At an ignorant age, we all boast to our parents that when we grow up, we will definitely let them live a good life of material prosperity. They can get up early and get greedy for the dark, save money and buy daily necessities every day, and they don't have to worry about not being able to pay expensive tuition fees, not to mention asking for help and judging people's faces because of money. At that time, we were full of childlike innocence and promised to buy a villa for our parents, take them to travel in a luxury car and eat all the delicious food in the world. Others may think we are funny, but for them, it is full of joy and happiness.
However, at that time, the promises made in earnest were purely child's play, and no one would take them seriously or care. Like a blank check that comes with your mouth open, it is left behind and will never be cashed. The reason why we dare to exaggerate so arrogantly is that our youth and ignorance are easily forgiven without any consequences. As we grow up, we gradually realize the warmth and coldness of human feelings, bid farewell to childishness, and move towards maturity step by step. Until then, we gradually discovered that there are some things in life that are beyond our power.
As the days passed, life became less and less confident. People are always worried when they are faced with important choices in life, so that they miss opportunities to change themselves again and again, and sometimes even go on the rampage because of some trivial things. Entering the adult world, we begin to become sensitive, fragile, anxious and afraid of failure. We are used to being led by life, and when the critical moment comes, we will always take a step back timidly and unconsciously. Therefore, we no longer have the courage to make a commitment to someone as frankly and easily as we did when we were young.
We believe that the commitment at this time is a heavy responsibility. It is not a childhood joke, nor is it a sweet talk that lovers deliberately please each other when flirting, nor is it waste paper that can be thrown into the trash can at will. It is more like a sacred mission entrusted to us by God. If you agree, you must keep your word and your promise. No matter how many difficulties and satires you experience, you must stick to the end. But because of uncertainty, I am not sure whether I have enough ability and luck to turn my promise into reality. After all, we still have poor dreams.
But the truth is, it's not how hard it is to keep the promise and how much it costs, but the innate selfishness of human beings. We lack a spirit of sacrifice and dedication, because we are afraid of disappointing others, and we are more afraid of being disappointed by others. For us, commitment is like rainy weather in February in the south, and there is no fixed number.
When I was young, love was filled with sweet breath everywhere, and the temperature of the sun was just right, comfortable and soft. Immersed in such an atmosphere, it is the easiest to breed commitment. We will not hesitate to say to her: I will love you all my life and never give up. Many times, we all want to live a better life, but as a result, we can't live our lives peacefully as we wish. I never thought that in the end, our love would be lost to a promise.
Love in youth is a cruel reality. Some people may never find a person who cherishes themselves.
When I was in college, I met a senior, Tingzi, a typical southern woman. She is short, delicate and gentle, with a beautiful baby face, pure and bright smile, lovely and charming, and her talent and intelligence are written in her eyes. What is more rare is that she is simple, considerate and natural and graceful. In the literary world, there are many admirers and pursuers. I am one of them.
As the saying goes, I am glad that I can win the hearts of my seniors with one heart and one mind. We are all assistants in the Information Department of the Literature Society. Apart from work, we usually have no communication, which makes me very upset and nervous, for fear that my senior sister will be robbed by others accidentally. But for a while, I don't know if God heard my inner call. When we go out on a mission, we are always wrongly tied together. I was in charge of taking pictures, and she was in charge of writing, and we gradually got to know each other. I was secretly glad, but before we could spark the love, I heard the news that my senior had a boyfriend, which gave me a blow and my heart was almost broken.
The person who won the beauty before me was a senior in the same department and major as my senior. Sure enough, ginger is still old and spicy. He is a famous chairman of the school debate club. He often wears a black and white two-piece suit, white shirt, black pants, a pair of classic Nike sneakers and a pair of old-fashioned black-rimmed glasses. He walks with the wind under his feet, which is very elegant.
The only bad thing is that he is not confident enough, his temperament is changeable, and he is easy to feel inferior in front of excellent people. To put it bluntly, he is just a little weak and afraid of all changes. He won't take the initiative unless he has to.
His greatest hobby is debate, and his dream is to be an excellent lawyer.
