Text/peace
People are always lonely when traveling!
As existential psychology thinks, people are doomed to loneliness, which is one of the final forms that cannot be changed.
Therefore, in the short journey of life, we are all lonely walkers, just like "passers-by" written by Lu Xun. But sometimes, you want to be alone, watching the blue sky move clouds, watching birds jump and watching pedestrians shuttle.
People are naturally eager for group life and seek a sense of security in the group, which makes you suddenly feel lonely like a dark cloud, like losing contact with the outside world and experiencing a strong sense of loneliness, and you want to get rid of it as soon as possible.
So I turned up the volume of the TV, or kept brushing the screen to see my circle of friends, or invited three or five friends to have tea, eat and play cards. It seems to have established a connection with the world and found a sense of existence.
Why do some people feel lonely when they stay alone for one night, and some people feel happy and full when they stay alone for a long time? Maybe the meaning of loneliness is different for different people.
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We are afraid of loneliness, so we all want to stay away from the loneliness that makes people feel sad and silent, and we don't want to experience the helplessness that makes people feel more negative, self-blaming and sad.
Indeed, long-term loneliness can make people desperate and even depressed, so we all try to avoid it.
According to the loneliness report of Psychological Science Outlook 20 15, people who are isolated, lonely or living alone are about 30% more likely to die during the study period than those who have a "normal social life".
With the popularity of instant social tools such as WeChat and QQ, and the emergence of artificial intelligence and virtual reality, our world is becoming more and more diversified, and it seems that we are no longer lonely when we are busy.
But an obvious paradox that we don't realize is that it is social media that helps us get in touch with others. Although the communication between people has become more convenient than ever, the real connection between people is constantly pulling away, which makes us separate, even split.
Loneliness makes people feel powerless, painful and even suicidal, but why do many people long for loneliness, experience loneliness, taste loneliness and walk with loneliness?
Because there is no such feeling as pure negative and worthless. Behind the moment is the emotional experience of negative emotions such as pain, injustice and anger, which often has its necessity and value.
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"Loneliness is a normal and healthy mental state-if the degree is appropriate. It marks a person's maturity. It makes people less blind. It gives people a quiet life and protects their physical and mental health in the hustle and bustle of life. " This is what Cao Wenxuan said in On Loneliness.
Indeed, loneliness makes us calm down, think about human feelings, and be sincere in life. Loneliness allows us to sort out the messy context and understand the essence of life.
Some loneliness is actually an inevitable element in our growth process. If we want to grow up, we have to go hand in hand with these loneliness.
After experiencing loneliness and overcoming loneliness, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that loneliness makes life more fascinating, enables you to learn to think actively and deeply, improves your insight, better looks at others and society, and improves your ability to control reality.
For me, it is this loneliness that makes me bid farewell to yesterday's shallowness and naivety and reach a new realm of life; It is this loneliness that makes me constantly understand, have a profound understanding of society and life and have a rational control. The most important thing is that loneliness makes us believe that our life belongs to us.
University of Chicago professor Stephanie? Cacioppo and her husband John used electronic neuroimaging technology to test a small number of subjects, and found that those who claimed to be particularly lonely responded to dangerous stimulus pictures more than twice as fast as those who claimed not to be lonely.
Lonely people react about 1 16 milliseconds after being stimulated, and people who are not lonely react about 252 milliseconds after being stimulated.
Through the above reaction speed, it can be proved that lonely people are more concerned about the suffering of others (mainly subconsciously). This fact means that lonely people have more empathy. It is because of loneliness that people can better understand others and their society.
The most creative and attractive people are often quite lonely. Baltimore John? Sharon, an assistant professor at Hopkins University? h？ Kim recently found evidence that people tend to be more creative when they are excluded from society.
Nancy, a neuroscientist at the University of Iowa, USA? Andresen pointed out that generally speaking, the only way to gain creativity, leadership and new ways of thinking is to experience loneliness.
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Loneliness is the purity of a clear spring and the rebirth of a seed. Loneliness calms the mind, strengthens life and enhances the instinct of survival. People who have experienced loneliness and overcome loneliness will become stronger.
Great people are lonely, standing on the top of life in snowy areas, accompanied by white clouds and Leng Yue; Successful people are often lonely, and the loneliness in their hearts is like smoke. Most pure people are lonely, and that kind of cleanliness that the world can't tolerate, like ice and snow on a cold plum, coldly radiates its clear light.
People who have experienced painful and important loneliness are often more empathetic, not only thinking for themselves, but also willing to communicate and cooperate effectively with others.
