At present, more and more attention is paid to the psychological problems of teenagers, so what are the problems that teenagers face in the process of growing up? The troubles faced by teenagers in the process of growing up are brought to you by me, hoping to help you.

The troubles faced by teenagers during their growth.

First, the study pressure is too great.

The academic burden is too heavy, there are many kinds of extracurricular training, and the entrance examination, grades and rankings bring great pressure. I am always nervous when I meet an exam, and I have no time for myself.

Second, parents don't know themselves.

Parents are too demanding and always compare their children with others' children. The child said that parents have another child in their hearts, that is, children from other people's families, children with good grades, and the top five in the class have become the children of the parents of the whole class. This greatly hurts children's self-esteem, and parents are too high to communicate.

Third, poor communication with teachers.

The teacher only looked at the results, which was biased and misunderstood himself.

Fourth, the trouble of interacting with the opposite sex.

The communication between male and female students caused criticism and caused booing, and parents rudely interfered with answering the phone calls of students of the opposite sex. Parents especially emphasize that friends in the top ten, especially parents, will be unhappy when they see their children walking with the opposite sex students in the middle and lower reaches of the class.

Fifth, the troubles of communication between classmates.

Some students have good family conditions, but they like to show off and bully others. They don't give advice in person, play tricks behind their backs and like to complain to teachers.

Sixth, the troubles in life.

Life is monotonous and I feel lonely. I go to school, go home, eat and do my homework every day. No one communicates, and there are grievances buried in my heart. I find it boring that I can't satisfy my wishes one by one. Only when I have fun online can I release them.

Seven, negative social education has both positive and negative effects.

The balance of fairness and justice is always in an unbalanced state in children's hearts. People who obey the rules often suffer, and those who do good are wronged. The handling of some things by teachers, schools and society affects children's view of right and wrong, which makes it difficult for children to accept.

Eight, the troubles of special families.

Parents' discord, difficult family life environment, troubles of single-parent families and left-behind children, etc. It also affects the development of children's healthy personality.

Nine, long-term pampering.

Lack of experience has more or less caused children's poor self-care ability and self-control, leading to weak willpower, inability to quit Internet addiction, inability to control themselves in class, inability to concentrate and so on.

Ten, the trouble of inferiority.

I feel that I am not as good as people in all aspects. Short events are looked down upon by people, and long events are beyond my reach. I am unattractive in my family and class, have no confidence in myself, and always can't do what I want to do well.

Extended reading: Teenagers' "growing pains" need social Qi Li to solve.

Everyone has a diamond.

Case Xiaochao is a junior high school boy. When he was a sophomore, he was inadvertently scolded by the class teacher: "Why are you so stupid? I didn't do well in math. " Since then, he has been immersed in this question: "am I more stupid than others?" Finally, when he got home, he kept saying, "I am a fool, I am a fool, I am a fool!" " "From the first place in the second grade, I fell to the bottom of the class.

What about confusion, depression and inferiority?

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Wo Jianzhong, Ph.D. and psychologist of Beijing Normal University: This child is severely depressed. "How can you be so stupid" hurt his deepest psychological level, that is, the level of self-worth. He is particularly sensitive, especially concerned about other people's evaluation of him, and can't accept the "I" now.

When failures and setbacks come, everyone will find reasons. Optimists believe that failures and setbacks are temporary, specific and caused by external reasons, limited to the here and now; Pessimists believe that failures and setbacks are long-term and permanent, and are caused by internal reasons, and such failures and setbacks will affect other things. Xiaochao's attribution is the latter, that is, he feels "stupid", rather than doing poorly in the exam occasionally. In this way, you won't try to change.

People's self-distrust often comes from not knowing themselves. Both diamond and graphite are made of carbon, but because of their different structures, one is the hardest and the other is the softest. Similarly, everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and everyone has a diamond. Finding the biggest potential advantage is the most fundamental way to help children improve their self-confidence. Even the children with the worst grades can find: "Although my grades are not good, I have management ability and can become an entrepreneur in the future!"