Their family background is average, they are all working families in ordinary prefecture-level cities, and they learned to be independent very early. In order to make a living, they go out to work part-time on weekends to earn some living expenses and reduce the burden on their families. They worked as waiters, cleaners and dishwashers in restaurants. Their salary is eight yuan per hour, and they earn about one hundred yuan a day. They met as if it were destiny takes a hand. During the winter vacation, they stayed in school and worked in the same tutor center. On one occasion, their senior worked overtime until ten o'clock in the evening. When she went downstairs to go back to school, she found that it was raining cats and dogs, street lamps were swaying and there were few pedestrians. A cold wind blew, and every cell in her body was shaking. Just then, he also came down from upstairs and saw her standing alone in the cold air outlet. Full of love and courage, he said shyly, I'll see you off. She made no secret of her inner excitement and joy, and immediately agreed without thinking.
During the storm, she snuggled up to his broad and thick back, and she felt extremely warm and moved. Later, I felt heartbroken every time I met, and two congenial people naturally came together. When they are in love, they want them to be together for 49 hours a day. They go to the tutor center to work together, tell stories to children, teach them to sing and do handicrafts, have dinner together after work, and watch midnight movies together at the end of the month.
She loves him very much, and she is stupid. No matter what she does, she thinks of him everywhere. Every woman wants to pin her love on a trustworthy person. She was convinced that it was him. She also believes that in the near future, they will walk into the marriage hall together, get married and have children, and have a happy life.
He also patted his chest and promised: "I will accompany you through the longest years, and I will stand in the front and shelter you from the wind and rain at any time."
With deep love, mutual tolerance and trust, they walked through the university for four years hand in hand, breaking the curse of "breaking up after graduation". After graduating from senior school, he went back to his hometown, a city, without telling his family, and lived an upside down life day and night. She is exhausted from work every day, but she never complains, because his company is enough.
At first, it was not very smooth to find a job in city A. My senior sister submitted a lot of resumes, but most of them fell into the sea without the following. After going back and forth many times, she was finally hired as a Chinese teacher in a primary school. The salary is not high, but you can rest on weekends, so you can have more time to take care of him. He entered a law firm as a paralegal. He is well paid, but she is always on call 24 hours a day. The work pressure is so great that there is almost no extra time and energy to accompany her. Senior sister knows the nature of his work and understands it very well.
I am in my twenties, sharing a room, snapping my fingers every day and learning to be careful. They put an end to any extravagance and waste and never spend more money where they can. Every month, they have to plan how to pay rent, water and electricity, and various miscellaneous daily expenses. Calling their parents is always busy, busy, busy. "Mom, I'll go home if I'm not busy next month."
In this way, they laughed together and shared. When being laughed at by colleagues, they poured out their grievances to each other and went home to comfort each other. When the ruthless landlord urged them to pay the rent, they worked harder. They hide under the covers at night and secretly speak ill of the landlord, saying that he is cold-blooded and addicted. Two years later, they finally settled down, and their lives were not rich, but they got by. At that time, the seniors felt very satisfied. Even if his feelings are getting dull, he is no longer so gentle and considerate. It is simple and beautiful enough for two people to come together.
But life is like the weather, there are sunny days and cloudy days. It seems easy to laugh on a sunny day, but it may take more courage to sing and dance on a rainy day.
In the third year of work, she realized the dream she had been pursuing and became a formal lawyer, but she was still the little teacher who was unknown, willing to be ordinary, full of life lessons all day and faced a group of children jumping up and down. Since then, he has become more and more busy, so busy that he has no time to answer her phone calls and reply to her text messages. Whenever she asks why, he always shows impatience and loses his temper for no reason. She can understand these helplessness and grievances.
Today, she went out of the hall and into the kitchen, but she was no longer the innocent Snow White. She has two years of family life experience, dealing with pots and pans every day, waiting for him to come home at night, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, and finally washing herself. At the age of 25, before putting on a beautiful white wedding dress, she became a capable, anxious and slovenly wife day by day.
She looked at herself in the mirror, her skin was rough, her body was covered with a wide T-shirt, her figure was bloated, her eyes were dull, and there were sparse wrinkles in her eyes, which was not the makeup that a young girl should have at all. She suddenly found that she was really no longer that charming girl, no longer that youthful and energetic girl, and she couldn't help feeling sad and lost.
