So what is emotional intelligence? What's the difference between it and IQ?
Emotional quotient (EQ) usually refers to emotional quotient, or EQ for short, which mainly refers to people's qualities in emotion, will and frustration tolerance, including quotient (LQ). Generally speaking, there is no obvious innate difference in EQ between people, and it is more closely related to the cultivation of the day after tomorrow. It is a concept corresponding to IQ put forward by psychologists in recent years. Defined from the simplest level, improving emotional intelligence is to change the part that can't control emotions into the part that can control emotions, thus enhancing the ability to understand others and get along with others.
IQ IQ is controlled by genetics and cannot be artificially changed. Due to congenital factors, people's intellectual development will be different. To measure people's intellectual development level at this age through a series of standard tests, it must be combined with mental IQ (SQ). It is the ability of people to know objective things and use knowledge to solve practical problems. Intelligence is manifested in many aspects, such as observation, memory, imagination, creativity, analytical judgment, thinking, adaptability, reasoning and so on. , including quotient (CQ). At present, intelligence consists of three abilities: short-term memory ability, reasoning ability and language ability.
? IQ refers to the ability to master inclusive knowledge and skills, while EQ refers to the ability to use knowledge through association.
Why should we cultivate high emotional intelligence?
? In today's life, people are faced with fast-paced life, high-load work and complicated interpersonal relationships. Without high emotional intelligence, it is difficult to succeed. Emotional quotient (EQ) will affect the exertion of IQ. People with high emotional intelligence like to associate with him and always get the support and support of many people. At the same time, interpersonal relationship is also an important resource in life, and good interpersonal relationship can often get more chances of success. A person with high emotional intelligence not only lives happily and vigorously every day, but also brings positive and healthy influence to others. Who doesn't want to be friends with a person full of positive energy? High EQ means being a person, being good at communication and public relations. Such people tend to have a larger circle of friends and more prominent leadership skills. They are often able to respond with one voice and get the support of most people. Of course, we all know that today's society is a society of interpersonal communication, and the whole society is composed of an airtight communication network. A good social circle can bring you more opportunities and convenience at any time, and make you one step closer to success.
Is it important to study or to be a man?
Although we have received exam-oriented education since childhood, we have not learned much from quality education, but we should have heard more or less about the topic of who is more important in learning and being a man. There is no doubt that a person with good grades will have a greater chance to make greater contributions to the country and society in the future, but it should be noted that if a person can't be a man, the better your grades, the greater the harm you will bring to the country and society. You got good grades, worked hard as a civil servant and got an iron rice bowl. Since then, you have gradually degenerated and made no progress. You are nothing but eating and drinking. Corruption and bribery have become your pleasure, arrogance and lewdness have made you look down on yourself, and abuse of power has become your indulgence capital. You see, you have studied very well since you were a child, and you are also very ambitious. This is how you entered the big stage of "success". Therefore, it is more important for a person to learn to be a man than to learn to be a scholar. Learning to be a man is to improve your emotional intelligence. However, since childhood, many parents only pay attention to the cultivation of children's intelligence, ignoring the cultivation of emotional intelligence, resulting in more and more children with low emotional intelligence.
In modern society, the importance of EQ cannot be ignored.
Although IQ is an extremely important success factor, it is more about your personality, your worldview, your values, your patience, your confidence, your perseverance, your emotions, your emotions and these qualities that affect a person's life.
1960, a famous psychologist, Walter Mitchell, made a fudge experiment. What is this fudge experiment? In the kindergarten of Stanford University, he did an experiment and gathered a group of four-year-old children. In a hall, the walls should not be too gaudy. What should we do with them? Everyone put a piece of fudge in front of them and told them, children, the teacher is going out for a while. Don't eat the fudge in front of you. If someone eats it, we can't add fudge to you. If you control yourself from eating this kind of fudge, the teacher will reward you with another kind of fudge when you come back. The teacher left, the teacher peeked outside, and many people peeked outside. This group of four-year-old children, after the teacher left, everyone looked at the fudge, attractive and sweet. Some children stretched out after a while, retracted, went out again and retracted again. After a while, some children began to eat. But quite a few children persisted, and when the teacher came back, he gave a reward to those who persisted and did not eat fudge.
