First, children, have a nice trip!

65438+ 10 65438+March, five days after the National Day holiday, a 25-year-old chemical engineering graduate student from Dalian University of Technology ended his life in the laboratory. After this incident was exposed, the network voice reached my ears and flooded the screen.

This kind of life came to an abrupt end at the age of 25, like a flower, which was swallowed up by the storm before it bloomed in the sun. The last thing he left to the world was only a glimpse. In sharp contrast to this tragedy, there is only humility and gentleness between the lines. I can't imagine how desperate he was when he wrote these pages, and whether words have become the most powerless expression at the moment. I can't imagine how helpless a person would be. At the last moment of his life, he only used these short pages to complete his own life. Even the friends around him didn't expect that he would commit suicide. "Bullying" without a tutor is not ignorance, but seems to be just a bit "bad luck".

Things on the hot search, some "not nice" voice constantly overflow the screen:

"I don't understand why I want to go this way! What should parents do? "

"Students wrote a suicide note, revealing their difficulties in papers, experiments, graduation and so on. .......................................................................................................................................................

Who doesn't know that "there is only one life, and living is more important than anything else?" Or is it a simple and frivolous sentence that the resistance to setbacks is too weak and there is a problem with mental health? For a time, the "fragile theory" and "melodramatic theory" flooded the whole screen, strangers were no longer "friendly" and the network was no longer "quiet". In the heavy rain, hundreds of ghosts walk at night, and some people are happier than ghosts. We are boiling, standing on all the moral high ground to blame and wallowing in other people's tragedies. Even if his life disappears and falls, he can't get sympathy and tenderness from others like himself.

As the suicide note finally wrote: "Let me become a cat in a cat cafe or a wild cat in my next life. After all, the cat is ten years old, and I have lived for twenty-five years, not much longer than the cat. "

Who would have thought that six years ago, he was still a sunny boy, full of infinite reverie and longing for his future life.

Does it snow heavily in winter?

Children in the south haven't seen much snow, please ask your predecessors.

What's the registration number for freshmen?

In order to expect a winter snow, he was curious about the north far from home.

Like countless teenagers admitted to the university, I spent the whole summer reading the post bars and forums of the university I am going to.

The only constant, whether he was six years ago or now, has his own unique humor and warmth between the lines.

What was once a "new life" has now become an "end". This time, there is no turning back. Perhaps, he never wants to look back. The world did not treat him with tolerance and gentleness. Don't persuade others to be good, don't suffer others. Similarly, don't laugh at the weakness of others without their suffering. No one can really understand the tears, pain and collapse he experienced before his death.

The knife is already in the body, and they can't pull it out, let alone stick it in others. I can't feel the pain, and I can't understand their hearts that want to leave. No one really doesn't want to live, but no one wants to commit suicide with a glimmer of hope. But the reason is that you can't imagine how desperate a person can be

People who have suicidal thoughts often hear such comfort, "The world is beautiful and people will love you". But what if this person thinks that "the world is beautiful, but I don't deserve it"? People who live in the dark are often advised to "see the scenery, eat something delicious and have fun". But what if this person can't find the fun he deserves in these interesting things? Life is a difficult problem, yes, but the standard of measurement is different for everyone.

For those who have left, we should understand that anyone can live with their truest self at any time, which is something to be proud of.

The unspeakable suicide actually makes people understand from another angle: "I can leave this world when I want, which makes life bearable, rather than destroying it."

No one committed suicide to die, all he wanted was to stop the pain. Everyone can pay attention to the phenomenon of suicide, but don't magnify suicide cases and don't treat suicide as "entertainment". Every time Witt effect appears, there is no doubt that it will be a tragedy for the whole society and countless families.

Today, we watch others die, instead of blurting out why, and then speculating and judging their past-it is better to mourn silently and respect their departure like the living.

We can never feel the same way, but at least we can try to pity others, instead of accusing others from the moral high ground and adding sadness to others' tragedies again.

Secondly, suicide is a serious public health problem.

For many people in modern society, the pace of life is accelerating and the burden is increasing. Death can't seem to be called the "most terrible thing" in life.

