The main reason is the denial, suppression and degradation of the outside world (family and society). Living in such an environment for a long time

Children with depressive tendencies are related to their family background.

Now there are all kinds of problems in all aspects of the family. In such an environment, it is natural for children to be depressed.

How to solve it? It's easier said than done.

In general, children with depressive tendencies had better have professional guidance.

In the process of growing up, children should gradually adapt to society and master various skills, which is related to their psychological state.

In addition to professional intervention, the simplest way in the family is to actively accompany.

Parents and teachers are required to have real emotional investment in their children. Take out the true state of the child you really love and interact with the child. There are requirements for active companionship: give children more affirmation.

How to do it: complaints, criticisms, accusations and punishments for children should be greatly reduced. More is to give recognition, acceptance and praise. When children's basic needs are met, their psychology will naturally change.

Constantly being affirmed and accepted, sincere, children will gradually form a good self-intention and form a good self-confidence state.

At the same time, in real life, adults and children will also encounter various problems. Some problems are an insurmountable gap for children, and we need to accompany them. Children with depressive tendencies, in particular, are particularly sensitive to external reactions. Whether you mean it or not, he can feel it. You should let the children feel love.

A look, an encouragement and a little gesture can make children feel love. When the child feels weak, we reach out and take him out.

It depends on whether parents and teachers can love my children, my students, show love in behavior and let children experience the feeling of being loved.

Many teachers use derogatory and abusive means, which will inevitably bring deprivation to children. They won't feel cared for and protected.

Children bear not only their own wishes, but also the wishes of society and parents. At this time, the child will be at a loss.

There are two ways for depressed children: seeking professional psychological help, which is not short-term and takes a long time to get out of depression: six months to one year; Patience and active companionship: acceptance, recognition, praise and guidance.

In real life, people who have been in love have this feeling. The problem of love is irrational, unreasonable and ambiguous. It is difficult for a person to say clearly whether he loves or not in a rational mode.

So everyone said that in love, the two sides began to reason, and your's love relationship was coming to an end.

There are three issues to consider:

what is love ?

Similar questions will be asked in similar courses on intimate relationships. what is love ? I can't say clearly. How does this love work? We lack more in-depth thinking on this issue.

What kind of satisfaction and needs do lovers pursue each other in their love relationship? Many people can only understand this problem, but they can't explain it.

What many of us can realize and express now, in the interaction of love relationship, we want to be satisfied, and more importantly, the subconscious. Many needs are not expressed at the conscious level, but more at the subconscious level.

The question is whether many people can explore their subconsciousness, understand their subconsciousness and know what their subconsciousness wants through interaction with others.

When dealing with marriage, there is such a scene. The wife has a strong complaint and resentment against her husband. She made many mistakes. During the analysis, it is found that the wife's requirements for her husband are two levels. One level is the love relationship between them, and we are husband and wife. The other level is the subconscious level. She needs her husband and father's love, and wants her husband to satisfy the lack of father's love.

You asked your husband to take on two things, and he didn't know how to do it, which made him very wronged.

Similarly, the husband's criticism of his wife, on the one hand, requires her to perform her duties, on the other hand, requires her to play the role of mother.

The reasons for these two situations are the same.

When we talk about this problem, is the satisfaction we are pursuing in this love relationship something that you are unconscious of?

In a love relationship, it is easy for one party to idealize the other, that is, he has an idealized model of his lover, which he projects on his partner and then beautifies. When conflict occurs, he can't accept an imperfect partner, which will lead to strong inner conflict and emotional out of control.

In love, in reality, one party falls in love with his imaginary object, so the gap between ideal and reality is huge. It takes courage to accept the reality. Many people can't accept this gap.

If the imagination is not satisfied, he thinks he is hurt and traumatized.

After in-depth analysis, I saw this problem.

The third question to consider is whether lovers' personalities are compatible. Although two people's personalities are inconsistent, they often adjust their state because of love. This is called personality fusion and personality fit.

How to solve the above problems? How many steps have you taken in the development of love? How do you feel?

Whether the emotional arousal caused by physical attraction has been completed. The arousal caused by appearance is superficial interaction, and many people stay at this level. After the completion of the first step, did it rise to the level of psychological interaction? For example, find your own sense of security from each other, find a sense of belonging and respect in love, find your own value, and find your own identity.

Find inner support between each other. This support is a very important issue. Whether there is mutual support rather than unilateral dependence on the psychological level, or excessive dependence on each other.

Between each other, one side has a very strong sense of dependence on the other, and he even uses control and self-sacrifice to meet his own needs. If the other person feels dependent, he wants to get rid of this feeling.