Is it over? The teacher analyzed it before he finished writing it. Why did they persist? Some children just count their fingers and don't go to see fudge. Some people lean their heads on their arms, others sleep, trying to make themselves fall asleep. Some count, one, two, three, four, and don't look. Is it over? After that, they continued to observe and analyze. When these children go to elementary school and junior high school, they find that those who can control themselves from eating fudge, after they go to junior high school, most of them perform better, get better grades, have better cooperation spirit and perseverance, but those who can't control themselves don't perform well, not only in junior high school, but also in society.
So what does this deception tell us? Control yourself and control your strength. This not mysterious experiment makes people realize that the value of intelligence in life was overestimated in the past. They think there are other factors, and success in life should also have other factors.
There is such a situation in modern society. There are many prodigies. Everyone says that he is smart and a child prodigy, but he is not as promising as people think. No, why? Although some students are also very smart, they are withdrawn, weird and unsociable, and are not suitable for cooperation. Some people feel inferior and fragile, unable to face setbacks, some people are impatient, stubborn, conceited and emotionally unstable, and some people are indifferent, irritable and neurotic, making it difficult to communicate with people around them. In particular, some people take me as the center, everything is me, me, me, not caring about others, not caring about others, and always like people around them to revolve around one person. Some big experts, even big experts, have extremely high IQ. They may be good at doing projects and have a certain reputation. However, their cooperation with others is not satisfactory, they are critical of others and cannot forgive or tolerate others. What people do to this great expert is to stay at a respectful distance from others, and in the end, they may become lonely and become a research team. There are also many people who are not very intelligent, but they are not too smart. Even people think that he may have a low IQ, but later he became a great cause, a great hero and a great success.
An American journalist later switched to business management and once found a strange phenomenon at a class reunion. At that time, his grades in the class were average, but they all succeeded. At that time, his grades were good and his IQ was high. Later, many people left the society with average grades. So will other classes do the same? He also took other courses, almost the same, so he came to a conclusion that IQ only accounts for 20% of a person's successful achievements. What is the other 80%? He didn't know what it was, so he tried to find out what it was, 80% success. From 65438 to 0995, Daniel Gorman, a professor at Harvard University in the United States, wrote a book called Emotional Intelligence. In the middle of this book, he mentioned some emotional problems, but we ordinary people, even people all over the world, have to admit that we are very worried about universal problems and general trends. What are their trends? Modern children are lonely, melancholy, strange, willful, active, anxious and impulsive. Many parents are right to say so, that's all. Especially in our country, many parents of only children are like this, resulting in * * *. People keep looking for reasons, what caused this result, many reasons, the root cause, and what they found, that is, emotional intelligence, mood and emotion. Emotional intelligence is a particularly important factor in people's success. In other words, high IQ, high IQ and low EQ may not be successful or sustainable. Moreover, the IQ is not too high, and the EQ is relatively high, but it is likely to succeed.
As a result, people increasingly think that EQ surpassing IQ is the reason for success and victory. So, I was looking for 80% people to search and found that IQ accounts for 20% of success and EQ accounts for 80% of success. It was this man who wrote the book EQ. Gorman pointed out that the key to a person's success is EQ, not IQ. Therefore, someone said that IQ is valuable and EQ is more expensive.
Analyze the importance of emotional intelligence in work;
In the past year, executives of well-known enterprises such as Microsoft China, Google China, Dell, Galanz changed frequently, and many professional managers left the enterprise for various reasons. Poor performance and competitors poaching are one of the reasons. Some professional managers have serious internal contradictions due to improper handling of relationships.
