Marva collins, 20, was born in Alabama in the 1930s. His father is African-American and his mother is Indian. When she was born, racial discrimination prevailed.
As an adult, she found a career that made her passionate-teaching. But at that time, in this public school in Chicago, what she saw was a lot of crime, drug abuse and, most importantly, no hope. It seems that she met a group of problem students, and the environmental impact is also very bad.
How does she inspire the potential of these problem children and lead them on the right path?
On the first day of class-she teaches grade one to grade four-on the first day of class, she said to the students, "We should practice self-confidence."
She kept repeating this message, and the whole semester was like a record that was constantly replayed. In the end, she persisted for a whole year, several years. "I believe you, you can do well, you can succeed, and be responsible for life. Stop complaining, stop complaining about the government, stop complaining about teachers, stop complaining about parents, and success depends on yourself. "
She kept repeating the message. She is full of expectations for her students, pays attention to their strengths and advantages, and trains them. Miracles began to happen: these students, who were considered "unteachable" by teachers, could read the works of euripides, Emerson and Shakespeare in the fourth grade; These "unteachable" students can do high school mathematics at the age of ten.
It is extremely cold in winter and extremely hot in summer. However, the students are driven by the teacher's enthusiasm, and they continue to study. Miracles continued to happen to them: all the students in marva collins graduated from primary school, all the students went to high school and graduated, and all her students finally went to college and graduated from college.
1979, the producer of CBS "60 Minutes" learned the story of marva collins and produced a 15 minute program. She became famous overnight.
What message does her story convey?
First of all, she is a role model. She has great personal charm and awe. Her self-discipline, perseverance and enthusiasm for work are also very infectious.
Secondly, she is full of trust and expectation for her children. She can see the potential, appreciate everyone's potential and express it, so that students can find and give full play to their best side from trust and support.
In John C. Maxwell's book "* * * must win", this rule of stimulating others' positive side is called the "perfect score rule", which is also advocated by the masters of interpersonal communication. On the basis of self-personality charm, believing in the best side of others and making them deeply feel it will inspire their best side.
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When implementing this law, special attention needs to be paid to this prerequisite.
The so-called "people who speak lightly." When you are valuable, so will your words and beliefs.
Whether you have influence or not depends first on who you are.
Marva collins has a high level of knowledge and excellent communication skills. First of all, he has invisibly formed a shock among the problem students.
Marva collins is not a weak man. She is very strict in the classroom. At the same time, she respects everyone. She is not unrealistic. She just encourages her children to "feel good", not at all. She trusts them, respects them and is very strict. She praised them by making them "behave well"
This is an important factor of leadership. With shock and leadership, it is possible for students to follow the direction of Marvas Collins and be inspired.
In Stephen Chow's movie Truant, naughty students can only be subdued. First of all, it's because Zhou Xingxing showed his overwhelming power to practical jokes in various wonderful ways.
Therefore, to be respected and to inspire each other's kindness, there are two brushes as a prerequisite.
I often hear such bitter stories, and girls' efforts to please have also been dumped by love rat. Then the girls will regret that they didn't do well enough.
There is nothing wrong with paying and pleasing properly in a relationship. The key lies in whether you win the respect of the other party because of your personal charm.
When this premise is not available, encouragement, appreciation, worship and dedication will lose the possibility of being valued.
(3) The second point of the perfect score rule refers to believing in the best side of others and making them deeply feel that it will inspire their best side.
Gree said: "Treating a person according to his existing performance will make him degenerate day by day;" Treating a person according to his excellent qualities will turn him into a truly noble person. "
The famous Rosenthal experiment illustrates this truth.
Rosenthal, a famous American psychologist, once did an interesting experiment: when he visited a university, he randomly selected three students from each class *** 18, wrote them on a form, and gave them to the principal, saying very seriously, "The students of this class 18 are all IQ-oriented talents after scientific determination."
Half a year later, Roche came to the school again and found that this 18 student really exceeded the average level and made great progress. Later, these 18 people made extraordinary achievements in different positions. This phenomenon was later called "Rosenthal effect".
The "Rosenthal effect" proves three truths: first, people's IQ and ability can be "activated" by external forces; Second, trust and expectation are the basic elements of "activating" people's IQ and ability; Third, the development cost of human resources is high.
According to Maslow's demand theory, everyone has the need to gain love and respect and self-realization.
Everyone wants to feel important and make their life worthwhile.
Therefore, giving trust, expectation of its potential, love and respect can make a person fully tap his best.
After all, people only care about their performance in your heart when they know how much you care about them.
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Some people will say that trusting and giving too high expectations sometimes leads to trusting the wrong person.
Indeed, as an interpersonal investor, it is impossible to see everything accurately.
But in any case, such a risk is worth taking. Disappointment with a few people should not hinder the pace of trust.
Dr. Rayford Williams of Duke University wrote in With Trust, "Most people who trust live a long and healthy life."
He said that such a heart "believes that human nature is good, and most people will be fair and friendly when they get along."
A kind heart is more likely to be a healthy heart.
Expressing confidence in the potential of others will stimulate their potential.
Think of those people who have influenced your life: teachers who make you believe that you can learn well, bosses who give you opportunities to display your talents, friends who see your potential and encourage you to forge ahead, and partners who love you deeply and say "I do" in their wedding vows.
These are all "noble people" in life.
It is these important "beliefs" that expand and deepen the wonderful experience in your life.
Believe in the best in others, and you will get the best.
The trust given by a valuable and attractive self is the proof of the best love.
Following the perfect score rule will produce more "satisfaction".