Boredom after marriage, he inevitably cheated. Perhaps this is also his struggle against reality.
Don't die, Shen Congwen
When the new China was about to be established, Shen Congwen committed suicide.
He put his hand into the wire plug and found that he was about to get an electric shock. His son, Shen Longzhu, let out a cry, unplugged the power in a hurry and kicked Shen Congwen away, saving his father's life.
Shen Congwen's eyes stared at his son, as if to say:
Why did you stop me?
The second time, he shut himself in his room, cut the wrist artery and the upper neck artery with a blade, and drank some kerosene before. Looking at the gurgling blood, Shen Congwen seems to think of something:
Let's finally die this time and see who can stop me.
Just then, someone broke through the window, jumped into the room, wrapped his hand and neck with a cloth, stopped the bleeding, and he was forcibly pulled back from the gate of hell.
Shen Congwen, who died twice, was sent to a mental hospital. Why is Shen Congwen, who is famous all over the world, so upset?
Many people say that this is related to Guo Moruo.
In 1930s, Shen Congwen criticized Guo Moruo, saying that he wrote novels for nothing, so he might as well write poems.
1948, Guo Moruo published Denying Reactionary Literature and Art, criticizing Shen Congwen as a "pink scholar" who wrote words unrelated to the revolution, and was "poisonous" and "insidious".
Knowing Guo Moruo's political position, Shen Congwen was afraid from the heart. He said:
"I was all wrong. All work confidence has collapsed. "
Moreover, a group of college students who have no independent thinking ability put up big-character posters in the university and hung up such big slogans as "Down with Shen Congwen", which brought an avalanche of mental pressure to Shen Congwen.
He said:
"I should rest, nerve has developed to the highest point I can adapt to. I will go crazy if I don't destroy it. "
Judging from the present situation, Shen Congwen should have suffered from anxiety, so he committed suicide twice.
Later, Lin's close friends learned about him. Although I didn't know what to do, I took him to Tsinghua's home and took good care of him.
Shen Congwen finally recovered and stopped looking for myopia.
Some people say that people who commit suicide are fragile. What can I do to live my life? Why is suicide so stupid?
Mr. Lu Xun said: the dreamer is happy, and the most painful thing in life is that there is no way to go after waking up.
Shen Congwen, who has written countless novels and is indifferent to the world, should be the one who woke up from his dream. However, after struggling in reality, he found that he had no way out.
There are two choices after being cornered: either not going or committing suicide; Or create the world and fight your way out for yourself.
Shen Congwen, who committed suicide twice, chose the first way. He is weak. Fortunately, the first road won't work. So he resolutely chose the second way.
Those who dare to take the second road are the real warriors. Shen Congwen's life is an alternate life of cowardice and strength. He is neither a god nor a giant. His life experience of fighting life has a lot of reference value for modern people.
Go and play, Shen Congwen.
Shen Congwen actually died once when he was a child.
At that time, he and his brother broke out in a rash at the same time. On a hot day, the two brothers had a high fever again, so they couldn't lie down and sleep because they would cough as soon as they lay down. I don't want to be hugged, because it will hurt all over.
Xiangxi Phoenix, with a nice name, is actually just a pool of stagnant water, and children have a rash, which is considered as either success or death. The adults had no hope, so they had to roll up the two brothers with bamboo poles and stand in the shade of the house, resigned to their fate.
There are two small coffins under the porch.
Surprisingly, the high fever of the two brothers gradually subsided. Later, my brother grew tall and strong, and my brother Shen Congwen became a "monkey spirit" when he got sick.
At an early age, he has already passed through the gate of hell, which seems to indicate that Shen Congwen's life is full of disasters;
As the saying goes, "there is a happy future if you live", which seems to indicate that Shen Congwen can still survive even if he is beaten by fate.
Shen Congwen was born in Xiangxi, facing the barren land, very wild and not afraid of anything.
Studying in a private school, boring traditional culture and education, he was not interested at all and sneaked out to play.
The next day, her husband asked him, "Why didn't you come to class yesterday?"
He said, "It was a pleasure to be at home yesterday."
It was easily fooled. When you can't cheat, you can't beat the teacher. The teacher didn't play enough, so he had to call his father when he got home.
Once, his father was so angry that he shouted to cut off his finger. He burst into tears at once, but he didn't cut it off at last. It turns out that no matter how big it is, just cry.