"You do things too slowly. Do you still want to do it? " ; A wage earner who has worked for many years lives in a passive Nuo Nuo every day; Work that does not belong to one's post has to be done, because competent people work harder; Newcomers are inexperienced and need to be taken care of because their qualifications are slightly deeper; If something goes wrong, I will be dumped inexplicably, because of various "reasons", so I have to recite it. If you continue to work like this, you won't find the true feeling of being born human. But if you choose to give up, it means that you are under the pressure of unemployment and have no social dignity. Being caught by the boss, colleagues, the workplace and everything around, stuck in the bottleneck of life, unable to move. There is neither the power to change nor the time to solve the problem. Can you kill yourself and start all over again in the hearts of people whose careers are frustrated?

"Mothers are not always like this? Didn't I help you with the housework? " ; A new mother, day and night to perform the so-called "duties"; A husband who doesn't care about family chores will occasionally use verbal violence against himself; Children who cry on any occasion are always waiting for someone to be patiently coaxed; Seemingly amiable parents-in-law, you see, I'm going to bosse around and educate myself soon; As a mother, as a wife, as a daughter-in-law, it seems that they are inferior; Play the role they want wholeheartedly, and then what? Loneliness means you are not yourself. In the hearts of people tortured by their families, can they commit suicide and usher in a relief?

"It's a pity that you got that disease at such a young age." ; A powerful gymnast, suffering from an incurable disease, can only spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair; When fate destroys the bright future, when loss is life, when the whole world becomes desolate; Overlooking and sympathizing with strangers, there is endless collapse, anger and sorrow; After venting, I looked in the mirror, and it was still the pale face that had nothing to do with health. Can suicide rekindle hope in the hearts of terminally ill people?

Just as we know that a fly can tell black and white when it falls into milk, we also know that death will bring an end to everything. However, many things in the world can be seen clearly, only one thing, only about yourself. Few people will understand and love their gloomy or bitter emotions from the perspective of suicide. The philosopher Nietzsche said that everyone's heart is a battlefield full of dead bodies.

When I was young, each of us should believe that the world is beautiful, someone will love me, and I can realize the possibilities in all kinds of expectations ... However, when I grow up, we struggle all the way, waiting for us only with all kinds of unsatisfactory and unknown self-redemption. The fact that the adult world is full of depression and anxiety is indeed negative enough. But despite the negative, we still have to say it. Because this is the real feeling that many people want to vent, these things can't and shouldn't be wrapped in sugar.

Obviously, people who are suffering from depression suppress their emotions and apologize to the people around them; Obviously, it is a girl who has been sexually assaulted and eroded, but she blames herself again and again. "It's all my fault that I'm too weak."

Data show that suicide is a serious public health problem. According to the statistics of the World Health Organization, more than 800,000 people commit suicide every year, and one person dies every 40 seconds on average. Suicide is the second cause of death in 15~29 age group.

Suicide refers to the dangerous behavior that individuals intentionally or voluntarily take various means to end their lives under the influence of complex psychological activities. Suicide is a complicated social phenomenon.

According to a survey conducted by Beijing Psychological Crisis Research and Intervention Center, mental disorders, marital conflicts and financial difficulties are the three groups most likely to commit suicide.

According to statistics, at least 250,000 people commit suicide and 2 million people attempt to commit suicide every year in China. China Youth Daily quoted the investigation and analysis of Beijing Psychological Crisis Research and Intervention Center as saying that suicide has become the first cause of death for people aged15-34.

It is reported that teenagers and women are the main groups of suicides in China. Teenagers commit suicide because they are facing great social pressure, but they lack the necessary frustration education and psychological quality education at school and at home, which leads to their low psychological quality and lack of corresponding coping ability in the face of pressure. Preventing teenagers from committing suicide is by no means an individual behavior of teenagers. In addition to improving teenagers' psychological quality and self-control, it is very important for schools and families to participate in preventing teenagers from committing suicide.

Modern women hold several jobs, which brings them different pressures and may lead to depression. Women in China face great pressure as a whole and are easily influenced by emotions. In addition to accepting the same social competitive pressure as men at work, women should also be good housewives. They are particularly tired, and many women are often victims of domestic violence. In addition, women are also under the pressure of their children. Once a child encounters problems in study and life, it is easy for the mother to blame herself and take the responsibility on herself.

