1.

Maybe you don't think this is a problem, as I used to think. I don't think this problem is worth struggling at all, but cognition is a process that is slowly subverted.

This bothers me very much, because a junior supervisor said to a senior minister, "You give me the names of the people who reported to your class."

Our student union department consists of two senior student ministers and several freshmen officers. Joining the student union will inevitably have a lot of things to deal with, such as statistics, making tables, planning and so on. In departmental affairs, some affairs are often handled by officers, such as collecting information.

In order to facilitate communication, students will have communication groups for ministers and officials to discuss. The sentence that made me feel uncomfortable came from this exchange group.

One night, I was chatting with several officers in the group, and suddenly a freshman officer in the learning department sent this message: "You give me the list of people who applied for your class." And Aite appointed a minister, because this minister happens to be the study committee member of their class, and the personnel information of the applicant needs to be reported to the study department by him.

Originally, it was a normal work exchange, and it was also the responsibility of the director to collect information, but I always felt it was awkward. The attitude of speaking is not like communication, but like an order from an officer to a soldier, and the tone is stiff and cold.

I couldn't help sending a message to another classmate in private, explaining my thoughts. She said "I can't understand" and "it's disrespectful" just like me. But she inadvertently said, "He can change his name to' you'", which plunged me into deeper confusion.

Regarding the honorific "you", we can see its respect from its source. In Wang Li's China Grammar Theory, "You" is considered as a chorus of "You are old". Lv Shuxiang thinks, from "your old man" to "you are old" and then to "you". "You" has expanded from a special title for the elderly to a second title.

"You" appears as the second person, and its respect is beyond doubt. In daily life, "you" is mainly used to address old people, old comrades, elders and people with positions, such as teachers and doctors.

The meaning of "you" is not only here, but also a kind of respect for unfamiliar people. For example, in daily life, for some unfamiliar or unfamiliar people, my address must be "you". No matter what position the other party is, whether the other party is a business owner or a vendor, a "you" is a respect for the other party and a manifestation of self-cultivation.

2.

We are obsessed with the title of minister, and we can't blame us for being too pedantic, but because some students are too arrogant and too official.

There are many such incidents. For example, this incident exposed this year has aroused great public concern: a freshman of a university in Chengdu asked about the meeting time in a social network group, and was accused of "paying attention to his identity" by his seniors.

According to the exposed chat records, some members asked if there was a meeting on the 7th, and then Aite met the principal, and then an administrator said angrily, "Did you directly @ President Yang? Now you call the senior? I don't want to see it anymore. "

Then another administrator also sent a message: "Please pay attention to your words and deeds and ways of speaking in the future."

Coincidentally, in July this year, a list of appointments and dismissals of Sun Yat-sen University Student Union caused heated discussion. In this formal and serious list, according to the secretariat, departments and offices, more than 200 positions of student union cadres are listed, while the first two levels are also marked with "ministerial level", just like a small officialdom.

It is undeniable that some student officials have a sense of superiority in their behavior and even in their thoughts. With this superior mentality, when they communicate with their classmates in a lofty posture, their subconscious mind no longer belongs to the category of equal communication, but hopes to get more respect.

It is precisely because of this phenomenon and the existence of people that a small official like me is confused in addressing.

Is it arrogant for me to call you directly? After all, he is a minister!

Is it too bureaucratic to call you? I feel like I'm kissing the minister's ass.

This kind of entanglement seems to have always existed, especially when I met a serious and unsociable minister.

3.

Compared with "you", "you" can better reflect the equality and intimacy between people.

I asked my friends around me how to address my elders at home. Most people will call their relatives around them "you". Only a few people said they would call their grandparents "you".

Similarly, we often use "you" to address our friends and colleagues directly. At this time, "you" conforms to our equal communication, and also increases the intimacy between people, making both sides in a comfortable state.

The intimacy of "you" is something we often ignore. Imagine this scene: you want to praise your mother for cooking delicious food, but you mean "the food you cooked today is really delicious!" " Or "The meal you cooked today is really delicious!" And then what?

The expression of feelings in the two sentences is obviously different. The first sentence looks very close, there is no sense of distance, and the second sentence makes people feel a lot strange. It doesn't feel like what they said to their mother, but more like what they said to an aunt they didn't know very well.

However, the sense of respect for each other will not be reduced because of the use of "you". In other words, "you" is a way for us to pay tribute, but it is not the only way. Respect is not only reflected in words, but also in behavior and manners, and in all aspects. What's more, some people are respectful on the surface, but they despise arrogance in their hearts and don't take people seriously. We are also obsessed with whether the other party has given us a title.

The reason why I am entangled between "you" and "you" is because I don't understand the essence of the two. Calling you is respect, but calling you is not contempt. As ministers and officials, we are peers and can cultivate close interpersonal relationships. Why let a "you" push people thousands of miles away?

Use some polite expressions in ordinary communication, such as "please", "trouble" and "thank you", which will not embarrass the conversation, but also show your civilization and self-cultivation.

As for officers, perhaps the only difference is to change "you give me the list of people enrolled in your class" to "please give me the list of people enrolled in your class". A small change will make a big difference.