Yang: It happened on a dark night. It's windy and dark tonight. . .

Thief: I really reached out ... I can't see the ticket. . .

Yang: I only heard a click.

Thief: What's the matter? [What's the matter? ]

Yang: A bolt from the blue.

Thief: You scared me out of here.

Section chief yang: I saw "shh!" . . "

Thief: Is it time again? [What's the matter? ]

Yang: Lightning lasts seven and a half minutes.

Thief: What boring lightning! What took you so long?

Yang: I heard "Hua" again. . . "

Thief: What's that noise?

Yang: It was raining cats and dogs.

Thief: Ah, it's a good opportunity for me to do it.

Yang: "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. "

Thief: Oh, the police are coming!

Yang: Oh, it is an ambulance.

Thief: I warned you about the ambulance driver. I hate this sound!

Yang: There were several barks from the yard, "Whoops. . . . "

Thief: This is the last [what] breed of dog ~

Yang: This is our domestic German shepherd. ..... I always feel that my left eyelid is jumping these days.

Thief: the left eye jumps for money.

Yang: Sometimes I jump on my right eyelid.

Thief: right eye jump disaster

Yang: How strange! It jumps on two eyelids!

Thief: I'm afraid this is a precursor to a stroke!

Yang: No, why did the power suddenly go out?

Thief: Hey, I cut the wire.

Yang: Where is my mobile phone?

Thief: I cut off the phone.

Yang: Why doesn't my German shepherd bark?

Thief: I cut the German shepherd.

Yang: I have to go out and have a look.

Thief: I'll cut you off if you come out.

Yang: No, I have something to do tonight. I must take strict precautions (imitate the sound of opening doors, unlocking and locking).

Thief: Hum, I have observed him for more than a month. . . . Hum, I designed this anti-theft lock (imitating the sound of unlocking)

Section chief yang: (imitating the sound of the door bouncing back)

Thief: (hit by a door, coughing) Ouch, it's called eating without making a sound. (Stand up, push) This is a spring door. . . I don't believe it, (push again)

Yang Zong: (imitating the sound of the door bouncing back) "Hello. . . "No, there is movement in the room, (waving arms back and forth, making a sound in his mouth). . . Who! ? . . . (continues to wave his arm back and forth) A false alarm. Nobody!

Thief: Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody. . .

Yang: The echo is as big as our house.

Thief: Such a big echo, such a big echo, such a big echo, such a big echo. . . .

Yang: I'm leaving.

Thief: Go, go, go, go. . .

I'm leaving (emphasis)

Thief: You go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go. . .

Yang: Isn't this a ghost? (imitating the sound of opening doors, unlocking and locking)

Thief: Hum, I scared him away. Let me help him clean up. . . . Hit the wall. . . This man is really rich. . . The walls are all soft bags. . . Hmm. . . No, it's like a safe. . . (imitating the sound of code opening). . . Passbook. . . Hong kong dollars. . . Dollars. . . Fake ticket

Yang: (Cooperate with the thief's actions and imitate the sound of opening the safe. . . Imitate the sound of many metals falling to the ground)

Thief: Gold bars. . . Silver bars. . . Copper bar. . . Fried dough sticks . I regret it. Why not bring a sack? Is it easy for me to get rich? I have my clothes bag. . .

Yang: I took his clothes aside.

Thief:. . . Where are my clothes? . . It was left here. It's impossible. . . Is there a thief? . .

Yang: No thieves.

Thief: There are no thieves. Where are my clothes?

Yang: You are a thief! (imitating the sound of turning on the light) Bang!

Thief: Ouch! Which one turns on the light?

Yang Zong: I turned on the light.

Thief: I cut it.

Yang: I used an emergency light. You've been staring at me for a month. Let's meet this time. . . Yo, that look is stealing.

Thief: Uncle. . .

Yang: Huh?

Thief: Uncle. . .

Yang: It's no use calling it that.

Thief: Grandpa. . .

Yang: Call me Lao!