To reduce the occurrence of female suicides, we should start from the following two aspects: ① Women should make good use of social resources and seek social support in time, for example, when they feel depressed, they should seek support and help from relatives and friends. You should expand your hobbies, take part in more social activities, don't be too withdrawn, and tie yourself with your husband and children.

Positive factors can prevent people from having suicidal thoughts and behaviors. These factors include: good self-confidence, adequate social support (especially contact with family and friends) and a stable and happy marriage.

One of the effective means to prevent suicide is early diagnosis and timely treatment of mental illness. In addition, the establishment of specialized institutions to provide telephone consultation or professional intervention is also one of the preventive measures.

Third, the causes and types of suicide.

1. Unbalanced type

Dysfunctional suicide refers to the destruction of the inherent relationship between individuals and society. For example, loss of work, learning ability, self-care ability, death of relatives, lovelorn or sad, etc. It makes people feel overwhelmed and unable to control themselves and commit suicide.

2. Fatalism

Fatal suicide refers to an individual who commits suicide when he feels that his fate is completely out of his control because of various reasons and excessive control and command from the outside world. For example, in the secret room where prisoners are imprisoned, religious people give up their lives.

3. Self type

Self-suicide is just the opposite of altruistic suicide. It refers to suicide, because the individual has lost social constraints and connections, is indifferent to the society and group in which he lives, and feels lonely. For example, divorced people, people without children.

4. Altruistic type

Altruistic suicide refers to suicide under the pressure of social customs or groups or in pursuit of a certain goal. It is often responsible to sacrifice the ego to complete the ego. For example, Qu Yuan devoted himself to the Miluo River to wake people up with death; Meng Jiangnv cried at the Great Wall and committed suicide. Sick people commit suicide to avoid involving their families or society. This kind of psychological death of suicide is valuable and the only choice.

5. Infectious types

Witt effect is a "suicide imitation phenomenon". When people with inner pain see other people with inner pain take the form of suicide. He will easily agree with this means of eliminating pain.

In the study of suicide, the infectivity of suicide is a phenomenon that has always been concerned. Many studies have introduced the fact that the number of people who commit suicide or attempt to commit suicide in society has increased due to the detailed reports of some suicide incidents by media such as film and television and radio. In Japan, a popular actress committed suicide by jumping off a building. In the following months, there were many similar suicides, most of which were female students. A male teacher of the University of Tsukuba committed suicide by jumping off the 7th floor of the Science and Technology Building. Three people committed suicide in the same way in one year.

Suicide imitation and subconscious guidance do exist. News reports that are most likely to lead to imitative suicide have the following characteristics: (1) detailed reports on suicide methods; There is little mention of physical disability caused by suicide; Ignore the long-term mental health problems of suicide; Simplify the causes of suicide; Suicide is well-known and has great social influence; People think that suicide will bring benefits. In order to reduce the spread of suicide, the mass media should be cautious when reporting suicide, and should try to point out that there are many other ways to commit suicide, and suicide is not the only way out, so as to minimize those who have suicidal thoughts from thinking that suicide is the right way to deal with difficulties, and suicide is an understandable choice.

6. Other types

China scholars divide suicide into emotional suicide and rational suicide.

Emotional type's suicide is often caused by explosive emotions, which are caused by injustice, remorse, guilt, shame, anger, irritability or anger. This kind of suicide process is relatively rapid, the development cycle is short, and even shows instantaneous impulse or suddenness.

Rational suicide is not a passionate state caused by accidental external stimuli, but my own long-term evaluation and experience. After full judgment and reasoning, I gradually germinated my suicidal intention and chose suicide measures purposefully and planned. Therefore, the process of suicide is relatively slow and the development cycle is long.

Fourth, suicidal mood and its relief.

1. The formation of suicidal mood

The formation of suicide behavior is quite complicated, involving biological, psychological, cultural and environmental factors. According to the research report of psychiatry, 70% of people who commit suicide have depression, and the suicide rate of mental patients is as high as 20%.

Social chaos-violence, crime, drugs, divorce, unemployment, etc. -Among the social and environmental factors, there are family problems, marital changes, losses, migration, unemployment, physical illness and other suicides. In some cases, it is all the reasons for suicide. Research shows that any single factor is not a sufficient condition for suicide, and it will only happen when they are combined with other important factors.

