It's been a month since I broke the precepts last time. That was before the Spring Festival. It didn't take long for me to return to my hometown for the New Year. After returning home, because of the company of my family, my attention was diverted, and my desire to watch porn decreased a lot.
In the blink of an eye, I began to return to Hangzhou on the ninth day. The first few days in Hangzhou were ok, and I signed up for the "Fixed Investment Training Group". I attend classes in groups every day. I am very busy in class, and I don't have those selfish desires. It lasted about a week.
Listening to lectures continuously makes my ears ache (wearing headphones). After listening too much, I can't digest it for a while and want to relax myself. The ease of watching mobile phones. It doesn't matter at first glance. After a while, I was attracted by some information, and it didn't take long for my thoughts to be evoked.
I was able to control it that day, about the third day. At that time, I was too impatient, and finally I couldn't control it, and the defense line was broken. Then I desperately searched for videos and recalled my previous websites. I tried many times, but I couldn't open it, but I didn't give up. This impatience is like taking drugs.
At that time, I also reminded myself that if I can't find it, I won't find it, otherwise I will regret it later. I completely lost my mind at that time, but I tried my best to find it. Sure enough, it was finally discovered, and then it was broken.
In fact, I began to feel guilty the next day. I was thinking about the rules set on my way to work. Should I throw away the money? Give it away, okay?
Think about it later and donate it. It is also a virtue to oneself. In fact, watching pornography is evil. The more you look at the market, the greater the demand, which is conniving at those who make illegal profits.
To tell the truth, I have never donated money, and I don't know how to donate it at the moment. Later, I thought of Alipay, so I searched it. Sure enough.
When I went to donate, I was still willing to give up this 200 yuan, thinking about paying rent, getting a loan, spending money, or hesitating.
After a while, when I finally made up my mind to donate, I found that I could only donate 7 yuan at a time. After this stop, I was even more reluctant to donate and began to find various reasons for myself.
I've been busy at work for a while, but I still feel uneasy. If I don't punish myself, I will feel guilty and uncomfortable. If I can't quit in the future, the rest of my life will really be wasted. I thought of lowering the standard and donated 50 yuan.
I feel much more balanced after donating. I think I will donate 200 yuan next time I break the precepts!
The next night, because the landlord informed me two days ago that the rent would go up, I felt uncomfortable living there anyway, so I took the opportunity to move out.
The house was found soon. In the process of moving, when I saw a woman in revealing clothes, I began to feel uneasy at that time, but I didn't think so much when I moved. When I returned to my new dormitory after work at night, I began to watch the pictures of the day, and it didn't take long to break the rules. What a good mood! ! !
Donated to 50 yuan immediately after breaking the precepts. Not willing to give up 200 yuan (especially worthless! ) On the way to work the next day, I kept thinking about it. Before I quit, I can quit for a long time by reading articles and listening to audio. It's useless now! After reflection, what can I do to get rid of bad habits?
In retrospect, every time I break the rules, I watch my mobile phone alone, especially when I rest at night. After a hard day, I just want to relax and look at my mobile phone. Generally, I will break the rules.
I think mobile phone is my biggest addiction. It's okay during the day, especially at night, and it's the easiest to break the ring around the early morning.
Thinking of this, I realized that I had to stay away from my mobile phone and Huang Yuan!
In order not to be influenced by the mobile phone, I don't take the mobile phone directly after work, but take another mobile phone with no traffic, so I can only watch the time and listen to music!
Today is the third day without a mobile phone. I find that I can think about some long-term facts, such as deducing the sand table of wealth. I bought it for more than a month, but I haven't fully deduced it yet! Just in time to play.
Without a mobile phone, I can go to bed early and get up early, and I can also practice meditation by the way. I practiced for a long time before. The last time I was able to quit color for 500 days, I also relied on the assistance of meditation. I have to practice hard this time!
Self-disciplined people deserve those good things. Now it is not only a fixed investment, but also a healthy fixed investment. Today, it challenges adultery again! ! ! !