Traditionally, women are more emotional. As the saying goes, women are "short-sighted with long hair" and "only women are difficult to raise". Even Ding Yuanying's definition of women in his book is "a model of formal logic and an obstacle to dialectical logic", which easily makes women lose their confidence in many major decisions.
However, these three women have shown wise and philosophical values in front of every major turning point in their lives, which can not help but make people gasp in admiration, all of which depend on their sober self-knowledge.
Tao Te Ching said: "Those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are clear. The winner is strong and the loser is strong. " People who know others are smart, and people who know themselves are smarter; He who overcomes others has strength, and he who overcomes himself is stronger.
Ouyang Xue's favorite sentence is that I only know that I can open a restaurant. When she was invited by Ding Yuanying as a shareholder, Ouyang Xue's first reaction was that I didn't know how to run a company, but I believed in Ding Dage. When she was angry about Ye's withdrawal, she cried and said that when the company became a kindergarten, she could still make plans to prevent losing the case and go back to the hotel, because there she could give full play to her ability and self-confidence. When Xiao offered to take over the shares, Ouyang Xue immediately sincerely invited her to hold the shares. She didn't control the power and gave the company to someone with ability. This is her self-knowledge.
Self-knowledge is the beginning of adulthood and self-victory is the foundation of success.
When Ouyang Xue appreciated what a senior white-collar worker said to Mr. Han on the wine table and said that she didn't have it at all, she smiled and said, empty-handed, what shall I take?
At that time, she had left her company in Ding Yuanying and worked in a headhunting company. When she stood up, she saw Mr. Han there, but she didn't get up as quickly as Liu Bing and Ye Xiaoming did. "I don't climb with fate." This is self-knowledge.
By virtue of her relationship with Han, she could have made friends with a more dynamic manager, but she didn't. Even before introducing Xiao Dan and Ding Yuanying, she knew that if she could get Ding Yuanying, there would be infinite possibilities, but she didn't take advantage of this opportunity to approach him. But clearly aware of the gap between himself and him, regard him as opening a window, seeing different things and hearing different voices, which makes people think and feel.
At the same time, she also knows her own ability. She also had the idea of studying German and going abroad, but Wen Ya Jr. finally stayed in China to develop. She believes that "it is better to work early, save enough money, start your own company and liberate yourself when conditions permit."
It is not surprising to work hard according to the established goals, wait for the opportunity to come, and then meet Ye's withdrawal, size up the situation and take the initiative. Even Ding Yuanying sincerely praised, aven is not simple.
Many people say that Xiao is the biggest winner of this book. She is so lucky. But what is the basis of her luck? It is a clear positioning of yourself, and opportunities are for those who are prepared.
"Failure is greater than not knowing", but knowing is not easy. Sometimes people not only don't know, but are content with deceiving themselves.
When Fan, the doctor of the State of Jin, died, a man tried to steal a clock. He tried to run away with the clock on his back, but the clock was too big to carry. So he tried to hit the clock with a mallet. As soon as it is smashed, the clock will bang. He was afraid that others would take it away when they heard the bell, so he quickly covered his ears tightly. He thinks that if he covers his ears, others will not hear him. Steal the clock! Yes, the familiar fable of "stealing ear bells" comes from this story.
"Lu Chunqiu" commented: "The wicked can smell it, too; If you are evil, you will hear it yourself! " Fear of being heard is normal; It is foolish to think that you can't hear others.
And Liu's generation, in order to climb this big tree and get to know Master, played a lot of tricks. For the first time, Feng Shiming saw Ding Yuanying deliberately creating contradictions. In order to attract Xiao Dan's attention to poor villages, he deliberately wandered around the orchard. After getting the new evidence that Ding Yuanying gave him to reverse his conviction, Liu Bing played a clever trick and finally committed suicide, but all of them were clever and were mistaken by cleverness.
self-discipline
No matter how busy he is, Ray Xiao Dan keeps a diary of 500 words in German and Chinese every day. During my visit to relatives in Germany, I worked in my mother's restaurant, doing the hardest washing dishes in order to wait for the international evaluation results of Mr. Ge's lecturer. Her parents can give her the most generous family environment and get the right to live in Germany early, but her life is still very simple; Ding Yuanying fell in love with her resume and admired it secretly, from which we can see that she is diligent and studious, and her courage exceeds that of ordinary women. These are excellent things that only self-discipline can do.