How to improve emotional intelligence management has become a key factor to determine whether managers can develop better in their jobs. Regardless of the level, for every professional manager, the core of workplace development is to learn to communicate with people, from information communication to emotional communication, and finally to achieve interest communication. What kind of emotional intelligence management do they need in today's society? They shouldn't have emotional intelligence. After they have certain work skills, the competition between people is often emotional intelligence competition: whoever has high emotional intelligence is more likely to get the support of leaders and colleagues; Whoever has a high EQ will have more human resources and potential opportunities, and finally achieve a win-win situation for enterprises and customers.
Managers' EQ is more important than IQ.
For a long time, people have been used to measuring talents by IQ, but modern research shows that the decisive factor of talent success is not only IQ, but also EQ. Generally speaking, the ability of managers mainly comes from emotional intelligence and IQ, and basically emotional intelligence is more important than IQ. Napoleon said that an officer's knowledge and quality should be a square, and an officer should have the courage to make decisions. The ability of managers caused by emotional intelligence is mainly reflected in three aspects:
(1) communication skills.
People with high IQ tend to be weak in this respect. Because they are smart, they lack patience in communication and don't know how to communicate effectively with their colleagues. Any leader's ability is very important in management, and that is his influence. When a leader does practical management, he or she wants their environment to be harmonious and close to the team, which are indispensable factors for a manager to succeed. It can also be said that it is a manifestation of communication skills.
(2) the ability to choose judgment.
It is often difficult for people with high IQ to make decisions. Because they are smart, they have many choices. After weighing them all, there is no perfect one, and in fact there will never be the best one, so they dare not make a decision easily. Know more, know more, think more, so naturally become indecisive and indecisive. However, current management decisions often need to make choices and judgments under the condition of limited time and insufficient information. As far as determination is concerned, people with high IQ have poor determination compared with their own abilities. They know a wide range of knowledge. When they encounter problems, they will think of various possibilities, and then they will begin to evaluate the scheme. After the evaluation, they found that the risk was great, so a lawyer can't be an entrepreneur.
(3) the ability to persevere.
People with high IQ have many choices, so they often don't have enough persistence. Give up when you encounter setbacks, and you can only go all the way to darkness. It can be said that ignorance is fearless, but it is easier to succeed. Chi Yang, general manager of Saite Shopping Center of Saite Group Co., Ltd. put it well, "It is very important to do business in China: managers must be healthy and strong-willed, otherwise they can't carry it. Just as Zhidong said, "Willpower and endurance test physical strength, but the manager is still very lonely, and many things can't be said to family, friends and investors, so he must be optimistic and confident like Superman, even if he is frustrated repeatedly, and he is not so easy to get tired, disappointed and relaxed.
Of course, for a manager, it is not enough to have emotional intelligence and IQ, but also many other abilities and quotients. One of the hardest things to do is to remain flexible. Managers also need a quotient, called adversity quotient or crisis quotient, or adversity quotient (AQ) for short. The ability of managers to find solutions in adversity is very important. How much a person can achieve often depends on his adversity quotient.
In short, a person's IQ can't be changed, but emotional intelligence can be changed. To be a qualified manager, he must constantly improve his emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is more important than IQ, which needs to be decided by today's society.
Modern society is no longer a unique society, and team spirit is very important. How to enhance the team's sense of cooperation has been related to the survival and development of enterprises. In a sense, the profits of an enterprise should belong to a large group of people, not one person. The success or failure of a person's career is attributed to his emotional intelligence, that is, emotional intelligence. This includes personal organizational skills, coordination skills and interpersonal skills. From the successful examples of Chinese and foreign celebrities, it is not difficult to see that many people may have low academic qualifications, low IQ or even drop out of school, but they have started a career with their own perseverance and ability. There are also many college students with high IQ who are not in online dating in modern society. As excellent students of Tsinghua Peking University, they need their parents to accompany them, so they can't take care of themselves! The ancients said, "If you don't sweep a house, how can you sweep the world?" ? Imagine that such a person, no matter how high his IQ is, can't manage his life well, and his self-discipline ability is extremely poor. How can we expect them to put the overall situation first and make great contributions to the country? Darwin's theory of evolution tells them "the survival of the fittest", emotional intelligence can make them better adapt to society, and IQ can only build their knowledge level. So in today's society, EQ is more important than IQ.
