In class, students are blindfolded and learn how to build mutual trust and care. Photo courtesy/Hu Deng
From the prohibition of men and women holding hands to the real-name registration of love, the issue of college students' love has been controversial. At the same time, the state and local governments are constantly introducing policies to strengthen the love education for college students. In April this year, the Beijing Municipal Education Commission published the "Psychological Health Teaching Outline for College Students in Beijing (Draft for Comment)", and revised the lecture on "Cultivating Love Psychology and Ability" to "Happiness begins with learning to fall in love". Starting from the emotional problems that college students often encounter, this paper tells the love triangle theory, same-sex love and other contents, and teaches college students to learn to love themselves, express love, accept love, refuse love, maintain love and let go. This outline once caused widespread concern.
The reporter learned that at present, few colleges and universities in Beijing offer special love courses, but put love education in college students' mental health education or growth education, some of which are important and some of which only occupy a small space. The teaching methods of the courses are different, and students' evaluation of related courses is also mixed. So, is it necessary for domestic universities to offer love courses? What should I say in love class and how to say it? What's the effect? It seems to be worth discussing.
Do you still need to study in love?
"Should college students fall in love? I think this is a false proposition. It should be difficult to have a unified standard? In fact, love stories are happening everywhere in universities and even middle schools. Therefore, the real proposition should be how college students fall in love better, so that students can take fewer detours in love and make lovers get along more happily. This is the responsibility of our class. " Hu Deng, director of the Mental Health Education and Counseling Center of Renmin University of China, said that in the general public elective course of mental health, the psychology of love, the thinking differences between men and women, and how to refuse others are all involved.
"Love also needs special courses to learn? Who won't fall in love? " Some college students think that love classes are useless.
But there are also many students who think it is very necessary for college students to receive love education. "Love is a necessary process in life and an indispensable part of college life. The love course is a guide for students who have never been in love, and a kind of experience sharing and knowledge supplement for students who have been in love. " Liu Lifang (not his real name), a senior at the National College of China Renmin University, said: "The case told by the teacher is very enlightening, and it is also very helpful to the problems we encounter in practice (such as quarreling).
Xia Cuicui, a full-time teacher in the Psychological Counseling Center of Beijing Normal University, started offering the public elective course Intimacy and Self-growth in 2007, in which love accounts for more than half. Xia Cuicui said: "College students will encounter all kinds of problems in the process of love. Many students have the need to receive love education, and some students are looking forward to it. I will also enhance the practicality of this course according to the feedback from students over the years. I don't think love courses are necessary, but at least there must be other forms of love education, such as lectures. "
Li Yan, director of Tsinghua University Student Psychological Counseling Center, also thinks: "College students are in a stormy period in their emotional development and will encounter various crises. From the perspective of prevention, love education is undoubtedly necessary. On the other hand, love is closely related to the happiness of life, and it is a lifelong course. As young people, college students should actively respond. " At the same time, Li Yan pointed out that it is not necessary to become a compulsory course in colleges and universities, because not all students have this demand, and it is difficult for colleges and universities to be equipped with enough teachers. However, universities should strengthen education in this field and strive to enable all interested students to choose courses.
How to carry out love education?
About ten years ago, Hu Deng opened the course "Emotional Psychology" in Renmin University of China. "It mainly talks about family, friendship and love, and the content about love accounts for nearly half of the space. Regarding love, I mainly talk about gender differences, psychological phenomena of love, breaking up skills and so on. " The content of this course has not changed much in recent years, but with the development of the times, topics such as online dating and homosexuality have been added. At the same time, Hu Deng has been doing psychological counseling for college students, and many consultations have become teaching cases in the classroom. "It has always been a lot of problems for couples to quarrel and break up."
In Xia Cuicui's class, students in elective courses are divided into different groups, and the content of the class is mainly experience and discussion. For example, let students pretend to be blind and dumb, and the dumb and blind walk together to experience how two people build trust and care for each other.
