Many times, it is difficult for us to figure out what we are deceiving ourselves, especially when you feel that you are "normal, there is nothing wrong". Usually, lying is not a big moral problem, but a personal problem. You may feel inconsistent with what you are doing because you are afraid to admit what is happening. These things will make you feel uneasy, make you feel like a failure, and feel the need to explain and prove it in the way that suits you best. At this time, self-deception began its performance.
Recognizing self-deception usually requires a high degree of self-awareness, especially considering that we are often bombarded by social media and untrue opinions of people around us. Many people choose to present their lives in a wrong way, and when we try to be honest with ourselves, it will seem out of tune with the surrounding environment and easily be regarded as "heterogeneous", so thinking is particularly important.
By realizing the fact that we are multidimensional, we can expand our thinking to face the fact that we may lie to ourselves intentionally or unintentionally. Self-deception is not always easy to find, because we are good at self-deception. We are willing to believe lies, because it is often easier to accept lies than the truth.
To know if you are deceiving yourself, here are four states that may tell you the truth:
1. You will have some bad symptoms.
You may find that you are very emotional or stressed about certain things in your life. This may be a sign that you are not completely honest about what happened to you.
Interpersonal relationship is a good example, because most of us can resonate with it. You may be with someone you know is not right for you, but you try to convince yourself that things will get better. You may find that when you think of your partner, you will feel sick and anxious, but you will soon forget it every time. This is a sign that you are uneasy about your relationship, and you are deceiving yourself at this time. You need to pay attention that your emotions and physical reactions convey a lot of things that the brain doesn't say.
You don't have your own beliefs.
One of the biggest lies you can tell yourself is to think that what others think of you is true. In some ways, this is the saddest kind of lie, but it is easy to get into the habit of doing it. When someone speaks ill of you, you will believe it. No matter how true the facts are, or what the situation is, you accept their words, not your own beliefs.
But on the other hand, it is also a kind of self-deception ... You may habitually tell yourself, "Those nice things they say are not what they really mean." You think other people's compliments are insincere, and you think that the person said those words only out of courtesy or purpose, so you ignore them as untrue things and don't accept positive comments from others. At this time, you are deceiving yourself.
Remember: there is a thin line between humility and denial.
You don't see things objectively.
In our life, we often experience scenes where others give us advice or criticism. Many times, their suggestions or criticisms are really constructive. However, we often ignore such voices. When we can't hear such a sound, you should pay attention. At this time, you are self-centered. Usually you are selfish, arrogant and conceited, and you will enter a state of "they are just jealous and I know I am doing well".
In this state, your mind can't look at and analyze things objectively. Therefore, when others give you advice or criticism, objectively analyze it, change it if you have it, encourage it if you don't, and strive to improve yourself on the original basis.
You are becoming what others want you to be.
Do you want to please some people in life? Is your choice based on what others want you to do? Whether you obey the wishes of your overbearing parents or pretend to make a good impression on each other, ask yourself whether you are becoming the person you want to be. Have you ever neglected to listen to your true feelings and only considered how to make the other person like or love you more?
If the answer is yes, then you are becoming what others want you to be. At this time, you are deceiving yourself.
How can we stop deceiving ourselves? You must abide by one rule: never deceive yourself.