The performance of dependence is to control each other excessively. Only by maintaining continuous and all-round control with you can I feel safe.

There is no psychological support, only unilateral dependence.

Whether the values of both sides have a * * * sound. In the superficial interaction, both sides can hide their values. With the deepening of the relationship, mutual values emerged. After they appear, can they accept each other and tolerate each other, and can they produce * * *.

The reason why we can't go on is because of the inconsistent values and strong conflicts.

In real marriage, the most painful thing is the inconsistency of values. For the sake of children and the elderly, this marriage is just a dead letter. Every day is a war of attrition, which is cruel.

College students commit suicide, and abusive boys are also victims. Boys use emotional blackmail and emotional control. This must be directly related to his family, which created his model.

Female college students have not achieved spiritual independence and freedom, and emotional torture is tolerable. But mind control is unbearable and will eventually lead to death.

The couple didn't hum mentally, but they controlled their thoughts. This kind of love is very dangerous.

Whether your life is happy or not depends mainly on your emotional life.

What children hate most is learning, that is, their mothers let them study, study and study again.

From the psychological point of view, the root of this problem is the result of an inertial irrational concept and logic.

In the interaction of senior three children, I found that the children had no problem and the mothers had problems. Mothers only allow children's grades to rise, not to fall; Study time can only be increased, not decreased. Once it drops, mom will overreact. The state of excessive anxiety is projected on the child, and the child agrees with the mother's emotions.

Children's parents have a wrong understanding of learning. For example, the problem of making up lessons, if you don't make up, you can't keep up with the progress; In addition, children's time is affected and the price is very expensive. What is the effect of make-up lessons? For many children, children respond and don't listen.

Clarify the second question: How do parents understand learning? Learning is to cultivate a well-rounded person, not just to study for exams. Many parents are a very utilitarian concept, and their power is also very strong. In the process of learning, the feeling given to children is definitely not good.

Children don't like learning, will they be interested? At this time, learning has become a painful process. There is a more important problem hidden: many parents don't tell their children how important learning is to their children. Parents and children have differences on this issue.

Parents are very profound. After decades, how important learning is to their own lives is vividly reflected, and our children have just entered the society, and our children only stay on the surface of learning. It's very different from parents' feelings.

Many parents only see their children's resistance and don't see their children's desire for independence.

Re-shape children's learning feelings and cultivate their learning motivation.

How? A more effective way: parents can respect the law of education and return the deprived children. Be patient enough, let go of criticism and accusations, and help children correct a little. This process is very uncomfortable, but parents are responsible for this result.

There must also be external intervention, with the help of external forces, and must be a reliable consultant or teacher to help children establish their own ideas and good behavior habits. It's hard to do.

Some things, the conscious level and the subconscious level are in great conflict.

1. In real life, whether you admit it or not, we must accept the concept that there is no dignity without strength. It depends on your achievement motivation. Strength comes from one's own struggle. After you have a goal, will you implement it?

Strength comes from the improvement of your ability: cognitive ability and practical ability. Can be understood as your pattern. Strength comes from your own deep thinking about real life problems and your ability to solve problems.

Many people lack the ability to think about real life, and their strength comes from your sense of accomplishment. Have all these problems been solved? You have solved these problems, and I think this person's dignity will naturally exist.

2. Change your internal assessment and evaluation.

What really affects our feelings is each of us's evaluation and evaluation of ourselves.

This kind of evaluation is often in the subconscious, more in the subconscious. So in this part, we need professionals to help you analyze how you evaluate yourself. The core is the formation of self-image. (the concept of psychology)

3. The core of dignity. Strong spiritual motivation. What is a powerful spiritual motivation? Is your concept of life.

In parenting education, the most important question is, as parents and teachers, what kind of life beliefs have you implanted in your children? Or what kind of life philosophy did you give him? What kind of way of thinking? What kind of logical reasoning ability did you cultivate him?

Ideological education is continuous and gradually powerful. We emphasize making up lessons. But it ignores the formation of the concept of life. If there is no thought, what is the difference between him and a walking animal

Follow the law of the jungle. In this society, you should be good at competition and have the ability to compete. This society is not whether you accept competition or not, and it will not exist because you want to. This competition exists objectively. No one can escape.

In the real society, survival of the fittest is a social reality.

If you don't run, nobody will wait for you.

Whether you have strong spiritual motivation or not, and whether you have the idea of jungle law, determines what kind of value you have.

As a parent, you look back on your life and see what your life is like. Are you satisfied with your life? Are you on the same T team as your peers? Society is cruel, but it is also the most important driving force for social progress.