Self-discipline is difficult, because we have to fight against our own nature! Especially beautiful women.
Yi Shu said that high heels are the beginning of women's depravity.
Because from the moment a woman puts on high heels for beauty, it means that she wants to enjoy a more comfortable way of traveling. Walking is too hard. A beautiful woman needs a luxury car, beautiful clothes and bags, luxurious jewelry and exquisite makeup, all of which require high expenses. There are too many factors that can make a woman degenerate at a drunken age.
As a North drifter, Xiao didn't live the life she wanted, including a time when she received Ouyang Xue who came to Beijing to find her for coffee. Living in a rented small house, I made first-class coffee for Ouyang Xueduan, which she was reluctant to drink at ordinary times, and she had to pay the rent in a hurry to save money. She also has beautiful looks, but she chose hard work and busyness.
How pleasant it is to lie on the soft sofa and follow the drama, but some people sweat like rain in the gym; How nice it is to hold a quilt and not give up a dream, but some people have prepared a nutritious breakfast before dawn; How carefree it is to sneak on the table and brush jokes, but some people are busy all day. ...
Your skin will show your living habits, your position can reflect your efforts, and your charm corresponds to your knowledge and talent.
A seriously overweight and sick person often leads a life of irregular diet, irregular work and rest, overeating and zero exercise.
A person who muddles through his work is likely to be blank in career planning and life pursuit.
A person who talks vulgar and boring in life is likely to invest seriously in reading, traveling and thinking.
A self-disciplined life doesn't mean how detailed a plan you have prepared, how complete sports equipment you have, how many gym annual cards you have, how many new books you have bought, and how many advanced classes you have enrolled in ... No, self-discipline begins with taking every moment seriously.
I have seen an interview with Haruki Murakami. He said that for him, there are only 23 hours a day, because 1 hour gives running, and the thunder can't move.
Haruki Murakami calls himself a long-distance runner. His way of thinking is: "If you don't want to run today, I will run."
When writing novels, he usually gets up around four in the morning and never uses an alarm clock. Make coffee, have a snack, and then start work without delay.
Let yourself cultivate some good habits, let yourself jump out of your comfort zone and grow into a better self than in the past.
The philosopher Kant said: "True freedom is not arbitrary, but self-dominated. Self-discipline is freedom. "
freedom
The most puzzling thing in this book is the death of Ray Xiao Dan. The first time I saw it, I couldn't calm down about her suicide for a long time. People's cherish of life cannot be dissipated because of a so-called concept of freedom. This is probably the most controversial part of the book.
However, if we look back on Rui Xiao Dan's performance in life planning, career choice and love concept, the ending is not difficult to understand. For a woman who pursues perfection and eternity, it is the most ideal ending to freeze her most beautiful moment in her lover's heart. She doesn't want Ding Yuanying to see her damaged skin, and she doesn't want the world to appreciate, pity and take care of her for the rest of her life. What she wants is "live when you are born, die when you die, and come and go freely."
This is beyond the reach of many people who are bound by the world.
Philosophy divides freedom into two kinds: one is positive freedom and the other is negative freedom. Positive freedom refers to the freedom to do whatever you want, while negative freedom refers to the freedom to do nothing. Comparatively speaking, negative freedom will bring greater sense of freedom than positive freedom.
Indulgence and extravagance can also bring pleasure, but later it is more empty and lonely. And when you don't want to work, communicate, act or be disturbed, if you can realize it immediately, it will bring more profound rest, relaxation and freedom.
For example, today's information burden is a typical example of not being able to obtain negative freedom.
Once people's wisdom was to collect enough information, but today people's wisdom is how to avoid being disturbed and entangled by redundant information. The root of mobile phone disease is the bondage brought by information overload.
In fact, the most enviable thing is the negative freedom of "doing nothing". But paradoxically, people often fall into an "overweight" life for a long time because of anxiety, inertia, high speed and lack of hobbies.
Even sometimes, the compulsion brought by the "overweight" life will turn many hobbies that should be based on freedom into obsessive-compulsive disorder.
For example, we will see that people around us seem to have various hobbies, such as traveling, photography, food and so on. But in fact, a large part of people's superficial hobbies are not heartfelt love, but loneliness and anxiety.
In other words, it is a state of extreme non-freedom under pressure and fast pace.
Kant said that people are free when they only obey the law and don't have to obey others.
In other words, people are the most free when they accept everything frankly and thoroughly.