This is a poem written by Lu You, a famous poet in the Northern Song Dynasty, to his ex-wife Tang Wan. Regret for the Past and Tears are the representative works of Song Ci.
Lu You's ex-wife Tang Wan/Kloc-married Lu You at the age of 0/9. Tang Wan is clever and talented. She was a talented woman at that time. After she married Lu You, she was virtuous and filial. She shares the same interests as Qi Mei's Lu You. But Mrs. Tang, Lu You's mother, didn't like Tang Wan and blamed her indiscriminately. Finally, she forced Lu You to leave Tang Wan. Later, Tang Wan married, and Lu You married Wang, and they never met again.
Ten years later, Lu You and Tang Wan met by chance in Shaoxing Shenyuan. Lu You was filled with emotion and wrote this sentence on the wall, expressing his inner pain and sadness. Tang Wan also wrote: "The world is thin, human feelings are evil, rain sends dusk, and flowers are easy to fall. Xiaofeng has dried up and her tears are still there. If you want to write what's in your head, you can only beat around the bush. Difficult! Difficult! Difficult! Everyone is his own, but today is not yesterday. A sick soul is often like a swinging rope. The horn sounded cold and the night was hazy. Dare not ask questions, swallow your tears and pretend to be happy. Hide. Hide. Hey! The first sentence expresses his infinite yearning for Lu You and his illness caused by meditation, which makes the meaning of this sentence more tragic. After this meeting, Tang Wan died of excessive sadness and depression shortly after returning to China.
The love story between Lu You and Tang Wan is a colorful story in the literary history of Song Dynasty, which has always been mourned by the world. Moreover, they are cousins in poetry and songs and later operas, but some people have questioned this. Are Lu You and Tang Wan cousins?
People who question this relationship point out that according to Baoqing's resume, Tang Wan's father Tang Hong is the son of Tang Yi from Yinshan, and Lu You's mother is the granddaughter of Tang Jie from Jiangling. The two places are far apart. Although they are all surnamed Tang, they are not related by blood. Because Tang Wan's father Tang Hong and Lu You's mother are not brothers and sisters, Lu You and Tang Wan can't be cousins.
However, the materials on which this research is based are limited, and the records of local chronicles may not be reliable. Tang Wan was Lu You's cousin a long time ago.
According to the Southern Song Dynasty's Qidong Wild Language, it is recorded in detail: "Lu Wu Guan married Tang first, and Hong's daughter was also his nephew." In other words, Tang Wan is the niece of Lu You's mother, so Lu You and Tang Wan are natural cousins. Chen Gu in the Southern Song Dynasty also recorded that Tang Wan was Lu You's cousin. After marriage, "Qin and Qin are very harmonious, but it is not the mother's intention." I can't bear to leave the love between husband and wife. After Nanbanyan became famous, its home won the Garden Pavilion. One day, the military attache went to the garden, went to a woman's place to smell and brought yellow wine, which was fruity and mellow. The public can feel its feelings, so it is a designated word. When women see harmony, they have the saying that "the world is cold and human feelings are evil", and they can't cherish all their feelings. Things, disgruntled and die. "This record not only shows that they are cousins, but also describes their married life, explains the reasons for their separation, and explains in detail the process of Lu You's writing Hairpin Phoenix.
Because Chen Hu lived in a relatively short time away from land travel and belonged to the younger generation who traveled at the same time and later than land travel, his words had great credibility. In addition, Liu Kezhuang in the Southern Song Dynasty borrowed Chen Gu's incisive exposition in The Continuation of Poems in Houcun, and thought that Lu You and Tang Wan were cousins. Later, in Yu Shi in previous dynasties, Tales of Song People and other books. The Qing Dynasty is also consistent with Dong Qiyu's records of Ye and the continuation of the old times. Tang Wan is regarded as Lu You's cousin and wife, and left a beautiful love story because of Lu You's opposition.
In fact, by investigating the reasons why Lu You opposed this marriage, we can also find clues about the relationship between Lu You and Tang Wan. There are always different opinions about the reasons why Lu Mu refused Tang Wan, but generally speaking, people agree with two opinions. First, as recorded in "Jade Liquid from the East", after seeing Lu You marry Tang Wan, Lu Mu became more affectionate, but neglected to study and be an official, and lived a life of gain and loss. So she was very dissatisfied and worried that the beautiful and clever Tang Wan would delay Lu You's future. The talented Lu You took the exam once after marriage, but failed. Liu Mu didn't know this was a political reason. She blamed Tang Wan, became increasingly dissatisfied with Tang Wan, and finally forced Lu You to take her away.
Another reason is that Tang Wan divorced because she had no children after marriage, which caused Liu Mu's dissatisfaction. In his later years, Lu You wrote "If I smell the sound of water birds in summer night, I feel ill", in which he wrote: "One concubine gives birth, and several aunts hold grandchildren." This ambition is actually embarrassing, and the oath is short-lived. "Euphemistically expressed that Tang Wan had never given birth after marriage, which led to menstrual dissatisfaction and eventually drove her out of Lujia. This seems incredible at present, but in ancient times, people emphasized that "there are three unfilial, and there are no three unfilial". The main purpose of marriage is the spread of branches and leaves and the continuation of incense. As for housework, being a good wife is secondary.
Therefore, if you can't have a son after marriage, even if you can't have children all the time, it means that the primary purpose of marriage can't be achieved, and this marriage is a failure. At this time, it is natural to dissolve the marriage and will not be questioned. This sentence comes from Lu You's own poem. Tang Wan and Lu You have been married for three years without children, which may be the real or main reason why Lu You doesn't like Tang Wan.
The reason why Tang Wan can't have children is probably because Lu You and Tang Wan are cousins and close relatives, so infertility is normal. Although consanguineous marriage is illegal in modern times, it was considered beneficial to both parties in ancient times. The consequences of consanguineous marriage were not noticed and prevented by the ancients, so the misfortunes of many families are often related to this. Therefore, it is speculated that Tang Wan was childless for three years after marriage, probably because of his cousin's relationship with Lu You, thus providing evidence for their kinship.
In addition, in order to determine the relationship between Lu You and Tang Wan, some scholars have made a detailed textual research on Tang Wan's family background. They sorted out the order of Tang Wan's family composition, and thought that Tang Wan and Lu You's mother, Mrs. Tang, did have a family relationship, so Lu You and Tang Wan were also related. Poor Lu You Tang Wan, a brilliant cousin, has become a loving couple with similar interests. At that time, kissing each other was supposed to be a good thing, but it became a tragedy because they had no children after marriage.