Similarly, as parents, we will begin to become anxious.
So what should we do?
According to the age and grade of the child, the specific methods will be different. Here, let's talk about the general way.
First of all, as parents, we need to find out the fact that whose problem caused the "school panic"? Obviously, it is the child's problem, that is, the child has his own troubles. At this time, parents should calm down and keep their emotions calm and objective;
Third, understand the child's thoughts. How to know what children really think? The best way is to "listen". In the process of listening, slowly guide children to express their true thoughts and needs.
Fourth, how to do it (key part).
1. Choose a suitable situation, such as a situation where the child is calm, you are calm, both sides have plenty of time and the environment is suitable;
2. Talk to your child and listen to his real thoughts and needs. (Note: Listen more and talk less, and try not to express your opinions before your child opens his heart);
For example, you can say, "I notice that you have eaten less recently than before." Do you want to tell me what happened? " Or "I'm worried when I see that you can't sleep well at night. Are you a little nervous because school is about to start? " .
If the child does not respond positively, such as "okay", "nothing" or not talking. You can say, "Don't you want to talk to me now? It doesn't matter. You can come to me when you want to talk. I am also worried when I see that you are unhappy. I really want to hear your thoughts. " Don't force the child to talk, walk away silently and give him space.
If the child responds, use heuristic questions to encourage him to tell his troubles. For example, "Can you tell me what makes you anxious?"
In this process, we should have firm eyes, treat children with a gentle attitude and encourage them to speak out.
Then help the child come up with a solution. Remember, this is "helping" rather than replacing children to find solutions.
Fifth, don't judge.
Children may not want to go to school because they don't like a teacher or classmate in the class; It may also be that I feel free in summer vacation and don't want to go back to school to be bound; Maybe he didn't finish his homework and was worried about being punished.
When a child says something that bothers him, don't make wild comments. "What do you like about teachers? Just listen to his lectures. " "If you want to go to school and be free, how can there be so many good things?" "What did you do earlier? I asked you to do your homework earlier, but you didn't write it. Now you can't catch it! " Like this, it won't solve any problems, it will only push the child further and further.
Of course, children's age and school environment are different, so we can't generalize. It is necessary to help children in a targeted manner and believe in their own ability to solve problems. Sometimes, even without solving the problem, children feel comfortable telling their troubles.
The cause of school phobia can be clearly stated in three words, that is, it is not suitable! You can find the reasons and solve the problems from the following six aspects!
Most students have completely different schedules at school and holidays, and their schedules at school are still very regular. Holidays are easy to indulge themselves, which leads to a sudden change in work and rest at the beginning of school and a series of psychological and physiological reactions.
Solution:
Do it according to the school timetable in advance, and try to adjust your schedule five or three days before the start of school, close to the school schedule.
Everyone has experienced nearly two months of summer vacation, and the holiday must have experienced many things, many beautiful moments and many beautiful memories. Life at the beginning of school easily reminds us of good memories of holidays, so we will reject the school life of 3. 1.
Solution:
You can find a time to make a summary of the beautiful moments such as holiday travel and play.
Through this memory, summarize and share, draw a perfect full stop for the whole holiday and remind yourself to stop!
Because I haven't been in school for a long time, my connection with the school has become very weak, so it takes time to accept the school system when I start school. If the link is bad, I will be prone to school phobia!
Solution:
Go to school two or three days in advance to feel the school environment in advance.
You can communicate with your close classmates and friends by phone, such as asking how your summer vacation is, how to go to school, whether to go with your peers, and so on.
Connect yourself with people, events and occasions in advance after school starts.
For example, if you have a part-time job in the summer vacation, you will be separated from your part-time colleagues after school starts!
At this time, we have a strong connection with the social system and family system, so we are inseparable and reluctant to leave!
Solution:
Have dinner with your family or part-time colleagues before school starts and say goodbye!
Just like when I was a child, I had to visit my grandparents, grandparents, uncles and aunts before school started, say goodbye and tell them that I was going to school, so fewer people would come later!