People with depression always pay attention to others unconsciously: "I am so poor, what will others think of me?" So we should train him to change his thinking direction, from paying attention to others to paying attention to himself. Tell the child: "People live for themselves, not for others, as long as they pay attention to their behavior."

For example, you can train yourself to accept and like yourself slowly. Tell yourself in the mirror before going out every morning: "I like you, you are great!" " "Whenever you do something that makes you dissatisfied, you might as well tell yourself," Nothing, it's all over. "

Parent-child communication opens the heart.

Parents in countless cases are confused when communicating with their children: "After children enter high school, their temper changes, and they are obviously fine, and suddenly ignore you, often ignoring everyone for two or three days. When her parents asked her, she was covered in thorns and became angry for no reason. " "The door of the room is always closed. Every time I say hello to you softly through the door, all I get is the impatient answer from the child:' Leave me alone!' "

How do adolescent confused and rebellious children communicate?

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Yang Fengchi, a professor of psychology at Capital Medical University: Adolescence is an important turning point from naivety to maturity. Adolescent children should confirm what kind of person they are, where their value lies and where they develop. In this process of self-identification, there may be many contradictions and quite chaotic situations. Children should develop independently, have independent consciousness and form independent personality, which is something that every parent should be particularly happy about. Therefore, when the child is rebellious, parents should not be disappointed, but excited and happy, indicating that the child has grown up. As parents, we should have an understanding and accepting attitude and establish good and effective communication with our children.

People only open their hearts when they feel very safe. If you are full of vigilance, you will lock your inner world and communication will be impossible. Therefore, the first step in communication between parents and children is to build trust with children. All we have to do is accept the child unconditionally. Let children know that no matter how they behave, how many mistakes they make and how many times they fail, their parents' love will never leave. When children's academic performance is not ideal, will you sigh with disappointment? If the answer is "yes", then you have not accepted the child unconditionally.

How to break the deadlock with children? First, analyze the reasons. Parents may inadvertently make a "machine gun", or get used to talking to their children condescendingly, or always blame their children. The reason why children have a cold war with their parents may also be that their parents are unwilling to compromise and are holding each other back.

Therefore, in the first step, parents should understand the significance and purpose of communicating with their children and be result-oriented; The second step is to accept the child unconditionally, no matter what the child's reaction is, accept it completely without any negative emotions; The third step is to actively seek contact with children and create opportunities to re-establish intimate relationships; The fourth step is to talk more about things that children are interested in. When children are willing to talk, pay more attention to listening, correct communication situation bit by bit, and form a virtuous circle.

Quit internet addiction lightly

Case: Qi Qiang, a senior three student, whose grades are in the middle and lower reaches, often plays online games after studying, and gradually loses control. He dislikes studying more and more, indulges in online games all day, forgets to eat and sleep in front of the computer, and his fingers often even tap the keyboard involuntarily.

How to indulge in online games?

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Distinguished professor of Huazhong Normal University and Tao Hongkai, an education expert: Internet addiction means that computer and network users have a strong interest in its content and feel happy and fulfilled. Due to the lack of self-control ability and timely guidance and correction, this feeling is getting stronger and stronger, and dependence is gradually formed. Once you stop, you will be agitated and feel uncomfortable, and then you will lose your reason and indulge in it, even if it seriously affects your normal life, study and work.

There are three main reasons for teenagers' internet addiction: unhealthy family education, the influence of bad social culture, and the boredom and pressure of exam-oriented education in schools. The key to eradicate Internet addiction among teenagers lies in the family. Therefore, it is necessary to give children a new starting point through psychological communication, behavior correction and environmental change.

People always have to subconsciously find a reason to live and live meaningfully. When he finds that he is always frustrated in his studies and has no confidence at all, but he can get a successful experience in online games, he is easily addicted. The most important thing to quit internet addiction is to guide children to think: what is the result of playing like this all the time? What's good for life? Through discussion, change his thinking mode and eliminate his objections.

