Opening (a table, uncle sitting on a stool)
Uncle: The world is getting worse and worse. Moral decline, people are distracted, and the team is not easy to bring. Now some male students are a bit obscene, and they want to rush in when they see the girls' dormitory.
(At this moment, a boy wants to sneak in. )
Uncle: (striking the table) Stop! Demo, play dirty with me, you are still young.
Man A: What are you shouting? I've never seen a handsome guy.
Uncle: Just you? Look at the mountains and waters from a distance, grin from a distance, look at the mountains and waters from a distance, and look at freckles from a distance.
Man A: How dare you insult me? Do you know who I am?
Man A: I am a legendary handsome man, well proportioned by the wind, known as "the ground sinks and the water flows backwards", a ghost sees sorrow, a combination of beauty and wisdom, and the embodiment of hero and chivalry. Everyone loves me, and I do everything for my friends and girlfriends.
Uncle: Oh, aren't you the one who didn't deserve to fight when he was a child, but didn't have the money to buy a card to play Tetris online when he grew up?
Man A: Low key, low key.
Uncle: No.
Man a: it doesn't matter if I don't know you. When I come here often, you will know me. Everyone is from Normal University, one of our own, and you are here.
Listen, I'll help you go in and patrol.
Uncle: Please (Fan Wei).
Man A: Don't thank me. This is what we young pioneers should do.
Uncle: Stop! Come back, come back, you almost got in.
Uncle: Are you the only one who wants to blend in? A weak word kuo (the first sound) is on my face. As a freshman, I have the cheek to tell you about the Young Pioneers. Disappear in front of my eyes immediately.
(Action: The man makes a stop action)
Man A: My father works in a factory.
Uncle: Which factory is your father from?
Man A: My father is from the crematorium and my mother is from the funeral home. This is my business card. I can give you a 99% discount if anything happens to your family in the future.
Uncle: Your skin itches.
Man A: I see your face is blue, your pupils are dilated, you have epilepsy in the upper body and a stroke in the lower body. Why don't I book you a seat first?
Uncle: If you don't fight for three days, you'll go to the house and uncover the tiles!
(Two people jump out-soldier A and soldier B)
Uncle: Who is that? Get him.
(Man A is dragged out)
Man A (loudly): 10% off! 50% off buy one get one free!
(Male A disappears, male B goes up, and uncle continues to read the newspaper)
Man B: (singing and going on stage) Everyone says I look like Chow Yun Fat, but in fact I look like Andy Lau.
Man b: I'm bored to death. Being handsome is annoying. If I were a girl, I would marry myself.
Uncle: What's your name again?
Man B: You can call me by my nickname. My nickname is Jay.
Uncle: Jay, what are you doing here? Have you tried?
Man B: Nothing, just looking around.
Uncle: Then why did you turn around here? Do you know where this is?
Man B: Isn't it the girls' dormitory? Girls' dormitory, boys are moving forward.
(Say that finish and step in)
Uncle: The abdomen contracts slightly, and the chest naturally bulges. Shoulders back, neck up ~ ~ ~, feet up, right?
Uncle: If you go any further, you will be fined. 10 yuan, 30, 50 yuan!
Man B: You rob money, my poor boy. You can't treat me like this.
Uncle: (looking up and down) Why can't I see that you are poor?
Man B: I'll sing you a little song and you'll know: Wowotou is in your hand, and there's not a drop of oil in the dish ~ ~ ~ Where I am, traffic basically depends on walking, communication basically depends on shouting, heating basically depends on shaking, and public security basically depends on dogs. Are you poor in my house?
Uncle: My family sells iron pots from time to time. Are you crying with me? Growing up, I don't know how sweet sugar is and how salty salt is. Besides, you are old, why don't you go out and earn money? To steal, to rob, to cheat, to turn, really not, you can sell! Now there are so many college students starting businesses, you can also learn.
Man b: to steal, to rob, to cheat, to cheat, to turn, to sell. How much do you think these trousers are worth?