Thief: brother-in-law .

Yang: Hey! . . . Who is your brother-in-law

Thief: I have a sister who will definitely marry you.

Yang: What about my ex-wife?

Thief: She is the big room and I am the second room.

Yang: What Fannie and Freddie! Stop!

Thief: Hey.

Yang: Attention! At ease. It looks like an old sparrow. I have a mobile phone here.

Thief: Ouch, brother-in-law

Yang: Hello! 1 10? I'm a brother-in-law, huh? I'm section chief Yang.

Thief: Well, Director Yang.

Yang: There are thieves in our house! I got it all!

Thief: Oh, it turned out to be a thief. What a liar. . .

Yang: It's none of your business! Oh, right away? The sooner the better! 1 10 Come and tell the police uncle.

Thief: Director Yang

Yang: Yes.

Thief: I can't help it.

Yang: Yes.

Thief: I have a mother of 18 years old and an 80-year-old child.

Yang: There is something wrong with your family, isn't there?

Thief: I want to be a worker. I have no skills.

Yang: Oh.

Thief: Be a farmer. I'm afraid of being tired. I'm going to set up a betel nut stand. Not enough for me to eat.

Yang: You are just lazy.

Thief: I want to open a goldsmith shop, but it's out of stock.

Yang: What about you?

Thief: Isn't it just that every household buys some goods?

Yang: This is stealing!

Thief: Go and steal him. . .

Yang: It's faster to rob a bank.

Thief: You died so fast. . .

Captain Yang: (imitating the sound of shooting) Bang!

Thief: Huh?

Yang: Hurry up!

Thief: Huh?

Yang: Give me something!

Thief: OK, OK, this 600,000 passbook. . . Are you really rich?

Yang: What money? . .

Thief: Forty-eight gold rings

Yang: Hehe. . .

Thief: You can't even move your anklet.

Yang: I am an earring.

Thief: Sixty gold necklaces. . . You little section chief, how can you make such a big fortune?

Yang: How can I make money? I often walk by the river without getting my shoes wet. I have to wash my feet because my shoes are wet. Now that I've washed my feet, I'll take a shower, and the more I wash, the more untidy I get. I'm just messing around. . . .

Thief: Did you get rich by screwing around?

Yang: What kind of money, little public servant, old ox. . .

Thief: Your cowshed is really big.

Yang: Hey? Am I judging you or are you judging me?

Thief: Watch out! At ease! It looks like an old sparrow. . . Director Yang! Yang Da, a corrupt criminal! Are you still talking to me? 1 10 will be here soon, and I will contribute if I expose you! I created you. . . Hum. . .

Yang: Don't forget that you are a thief!

Thief: Neither can you! I'll put it in and let it out in two days.

Yang: Then I can't get out if I catch it. . . Oh, help. . . brother-in-law

Thief: Which brother-in-law do you call?

Yang: I call you brother-in-law. . . I have a sister who will marry you.

Thief: Bah!

Yang: You always spit everywhere. You don't pay attention to hygiene. Fine! Let me tell you something.

Thief: You are so old, how can your sister marry me?

Yang: Brother-in-law. . . . Please, I'm just a small official. Rub some sesame oil, eat some sesame paste and drink some sesame paste! I beg you, don't wake my door when the police come, so I won't call you a thief. Let's work hard, won't it be over?

Thief: What do you mean

Yang: At that time, you could say that you were my brother-in-law. . .

Thief: How can I be your brother-in-law!

Yang: Then I am your brother-in-law!

Thief: Bah!

Yang: Why do you always spit! All right.

Thief: I'm your father!

Yang: There is no such young father!

Thief: recognize the thief as the father.

Yang: Why don't you just say that we are twins?

Thief: We are so far apart, how can we be twins! ?

Yang: Uncle policeman, we are deformed people who don't look alike! Hehehe. . . Family, a misunderstanding, it's okay! Bye.

Thief: Then what?

Yang: The police have left.

Thief: Then what?

Yang: Then you left.