Having such a farewell can reduce many obstacles and free up more energy and energy to look forward to the school system!
Life needs a sense of ceremony, entering a higher school needs a sense of ceremony, and schools also need a sense of ceremony. Without a sense of ceremony, we will lose our expectations and feelings for the start of school!
Solution:
The solution here is simple. We can buy a cake, a new suit, or a bike and so on. Let's have a small ceremony at the beginning of school, and we will look forward to it even more!
School will start soon. If we don't make a good plan for the new semester, we will feel confused, lack yearning and lack the strength to go to school.
Not seeing the future is terrible for anyone.
Solution:
Setting goals and plans for the new semester is full of yearning and expectation for the new semester, and running with this expectation and this yearning. Our life will be more active in the new semester!
Fear of starting a school has a great impact on one's physiology and psychology, such as nausea, fatigue, drowsiness, psychological anxiety, panic, memory loss and even confrontation with parents! So everyone should pay attention to the phobia of starting school and overcome it! Let's go to school happily!
Let's talk about fear first.
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Baidu's explanation is that fear refers to a strongly repressed emotional experience that people try to get rid of but can't do anything when facing dangerous situations.
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We try to understand what it means for some children to start school. Dangerous situation, want to get rid of, but feel powerless and depressed. If faced with the same situation, not only children but also adults will feel fear. Do some adults also have long vacation syndrome after a short vacation? In the same way.
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We don't want to go back to work, or go back to work after a long vacation with a heavy heart. The obvious feeling is the comparison between the state during the holiday and the state at work.
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During the holiday, I am relaxed, stress-free and carefree. I can do what I like and choose to meet or not meet some people.
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After work, you should meet your boss, colleagues you don't like, do things you don't like arranged by your boss and your unit, and even work until night or midnight. Unapproved works are required to be revised repeatedly, which is completely out of touch with Party A's ideas and requirements. Working long hours, physical fatigue, depression, involuntarily. This state is not what we want.
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It is not easy for children to go to school. Every day, we have to face the study of new knowledge, exams, various feedbacks from teachers, and even comparisons and criticisms. Every day, they get up early and go to bed late. The communication between classmates is not all pleasant and friendly, but there are also infighting. They form small groups, and their test scores are not satisfactory every time, so their parents' reactions must be considered. This kind of study life is not what children are willing to face.
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There are also some children who regard returning to school as the beginning of a new journey, as a space to realize their ideals and goals, and as a stage to show themselves. For these children, perhaps the experience of returning to school is more excitement and expectation.
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How did the difference between these two concepts come about?
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If children regard the experience in school as exercise, learn knowledge, exercise ability and make quality friends, it will become a tempering and springboard before entering the society; Feel your growth in every challenge, even if you fail, it is only a feedback on your own shortcomings and areas that need improvement.
Facing difficulties actively, improving ourselves and meeting challenges is a kind of growth thinking.
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If children regard school as a fortress for teachers to force them to finish their studies and fulfill their wishes for their parents, and regard their daily homework as a mechanical task, they repeatedly find themselves a frustrated place, and interpersonal communication is a place of comparison and decisive victory. Going to school is really a torture.
There is no motivation to study hard and solve problems actively. If you fail, don't look for your own reasons and seek improvement methods. This is a fixed thinking.
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Helping children find the reasons why they are afraid to start school, giving them support and affirmation, getting rid of fixed thinking and shaping growth thinking can help children walk more smoothly, be more powerful and be happier on the road of learning.
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For some people, starting school is like suddenly chasing a hungry lion behind you, which makes you have a strong "fight or flight" reaction. Facing the beginning of school, some students may feel depressed, flustered, lose their temper for no reason, feel tired, lose concentration, headache and insomnia. You may need to see if you are too crazy during the holiday.
