Urgent! ! ! ! ! ! Who can help me find a funny joke about campus life? ! ! ! If it is good, I am willing to add more points! ! ! thank you ! !

I played this in my senior year. I can be said to be a counterpart or a monologue! ! Oh! Close to our high school life!

Crosstalk "smart"

Author: Tian Tianbian, member of Quyi Artists Association of Qingdao University of Science and Technology.

A: I'm happy to say cross talk for you. First of all, I wish you all the best and bright future!

B hello, everyone, here we are! I wish you all success in your career and look forward to the future!

Well, well, I said, what do you do?

B me? You don't even know? It scares the hell out of you.

Haha, bragging is not afraid of flashing your tongue. Cut the crap. What are you doing here? `

B say cross talk!

Chiao, a crosstalk performer, what's your name?

B My last name is X, and XXX is me.

Jiaao, XXX, never heard of it.

B No ... Oh, you have to keep a low profile, so who are you?

Party A's surname is X and his first name is xx.

Yiao

Hey, hey, hey ... (active foot shaking)

A: You are really good.

B means I'm a coincidence.

A has a jingle to ask you.

What's B's jingle?

A is the phrase "the magic weapon to test teachers and the lifeblood of students".

This sentence "b" has been circulating for a long time. I remember when I was in primary school.

Jiaao, did you have this sentence in elementary school? !

B: That's right.

Then I must ask you a question.

B what's the problem?

Tell me, what kind of students are afraid of exams and what kind of students are not afraid of exams?

B I have a very personal experience and profound research on this issue.

Jia ao, have you done any research? ! Tell me about your research results.

B This good student is not afraid of exams, and this poor student is afraid of exams.

I don't think your research results are completely correct.

Why is he not completely right?

A I think, I think, this honest student is afraid of exams, and this smart student is not afraid of exams.

B Then why are honest students afraid of exams?

There is some truth in this. Think about this honest student. Although he usually studies hard, he always underestimates himself as soon as he enters the examination room.

Then what did he underestimate?

A What if he underestimates himself and doesn't do well in the exam?

B: That's not putting pressure on yourself.

Think about that clever student again. Although I was a little nervous about the examination room, my face showed Zhou Zuo's calmness. With his little cleverness, he can write if he can, and look around and copy if he can't.

B copy it?

A that's right. Isn't there a good couplet?

B tell me about it.

The first part of A is: Don't cheat in the exam, and be a junior next year. The second part is: I would rather have no personality and fail. I just want to copy.

B What if it can't be copied?

A really can't copy it, so use your own cleverness to get it up.

What happened?

Jia En, although I can't get full marks, it's generally not a big problem to get a score of 70 or 80.

B I'm not sure.

A: Yes, as the saying goes, a horse takes a nap without kicking a tiger. This kind of school depends on cleverness.

Students, there will be times when children will be lost every day.

B yes. This cleverness is unacceptable in learning, and it was absolutely impossible in the past.

A Well, something similar happened in my middle school.

Is it?

On that occasion, our Chinese teacher organized a thorough exam.

B ultrasound?

Well, I didn't inform my classmates in time because of time. As a result, I made a lot of funny answers on the test paper.

What kind of questions are these and how do students answer them?

A There is a question like this. What is the representative work of Ding Ling, a famous writer in China?

This question is simple. The sun shines on the Sanggan River.

Yes, what you know is simple, but what you don't know is difficult.

B is the same. It's not too bad for such a problem.

A: Well, the kind of smart student I'm talking about is like this. When the teacher is not paying attention, secretly ask the students in front.

B Then what did he ask?

A I'll learn from you.

B, study.

A just don't know if you want to hear it.

Of course, these people are listening.

Everyone listened well, except for a little less applause. (Applause)

And this, you want applause.

A what? I call it popularity.

Come on, imitate quickly, everyone is waiting.

A Alas-alas-(looking around the teacher), what is Ding Ling's masterpiece?

Did the classmates in front of B tell him?

A think about it. Who dares to speak loudly in the examination room?

B yes.

He also replied in a low voice.

What did b say?

A (looking at the teacher furtively) The sun shines on the Sanggan River.

B what? Speak louder.

The sun shines on the Sanggan River.

B didn't hear you clearly. Say it again.

The sun shone in-just then the invigilator came over. The students in front dare not say anything, and the students behind dare not ask any more questions.

