I have always wanted to write an article for the parents of students, especially when I saw that my students failed to live up to expectations at school, and I felt a sense of hating iron and not turning into steel, and I was even more saddened by the family relationship of students.

Engaged in student management for several years after graduation. First, I taught students in public 2 1 1 school for two years and worked in three schools for two years. Four years of work experience, especially the comparison between 2 1 1 school and three schools, made me deeply feel the profound influence of family background on students. I deeply realize that the influence of family background on a person will be lifelong.

In the process of ideological and political education for students, it is found that students in 2 1 1 school are more conscious and self-disciplined than students in three schools.

Some people will say that teachers usually like obedient students, and university teachers also like "manageable" students.

I never judge whether a student is a good student or a bad student by whether he is obedient or good at management.

The only consideration is students' cognition. Students' cognition of the world and themselves.

Cognitive deviation will lead to behavioral deviation. To be a student's ideological and political education is to find out the cognitive deviation of students after seeing their behavioral deviation. Only by solving the cognitive bias can we fundamentally solve the problem.

02

I use 2 1 1 school to compare the three schools, not to distinguish the gap between the students in the two types of schools. But to find out the * * * factors of the deviation of these two types of schools.

This gender factor is the student's family background.

Usually, students have behavioral deviations. If we investigate the root cause, we will find that such students have a sexual problem: the family is imperfect or the parent-child relationship is not harmonious.

For single-parent or divorced families with imperfect families, it involves complex problems within the family, but without exception, it has a great influence on children's speech. Parents who communicate well with their children can appropriately reduce the harm, and more importantly, children can only accept the facts.

A student's aunt called me and wanted to ask the student for a long vacation. When asked about the reason for the leave, the child's aunt said that the child's father had not seen the child for several years, and this time he went back to his hometown and wanted to see the child. Children don't want to comment. I hope I can convince the children. When I communicated with students, I knew that before the parents divorced, the father's actions had a great influence on the children, and the children had great complaints. After so many years, her father seldom came back to see her, and she got used to it and didn't want to see her. The child's aunt finally had to give up.

As far as another kind of family with disharmonious parent-child relationship is concerned, a large part of them are parents who do business and have no time to take care of their children, let alone family education.

The businesses mentioned here are usually relatively small businesses. Small businesses or individuals.

There was once a student who caught my attention during military training. Two days after the start of military training, the students found various reasons to take time off to avoid military training. Asked why, I just said I didn't want military training. In the later classes, absenteeism often occurs. After half a semester, the students got used to her not being in the classroom. According to her situation, after in-depth communication, I learned that students are reluctant to mention their parents.

I think it is necessary to communicate with my parents. Call the parents of the students and tell them how they are doing at school. I hope I can work with my parents to improve the students' situation and make her realize the necessity of attending classes. My parents' attitude surprised me.

Let her think about her own business, and we don't care about her. Hearing their attitude, I immediately realized why students have such a situation.

There is also a student who always shows disdain when I suggest that students study professional courses and read more books. Eating, sleeping and playing games are his daily routine. When I learned his thoughts, I also expressed my helplessness to my parents.

"Why don't you want to study"

"I don't like this major, and I won't do it in the future anyway."

"What shall we do in the future?"

"Go home and help the family"

"What are you doing at home?"

"I opened a building materials shop, and my parents said they would go home to help in the future."

"What do you want to do?"

"Being a reporter"

"Do parents know?"

"I don't know, they don't care about me."

Speaking of this, I know that parents who are busy making money are neglecting their children. Children are getting farther and farther away from their parents.

There are too many such students in three schools. Of course, there are also 2 1 1 schools. Just not that big.

03

Parents' neglect of care and communication for their children is the biggest problem.

Whether it is 2 1 1 or three schools, there are children from various family backgrounds.

I just saw the statement made by the champion of the college entrance examination this year about the college entrance examination results and family environment. His sentence "The current champion's family is very good and very powerful" reminds me that some students have good family economic conditions, but what are the reasons for not being admitted to a good school?

It is not only the parents' consciousness, but also their own educational level.

These two factors determine whether parents can give their children enough attention and correct guidance.

One believes that children should develop in an all-round way and provide a broad platform for children with their own economic strength and good cognitive judgment. Children can be exposed to better opportunities and broaden their horizons. Also formed a perfect personality under the good family atmosphere and edification.

The other thinks that as long as you give money, you can use the money you earn to satisfy all the material pursuits of your children. But I don't care what the child needs.

Due to the limited practical conditions or educational level, I have no intention to look down on the parents behind me.

Compared with families with good economic conditions, many rural children have a more correct outlook on life and a higher proportion in good schools.

The key is not family conditions, but whether parents care enough for their children.

Especially for children's three views, compared with parents' education level, the focus is more on parents' words and deeds and their real concern for children.

Now in the countryside, it is very different from when we used to go to school. In the past, although the economic conditions at home were not good, my parents were often around. Now, there are more "left-behind children". There are many helpless factors in this. The long-term absence of parents is immeasurable to the physical and mental health of children. More often, it is not a question of whether you can go to a good university, but the perfection of your child's character and personality.

There are also some parents with good family economic conditions who are still trying to earn money. It's time to look back at your children.

In the critical period of a child's growth, how can you expect him to be admitted to a better university if you don't care about his growth?

04

Writing this article is a feeling accumulated for a long time, especially seeing so many children in college. When you try your best to hope that they will gain something in college and guide them to establish a correct understanding of the world, you obviously feel that there is a force in students' bodies that responds to the guidance of teachers.

This force is the lack of family education for children and the resulting cognitive dislocation.

Children's rebellious ideas, indifferent attitude, and irresponsible behavior towards themselves. This is what parents owe their children!

Now many kindergarten schools not only interview children, but also interview parents. Schools should not only observe children, but also observe parents standing behind them. Whether parents' educational ideas and their three views are consistent with the requirements of the school. Here, the school pays attention to parents' words and deeds to their children.

Poverty or wealth is not only manifested in the economy. Lead by example, give your children enough care, and you will find that a rich mind will bring you far more satisfaction than the economy!

-To Qian Qian's parents.