Suicide, that is, the feeling of wanting to commit suicide, means that the depressed, painful and confused emotions have become so deep and strong that ending one's life seems to be the only way out.

Everyone experiences different suicidal emotions. Some people may feel unbearable endless pain, and some people may not necessarily want to die, but just feel that they don't want to live like this anymore. With the ups and downs of suicidal emotions, people may have a strong suicidal intention for a while, and fear of death for a while, struggling repeatedly in a dilemma mental state. The following are some common feelings, thoughts and experiences of people with suicidal feelings:

Feel that living is meaningless; Feel unbearable pain as if there is no end; I feel that I am not needed, useless and worthless to others; Feel deeply lonely and abandoned, and feel isolated from the world around you; Feeling helpless and confused, it seems that there is no choice but to end your life; I think if I leave this world, others will live better; Hate yourself and blame yourself; My body feels numb and I feel that I have been taken away.

2. How to identify the suicidal mood of people around you?

When a person has suicidal thoughts, ta may not directly confide his feelings to people around him. But there are some performances and behaviors that people can observe, which are what we often call "early warning signals":

Showing extreme depression, depression and despair; Act particularly angry, lose your temper, and find someone to take revenge; Do some crazy, risky behavior, even self-destructive behavior, regardless of the consequences; Unkempt, no longer pay attention to their appearance; Drinking or taking drugs; Anxiety, irritability, always unable to sleep, waking up early, or always sleepy; Sudden changes in mood, especially those who have been depressed for a long time, suddenly appear very happy (because they may have made a decision to commit suicide); Reduce or stop participating in social activities and stop contacting friends and family; Talking about suicide, even in a joking tone; Give the property around you to others, say goodbye to others and write a will; Buy sleeping pills, pesticides, ropes and other tools that may be used for suicide.

If you see people around you with these words or behaviors, please pay special attention: they may be struggling with suicidal emotions and need your care and help.

adjust

When someone talks about the idea of suicide, you should seriously consider believing what he says, because he may be in trouble, he is signaling for help, and he may be planning to put this idea into action, so you must do something.

(1) How can I help you when I find that people around me are suicidal?

1) Take the initiative to contact each other and ask about their suicidal intentions.

When someone mentions something related to suicide, ask them directly if they are really considering suicide. The way of asking questions must be direct, so as not to be misunderstood as other meanings. In most cases, people who really want to commit suicide will want to talk about it.

2) Listen attentively.

If the other person admits that he wants to commit suicide, then you can listen to the other person's thoughts and feelings. Allow the other party to fully express themselves. You can ask questions to help the other person speak, but don't be too curious, and don't change the subject or talk about your own experience. Listen attentively and patiently, and don't do two things at once. Your listening will ease the other person's mood.

3) Encourage the other person to ask for help.

Don't promise to keep secrets for each other; You shouldn't be the only one who supports and helps ta. Encourage outside help when appropriate; At the same time, you need to contact other people, including professionals, to persuade them to seek help. If the other party insists on refusing the help of people around him, it is necessary to let the right person know the current situation of ta (even if it is disclosed against the wishes of ta). Don't deal with the suicide crisis alone.

In the end, people need more courage to live than to commit suicide. Life always shows us its hard side without hesitation. And when individuals are unsustainable under the grinding of suffering, only the deep connection between people can bind each other's lives together, so that you and I will not be isolated. In the face of death and crisis, we should not become strangers.

(2) What should I do if I feel suicidal?

1) ask for help.

Suicide can control people's thinking ability. You may find it difficult to ask for help and think that no one will listen to you and understand you. Please remember that these are not facts. If others don't know that you need help, their helping hand will also lose its direction. No matter what happens and how desperate you feel, you must ask for help.

We can't predict which resources will be available when we need help; Calling in a crisis is ineffective, which is tantamount to adding insult to injury. But help is still necessary. If you see this, if you have suicidal feelings and thoughts, please insist on asking for help from different people and institutions.

2) Make a safety plan with people you trust.

You know, you don't have to bear all the pain alone. At the beginning of realizing that you are suicidal, you can tell your trusted friends or relatives how you feel. If you find it difficult to talk to people around you, or you are afraid that they are worried, you can also make an appointment with a professional psychological counselor.