This year, Li Yan, director of Tsinghua University Student Psychological Counseling Center, plans to invite students to talk about love in his course "Psychological Training and Potential Development for College Students". She's only in charge of organization. Li Yan explained that students have different experiences, feelings, ideas and processes in love, and teachers can only meet the psychological needs of a small number of people; And this course is closely related to life, and everyone can think and express. Students know best what they are most worried about and care about. They should discuss, summarize, inspire and learn from each other. "I think, like other university education, love education should be interactive and exploratory, so that everyone can participate. This has already been achieved abroad, but it is still the direction that universities need to work hard at home. "
Classroom experience one
I don't feel deep, probably because things haven't happened to me yet.
Yang Yicun, a senior in the Department of Education of Beijing Normal University.
I took the course Intimacy and Self-growth in the last semester of my sophomore year. There are not many class hours, and it will be finished in about half a semester. Besides love, there are some contents about how to communicate with people, the main purpose of which is how to get along with people better.
In the first class, all the students are divided into different groups, each group is about 10. In almost every class, the teacher will tell some cases, such as couples quarreling. Then let the students discuss, and finally the teacher will analyze the solution. Generally speaking, teachers don't have much time to teach, and everyone discusses a lot and the atmosphere is very active. Most students are very serious in class, but some students are embarrassed to discuss some topics.
At first, I took this course just to get credit. After taking this course, I found that this course is not necessary for me personally. I know a lot about what I said. Of course, I may only know a rough idea, but it is not systematic and somewhat simple. I think this course is mainly to convey an optimistic attitude and a positive way to deal with problems. At that time, I had a friend who didn't get along well with her lover, so I thought it would be helpful for her to come to this class. Maybe it's because these things didn't happen to me, so I don't have much feeling about what I said.
At the end of the course, each group made a collective report. What our group does is the way to express love in film and television dramas, and some groups do the sentences to express love in poems. Finally, everyone wrote a short article about their growth experience and experience. These are also the assessment methods of this course.
Classroom experience 2
The course content is close to life and very practical.
Chen is a junior in Mathematics Department of China Renmin University.
The course "Emotional Psychology" is very popular, and many students take part in each class. I think this is mainly because the content of this course is very close to life and practical, especially love is a very common topic in universities. Teacher Hu Deng did not simply introduce knowledge in this class, but told stories with his own experiences and cases when accepting students' psychological counseling. The teaching method is very casual, flexible and vivid, and there are many interactions with his classmates, which can mobilize the atmosphere and finally dispel the doubts of classmates' love.
Once, Mr. Hu told a story in class: One day, Mr. Hu's teaching assistant found Mr. Hu and said that his high school girlfriend wanted to have dinner with him at noon, but he couldn't make it clear to his current girlfriend, so he lied that he would have dinner with Mr. Hu at noon and wanted to ask Mr. Hu for a favor. Teacher Hu agreed. But later, the girlfriend of the male teaching assistant was very skeptical about this, so she asked the male teaching assistant what he ate at noon that afternoon, and the male teaching assistant said the food he ate. Who knows that two years later, the girlfriend of the male teaching assistant asked the male teaching assistant what he had with Mr. Hu at noon that day, which confused the male teaching assistant and he forgot about it himself. The girlfriend of the male teaching assistant is very angry.
Teacher Hu explained in class that this story shows that the girl has a very good memory and a very careful heart. She may test you with clues from the past. Then Mr. Hu said with a smile, in order to avoid the trouble after lying (white lies, of course), you can make up a name that is homophonic with your ex-girlfriend's name to remind yourself.
Some students will say that this course teaches love, because the teacher will talk about how boys pursue girls, how couples make up after quarreling, and so on. You can say anything in this class, and teachers are never afraid to analyze themselves in class.
■ point of view
There is still a gap in the openness of love education.
Ye Bin, registered tutor, general supervisor of Shanghai Linzi Psychological Institution.
