Welcome to today's space-time survey. Have you ever borrowed money from your friends? Have you ever lent money to your friends? Do you find it difficult to ask for money from your friends? When your friends ask you for money, do you find it hard to refuse? You are close friends, but when it comes to borrowing money, everyone immediately becomes embarrassed. Today, the focus of our time and space survey is-what if a friend borrows money?

Let's look at a survey first, that is, if a good friend borrows a lot of money from you, how will you react? We made a survey through Sina. A total of 3700 people took part in our survey. Let's have a look. Although I don't really want to borrow it, I am embarrassed to refuse, 38%. Symbolic loans, if the other party can't afford them, can be borne, accounting for 36%. Make excuses not to borrow, accounting for 14%. Lend it to others happily, accounting for 12%. If we merge, we will find that 12% of them can really lend money to their friends, 88% of them don't want to borrow money when their friends ask them for it, but only 14% of them really can't borrow it, that is to say, only 10% can borrow it. Even if it is borrowed, it is also a symbolic loan, and finally it is not ready to be returned. We can see that it still accounts for 1/3. What is the reason? It stands to reason that we are all good friends. It is natural to give generously and help friends. Why are nearly 90% people unwilling to borrow money? In fact, there is another very important reason, that is, I am afraid to lend money to my friends, and finally my friends will not be available.

Let's look at the next survey. Have you ever lent money to others? Have you ever had the experience that the other party didn't return?

We see that the results of this survey are quite surprising, that is to say, nearly 80% and 77% people lend money to others, and the other party fails to repay it smoothly. Sometimes kindly remind me that my friend may have forgotten to return it, but sometimes my friend may have completely forgotten it or simply stopped taking it. Finally, even because of borrowing money, my former friends turned against me. Let's look at the following example.

In 2003, Chongqing resident Song Yitai died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage, and relatives and friends came to offer their condolences. One of Song Yitai's middle school classmates also came, but after the funeral, he told Song Yitai's wife that Song Yitai had lent her100000 yuan.

Ms. Wang, wife of Song Yitai:

100000, I almost felt like I was going to fall down after listening to this data.

I said, is there an iou? She said no.

Song Yitai's female classmate named Yang Shuzhen is a retired worker in a factory in Sichuan. Song Yitai has been a good friend for many years. Yang Shuzhen said that Song Yitai borrowed money from her twice, and each time she borrowed 50,000 yuan. According to Song Yitai, it is used for stock trading. Because they are very close, there is no IOU.

Yang Shuzhen:

What we said verbally was to borrow it for two years, and he would pay me back after borrowing it for two years. I trusted Song Yitai too much to write to him.

Before retiring, Yang Shuzhen was an ordinary worker in the factory. He said that this100,000 yuan is almost her life savings, but Song Yitai's wife is very clear about this loan, and the money can be returned, but she must bring an iou.

Ms. Wang:

You said 50-50, a few hundred dollars, you can skip the IOUs, and there are still 100 thousand dollars. Can you skip the IOUs?

100,000 yuan is really not a small sum, but Yang Shuzhen couldn't come up with an iou for this loan, and her family also had some doubts about what she said.

The king became Wang Jingjing's brother;

Did you see Song Yitai's death? Why don't you just come and get it? You should have a basis for borrowing money.

Yang Shuzhen:

This thing already exists to the core. How can it be a lie

When the private negotiation failed, Yang Shuzhen wanted to go to the court for money. She remembered the second loan of 50,000 yuan to Song Yitai, which was remitted to Song Yitai's current passbook by herself. The court obtained relevant information from the bank, which did prove this point, but the court held that this did not prove that there was a loan relationship between her and Song Yitai. Finally, after more than two years of two trials, the court finally ruled that Yang Shuzhen lost the case.

Moderator:

Because Yang Shuzhen didn't borrow money, it is difficult for us to confirm whether she finally borrowed money. However, in real life, there are countless examples of lawsuits and friends who turned against each other because of borrowing money. There is a famous Jewish saying that is particularly good. If you really want to lose a friend, lend him money. Indeed, we take it for granted that there are IOUs when borrowing money, and there will be no similar troubles in the future. But in real life, if your relatives and friends borrow money from you, can you really make them write IOUs? It doesn't seem easy.

Let's look at another survey. If friends borrow money from you, will you make them write IOUs? 55% don't know how to borrow money, and 45% know how to borrow money. This data tells us that in real life, if relatives and friends want money, most people will not ask their friends to borrow money. Why? We can listen to people's voices.

Citizen:

They have a good relationship, they are all relatives or friends, and they are all in arrears.

Citizen:

If you are good friends, it is very unusual to write IOUs.