Later, a biographer wrote: Shen Congwen loved to cry in his later years. His son immediately corrected:
Why do you cry in your later years? My father loved to cry all his life.
One of the most vulgar curiosities of children is to look at dead bodies.
Sometimes Shen Congwen would sneak out and go to the slaughterhouse next to the prison outside Xicheng, where a group of bodies lay. As a child, he won't be afraid of these lying bodies, let alone think of the tragedy behind them.
He hit a corpse on the head with a stone; Sometimes poke with a wooden stick to see if he will still move.
Wild dogs gathered around the body, grinning. He stood at a distance, throwing stones prepared in advance with his schoolbag on his back, and it was his great pleasure to watch wild dogs running around in fear.
Although he often skips classes, Shen Congwen is really smart:
When a teacher draws an endorsement, he can cram, read it ten times or eight times, or even recite it word for word.
So he always felt:
Reading is too easy. Why do you spend so much time reading? It is better to live well!
(Shen Congwen in his youth)
Fight, Shen Congwen
Shen Congwen was bent on playing, and joined the army before finishing primary school.
Soldiers are actually bandits.
At that time, the world was in chaos and the situation was precarious. With the weapons in the army, I may still be able to save my life. Shen Congwen, who is weak, can only do paperwork in the army.
Later, he met Chen Quzhen, the king of western Hunan who had the greatest influence on his life.
Although Chen Quzhen is a soldier, he is also a man of temperament. He collected a large number of books and opened his study to Shen Congwen. There are many rare ancient books and cultural relics found from all over the country, which aroused Shen Congwen's strong curiosity.
Looking at this book, Shen Congwen gradually changed:
It turned out that he thought nature was big enough, but he didn't expect the world in the book to be bigger.
Later, he not only read ancient books, but also read various new books and magazines since the May 4th Movement-New Trends and Innovation. Shen Congwen struggled for four days and four nights, and finally got up the courage to tell Chen Quzhen:
"I want to study in Beijing. I have to go to a school, learn some questions I don't understand, see some refreshing worlds and listen to some refreshing worlds. "
I didn't expect Chen Quzhen to promise:
"You go there and have a look. This is money for you. If you want to come back, there is still a place for you to eat. "
It can be said that Chen Quzhen, a good boss, gave Shen Congwen the courage to try.
Shen Congwen didn't even graduate from primary school, so he dared to be a "drifting north" just to open his eyes. This kind of courage and insight is the root of his success.
In fact, it is precisely because we know nothing and have nothing that we dare to break the status quo. Playing out, life opens up another world; I can't get it out. I haven't lost anything anyway.
(Shen Congwen 1922.2 in Hunan Baojing Army)
Read a book, Shen Congwen
After arriving in Beijing, Shen Congwen went directly to his sister's house.
Brother-in-law saw this enthusiastic counterparts, thinking of his former self, and casually said:
"What are you doing in Beijing?"
Shen Congwen stare big eyes, eyes shining, hopefully said:
"I came to look for my ideal and read some books."
Brother-in-law jumped out with a wry smile and said:
"Are you here to study? What's the use of reading? I have been studying here for ten years, and I have learned from first-class schools to first-class universities. Now that I have graduated, I still don't know where to find a small job. "
After calm down, brother-in-law and the appearance of a pair of pity to persuade way:
"Now there are 10,000 college students in Beijing, and there is nothing to do after graduation. Even if I let you be a university professor, what can I do? Wages are equally low. It's not as promising as you in the country! "
Hearing this, Shen Congwen Shan Ye's blood was boiling in an instant, and he said passionately:
"I stay in the country? That's not watching them kill today and be killed tomorrow. What's the point? You can't learn anything I just ran out because I couldn't stay any longer!
I want to study, work-study, and read good books to save the country. This country will certainly fail at this rate! "
After chatting for a long time, my brother-in-law didn't persuade him to go back, but he still admired his courage.
Finally, he gave Shen Congwen a word:
"You both come for faith, don't lose faith. Because you have nothing but it! "
Attack, Shen Congwen.
Shen Congwen, who first arrived in Beijing, couldn't even use the new punctuation at that time. He took a round of college entrance examination in Beijing and failed.
Seeing his discomfiture, the enrollment teacher of Peking University kindly returned the registered 2 yuan money to him. But on him, there will always be only seven dollars and sixty cents left.