For the beginning of school, some students' pressure may come from not finishing their holiday tasks in time, some students may not want to go to school because of the pressure of interpersonal communication, some students may be anxious because they are separated from their parents, or they may be bullied at school. Basically, most students may not be too happy to start school. Some students are used to staying up late during holidays and playing computer games with their mobile phones every day. As soon as the school starts, it faces the strict schedule of the school and the strict management of the teachers, and faces the change from the family environment to the school environment. School-starting syndrome is very common, but timely adjustment can quickly adapt to school life. .
Besides unwilling to give up relatives and friends and comfortable environment, there is another important factor-psychological resilience. Psychological resilience is an individual's resilience in the face of life pressure and setbacks, which can promote the positive development of individual mental health and block unhealthy psychological diseases and behavioral problems to some extent. The level of psychological resilience determines the coping ability and adaptation results of college students in the stress situation after the start of school-the higher the individual's psychological resilience level, the better the adaptation performance, and the easier it is to experience positive emotions.
Therefore, improving psychological resilience is an effective way to cope with school phobia. To improve psychological resilience, we can try the following methods: cultivate positive resilience, and positive psychology emphasizes people's potential stimulation and self-transcendence when dealing with unfavorable situations. As college students, they can actively participate in group activities such as quality development training and adversity imagination to cultivate positive resilience characteristics. In life, remember to use positive beliefs to guide your actions and regard unfavorable situations as opportunities to promote your growth.
You can also establish good external support. Compared with the internal factors of individual psychological resilience characteristics, external support from family, school and social groups is also a force to promote the realization of individual resilience potential. Affirmation, care, understanding and companionship from others can cushion the unfavorable emotions after suffering adversity and promote better adaptation.
I'm glad to answer your question. I'm afraid of the unknown, not the beginning of school!
abstract
Phobia is a neurosis characterized by fear symptoms. This kind of people will have unnecessary fear, even rejection and other emotions to certain specific objects or certain environments, and they will also have obvious anxiety, and patients can't control their fears. Simply put, phobia is knowing that your fears are unreasonable, but you can't control your fears. People will be afraid of the unknown, but they are either afraid of the unknown or have phobias. Fear of the unknown is a psychological reaction.
Steps/methods:
1 first of all, people will be afraid of the unknown, because fear itself is unknown, and the unknown will make them feel at a loss, and they will be afraid when they encounter problems. It's simple. If a person has never seen a snake, he is undoubtedly afraid of snakes, because he doesn't know what to do when he meets a snake, so he will be afraid of the unknown.
Secondly, when a person encounters something unknown, he will look for something similar in his memory. If he can find it, he will handle it in the same way. However, if he can't find something similar, he will feel afraid and don't know what to do, so he will be afraid.
Finally, we will be afraid of the unknown, perhaps influenced by others. If we haven't encountered this kind of thing ourselves, others have, but others can't beat it, we will say that this kind of thing is very powerful. Under this influence, we will naturally be afraid of such things, but such things are unknown.
Matters needing attention
Fear itself is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you can't overcome your fears, and then let this unreasonable fear continue to spread and accumulate for a long time. You can't overcome this fear. Human genes are very powerful. The key is to strengthen this belief.
Haha, school phobia, that's a word. It's normal that you have a phobia of starting school. My baby has it, too. I hope my analysis and methods to relieve phobia can help you.
Recently, I heard that the children of senior three in Shanghai officially started school on April 27th.
The news delighted parents. The beast finally came out of the mountain.
But my third grade baby doesn't want to start school.
Why do you have school phobia? I specifically asked my junior high school children.
What does it mean to start school? At present, starting school means wearing a mask all the time, which is necessary for safety;
Starting school means that you can't go to school with a 10-kilogram schoolbag every day and enjoy every meal leisurely like a gentleman;
The beginning of school means that it is said that on the day of admission, children in grade three will take the second model test. Alas, this pressure is so great!
To tell the truth, it is not a big problem to wear a mask all day long; What you eat at noon is not as delicious as at home, so you are not afraid. There will be an exam as soon as you enter the school gate. My baby is scared. My child is not ready. So this is the root of school phobia.
what can I do? I can't go if it's a big deal. I took the senior high school entrance examination directly. I tentatively asked Po, no, no,no. Po's head shook like a rattle.
