1.

The boy called me for advice. He said that my work feelings have been particularly unsatisfactory recently, and my heart is particularly agitated.

I asked the boys, what happened at work?

He said: "In recent months, I have changed jobs frequently. Now I have no confidence in myself. "

I then asked, "Why do you change jobs frequently?"

He said: "I used to be a soldier, and later I was assigned to work in a certain unit, which has been very stable. But then I wanted to change my working environment, so I jumped out. I have changed jobs several times in a row, only to find that the working environment outside is far from what I expected and I can't adapt. On the other hand, it has a lot to do with the handling of recent divorce. Most of the time at work, how to deal with communication with lawyers? And counseling. I can't devote myself to my work. My work is linked to performance. If you can't make achievements, you will be retired. "

Such an answer has to make me curious about his marriage. Good marriage, why go to the point of divorce? What the hell went wrong? If marriage is so fragile, why did you decide to stay with each other in the first place?

After I asked a hundred thousand why, the boy told me:

He and she met on a dating website, and they are in the same city. However, due to the different nature of their work. So the rest time of two people is not together. But as long as they rest at the same time, boys will go to play with girls. Or take a girl back to her house. At that time, boys were 28 years old and girls were 29 years old. After talking for a while, they got married in a flash. After marriage, the two always quarrel, and boys will also use some martial arts in the army on their daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law never takes him when she goes out to play with friends. He thinks his daughter-in-law doesn't love him ... Wait, they got married in June and are going to divorce in September.

2.

Reminds me instantly of the meeting with my best friend a few days ago. My best friend said, "A while ago, I saw that several post-95 girls' resumes all said divorce, and I was not married after 80."

I looked at my best friend with a surprised expression. Am I old? As a post-90s generation, I can't keep up with everyone. Are marriages and divorces so hasty now?

Yes, we are all of marriageable age. Parents, seven aunts and eight aunts talk in front of you all day, which makes you unable to withstand the pressure and want to marry anyone who seems to be satisfied with everyone.

But is this what you like? Do you get along well? Do you have common interests? Do you share the same values? Do you feel comfortable with each other? Is this the life you want? All these should be considered. Instead of facing the pressure of urging marriage, I want to find someone to get married. Cultivate feelings slowly after marriage. Get married, not to complete the task.

If a marriage does not start with happiness, but aims at creating "possible happiness in the future", it is likely to be a mistake. If marriage is not happy, why get married?

Actually falling in love is the best time to get to know each other. At this time, we should get to know each other as much as possible. Ta's personality, interpersonal skills, living habits, etc. If you get along for a while and feel that the other person is your ideal partner, wouldn't it be more perfect to get married?

3.

A friend around me said, "When we were young, we always chose clothes that others thought were beautiful. When we grow up, we will always find someone who will satisfy us. But is the satisfaction of others suitable for you? "

In fact, there are many people in this world who get married for the sake of marriage. I feel guilty when I see my parents are old and still worried about our marriage. So in order to quickly end the pressure of relatives around me to urge marriage, I chose to compromise. Before I know each other, I hurried into marriage. Fortunately, I am very happy. Unfortunately, I began to plan a divorce. This is why the divorce rate among young people is getting higher and higher. However, such irresponsible practices not only hurt themselves, but also hurt each other and make parents anxious. Please always remember that marriage is for a happier life. Your family doesn't want to see you wronged. They expect you to get married as soon as possible, just to see you live a happy life while they are still healthy and young. On the contrary, I long for you to give me an answer. So if you haven't found the right person, please don't give up.

Happiness is like drinking water, understand it.