How to be a person with high emotional intelligence?
1. Be good at studying all the details of other people's actions.
As a person with high emotional intelligence, he is fascinated by people's behavior. They will notice other people's body language, dialects and even subtle facial convulsions. So as to discover the changes of other people's psychological activities, and according to other people's emotional actions, talk to people, talk nonsense, treat specific problems specifically, and analyze them concretely. Because they like to observe others, they can understand everyone's uniqueness.
2. Always respect others
No matter what occasion, you should respect others in front of anyone. Maybe he is a beggar, but you can't deny his dignity. Maybe he just suffered from natural disasters or man-made disasters, or he has something to hide, but no matter what his situation is, respecting him is your own cultivation and has nothing to do with him. Learn to respect everyone you meet in your life, and you will eventually accumulate a valuable fortune for yourself.
3. Keep your word and be a leader who keeps his promise.
To be a person with high emotional intelligence, you must know that you must keep your word. As a leader, you should not stand behind and give orders, but walk ahead and set an example. Lead by example, no matter what you do, you should set an example for everyone and have high self-management and control ability.
4. Know yourself and see through your nature.
As a person with high emotional intelligence, you know that the biggest weakness can't explain your weak side, but the biggest advantage can show your strong side. They will give full play to their greatest advantages to make up for their own shortcomings.
Be polite to others
No matter when and where, a person with high emotional intelligence will always talk about thank you, regardless of size, regardless of size, thank you, thank you is always the first purpose of a person with high emotional intelligence. Be polite to others, give people an unparalleled sense of closeness, let them integrate into the collective more quickly, and become one with everyone, then they can get in touch with more friends and resources.
6. Strong psychological quality.
People with high emotional intelligence are calm, calm and organized. They let go of their anxiety and focus on the essence of things. Because they know that only in this way can they solve the problem. They don't like things, they don't care about themselves, they know that short-term achievements mean nothing, and long-term struggle is their persistence. No matter what setbacks and difficulties they encounter in life, they will not affect their psychology. Even if the earth were to fall, I would never waver.
7. Have confidence in the future.
As a person with high emotional intelligence, he will not be uneasy because of the unpredictability of the future. Every day of life is a kind of enjoyment for them, enjoying the sunshine, rain and dew and life. Their lives are so happy that they don't need a crystal ball to predict the future. Because for them, life should be an exciting adventure, not a pre-arranged routine.
8. Full of positive energy.
As a person with high emotional intelligence, he should fill himself with positive energy every day, actively face all difficulties, setbacks and challenges in life, truly regard failure as a friend, challenge as fun and adversity as enjoyment. Optimism about everything in life, optimism and vigor are your unchanging beliefs; Never give up, going forward is your constant persistence.
69. Being able to live in the present and experience every moment.
People with high emotional intelligence will not simply "spend" every day. On the contrary, they will actively experience the subtlety and subtlety of every moment of every day. Feel the joy of life, discover the philosophy of life from life, realize life from small things, and cherish life from little by little.
10. Insist on empathy
People with high emotional intelligence know how to put themselves in the other person's shoes when interacting with others, think from the other person's position, and feel whether they will help themselves when seeking help. Or how to do it yourself, and the other party can and is willing to help?
1 1. Learn to listen.
Everyone with high emotional intelligence knows that "listening" and "listening" are two completely different concepts. They will repeat what others have said by asking questions to make sure that they have not missed any information.
