Opening (a table, uncle sitting on a stool)
Uncle: The world is getting worse and worse. Moral decline, people are distracted, and the team is not easy to bring. Now some male students are a bit obscene, and they want to rush in when they see the girls' dormitory.
(At this moment, a boy wants to sneak in. )
Uncle: (striking the table) Stop! Demo, play dirty with me, you are still young.
Man A: What are you shouting? I've never seen a handsome guy.
Uncle: Just you? Look at the mountains and waters from a distance, grin from a distance, look at the mountains and waters from a distance, and look at freckles from a distance.
Man A: How dare you insult me? Do you know who I am?
Man A: I am a legendary handsome man, well proportioned by the wind, known as "the ground sinks and the water flows backwards", a ghost sees sorrow, a combination of beauty and wisdom, and the embodiment of hero and chivalry. Everyone loves me, and I do everything for my friends and girlfriends.
Uncle: Oh, aren't you the one who didn't deserve to fight when he was a child, but didn't have the money to buy a card to play Tetris online when he grew up?
Man A: Low key, low key.
Uncle: No.
Man a: it doesn't matter if I don't know you. When I come here often, you will know me. Everyone is from Normal University, one of our own, and you are here.
Listen, I'll help you go in and patrol.
Uncle: Please (Fan Wei).
Man A: Don't thank me. This is what we young pioneers should do.
Uncle: Stop! Come back, come back, you almost got in.
Uncle: Are you the only one who wants to blend in? A weak word kuo (the first sound) is on my face. As a freshman, I have the cheek to tell you about the Young Pioneers. Disappear in front of my eyes immediately.
(Action: The man makes a stop action)
Man A: My father works in a factory.
Uncle: Which factory is your father from?
Man A: My father is from the crematorium and my mother is from the funeral home. This is my business card. I can give you a 99% discount if anything happens to your family in the future.
Uncle: Your skin itches.
Man A: I see your face is blue, your pupils are dilated, you have epilepsy in the upper body and a stroke in the lower body. Why don't I book you a seat first?
Uncle: If you don't fight for three days, you'll go to the house and uncover the tiles!
(Two people jump out-soldier A and soldier B)
Uncle: Who is that? Get him.
(Man A is dragged out)
Man A (loudly): 10% off! 50% off buy one get one free!
(Male A disappears, male B goes up, and uncle continues to read the newspaper)
Man B: (singing and going on stage) Everyone says I look like Chow Yun Fat, but in fact I look like Andy Lau.
Man b: I'm bored to death. Being handsome is annoying. If I were a girl, I would marry myself.
Uncle: What's your name again?
Man B: You can call me by my nickname. My nickname is Jay.
Uncle: Jay, what are you doing here? Have you tried?
Man B: Nothing, just looking around.
Uncle: Then why did you turn around here? Do you know where this is?
Man B: Isn't it the girls' dormitory? Girls' dormitory, boys are moving forward.
(Say that finish and step in)
Uncle: The abdomen contracts slightly, and the chest naturally bulges. Shoulders back, neck up ~ ~ ~, feet up, right?
Uncle: If you go any further, you will be fined. 10 yuan, 30, 50 yuan!
Man B: You rob money, my poor boy. You can't treat me like this.