Professor Cao Yuping from the Institute of Mental Health of Central South University suggested that parents should pay attention to their children's emotions and help them return to the classroom healthily.
Well, parents have to find ways to give their children some psychological counseling. Your children know for themselves. Before giving psychological counseling to children, think about what they have done well, what they have not done well and what they need to improve in their life at home and in online classrooms.
After thinking, I think that to alleviate the phobia of starting school, we need to do the following:
1, adjust the schedule, and gradually tend to be regular.
The days of online classes at home are more or less slack than those at school, especially the time control.
From the second day after the resumption of classes, parents should subconsciously assist their children to study and live according to the school schedule. Of course, as parents, we should set an example. Get up on time, prepare breakfast and other matters.
2, learn to reflect, do a good job of leak detection.
Guide children to make an evaluation of their recent online classes and homework to see which courses, parts and knowledge points they lack. Take advantage of leaving school for ten days, and do a good job of filling vacancies.
3. Make material and psychological preparations for entering school smoothly.
Parents and children discuss with each other and write down the materials that need to be prepared for school on draft paper. For example, school supplies, such as epidemic prevention substances, masks, wet tissues and so on. The more prepared you are, the more sure you will be.
Take care of your child's personal hygiene, get a haircut and rest by yourself.
In addition, you can talk to your child about the recent epidemic situation at home and abroad, and tell your child to take precautions and relax.
4. The whole family prepares a sumptuous dinner, which makes the beginning of school full of ceremony.
The whole family prepares dinner together and cooks some dishes that children like.
A word of blessing from the family.
Parents show their support for their children's study.
Let children feel that family is his strong backing.
5. Call teachers or classmates.
Establish contact with teachers and classmates by telephone. I haven't seen you for many days, and teachers and students are inevitably a little rusty. There is a greeting to each other, which is a good way to integrate into the group. In my opinion, it is also a good way to eliminate the phobia of starting school.
As a parent with a third-grade baby, I want to eliminate my child's phobia of starting school through the above five methods.
If you also have good ideas, remember to leave your valuable methods in the comments area and share them with everyone. Thank you!
Personally, I think that I am afraid of starting school because my children are too relaxed during the holidays, and they may have unfinished homework. They make up their homework in a hurry near the end of the holidays, and they are afraid of starting school teachers' criticism, which forms a fear of starting school!
For younger children, because they don't have good self-control, parents can help them make a good study plan, finish some homework every day, pay attention to the combination of work and rest, and have hobbies. Slowly, children will arrange their time reasonably every day! In this way, the holiday homework will be easily completed, and there will be no fear of starting school!
Two primary school students in my family finished their homework easily in the summer vacation, attended interest classes every day and previewed all the second-grade courses. They can't wait to start school and look forward to sharing their holiday experiences with their classmates!
If you have school phobia, you should generally be a student. Teachers generally have no school phobia.
If you are a student, you must not study hard, so you will have school phobia. Everyone has his own advantages and advantages. You should find your own strengths. If you are a junior high school or a senior high school student, you should think about your preferences and what major you like. You have to work for the rest of your life, so you must choose the right one and choose what you like. If you are still a pupil, you can think again in a few years. I suggest you find a relatively good subject to study. If you do well in one subject, you will have confidence in your study. Then you will gradually find that learning well is not so far away and difficult to achieve.
Don't be afraid, because you will find that your emotions will have a great influence on yourself. If you still find it difficult to overcome, you might as well communicate with your parents. Maybe you think your parents will talk about you, but if you communicate with them boldly, you will find that your parents are not so unreasonable, because they have been experiencing it ever since. You should also be considerate of them. Talk to your parents, teachers and classmates more. You can talk to them, which will definitely help you.
Ignorance is fearless, don't be afraid. Young man, show your sword. Winning or losing is common in military strategists. Dare to challenge!