The Art of Communication: Looking at People Inside and Looking at People Outside (illustration 12 edition) is divided into? Investigating others? 、? See the people outside? And then what? Look at people? Three parts. Let's enjoy this book together!
brief Introduction of the content
The art of communication is divided into? Investigating others? 、? See the people outside? And then what? Look at people? Three parts. This book not only pays attention to the theoretical introduction of interpersonal communication, but also adds rich and practical reading materials. With 7 columns and more than 100 articles, you can easily learn and apply the communication skills in the book. More than 50 popular American TV shows, movies and reality shows have been added, so that you can easily confirm the communication principles summarized by the author in each chapter and increase the interest of reading.
Brief introduction of the author
Author: (America) Ronald? b？ Ronald B. Adler (USA) Russell? f？ Academic supervisor translator: Huang
Ronald? b？ Ronald B. Adler, majoring in communication writing. Besides this book, there are six books about business communication, public speaking, small group communication, self-confidence and social skills. Besides writing and teaching, he also helps professionals and business people to improve their interpersonal communication skills in the workplace.
Russell? f？ Professor Russell F. Plocque of the University of Northern Kentucky said. Adler and I met at a communication meeting on 1990, and they reached a consensus on using feature films as teaching tools. Over the years, they have widely written articles, delivered speeches and co-published many teaching materials around the theme of communication.
Translator profile:
Huang, Ph.D., Institute of Educational Psychology and Counseling, Taiwan Province Normal University, was a full-time lecturer at Soochow University, and a part-time lecturer and tutor at Taibei Business School, Normal University, Taiwan Province Art College, Soochow University, Shih Chien University, Fu Jen Catholic University and Ocean University. He is currently the director of the Student Counseling Center of Yangming University.
Reader's comment: communication cannot be copied, but it can be learned.
Although I was psychologically prepared, I was shocked when the art of communication was presented to me. Boy, it's half as thick as a brick. I suddenly began to lose heart. To tell the truth, although the references are reliable, I haven't overestimated this book to this extent. When I first heard this name, I felt that at most, the author worked hard and collected all kinds of different so-called communication skills, plus a little experience of his own chicken soup, which was amazing. Therefore, I have never prepared for reading this book for more than two hours. Until you see the top left corner of the cover? Illustration revision 14? After saying this, my heart sank. Years of reading experience tell me that a book that can be reprinted 14 times is not a bad book.
Open the book and read The Translator's Preface. The first sentence is:? It has been more than 30 years since the first edition of this book. ? I know I will have some wonderful evenings and mornings dedicated to this book. Sure enough, two weeks have passed since I read the first paragraph today. I haven't finished reading this book. However, I'm worried that some ideas that pop up from time to time will be forgotten for a long time, so I'm going to read this book written in a small sticker on the page of the book one day to sort out my feelings and feelings.
This book is positioned by the author as the best reader for the course of college students' contact with interpersonal relationships. Topics include affirmation training, social skills, business communication, public speaking skills, small group communication and other contents and chapters. But looking at it all the way, I think this book can also be used as a communication textbook for workers who have been immersed in the workplace for more than ten years and have worked in management positions for more than ten years. Because the author pays equal attention to theory and practice, and has both depth and breadth, plus various columns interspersed in the book, as well as cases of various movies and American dramas attached at the end of each chapter, the things in the book are more three-dimensional, vivid, interesting and very easy to digest and accept. The following insights I memorized, as well as the correspondence with the teaching materials, are mostly based on my own work experience, which may be biased, but it is also a real gain, or it may be worth learning.
The first harvest: information distortion is initially related to the background of the communicator and the noise generated in the process of communication.
I found an interesting phenomenon in many years of factory site management, that is, the same thing, two people (or departments), such as manufacturing department and quality inspection department, reflect the same problem, quality inspection department always exaggerates, while manufacturing department always understates, which often leads to great discrepancy and deviation. For this reason, I have never been less worried. How to solve this kind of information transmission distortion is the most headache for managers. Therefore, in the past, the measure I took was that if there was a problem, I would usually find the heads of two (or more) departments to communicate on the spot. If I need to make a decision, I will go to the scene to make a decision, and I don't believe any information from either side.
Although there are ways to solve this problem, from a higher level and theoretical point of view, I have been in unknown so and have not summed up anything more valuable. It was not until I saw the communication pattern diagram given by the author in the book (I can't pass the diagram in the comments, but I can see the diagram in the diary) that I suddenly realized:
It turns out that when two departments told me the same problem and phenomenon in the process of transmitting information to me for judgment, they were influenced by the following factors:
1) The influence of the speaker and my own background. I have analyzed the following points and think that it should include the following factors:
Departmental position
Knowledge structure and level
Observation angle
experience
language
I use experience and imagination to restore influence.
......
2) The influence of noise. According to my experience, I think it should include the following factors:
The manufacturing department wants to roll with the punches and avoid trouble.
The quality inspection department wants to magnify small things and find ways to attract attention.
The problem solver doesn't want the boss to pay attention, so as not to leave the impression of incompetence.
Under the pressure of quality, the quality inspection department hopes to produce as few defective products as possible.
The master wants to find out all the problems and show his ability to his boss.
......
The author says that the smaller the overlap between the two sides, the more difficult it is to communicate. If you want to communicate smoothly and solve quickly, it is natural that the overlapping part will become bigger. How can we make the overlapping part bigger? The method I adopted to solve the problem on the spot is effective. In fact, I am trying to reduce the influence of various factors in communication and increase the overlap. But obviously, this is not enough. I still want to educate them how to effectively reduce the noise and deviation in communication. When we understand this level, it seems that we can grasp this problem at a higher level.