Thief: Then what?

Yang: I escaped. . .

Thief: Watch out!

Yang: What?

Thief: What shall I do if you run away?

Yang: You. . . The meaning of. . .

Thief: Thieves don't leave anything blank.

Yang: Huh?

Thief: You buy goods from every household.

Yang: Huh?

Thief: 19 points.

Yang: OK, this is 10%.

Thief: Are you crazy?

Yang: Huh?

Thief: I'll give you nine dollars.

Yang: Are you nine years old and one year old?

Thief: Huh?

Yang: I have worked hard for decades just to let you slip away before liberation!

Thief: Will you give it or not?

Yang: No!

Thief: No, 1 10!

Yang: Ah, ah. . . (Cover the thief's mouth). . . Half!

Thief: A lot?

Yang: Half!

Thief: You're right. Get the money quickly!

Yang: No, I'll give you money, but you can still wake me up.

Thief: Oh, don't worry. I am an old sparrow in Dongting Lake. I have seen the wind.

Yang: Then let's practice again.

Thief: How to practice? You're a problem.

Yang: I am a policeman now. You!

Thief: Huh?

Yang: What do you do?

Thief: Alas, the government and cadres, alas, I have been wronged. . .

Yang: You haven't tried it yet. Why are you crying?

Thief: Oh, I'm used to it.

Yang: Still an old sparrow. You!

Thief: Huh?

Yang: What does it have to do with him?

Thief: I am his father. . . Ah, ah, ah . He's my dad. . . No, no, no. . We are twins. . .

Yang: Twins? Why is he so old?

Thief: Him?

Yang: Hmm!

Thief: He is precocious! . . . He took the wrong medicine. . .

Yang: You just took the wrong medicine. Why are you so ugly?

Thief: I have occupational diseases.

Yang: What occupation?

Thief: the eyes of a mouse.

Yang: What are you doing here?

Thief: I'm here to purchase goods.

Yang: What kind of goods are in?

Thief: Not 600,000 bankbooks, 48 gold rings and 60 gold necklaces. . .

Yang: OK! You said it all.

Thief: I remember. He stole my skirt!

Yang Qizhi, whose stage name is Qizhi, 1952, is from Fuxian County, Liaoning Province, and a famous crosstalk performer in China. 1970 joined the army and engaged in professional literary and artistic work in the army. 1984 graduated from China Central Radio and TV University, majoring in Chinese. 1989 was rated as "the favorite actor of the audience". Vice Chairman and Secretary General of Hunan Quyi Artists Association, Vice Chairman of Hunan Eloquence and Speech Association. For many years, he has served as the host, screenwriter and director of the literary evenings of major programs in Hunan Province. In addition, Hunan Radio recorded 33 traditional stand-up crosstalk, which became an exchange program with other provinces. He is known as the "golden partner" because of his cross talk with soldiers, and is known as "there are cows and Feng Gong in the north and wonders and soldiers in the south". China Quyi's crosstalk "Wedding, Funeral and Wedding", which was created and performed in June 198, won the first Peony Award and the first performance award. 1999 The comic dialogue "Free Eating" created and performed appeared on the stage of CCTV Spring Festival Evening.

Private, real name Ren Jun1968165438+10 was born in Changsha, Hunan, and graduated from the Music Department of Hunan Normal University. Crosstalk performance artist, program host, studied under the cross talk master Li Jindou. He is currently the deputy head of Hunan Repertory Theatre and the chairman of Hunan Quyi Artists Association.

1999 performed the cross talk "Free Eating" for the first time in the Spring Festival Evening, and won the second prize for the best program.

In 2000, crosstalk "Wedding, Funeral and Wedding" won the first prize of the first national crosstalk "Peony Award" competition.

200 1, the cross talk "Curing a Cold" won the best prize.

In 2006, the work "Who Makes You Excellent" won the second prize of crosstalk genre.

In 2007, the work "Free Phone" won the second prize of drama, folk art, acrobatics and magic in the Spring Festival Evening.