I don't know what you've been through, what you mean by loss, and how you lost it. You know, things have many sides, and your position determines the shape of the things you see. We can talk about your past if you like. Let's analyze what is your bad luck and what can be used to complain and think about how to solve the problem, so as to change the outcome of things. Since you are afraid to tell your parents, find someone who has no burden and see if it can be solved.