Holding the few dollars in his hand, Shen Congwen wanted to cry. He made up his mind:
Teach yourself, be sure to teach yourself! Write, you must write!
He is persistent in writing new articles and contributing to the newspaper, but fate is persistent in rejecting him again and again: except for occasional small tofu blocks, most of his articles sink into the sea.
Soon after, Shen Congwen heard about an editor at that time:
At an editing meeting, the editor-in-chief spread out a large stack of Shen Congwen's unused manuscripts and said, "This is the work of the great writer Shen Moumou." After that, he crumpled up the manuscript and threw it into the wastebasket.
The constant frustration is not that he has not considered changing careers.
Fortunately, Shen Congwen finally remembered what his brother-in-law had given him:
Since you have come for your faith, don't lose it.
Sorrow is sorrow, tears are tears. When the tears run dry, you should continue to write.
In addition to constantly contributing articles, Shen Congwen also wrote to the literary masters at that time, hoping to be appreciated.
One of the letters was sent to Yu Dafu.
Yu Dafu is at a low ebb in his life. He thinks he's miserable enough. I didn't expect anyone worse in Beijing. He decided to go and see the young man.
A push away the door of Shen Congwen's moldy little house, Yu Dafu was shocked:
It's freezing, and there is no stove to keep warm at home; A pale young man curled up in a corner, wearing only two clothes, running two lines of nose, wrapping his legs with a worn quilt, and writing while shaking on the table.
Shen Congwen saw Yu Dafu who almost broke into the house, just like a drowning man finally caught hold of the straw.
He quickly told Yu Dafu about his ambition and his miserable situation in Beijing ... as if he wanted to say enough at once that he didn't have a chance to say during his four or five years in Beijing.
Yu Dafu invited him to dinner at noon. After dinner, Yu Dafu gave the rest of the change to Shen Congwen. In the end also said 1:
"I have read your article. You should write well. "
Back to the broken house, Shen Congwen threw himself on the table with a wow and cried:
"Don't die, Shen Congwen, I believe that China's literary world will definitely have your name in the future!"
(Shen Congwen 1948 Summer in Peking University Dormitory)
Later Yu Dafu really introduced Shen Congwen to Xu Zhimo.
Xu Zhimo just came back from abroad and took over a literary magazine, which needs a lot of manuscripts. But he doesn't like what ordinary people write, so he can only write hard by himself.
Fortunately, providence made him discover Shen Congwen.
Shen Congwen has no experience in studying abroad and little knowledge, which is his weakness, but it also happens to be his strength.
His words, without translation, are just like the landscape of Xiangxi. It is natural and simple, even if it is only a sketch, it also has amazing wild interest.
In his early career, Shen Congwen accumulated a lot of materials, and with his natural imagination, he quickly created his own style and world.
Now it seems that Shen Congwen entered Beijing not only because of his courage, but also because of his accurate judgment of himself:
He can write different words from others and bring readers fresh enjoyment. This doomed him to leave a bright star mark in the Republic of China.
Love, Shen Congwen.
When Shen Congwen became more and more famous, Hu Shi invited him to give lectures in Chinese academies.
On the day of the first class, he was well prepared. As a result, his legs became weak as soon as he entered the classroom.
There are countless people sitting in the dark, and everyone has come to see the elegant demeanor of this cutting-edge writer.
Shen Congwen got cold feet and all he wanted to say was gone.
He and the students in the audience, look at me and stare blankly.
A minute passed and he was speechless.
After five minutes, he still can't talk.
As a result, ten minutes later, he began to talk, talking a lot at once, copying the outline on the blackboard while talking, and hurriedly finishing an hour's content in ten minutes.
He turned around again, looked at the students in the audience and stared at me in a daze.
The atmosphere is even more embarrassing.
So he picked up the chalk and wrote this line on the blackboard:
"This is my first class, and I am scared to see many of you."
The students in the class burst into laughter:
It's lovely that this talented writer is shy.
People who are jealous of Shen Congwen's reputation in the school found a quarrel:
"Such people also deserve to be a gentleman. He can't speak a word for more than ten minutes! "
Someone complained to hu shi, generous hu shi laughed it off:
"If you can't speak in class and the students don't bombard him, that's success."
As long as he doesn't have to talk, Shen Congwen is always confident.
Once he passed by the playground and saw a girl, dark and burly, playing the harmonica while walking on the runway. Finally, she tossed her hair, turned and walked back, still playing the harmonica.
