One day, a foreign friend and I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi. The beautiful waitress came to ask. Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and rush to say, "How much is it to sleep?" The young lady was embarrassed, so she was angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much money. Miss ..................................................................................................................................................... said cheerfully, "Yes, what program do you want?" "It's yellow ..."
Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?" The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only steamed bread." Old Dong said, "Oh, just touch (steamed bread)." The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "Rogue!" Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Sixty cents? Too cheap! "
When a leader of Chaoshan area warmly received guests from other provinces on the boat, he said seriously, "It's a big wave today, so take some birth control pills."
Dizzy "), lest everyone be dizzy. "Everyone blushed. Then, the leader warmly greeted everyone: "Come, come. Please come to the bedside (bow) and sit on the bedside (bow) to see your wife.
(Suburb), the more you look, the better you look!
A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."
She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"
Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "
One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he hesitated because there was no Geely license plate number in the garage. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good, 00544 (let me try), and no one dares to mess around, right?" !
The rich man was moved and bought the car at once, but something happened the next day. The rich man got off the bus angrily, thinking that you would dare to hit this car, but as soon as he got off the bus, he left in despair. The other party's original license plate is 44944 (just try it).
1. Q: What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow? A: KFC (fast) Nicole Kidman (slow) 2. Q: What animal sticks to the wall most easily? A: Sea Leopard 3. The eleventh book is incredible (book 1 1) 4. A person is painted gold to make a blockbuster (Golden Man) 5. Jade tells Xiaoming that her father has no ability to stop (jade father can't) 6. Eating with chopsticks is very popular. The moon represents my heart (CoCo Lee, how much I love you ...) 8. What color can best imitate? -Red (Mill) imitates 9.2 China, Japan and the United States, which country has the largest army? Answer: Japan, because there is a singer named Ayumi Hamasaki (soldier quick march) ~ ~10. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle picked up the phone and said, "Feed the yang but turn the yin" (the sheep calls from the eagle) 1 1. A total of ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheepfold, one squatting in the pigsty (one sheep squatting wrong)! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung? Answer: yellow because: Qin Shihuang (celery dung yellow) 13. Which Chinese character is the coolest? A: thong (cool) 14. The sheep stopped breathing and stood proudly (the sheep did not exhale) 15. Bees stop on the calendar, and the weather is fine (bees and calendar) 16. Painters prefer to draw thick ropes to thin ones. 17 (drawn by thick rope) Tianyi (seamless mobile phone) 19. Who knows birds best? A frightened bird knows a bird. 20. How to make a sparrow quiet? Click (silence the bird) 2 1. What kind of snake has many mouths? Collision (snake)
The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you." One kind of shooting, the other kind of bombing. Let me show you. )
Andy Lau took May to drink water in Stephen Chow. Suddenly Nicholas Tse blew and a Nicky Wu emerged from the water. Nicky Wu and Ekin Cheng rode Ka Kui Wong together and took May. Holding Emil Wakin Chau, Andy Lau stepped on Deric Wan, crossed Zhao Benshan, Rosamund Kwan, Pan Changjiang, grabbed May, returned to Aaron Kwok, and hung a Richie Jen in the city!
An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea and turned into a tea egg; An egg went swimming in Songhua River, and it became a preserved egg. An egg went to Shandong and became a Lu (halogen) egg; An egg was homeless and turned into a wild egg; An egg accidentally fell on the road, fell to the ground and became a missile; An egg ran into someone's yard and became an atomic bomb; An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb. An egg got sick and became a bad guy. An egg got married and became an asshole; An egg swam in the river and became a nuclear bomb. An egg ran into the flowers and became a Hua Dan. There is an egg riding a horse with a knife. It turns out that he is a Beijing opera blues. An egg is female and ugly, and it turns into a dinosaur egg; One egg is a man, and his wife is adultery with other eggs outside. As a result, he becomes an illegitimate child.
A male deer, it walked faster and faster, and finally became a expressway (road)!
Hold out four fingers. What is it? Four,
Bend four fingers. What is it?
Wonderful ~!
Why does silkworm baby have money? Because silkworms can cocoon (thrifty)
Who is the most embarrassing historical figure? Su Wu, because: Su Wu herded sheep in Beihai (kicked by the sea).
What will sharks become when they eat mung beans?
Green bean paste!
What's the name of Ali's father?
Alibaba
How to make drinks bigger?
Read the great compassion mantra
What animal slips most easily?
The fox is cunning-its feet are slippery.
Draw a v on two fingers. What is this? Yeah ~ ~ Hands shaking down, what is it? It's fallen leaves!
Xiao Bai, Huang Xiao and Xiao Lan take a long-distance bus. Who gets carsick?
Small white vomiting, dusk
4. Xiaobai+Xiaobai =?
White rabbit (Xiaobaier)
Ears are here.
The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You give it to me."
Go buy two bamboo poles. "
When touts heard that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", they quickly agreed and ran away.
Go to the butcher shop and say to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You are a clever man.
You should know it! "
The shopkeeper is a clever man. He understood as soon as he heard it. He immediately cut two pieces of pig liver as gifts.
There are a pair of pig ears.
After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. This pig ear, of course. "
This is mine ... "So he wrapped the hunting ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, to the magistrate of a county.
"Come back and report, Grandpa," he said. "I bought pig liver!"
The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " "
Hearing this, the touts frighten forward, hurriedly replied:
"Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket!"
Do what you see.
Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but he couldn't just pay the rent.
I have to give him a chicken first.
A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year.
When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent and told the landlord about the lease for next year.
However, he looked at the sky with empty hands and said, "There are no three kinds of fields in this field."
Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. basic concept
After eating the chicken, he immediately changed his mouth and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"
Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so fast!"
The landlord replied: "that sentence was nonsense just now, and now it is' seeing'."
Machine (chicken) making. "
There is a chance.
A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to fly before.
I used to send a telegram to the manager, fearing that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement: "Seize the opportunity."
No? "The manager received the telegram and thought it was an" opportunity "to clinch a deal. He immediately called back:" You can take it.
Multiply "
The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager took a plane with insufficient level.
The provisions of the plane will not be reimbursed, and the plane ticket fee will not be reimbursed. The salesman killed the manager and came back.
Electricity, the manager was dumbfounded.
Geographical name correlation
On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more cheerful.
For form.
During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is."
I come from Myanmar, so I am shy. "Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone and stayed for a drink.
Then he said, "I'm from Yangon."
The headmaster is angry.
At the school affairs meeting at the end of the term, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management.
It thunders He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong;
As an officer, I won't do it! "
After seeing the patient, a doctor wrote in his medical record: Anal speech (inflammation). The hospital director was very angry after reading it, so he added: Bullshit.
In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "fresh fish!" " "At this moment, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted:" bubble gum! The fish seller said to the sugar seller, "hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" "They are more noisy more fierce. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado!" After listening to this, the security guard said, "All right, take the four of you together! " ……
When I was a sophomore, our Chinese teacher was an old teacher who had just transferred from Nanchang to Beijing. He has a strong accent. His son is attached to the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua, which is also the purpose of his coming to Beijing. He is very proud of his son and always tells us about his son. Every time he says, "My (my) (son) is from Tsinghua University Toad (Architecture)".
If moths jump on frogs and toads, won't they become snacks? ...