To quit the game, you must first isolate it. At this time, parents should hold on and insist not to let him play. What if he flies into a rage and insists on playing? Three words, ignore him. The second step is to regain confidence in learning. After a little training, he felt that his study was "ok". For example, you can do a potential test, let him find that he is great, cultivate his interest in learning, and restore his confidence in a scientific way.

Be a good boy "pressure relief valve"

A few days before the mid-term exam, Lili began to fidget, even stiff at the thought of the exam. Hearing the bell of the exam, Lili's heart beat faster immediately, and she felt that her brain was slower than usual, her hands were cold, she was sweating all over, and she was so nervous that she couldn't remember anything that she even recited.

How to relieve test anxiety?

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It should not be our ultimate goal for children to do well in exams. Everything we do for our children is to make him grow up healthily and live happily. Parents should pay more attention to the balanced development of children's IQ and EQ, rather than just staring at how many points their children scored. When eating, talk to children about interesting things between classmates; Have a heart-to-heart talk with your child while he is studying. These are spiritual supplies as natural as water. More often, what children hate and fear is not the exam, but that they will be criticized by their parents if they don't do well in the exam and feel that the exam results are more important than themselves.

If the exam is regarded as a terrible life-and-death battle, it is a terrible life-and-death battle; If we regard it as a precious experience of life and an unforgettable memory, it is a beautiful process, and we can still spend every day happily. On the contrary, a certain amount of pressure and tension has become an exciting challenge, which brings happiness and a sense of accomplishment to life.

Examination nervousness is common among children. When I was tutoring a child who was anxious about exams, I didn't tell her how to make herself not nervous, nor did I tell her how to listen to music and take a deep breath. It is to guide her to think positively about things-what if she is worried about being nervous every exam? If you want to refuse or avoid it, you might as well accept the tension and try to do well in the exam questions under the tension. In this way, you can concentrate on the preparation before the exam, instead of worrying unnecessarily; Moreover, the more problems exposed in the exam, the fewer problems encountered in the college entrance examination, so it seems unnecessary to be nervous in the exam. Guiding children to see the sunshine is the root of solving problems and the source of making children really happy.

In addition, the study found that there is a positive correlation between children's mentality and parents' mentality. In other words, the more anxious parents are, the more anxious their children will be. In fact, home should be the most relaxing and stress-free place for children, and parents should always act as "safety cushions" and "pressure relief valves". In this way, the pressure that children feel at school can be buffered at home.

My happiness is my decision.

The case is "boring, boring". Lan Tong, who was admitted to a university last year, has often said these words recently. Repeated classes every day make her feel bored. Before the college entrance examination, she thought that if she was admitted to the university, she would be extremely happy. But now I really admit that after the ecstasy, I feel a little empty and lost.

Confused who stole my happiness?

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If you pin your happiness on the environment, the environment includes what kind of school you go to, how much money you earn, how big a house you live in and so on. That is, we pursue happiness outward, and happiness will be affected by the environment, because the environment is often uncontrollable; But if you pursue inward, that is, your inner feelings, then you can always feel happiness and happiness, because you can control it.

Life is not in a hurry. Living in panic, shortness of breath and fear every day is a waste of life and youth. Life should be to live hard and easily, enjoy the present, rush forward unhurriedly and have challenging goals. Tal Ben Shahar, a lecturer in positive psychology at Harvard University, said that the definition of "happiness" should be "the combination of happiness and meaning". My understanding is that "happiness" comes from the present good times, inward, that is, my inner feelings, rather than pursuing external things; And "meaning" comes from the purpose, that is, setting a challenging goal according to one's own strengths to make one's life happier. Simply put, happiness is the process of enjoying life and pursuing the future.

Advice about trouble

1. Find someone you like, treat food as trouble, and eat hard.

Find a note to write down your troubles, just like talking to a person who can't speak. Tell her your troubles, and it will be much better.

3. Doing more exercise can also relieve troubles. Exercise is a kind of venting. Through exercise, you will feel relaxed.

Find a quiet place to listen to your favorite songs, enjoy the silence of a person, and think nothing, which will also alleviate your troubles.

In fact, there is a good thing, the drift bottle is also a good choice, it will float your troubles into the sea!

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