He later learned that the girl's name was, and she was the daughter of the famous Zhang family in Suzhou.
Shen Congwen was ashamed of himself, but he didn't suppress his inner turmoil. He said, "When hunting, you should shoot lions, pick the stars in the sky and chase beautiful women."
When he first wrote to others, he simply said:
"I don't know why, I suddenly like you."
This bold statement didn't scare Zhang Zhaohe: Because there were too many people chasing her, Shen Congwen had the worst condition, and she nicknamed him "Frog 13".
Not so much a frog as a toad.
Although he didn't receive a reply, Shen Congwen didn't give up and wrote to each other letter by letter.
At the craziest time, Shen Congwen even said that he would rather die if she was not with him.
Zhang Zhaohe was really bored, so he ran to the headmaster, Hu Shi, and told him to stop. Hu Shi also advised Shen Congwen not to stop, as if he wanted to make a name for himself in Beijing.
Although Zhang Zhaohe can't stand his annoyance, but dig out his love letter, have to say that the level is not generally high:
"I have crossed bridges in many places, seen clouds many times and drunk many kinds of wine, but I have only loved one person at the right age."
"If it is your misfortune that I love you, then your misfortune is as long as my life."
……
Passionate, anyone can't resist it.
During the summer vacation, Shen Congwen even went to Suzhou to see her, which successfully won the favor of the Zhang family and finally made him fall in love with him.
For four years, Shen Congwen wrote a love letter for four years, and finally got the favor of the goddess, drank the wedding banquet, and finally lived a happy life that he boldly imagined.
Shortly after their marriage, Shen Congwen wrote the greatest work of his life-Border Town, in which besides continuing to describe the unique scenery of western Hunan, there appeared a pure and lovely heroine-Cui Cui.
This dark-skinned, healthy and innocent girl is based on Zhang Zhaohe.
(Shen Congwen 1935 took a photo with his wife Zhang Zhaohe in Suzhou in the summer)
Deception, Shen Congwen
However, although Cui Cui looks like Zhang Zhaohe, she has a natural vitality that Zhang Zhaohe does not have.
As a good girl, Zhang Zhaohe's reason is more than passion, and he is incompatible with Shen Congwen's spiritual world;
Shen Congwen likes to listen to Nuo Opera, which is dumb and ridiculous. Zhang Zhaohe, who loves to listen to Kunqu Opera, doesn't listen at all.
Shen Congwen likes collecting antiques. Zhang Zhaohe felt very strange. He has no money. Why does he collect so many antiques? He even said that he was "not a gentleman pretending to be a gentleman".
Shen Congwen is generous and often helps his friends with money. Zhang Zhaohe worries about the expenses at home all day, and he can't stand his "playing the fat man in the face".
Shen Congwen reluctantly cried:
"You don't love me at all, but I wrote a love letter!"
Shen Congwen, who seems docile but arrogant, has been disappointed with the real marriage. I can see that he is unwilling.
Once, he visited a friend and met a young woman named Gao at her home.
Gao knew he would come. She admired this talented writer and deliberately dressed herself according to the women in Shen Congwen's novels. Even her behavior is the same as in the novel. Shen Congwen was shocked again and couldn't control himself.
The goddess has a heart and the king has a dream. He inevitably fell in love with Gao.
The prototype of the heroine in Border Town has not only a wife, but also a height.
He once implicitly said:
Border Town is the result of his being tempted by extramarital affairs and escaping from reality, and it is the sustenance of his feelings.
Traditionally, Shen Congwen revealed his love life in his novels. He has a novel called Looking at the Rainbow, which is about a male writer visiting his lover on a snowy night.
It's chilly in spring outside the window, and the indoor fire is warm. Two like-minded people reached great harmony in life in warmth.
I don't know if this is Shen Congwen's personal experience or his usual beautiful imagination.
On the one hand, passion, on the other hand, reality, he was embarrassed.
So he had to visit his good friend Lin, hoping to get some guidance. Lin certainly understands Shen Congwen's situation, but she can only say:
"Life is like this, you have to learn to resolve it slowly."
(Shen Congwen 193 1.6 took a photo with Lin in Jingdayuan)
Eight years later, Gao chose to leave and took the initiative to sever this doomed relationship.
Shen Congwen finally chose to grow old with Zhang Zhaohe.
When reality and ideal conflict with each other, he can only commit himself to reality.