Let the other person in this trust relationship become your "informed guardian" and make a safety plan with T A. This plan needs to include, if you feel particularly suicidal, how to contact TA? What measures will you and ta take to help you gradually lift the crisis? Write down this plan and put it where you can see it at ordinary times.

3) If there is no proper safety plan, please call the police or call the emergency number in a crisis situation with strong suicidal feeling.

Fifth, the misunderstanding of suicide

1. Those who say they want to commit suicide just pay attention to blogs and don't really want to die.

This is a very serious fallacy. People who have suicidal thoughts often express their suicidal feelings and thoughts to people around them through some channels. These expressions may be particularly vague for fear of being judged or laughed at. For example, some people will say half jokingly that they want to die, or tentatively put forward the assumption of suicide to people around them. These words are not to attract attention, but to reflect suicidal tendencies.

It is dangerous to talk about suicide. Asking others if they want to commit suicide will encourage ta to commit suicide in disguise.

Asking others if they want to commit suicide will not make people who did not intend to commit suicide want to die, and it will not strengthen ta's suicidal thoughts. On the contrary, talking about suicide can encourage people who have suicidal thoughts to talk to people around them and ask for help. Taking others' remarks about suicide seriously and asking if ta really wants to commit suicide is also expressing concern and concern for ta. For those who have suicidal thoughts, having someone willing to accept their thoughts and listen to their pain may give them more hope to live.

Only people with mental illness will commit suicide, and all suicides are due to depression.

People who want to commit suicide are really desperate, but they are not necessarily mentally ill. According to the data of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 54% of those who committed suicide did not suffer from any known mental illness.

On the other hand, mental patients may not want to end their lives. Suicide tendency is indeed one of the symptoms of depression, but not everyone with depression will want to commit suicide.

People who want to commit suicide are determined to die.

On the contrary, most people who want to commit suicide will struggle and hesitate between life and death. If they can see that the desperate situation they are facing now may be solved, they will not choose to end their lives.

Some people will commit suicide on impulse, such as drinking too much pesticide and then dying in a few days, but they may realize that they really want to live in these days. In the United States, interviews with survivors who tried to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge also found that most people would regret their decision in mid-air.

Suicide is a coward's behavior and a manifestation of selfishness.

This is the shame of suicide. People want to commit suicide, not because they deliberately evade their responsibilities, are not strong enough, or selfishly leave their sadness to the living, but because they can't bear the inner pain. People who commit suicide are often immersed in intense helplessness and despair, which is beyond their capacity and can't think of other ways to alleviate these emotions, so they have the idea of ending their lives.

6. Suicide happened suddenly without any warning.

The reason why there is such a myth is that as bystanders, we can only see the moment when the suicides commit suicide. Of course, there are indeed some suicide cases without warning (especially among teenagers, the proportion of impulsive suicide will be slightly higher). However, most suicides will have suicidal feelings for a period of time before committing suicide, and may also release some help signals to people around them. Knowing and paying attention to these signals will give us a chance to prevent the tragedy from happening.

Six, * * * Love is redemption

There are endless possibilities behind many unpleasant things in life. When you are still maintaining your self-esteem for work, family and life, when you work hard and insist directly. Although tired, these will be noticed sooner or later. When you indulge in underwater, you can still see a glimmer of light. When struggling, you lean out of the water and take a deep breath. Life will eventually make you feel its beauty. Everyone will face a difficult trough, but no one reminds him-if you want to see strong hope, you must first walk through the suffocating darkness, and so is life.

In fact, there is no such thing as empathy. People don't know how painful it is to prick themselves with a needle. We have always been used to judging one thing and one person from the perspective of God. But the saddest thing is that we seem to have lost our innate compassion and tolerance. After all, all beings are suffering, but this grain of sand has not yet fallen on our own heads. A grain of sand is not enough to drown a person, but a grain of sand is a hopeless and suffocating desert. Some specific pain is pain, which will not change with time, can't be said, can't be reconciled and can't be cured.

"* * * love" is a kind of "redemption" for people who are already sensitive and fragile. When a person's inner world "collapses", how much time and courage does he need to rebuild his confidence and support himself to walk again in this world? We can't evaluate suffering and feel pain, but we can try to pity others with our own feelings. This pity is enough to turn into a little sweetness and save others from despair.

Ding guijun

June 65438+1October 65438+May 2020