B that would be great. I didn't hear you clearly.

A It doesn't matter if I didn't hear you clearly. This classmate has an idea.

What can he do?

He was blinded by his classmate's accent.

How did it get it?

A: The masterpiece of Ding Ling, a famous writer in China, is: The sun shines on these three monks!

Why didn't he write about nuns?

He said nuns have different accents.

B Oh, not yet. This kind of student is so annoying.

Ah, xxx, another question is who is the author of the foreign novel How Steel was Tempered and which country is it from?

B this question is simpler. If it isn't Oscar Tolovsky of the former Soviet Union.

A is right, but some students will not be stumped. They sat there thinking hard for a long time and finally remembered.

B: Remember?

Jia En, he filled it out with a stroke of the pen.

How did he fill it out?

A: The author of the foreign novel How Steel was Tempered belongs to American profit-seeking Phil.

B Hey hey, why doesn't he write about Tai Sen?

A family admitted that Tai Sen's name was too short to be like it.

Well, not yet. Such students are so annoying.

He is irritating, and there are more irritating than him.

B Is there anything worse than him?

A there is another question: who are the eight masters in Tang and Song Dynasties?

B this question is a bit difficult.

A difficulty is a difficulty, but it is in the book and the teacher has talked about it many times.

B Alas xxx, do you know who eight people are?

Of course I know. They are Han Yu and Liu Zongyuan in the Tang Dynasty, Wang Anshi, Ouyang Xiu, Ceng Gong and Su San in the Song Dynasty, and Su Xun, Su Shi and Su Zhe. Together, eight people are the eight masters in the Tang and Song Dynasties.

B exactly. How many students answered?

A Of course, most students can still answer it, but a few individual students' answers are varied.

What kinds of flowers are there?

A a classmate answered like this.

Yeen

A: Eight masters in Tang and Song Dynasties, including Li Qingzhao, Xin Qiji, Jackie Chan, Li Geng, Richie Jen, Jay Chou, Aaron Kwok and Nicky Wu.

The other person obviously doesn't know why he wants to write it.

A: He said that if you fill in the wrong form, you won't deduct it. If you get it right, you will get a point.

B what logic is this?

Another student from A answered this question. There are Han Yu, Liu Zongyuan, Wang Anshi, Ouyang Xiu, Ceng Gong and Su San among the eight masters in Tang and Song Dynasties.

B: Is that a bad answer?

A Well, the answer in front was very good, but the "three plastics" in the back confused him.

How did B confuse him with Sue?

A He answered Su Fish, Su Shrimp and Su Tofu.

Sue what what?

Nail fish, shrimp and tofu

B Hey, everyone here, let me say something. I'm the best at eating this. Let's talk about eating this fish first. .....

Stop, stop, stop. What are you doing?

B I didn't .....

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Look at him. He is too fat and his limbs are swollen. Everyone can see that you are really hard to get, and there is no need to open your food conference on another occasion.

What do you call this? Look at you. As you get older, you get thinner and thinner. You are a tough guy in this city.

One line ... and this last question is about couplets. In addition to the upper couplet, the upper couplet allows you to make the lower couplet at the beginning.

A pair of couplets, you should pay attention to the use of words to protect the train, but you have found the right person, I am an expert in this field.

Ah, why is it so dark? It turns out that cows are flying in the sky.

B cow? How can cows fly?

It can be fried underground.

B I'm underground ... fuck you. I blow in the ground. I am telling the truth. .

First, tell the truth. These days, there are only a few people who tell the truth, otherwise Xiao Cui (Cui Yongyuan) would have stepped down long ago.

B is coming. Cut the crap and let's listen to the first part.

Ok, you listened (the Beijing opera Nianbai).

Second, he is still very successful here.

A (I accompany myself and want to sing). . . . I'd better say it.

He stopped singing again, which really wasted our feelings.

This link is: Antarctica, Arctic continent, Antarctic continent, northernmost and southernmost.

B it's not easy. Listen carefully ... let me think.

How about a? Bragging is not taxed.

B: Yes, the bottom line is: move pawnshop, move pawnshop, move pawnshop, move pawnshop.

A (with a stunned expression) This ... This is your confrontation with ...?

B Yes ... Yes, I think ... I came up with it. What, will the cow fly this time? It's not dark every day?

Shame, shame ...