People who feel lonely will seek better ways to keep themselves under external pressure (industrialization, mechanized society or complicated and painful interpersonal relationships), otherwise they will lose themselves.
If we don't want to risk being lonely, but just cater to others, what will we become? We will lose ourselves, and the loss of self-awareness is certainly more disturbing than the risks, pains and adverse consequences brought by loneliness.
If we are no longer ourselves, who are we?
People are afraid of loneliness and others say they are withdrawn. As a result, most people choose to follow suit blindly, in order to prove that they are as gregarious and popular as the people around them.
And we often ignore that successful people are often accompanied by loneliness, not because they don't need companions, but because we slack off and fall behind in the long-distance running of life, but they never stop running.
Sometimes, we forget that it is more important to be kind to loneliness and improve ourselves than to complain about the environment and cater to others.
Those who stand out from the crowd, those who are different, are always lonely and unsociable to most people, but lonely people often have their own advantages.
I can't forget the days when I first started working in a mountain middle school. Preparing lessons and correcting homework in class, everyone gets together to play cards, drink and brag and complain. The three teachers who came two or three years earlier than me are obviously not on the same channel as most teachers. They are very opinionated, elegant and withdrawn, but they are very kind to my little brother from other provinces.
The three big brothers are always holding words on the back of English books and burning the midnight oil to review for the postgraduate entrance examination. In that environment surrounded by mountains, I occasionally heard a dog barking at night and heard my silent breathing. I was really moved, felt lonely, insisted on myself, and learned to read and write to improve myself.
With the passage of time, the three guys have been admitted to the graduate students of 2 1 1 universities in China, during which we visited them several times, either doing experiments in the laboratory alone or eating the original English monograph.
Besides studying and writing in Shanzhong school for three years, I have published many articles in many domestic journals. After changing schools, I gradually began to stay away from loneliness, then I was busy with the so-called circle, and then I was mediocre now.
They strive to improve themselves in loneliness, and time has painted traces of their efforts on them!
Ten years later, one of them has become a professor and tutor of master students in a famous 2 1 1 university, one is the chief scientist of China, China Institute of Atomic Energy, and the other is the legal adviser and senior economist of a fortune 500 group company.
Surprised, I think more about their proud attitude in loneliness, their silent struggle in loneliness and suffering, and their fighting spirit to accompany loneliness in impetuous noise.
It suddenly dawned on me that they looked lonely, but they were not lonely inside. They have their own world in their hearts and know what kind of life they should pursue. So they think quietly, accumulate silently, and have been working hard to move towards it.
And ordinary people like me are really lonely.
From them, I understand that not experiencing loneliness, not being able to bear loneliness, not being able to overcome loneliness, not being able to mature in loneliness, blindly following the trend or drifting with the tide are all the beginning of depravity and mediocrity.
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Wang Guozhen, a famous poet in the last century, wrote in his loneliness:
Pursuit requires thinking.
Thinking needs loneliness.
Sometimes, a sad figure
It is a kind of prosperity.
Instead of drying up
two people
Or it could be pain.
one person
It can also be happiness
When you come out of loneliness
The road unfolds before your eyes.
Yes, loneliness is a state of mind, quiet, distant, subtle and subtle. As high as the sky, as clear as a cloud.
Lonely people are not lonely. It's too light for anyone to hear, except my partner, Mingyue. Loneliness is closer to soul and nature. Let the soul be integrated with nature and forget both.
Loneliness makes people clear and purifies people's hearts. It can help you find your true self, stimulate your potential, interpret a wonderful life and make the incomplete life more perfect. Achievement in loneliness, promotion in loneliness, life will be better. Quiet nights, sad music, unique feelings and rich life connotations all need to be filled by one person in loneliness. Lonely life is often more mature, steady, more connotation and charm.
Loneliness can make people explore inward and make valuable reflections. Turn every part of yourself to your heart, so that you can feel everything, and you will find that there is almost unlimited hope for life outside your body.
If you don't want to face loneliness, you give up your freedom.
Not being alone makes people feel comfortable. But the sacred things in you are moving away from you.
Experienced profound loneliness, let loneliness integrate into life, purify the soul and sublimate the mind. In the ups and downs of the sea, leave yourself a blank and a lonely cloud.
Loneliness is a kind of happiness, a kind of enjoyment and a beautiful state of mind.
Learn to create in loneliness and have more lonely happiness; If you have everything in loneliness, you will feel that you are not lonely at all. People who can truly be lonely are the happiest people in the world.
In this way, you will feel unprecedented peace, integrity and maturity.