If "necessary" is understood as no, it is hard to say whether it is necessary to carry out college students' love education, because in universities, especially comprehensive universities, students' majors and regions are very different. Some people may know a lot about love, while others may know nothing about it. Some people may only know the conclusion, while others may know the ins and outs of a phenomenon. But I think if the class is well taught, it will definitely be welcomed by college students, because in the past, our family education and school education rarely involved interpersonal communication, let alone heterosexual relations. Even when it comes to related content, the speaker may not know the psychological principle behind it.
Others may say that the love class teaches students some love skills and will not defile the purity of love. I think emotion and skill are very important for love. Sometimes, when you are in love, you will miss someone who has no skills. For example, some boys flinch after being rejected by girls, and they can't see that girls are just reserved; However, some boys still cling to him after being rejected. In fact, girls are not interested in him at all, which can only make people more disgusted. These are all because I don't understand the girl's psychology and her writing.
In fact, the current college students' love education is as inadequate as sex education, and the level of love education is also uneven. At present, knowledge is updated quickly. If love education remains at the past level, many students will only learn relevant knowledge from other channels, some can't get it, and some have misunderstood it. At present, there is a great controversy about love education in China, and many colleges and universities think that it is better to have more than one thing, so it is worth paying attention to how much love education colleges and universities can teach. Judging from the openness of the content, we do have a certain gap with European and American countries.
"Love alone is not enough"
● Anna, the life education course teacher of China Red Cross Sunshine Project.
Life education curriculum was first founded in Hungary, and then it was widely developed in Europe. Our country was introduced in 2005, initially in the form of lectures, and later became a public elective course in colleges and universities. There are many colleges and universities in Beijing now.
This course is mainly to help students understand themselves and their lives. According to the order of lectures, it is divided into four themes: self-management, self-understanding, my relationship with others and my relationship with the opposite sex. The themes of my relationship with the opposite sex include love, sex, marriage and so on. For the students of this course, this last part may be the most attractive, but for the teachers, this part will not be too prominent.
As far as I know, some people choose this course just because it is bilingual, but I'm sure some people think this course is very helpful, at least it can stimulate them to think about some problems. Nowadays, many college students have some beautiful fantasies about love by reading novels and watching movies, and only see the beautiful part of love. Our education is to make college students realize that love is also a responsibility. We also hope that college students can realize that love alone is not enough. The success and happiness of life depend on intellectual stimulation, emotional health, physical health, satisfactory role, social effectiveness and spiritual journey. We hope that college students can become comprehensive, balanced and healthy people in these aspects.
Love education in Britain adopts various strategies to overcome anxiety and embarrassment.
In 2000, Britain promulgated the national standard of "sex and love" education. In this standard, not only the detailed relevant education policies are defined, but also the specific requirements and various teaching strategies of sex and love education in schools are put forward.
These strategies mainly include: first, establish basic teaching principles, such as avoiding personal problems, not forcing to participate in discussions, and correctly using the names of various parts of the body. This can create a safe environment for sex and love teaching and avoid embarrassing accidents and problems. Second, using remote technology, such as online question and answer, role-playing, case analysis, video teaching, etc. It can avoid embarrassing situations, protect students' privacy, help students discuss sensitive topics in a safe environment and learn to make correct decisions. Third, establish standards suitable for problems and learn to deal with unexpected problems. For example, if the problem is too personal, teachers should remind students to pay attention to the teaching guide or solve it individually later; If the teacher can't answer some questions, just be honest with each other and then answer them; If the question is too simple for the whole class to answer, the teacher should answer it alone after class. Fourth, encourage students to discuss and participate in project learning. This can effectively promote the teaching of sex and love, and students who participate in it can understand new teaching content according to their previous knowledge, practice various skills, feed back what they have learned and shape their future behavior. Fifth, provide feedback. Sex and love teaching includes teacher feedback, student self-feedback and peer feedback.