After the quarrel, my husband suddenly "disappeared"

10 years have passed, and this person has never looked back since he left. 10 years, Shang Ying supported her family alone. My son doesn't know where he heard what. He often raises his face and asks Shang Ying, "Mom, where did Dad go?" He doesn't want us? "Asked the child, eyes full of sadness. Shang Ying is most afraid of seeing those eyes. Several times, she looked into the child's eyes and wanted to cry for no reason.

Shang Ying lied to his son that his father had gone out to work, but which father would go out to work for several years without going home or calling his children? Slowly, the son stopped asking questions. Shang Ying knows that she has grown up, and many things may be understood. But Shang Ying's heart has never been solved. Every time she looks at her son's lonely figure, she will feel sad: why does he have to bear the fault of adults? Every time I think about this, Tang Ying will cry and cry deeply. After crying, she will sit alone, and then her hatred for her husband Xu Ming will grow stronger little by little.

Shang Ying and Xu Ming met in their hometown of Suzhou, Jiangsu. Xu Ming was a soldier in Suzhou at that time. After the two fell in love, Shang Ying gave a lot of warmth in a foreign land. After changing jobs from the army, Xu Ming married Shang Ying and started a company with the support of Shang Ying's father.

I thought life would be happier and happier, but what they didn't expect was that there were more and more bumps and bumps after marriage, and finally it developed into a big fight. At the end of the quarrel, both of them felt exhausted and even disheartened. And Xu Ming's company finally closed down because of poor management. During that time, for Shang Ying and Xu Ming, it was more suffering.

Occasionally Shang Ying would think of divorce, but thinking of young children and looking at Xu Ming's once familiar and warm face, she gave up the idea. Being under the same roof, but being strangers, is a kind of suffering for both of them. Many nights, Shang Ying couldn't sleep listening to Xu Ming's slight snoring. Although close to Xu Ming, she felt that something was separated from each other, which made her back cold. I don't know why, Shang Ying always has a faint uneasiness.

Finally, after a big fight, Xu Ming left home. That night, Shang Ying lay beside her sleeping son and kept crying. I thought Xu Ming was just angry, but what Shang Ying didn't expect was that Xu Ming didn't come home for several days. Shang Ying calls him every day, but he can't get in touch. Later, he called his mobile phone, but it stopped. Xu Ming completely disappeared from Shang Ying's life. That year, their son was only 3 years old.

This man has been gone for 10 years.

In this way, Xu Ming got rid of his pain in marriage, which Shang Ying never expected. A feeling of abandonment occupied her heart. During that time, Shang Ying often cried and hated how this man could walk away so easily. But after crying and hating, she still has to face the reality: her husband is gone, and she still has to live. Moreover, she vaguely expected her husband to come back again.

She started to support her family by herself, not only taking care of the children, but also helping her father manage the hardware factory. At the end of the day, she is often exhausted. Later, my father's hardware factory closed down, and Shang Ying went to sell seafood. Besides selling seafood, she took another job.

Shang Ying didn't know whether she was trying to make money or paralyze herself. All she knows is that it was a hard time. In this way, more than three years passed.

One night, after hard work, Shang Ying was washing in the bathroom. After washing, she quietly looked at her haggard face in the mirror and began to cry. Thinking about the happy and warm scene of a family of three around her, Shang Ying suddenly felt that she had a hard time. The next day, my father saw Shang Yinghong's eyes, and he understood eight or nine points in his heart. He said affectionately to Shang Ying, "As long as you are stupid, you are still thinking of others. People have long abandoned you. I took hundreds of thousands of dollars to start a company for him. It's okay now, he's gone. "

After listening to his father's words, it aroused the resentment in Shang Ying's heart. At the beginning, he paid so much. As a result, the man not only failed himself and his children, but also failed the expectations of the elderly. Tang Ying's thoughts are more and more unbalanced. She thought: you have to pay back the debt owed by this man, at least the hundreds of thousands he owes. So, she and her father sued Xu Ming to the court and asked him to repay the money he borrowed from his father when he started the company.

After many visits and investigations, the court finally "caught" Xu Ming and detained him. Xu Ming was released after paying interest totaling 230,000 yuan. Although Shang Ying got the news with resentment in her heart, she still wanted to see Xu Ming and let him make it clear. Unexpectedly, Xu Ming, who was "released", once again "disappeared" without even looking at the child. No matter how Shang Ying inquired, he could not be found.

Xu Ming's decision made Shangying give up completely. Men don't have children or themselves in their hearts, and some expectations saved before are completely shattered. Xiao Lang has been a passer-by since then.

In a blink of an eye, Xu Ming left home for 8 years, and his son 1 1 year old. One day, Shang Ying was angry with his son because he was impatient. His son didn't speak, tears dripped down, and then turned and left. Looking at his son's back, Shang Ying cried sadly. For so many years, children have never enjoyed fatherly love. What happened to him? One day, a friend saw that Shang Ying had been alone for so many years and advised her to start over, but although Xu Ming had been away for many years, their marriage relationship had not been dissolved. Thought of here, Shang Ying felt that she had to find Xu Ming and break with this marriage completely.

