their timing! Early and at the lowest cost, gain a foothold in big cities. However, the situation is changing all the time and everyone's situation is different. Just like stock trading, no one can guarantee to buy at the lowest point and sell at the highest point. Who can know when the best time in life is? The paradigm of life is different. There will be no unified answer whether to leave Beishangguang or stick to it. We can only make the best choice at the moment, such as choosing to stick to our ideals when we are struggling and choosing to cherish when we are in love.
Yes, we are 30+, but life seems to have just begun. I feel the future is full of imagination and fighting spirit. As written in the book The Road Few People Walk: The only sense of security in life comes from fully experiencing the insecurity in life. If our departure is a narrow road that seems to be full of thorns, even a lot behind, but this road is getting wider and wider, we also have the courage and confidence to reach the most beautiful scenery.