The second harvest: more communication is not necessarily good communication.
I used to think that good communication means more communication. But the author of this book says this is a wrong view. I chose the right seat, which is really. I have a living case as a footnote to the author's point of view.
Five years ago, I went to a company as the general manager. When I went, the company was on the verge of life and death. Because of my efforts, I began to make a profit in the second year, and the sales increased rapidly, from almost zero to more than 5 million a month. But it was also at this time that my boss and I began to disagree on management and business philosophy. What I want is to make the company develop as healthily as possible, so I need to establish a perfect talent training mechanism and a substitute team, but the boss has been spinning around in the thinking of being the master of the country. In order to dispel his thoughts, I kept trying to communicate. But in fact, the more we communicate, the more misunderstandings we have. And some things that can be agreed before, like waking up one morning, have very different views. For this reason, I have questioned my communication and expression skills many times. Five years later, after reading the author's passage, I rethought the problem and found that the problem really lies in too much communication. In fact, the boss had preconceived ideas at that time, and he communicated with me in a negative way. At this time, communication has actually fallen into a quagmire. Perhaps, at that time, stopping communication at an appropriate time and expressing the effect with actions may be better than continuous communication with words. At that time, the boss seemed to be like Naoko who doubted his neighbor. Once he became suspicious, the more he talked, the more suspicious he became.
The third harvest: successful communication does not mean mutual understanding.
This view, to paraphrase the current network expression, is: you can't agree more. To be honest, for me, this sentence is a bit of an alarm. I have always felt that mutual understanding is an indicator of successful communication, and I have been working hard in this direction for so many years. But many years later, I found that many colleagues I thought I could get along well at first, and colleagues who seemed to understand many things when communicating with each other, became strangers. On the contrary, some colleagues who felt that they didn't get along well at first, and then met occasionally and had a good relationship.
My deepest memory is of a buddy in the dormitory who just started working. At that time, his starting point was very high. When I was an employee, he was the workshop supervisor. We can talk very well and agree on many things and problems, so I know him very well and there is almost no gap. Later, I took over. I think our communication should be smoother. The truth is. Even now, I still don't understand why our communication is no problem, but cooperation is very difficult, because it is completely contrary to common sense. Perhaps, as the author of this book said, satisfactory communication depends to some extent on the flaws in understanding. Perhaps, knowing each other too well and knowing each other too well is beyond the secrets that ordinary colleagues should know, but it will bring more misunderstandings at work!
The fourth harvest: you can communicate successfully without talking.
The author didn't say so directly. Are you online? The myth of communication? The author says, sometimes, communication is not in this word? . This is easy to understand. But that's all. But when I read 3.5? Empathy and communication? In the first quarter, a past suddenly emerged. That was my past seven years ago. At that time, I was the manager of quality department in a company, and a vice president came, which was very effective and shocked everyone in the company. At that time, he repaired almost all the department managers and supervisors of the company, and more than half of them were struggling to change jobs, and some were still in direct confrontation. But the terrible thing is that I, who used to be famous for my bad temper in the company, didn't have a conflict with him. He didn't fix me, and I didn't challenge him. We didn't communicate and discuss a lot of work in advance, but the pace was very consistent. So, at that time, there will be a very interesting scene between him and me. He won't say a word to me for almost a week, but I seem to know what he needs, so he will come over in a few days and ask for a lot of things made in advance.
This wonderful complementary situation without communication has appeared for a period of time in my career for so many years, only when the boss was around, and has never been encountered since. For so many years, this tacit understanding of communication and cooperation has been a mystery to me. Maybe this is what the author of this book calls empathy? I think there may be such an ingredient. The author says that empathy includes three aspects: first, empathy includes colleagues trying to understand each other while trying to adopt another person's point of view. I think I was really like this. I think I can understand the changes at that time, and I really need extreme measure, and my boss's methods and means are exactly what I expected. Second, empathy requires us to experience the feelings of others at close range. I think, at that time, there was such an element. At that time, the enterprise I worked for was transformed from a state-owned enterprise, and the lazy atmosphere was relatively strong. It's great that I go alone and start a battlefield from scratch. I can feel his feelings without saying anything. Perhaps this is one of the most important factors; Third, really care about each other's well-being. Yes, I really sincerely hope that he can reform successfully, because I don't like all kinds of things in the company for a long time, but I just feel that I don't have the ability and conditions to reform. At this time, he came, and what he wanted to promote and what he expected to achieve was really what I sincerely hoped to achieve. In this way, our wordless cooperation at that time was actually due to empathy. In this way, with empathy, even if you don't talk, your actions will convey information and your communication will be successful!
The fifth harvest: communication cannot be copied.
One cannot step into the same river twice. Similarly, it is impossible for communication to reproduce the same scene twice and achieve the same effect. This is the charm and challenge of communication. After more than ten years of experience in workplace communication, I feel that communication is almost half of a manager's ability. A leader without communication skills, no matter how strong his personal ability is, will not be an excellent leader. The problems and difficulties we encounter are changing every day. Similarly, we ourselves are changing every day. Before reading this book, I was actually a little afraid of daily communication, but after reading this book, my mentality changed imperceptibly, and I finally began to adjust communication as part of my daily work like other skills. When I closed the last page of the book, I even began to be a little excited and eager for the problems I was going to face and the communication I was going to have. Communication can't be copied, which may be the biggest and most valuable gain from reading this book. Think about it, every day, you are about to face new creations that cannot be repeated and copied. What a fascinating and wonderful thing it is. How can we not be full of expectations? !
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