At the beginning of 2008, in order to find a clue, Shang Ying went to Hubei, Beijing and other places, but failed to find Xu Ming. Since then, in order to find Xu Ming, Shang Ying has been traveling for nearly two years. She finally found Xu Ming's hometown and Xu Ming's address in Guangzhou. Shang Ying is very happy. Although she didn't know what the result would be, she decided to take time to go to Guangzhou and meet Xu Ming.

However, Shang Ying's hopes were dashed. When she came to Xu Ming's residence, she found that he had rented out the house. She thought that maybe Xu Ming knew that she was looking for him, so she hid again. Although I haven't seen Xu Ming, Shang Ying has gained something. She found that Xu Ming had lived with a woman named Gu Lin for many years, and their property was registered as husband and wife.

This truth turned Shang Ying's suspicion into a fact, and she completely collapsed: although she had long thought that Xu Ming had a woman outside, the fact still made her feel bitter. What is your 10-year waiting, 10-year hardship and 10-year loneliness? Why is Xu Canming happy outside? He must pay a painful price for what he has done!

Shang Ying, full of resentment, resolutely went to the local police station to call the police and asked the public security organs to investigate the bigamy of Xu Ming and Gu Lin. The public security organ filed a case, but due to the lack of evidence provided by Shang Ying and the difficulty in obtaining evidence, the case has not progressed. Shang Ying was disappointed with the result, but at this time, she was more and more unwilling to turn back, as if there was a force in her body pushing her forward. So Shang Ying came to Guangzhou again and asked the Guangdong Women's Federation for help.

Women's Federation for her 10 years of blank marriage.

Back to the story

On that day, Shang Ying cried for a long time in the Rights Protection Department of Guangdong Women's Federation, and the staff responsible for reception, such as lawyer Wang, patiently comforted Shang Ying. Angry, Shang Ying repeatedly said that he would hold Xu Ming criminally responsible and "put him in jail".

After seeing Tang Ying off, Wang carefully examined her materials. Although she had known something before, such as Xu Ming's residence, where he lived with a woman, the evidence was not sufficient. If she wants to convict Xu Ming of bigamy, she needs to collect further evidence. Therefore, Wang and colleagues from the Women's Federation assisted Shang Ying in collecting these evidences.

They faxed the written materials to the Guangzhou Women's Federation, hoping that the Zhongcun Women's Federation, where Xu Ming lived, could follow up the case. Subsequently, the Nakamura Women's Federation accompanied Shang Ying to the police station to learn about the situation, and obtained evidence at Xu Ming's residence. For example, he once lived in a residential area with Gu Lin, and they appeared in the name of husband and wife when they applied for the owner's certificate.

During that time, Shang Ying really regarded the Women's Federation as her own family. When she is in a bad mood, she will go to the Guangdong Women's Federation, sometimes sitting for a day. She said that only by constantly petitioning can the inner anxiety be alleviated. During the period, Guangdong Women's Federation Rights Department, Legal Aid Department, Letters and Calls Office and other staff received her successively.

While helping Shang Ying to collect evidence, the staff of the Women's Federation also used psychological knowledge to help Shang Ying ease her bad mood and further understand her thoughts, whether to divorce, pursue her husband's criminal responsibility or get her due property and compensation. The staff also helped her make a rational analysis. On the basis of understanding her grievances and anger, I also told her that "sending Xu Ming to prison" may not be the best choice, nor may it be the result she really wants. Maybe there is a better way to solve the problem between her and Xu Ming. For example, communicate with Xu Ming to achieve the greatest protection for Shangying in economic interests. In addition, the staff also hope that Shang Ying can correctly view her marriage and the life she will face in the future, and don't just use hatred to dominate her behavior.

Under the guidance of the staff, Shang Ying is no longer as irritable or even out of control as before. She realized that it was not a good idea to vent blindly, but to let go of hatred and liberate her mind. So, with Shang Ying's consent, the staff of the Women's Federation got in touch with Xu Ming and his lawyer at the first time, hoping that both parties could agree to divorce.

During the first negotiation, Shang Ying offered compensation of 6,543,800 yuan, which was later reduced to 600,000 yuan, but Xu Ming was only willing to pay 350,000 yuan, which was far from Shang Ying's expectation, and she did not agree. Since then, the Guangdong Women's Federation has continued to follow up the case and urged both sides to negotiate. A month later, Shang Ying came to Guangdong Women's Federation again, told Xu Ming that she had gone back to solve the divorce problem, and promised to pay 650,000 yuan as maintenance and compensation for her son.

Seeing Shang Ying again, Wang felt that she was very different from before, and Shang Ying seemed to be much more peaceful after letting go of hatred and anger. Only in this way can her future road go on without any burden.

(Except lawyers, all the characters are pseudonyms. )

Expert review

Deng Li (doctor of law, teacher of law department of Chinese People's Public Security University)

Shang Ying's experience is very embarrassing. Her husband left 10 without hesitation, leaving her with unbearable burden of life and mental pain that is hard to calm down. From a legal point of view, with the help of the relevant departments of the Women's Federation and lawyers, Shang Ying obtained more adequate compensation for divorce damages through agreement, and the settlement of her marriage dispute was efficient, standardized and satisfactory. However, from the point of view of life, Shang Ying and Xu Ming could have adjusted and run in more actively in their marriage relationship, so as to support a warm home for their children. Unfortunately, they missed this opportunity, and the loss of affection caused to their children is probably irreparable.