At the moment, she really wants to have a real home, give her stability, give her warmth and give her strength. At that time, she mentioned marriage to him intentionally or unintentionally, but what she got was his indifference and scolding. One day, she got up the courage and said to him seriously, "Let's get married. I really want to have a home. " Even if he begged, he was indifferent. He said: "We are still very young. We will get married sooner or later. There's no need to worry. In addition, my work has just stabilized and is on the rise. This time is really not suitable for marriage. "
She could hear the refusal in her words, so she didn't force her. But she always believed that he would live up to himself. After all, they have a deep affection for more than six years.
In the following days, he still went out early and came back late, going his own way, wandering around every day, completely forgetting that there was another woman waiting for him at home, regardless of her mood and needs. Only when classmates get together does he remember to take her out and show great love. Her spare time life is very simple. She doesn't like shopping, doesn't drink and never goes to bars. When she is free, she stays at home to water flowers and read books, or goes out to visit friends.
He said that he loved freedom and friends, and lied that he would go home late because of work needs or because his colleagues had no choice but to refuse the invitation. When he came home late for dinner, he was as drunk as a fiddler. He held leather shoes in one hand and twisted the door handle in the other, such as mine detection. Then he swaggered into the room and accidentally knocked over the vase she bought recently on the counter. It's very noisy, sometimes even disturbing the neighbors who sleep next door. Hearing the sound, she woke up from the sofa and quickly helped him to the conference room. He fell asleep and didn't know what happened. Although she sleeps with him every night, she feels that there is endless distance between them.
At that time, she had a strong feeling that she was no longer his irreplaceable partner, and perhaps he had forgotten the promise he had made to her. She often thinks repeatedly whether she should temporarily separate him for a period of time, let each other calm down and reconsider this hard-won love. But because I love him too much, I can't bear to leave. I continue to get along with him carefully, take care of him and care about him. She never bothered him with trifles in life. When the light bulb at home was broken, she changed it and beat the cockroach herself, even if it scared her to death.
Until later, one day, she was not feeling well during her physiological period. She called him: "I feel a little sick. Can you go home early tonight? " He said, "no, the boss asked me to work overtime tonight, so I can't leave." Nothing, I will hang up. " His indifferent tone and attitude made the grievances and dissatisfaction accumulated in her heart finally break out at this moment. She suddenly hysterically said to the mobile phone: "I am your girlfriend. You always know that you are addicted to your work, my sadness, your indifference, my concern and your blindness. Is work really that important? Do you really care about me? " On the other end of the phone, he paid no attention to her complaints and grievances. He just said impatiently, "That's it, I'm hanging up", and then continued to work hard.
Lonely and helpless, she leaned against the wall and cried sadly like a child. In the evening, he came home as if nothing had happened, without any explanation or comfort. She was heartbroken.
She knew it was time to leave. The next morning, she packed her things and went back to B's hometown. He didn't stay. He said, "I'm in a hurry to go to work, so I won't send you to the station." Then walk out of the house and never look back. And she can only pretend to be strong and say, well, when his figure disappears from her sight, she finally can't restrain her inner collapse, sadness and heartache, and her eyes are full of tears of despair.
He promised her that she was the only woman in his life. She also believes that he will not be sorry for her. She said, "When I decided to marry him, I decided to give my life to him." She thought he would try his best to get her back and promised to marry her, but it was just wishful thinking.
He is still obsessed with his work, taking part in endless entertainment activities in the evening and making his mark in Vanity Fair. He was full of pride in front of others, but he only forgot her departure. When people are in infinite scenery, it is easiest to forget those lovers who have been silently accompanying them.
She left, and he didn't go to find her. He called three times, meaning that if you don't come back, we will break up. Now, his original promise, like a lie that was exposed, is worthless.
She didn't look back.
In the end, this relationship ended in nothing.
Their love finally fell to the promise. When I was young, my feelings were so fragile that they could stand the wind and rain, but they could not stand the test of time and commitment. Feelings, it seems, can only be temporarily maintained by promises, but when love really faces choices, people will be defeated in front of reality. Commitment is like a boat in the sea, which can't stop the stormy waves from sinking to the bottom of the sea, leaving only weak sighs and pale memories.