The truly outstanding children are not academically excellent, have a wide range of interests, like public welfare, and have an optimistic personality. These are just a person's external manifestations. True Excellence is a part of children's hearts that we can't see.
For example, a child is doing well in school. What supports him to study well?
Some children are very dependent on their parents, and they do whatever their parents tell them to do, because they are afraid that they will not love them without being parents, so this kind of learning is for their parents.
Such children will feel confused when they grow up and don't know what kind of life they want. If you find your real interest, you will be afraid to pursue it because you are worried about your parents' attitude, and you are often in a state of self-denial. This Dr. Tsinghua should belong to this type.
Some children hate their parents and want to run away from them, so they study hard, hoping to stay away from their parents and not be influenced by them in the future.
Such children may be very successful when they grow up, but deep down they still long for their parents' approval, just like Su Like Mingyu in the TV series, who competes with herself all day.
Some parents are very strict, and children are genuinely afraid of their parents. They study hard to make their parents happy and stop blaming and criticizing their parents. The children who committed suicide in Jinan University some time ago belong to this type.
Some children's sense of value and self-confidence are completely based on good study and recognition and affirmation from teachers, classmates and parents. When their grades drop or they face children who are better than themselves, they will be hit and begin to deny themselves, and they will never recover. Guo Heng, a female student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in China, belongs to this category. She committed suicide because she found herself ordinary.
Some children feel guilty about their parents' efforts and think that their parents have done too much for themselves. In order to repay their parents, they will have great pressure in their hearts. When the pressure accumulates to a certain extent, children will lose control when they can't bear it. Zhang Yide, a gifted student who committed suicide some time ago, is probably such a child.
There are also some children who pin some inappropriate wishes on their studies. For example, they think they can get ahead by studying hard, find a job they like or have a good income, and so on. Then when they find these goals difficult to achieve, they will be disappointed and give up their studies. Some children admitted to prestigious schools have heard that it is difficult to find jobs after graduation from prestigious schools, and extreme cases have occurred from time to time.
There are other types. In short, children have not established a sense of self-worth, separated "me" from their parents or established a correct understanding of learning.
Su Like Mingyu, a child forcibly separated from his parents, is like a plant without roots and will eventually be malnourished; Children who take on many parental responsibilities, like many burdens tied to their branches and leaves, will eventually be deformed or even dragged down; Children who have a wrong understanding of learning are like spraying plants with the wrong nutrients. It looked good at first, but it didn't bear fruit in the end.
Then we identify with other advantages, such as broad interests, love of public welfare, optimistic personality and so on. , all the same. What are the reasons behind these advantages? If the reason is wrong, then these advantages, no matter how good, are temporary.
I remember reading an article about a foreign girl who had excellent academic performance, was optimistic and generous, loved public welfare and had a wide range of interests, but suddenly committed suicide. Finally, after police investigation, she found that the child was depressed.
Now there are more and more such children, because we only see the surface, but we don't see the light outside the children, which has long been riddled with holes and overwhelmed.
Therefore, whether a child is excellent or not depends on whether the child's inner foundation is solid. What is the feeling behind his performance of studying hard and making progress? Is it happy, cheerful, satisfied or angry, wronged and helpless?
What's his opinion? Either I must study hard, or my mother is not happy that the teacher doesn't like me, or I am a child who loves learning. Learning is really interesting.
What are his expectations? I hope I can study hard, my parents love me and agree with me, my teacher praises me, I hope to find a good job, or I hope to master this knowledge, I hope I can make a little progress than yesterday, and I hope I can become a useful person to society.
What is his wish? Do you long for love, recognition, affirmation or a sense of value and meaning?
What's his ego like? He thinks he is poor and nothing is good. I am cute except studying well. Although I don't study well, I have my value.
Only when a child knows what he wants, what kind of life he wants, that he can, that I can, that no matter how hard the pain is, it is temporary, that he will not give up or escape when encountering difficulties, that he will be optimistic in the face of setbacks, and that he has the ability of self-discipline, self-regulation and self-motivation can he live a unique life experience full of uncertainty.
Just like Li, the former champion of Beijing college entrance examination, was ridiculed by the whole network after being rejected by the famous American 1 1 school. Finally, with my own strength, I was admitted to the American Hemp Rope Institute of Technology after studying at the University of Hong Kong for one year. Now I have become a doctor of medicine at Hopkins College and live the life I want.
Of course, life is an experience, and Excellence in learning is just an Excellence. Don't admit defeat, don't be afraid of losing, get up after falling, don't follow blindly, don't keep up with the joneses, and move towards the goal you want, which is the real Excellence.