Citizen:

If I had money, I could lend it to him. I can't accept writing IOUs in any case, or I feel embarrassed when I am asked to write IOUs.

Citizen:

Be proud, lest people think you know others very well.

Citizen:

I didn't realize this problem until some borrowed it for several years and didn't pay it back. I should still write, but I feel that the next time someone borrows it from me, it still won't work out.

Citizen:

If you owe me an iou, that kind of trust will invalidate this bill.

In fact, everyone's statements are very vivid. Indeed, in the final analysis, it is a matter of face. Do you think they really don't want people to write IOUs? But afraid of this opening, we feel that we are not close and don't trust you. It seems that our feelings have all been lost because of a friend who borrowed money. This is an idea in our traditional society. How do you do this kind of thing abroad? We also interviewed two foreign friends.

Dr. Ron (visiting scholar in Germany):

If I lend it to a friend, my first thought is what will happen when I get my money back. This is really my idea. I think this is also a typical German culture. The solution to the worst thing in advance is to write an IOU for it.

Eric French student:

In France, if someone borrows money, they will take the initiative to give each other a debit note, which says how much they borrowed and when they will pay it back.

It should be said that the traditional culture of our country is different from that of the west. We pay attention to family ethics, so we rely on human feelings to maintain society. We call it human society. In foreign countries, commodity economy may develop earlier, and it is more of a contractual relationship. Contracts and business relationships are clearly written, which makes us embarrassed to ask for IOUs, while foreign friends may be embarrassed to talk to people if they don't write IOUs, which is caused by different traditional cultures. So in real life, what will happen if you don't ask your friend for an iou, and if your friend doesn't pay you back? We conducted a survey. What would you do if you didn't write an IOU and your friend didn't pay back the money on time?

The first is the innuendo reminder, accounting for 44%, and half of them said politely, Oh, I mentioned borrowing money, and there is still a sum of money to pay back. Direct demand accounts for about 1/3. I won't remind others. I'm afraid I'm embarrassed. I'll bear it. Nearly14 people are still alive. Why is this happening? In other words, in fact, 68% people still say it euphemistically, or don't say it. In fact, in the final analysis, it is still a matter of face. There is an old saying in China, that is, if you borrow money, the contractual relationship is clear, which can and will save a lot of trouble. But in our real society, it is not easy to do this. If you don't write IOUs, or you are embarrassed to let others write IOUs, what can you do? A lawyer gave us some advice.

Zhu Yonghui, lawyer of Beijing Kyoto Law Firm:

First of all, you can consider inviting some friends to have dinner, chat and borrow money from each other. If there is any dispute between debtors afterwards, these friends who were present at the time can be used as witnesses to prove the fact that they borrowed money at the beginning.

Second, if the two sides talk about borrowing and repayment through SMS, email, even QQ, MSN, etc. And if these contents can prove that there were IOUs at that time, they can also be submitted to the court as evidence.

Moderator:

In fact, as long as our friends who want to borrow money are conscious, friends can get along longer and our relationship can be more harmonious.

If you are a very good friend or an ordinary acquaintance, I think you can euphemistically tell your difficulties directly and ask friends or acquaintances for money;

The hardest thing to do is to be an ordinary friend. Just say you're afraid he thinks you're stingy. I think you can indirectly talk about your recent difficulties in front of him, so that he personally feels that such a friend will not pay, because when you are in trouble, he will not even pay back the money he owes you. Are you still friends?

How to get a friend to pay back the money

Most people lend money to their friends. Generally speaking, your friends will pay back the money in time, but there are exceptions. Many people find it always difficult to ask their friends for debts. The following steps will help you.

1, many people not only regard the money lent to their friends as debts, but also test their character. This attitude can easily lead to serious conflicts.

2. reflect on yourself first. Have you ever borrowed money from each other before?

3. What is the purpose of the other party's borrowing money?

4. If the other party doesn't pay back the money, will it affect your family's economic situation?

5. Find out why the other party doesn't pay back the money: (1) temporarily unable to repay your loan. In this case, you should be patient; (2) Like many people, I completely forgot about it; (3) The other party is unwilling to pay back the money.

6. You can remind your friends in the following ways: (1) Tell them intentionally or unintentionally that you are short of money recently and need money urgently. (2) Find a story or joke about lending money to a friend and tell it when you are alone. (3) Write a letter stating that money is needed and ask the other party to return the arrears in time. (4) Honesty is relative. Ask the other party to pay back the money.

7. End the friendship between the two sides. When there is no other way, you have to cut your robe and give up your debt.

Tip: Try to keep the whole thing within the scope of two people, especially not in the circle of friends.

Note: If there is no written loan agreement, it is difficult for you to recover the arrears through legal channels.