12. Know why you are unhappy.
People with high emotional intelligence will not let their negative emotions affect them. They will take the initiative to find out why they are unhappy, and most importantly, they will find ways to make themselves happy.
13. You can talk freely with friends and strangers.
People with high emotional intelligence never dislike strangers. They don't care about strangers' age, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation or political stance. Because they know that we are all the same, they treat everyone equally.
14. You strictly abide by moral standards in your life and work.
No matter in work or life, people with high emotional intelligence will follow moral standards and principles. Each of them may have different values, but they all demand high standards of themselves.
15. Very helpful.
People with high emotional intelligence think that helping others needs no reason. They will throw garbage for the elderly with mobility difficulties and help their friends or other half wash dishes after dinner; If he enters the door first, he will hold the door for both men and women. When someone falls in the street, they will take the initiative to go forward, and if others have any difficulties, he will try his best to help them.
16. Willing to take the time to get to know a person carefully.
People with high emotional intelligence will pay attention to a person's gestures, expressions and body language. They know that you can't know a person only by his words, because what a person says can't usually be realized as a whole.
17. Keep smiling.
People with high emotional intelligence always have a smile on their faces. Keeping smiling when others are talking to themselves is also an emotional communication, which can not only relax others and release pressure, but also increase their affinity and make communication more convenient.
18. Stick to your goal.
No matter how long it takes, people with high emotional intelligence will keep working hard for success. They are willing to face problems and solve them. Because as long as you don't give up, success will come as promised.
19. Strong internal driving force.
People with high emotional intelligence have long-term internal motivation. They don't consider the final result, but enjoy the whole process. Because personal growth does not come from the moment of success, but from the whole process of striving for success.
20. Have your own principles.
Everyone with high emotional intelligence knows that even in the face of beautiful things, we should grasp the principle of moderation. They know that they can't cover everything, so they will give priority to the most important things.
Daniel Gorman accepted P Salovi's view that emotional IQ includes five main aspects:
1. Know yourself: monitoring the changes of emotions at all times, being able to detect the emergence of certain emotions, and observing and examining your inner world experience are the core of emotional IQ. Only by knowing yourself can you become the master of your life.
As the saying goes, know yourself and know yourself. As a person with high emotional intelligence, the first basic quality is to know yourself and yourself, and really understand your heart, what you want and what you don't want. What should and should not be done?
2. Self-management: adjust your emotions so that they can be expressed in a timely and appropriate manner, that is, adjust yourself;
How can you sweep the world without sweeping a house? The first condition to influence others is to be yourself, be a regular person, develop regular living habits, and learn to manage your emotions, time, desires and ideals, so as to make continuous breakthroughs in life.
3. Self-motivation: the ability to mobilize and command emotions according to a certain goal of the activity can make people get out of the low tide of life and start again;
People with high emotional intelligence never give up. It is their life creed to urge and encourage themselves all the time, persist, persist and persist, regardless of difficulties and obstacles.
4. Identify the emotions of others: Being able to sensitively feel the needs and desires of others through subtle social signals is to identify the emotions of others, which is the basis for normal and smooth communication with others;
A person with high emotional intelligence knows how to read other people's psychology and is a natural psychologist. This is also the greatest place for a person. It is not admirable for a person to control other people's bodies. The real skill is to control people's minds. However, a person with high emotional intelligence always knows how to identify other people's emotions, see through other people's psychological activities, and let others serve him.
5. Skills of dealing with interpersonal relationships and adjusting one's emotional response to others.
People with high emotional intelligence are popular, and being liked by others is their label. Wherever you go, you can be loved by others and bring joy to others. They never have conflicts with others, and even if they have conflicts, they will take the initiative to apologize and settle. Otherwise, cut off contact, so as not to larger foe.
Finally, may you become
A person with high emotional intelligence
Successful career!
Author/Bian Wanhe, Jinan University
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