After Shen Congwen's death, Zhang Zhaohe sorted out her husband's manuscript and suddenly understood something:
"From my words, is it happiness or misfortune? There is no answer. He is not perfect, but he is a rare kind person. "
In fact, neither Gao nor Shen Congwen himself can clearly define who Shen Congwen really is:
When he gives in to his ideal too much, reality will be hurt; When he gives in to reality too much, his ideal will be hurt.
All his life, he has been accepting and rejecting; Compromise and intransigence.
This is the tenacity in his character.
This is Shen Congwen's misfortune and his luck.
(Shen Congwen and Zhang Zhaohe in his later years)
Rebirth, Shen Congwen
It is Shen Congwen's flexible and changeable personality that enabled him to survive the mental crisis of 1949.
Because of Guo Moruo's powerful political influence and the unsmooth family life, Shen Congwen stopped writing novels.
Imagine a great genius who was famous for his novels in the first half of his life. He also conceived several great books in his mind, some of which had already started, and suddenly he couldn't write any more, which was really fatal.
However, only narrow-minded people will have only one life.
Shen Congwen could not write novels, but found another life by studying cultural relics.
As early as the reign of Chen Quzhen, he discovered the vitality of our country from one antique after another:
A nation's traditional culture is condensed in artifacts.
How broad this nation is, how broad its artifact culture is.
Therefore, his work has undergone earth-shaking changes:
Other great writers, Mao Dun, Ba Jin and Lao She, have all become "people's artists", going abroad all day and flying around;
Only he, still living in Beijing, volunteered to enter the history museum to do research:
"Go out before dawn, buy a baked sweet potato to warm your hands in Beixinqiao, take the tram to Tiananmen Square, the door won't open, just sit down and look at the stars and the moon in the sky, open the door and go in again.
Going home at night, sometimes it rains heavily, that is, putting on a broken sack. "
No one understood why he did it;
Shen Congwen, who doesn't write articles, seems to be completely out of date.
But he himself said:
"I seem to have discovered myself for the first time."
Therefore, you can imagine how proud he was when he reported his career change results:
"I should seriously report to you. Now it is roughly estimated that apart from the history of clothing and silks and satins, I have sold more than 100 thousand pieces of silks and satins;
The history of furniture development was recorded;
The development history of lacquer craft was recorded.
The previous history of landscape painting was taken down;
The history of ceramic processing technology was recorded;
The application history of fans and lamps has been recorded;
The history of stone processing technology was recorded;
For three thousand years, the development history of horse application and equipment has been recorded;
The development data of music and dance performances have been recorded ... "
All these achievements were earned by his eyesight and hard work in a small room of 10 square meter.
This rebirth is stronger than his previous life of writing novels: words are nourished by his spiritual life, and once the spiritual world is depressed, the quality of words will be greatly reduced;
Cultural relics nourished his spiritual life. His spiritual world has been greatly expanded and his vitality has been nourished by his admiration and perception of exquisite cultural relics.
The so-called "settlement" of the ancients was probably Shen Congwen at this time.
Sing, Shen Congwen
Shen Congwen is really a man with a strong heart.
At the height of the Cultural Revolution, he met his nephew Huang Yongyu. He pretended not to see it and walked past his nephew. At that moment, he said four words without looking up:
"Be calm!"
One day, at an interrogation meeting, someone put a slogan behind his back-"Down with Shen Congwen and against * * *" scholars. At the end of the conference, he tore down the slogan himself, read it several times and said:
"That calligraphy is outrageous. It's embarrassing to carry such poor calligraphy on your back! People who write should practice hard. "
Down to the May 7th cadre school in Xianning, Hubei Province to do hard work, he wrote to his nephew and said:
"There are lotus flowers everywhere in this area, which are blooming brilliantly."
In this place, in this mood, Shen Congwen wrote a history of clothing of 2 1 10,000 words only by memory without any reference materials.
The process of writing a book is too brain-consuming, and I have done a lot of physical activities. Shen Congwen can't stand it and needs to apply for painkillers.
After filling out the form and taking a few pills, Shen Congwen turned and walked, singing all the way, skipping like an old urchin.
Shen Congwen once told students:
"In this world, someone may build a pavilion on the beach or on the water. That's not me.
I just want to build a small Greek temple, choose a small piece of land as the foundation and pile it up with hard stones.
Exquisite, strong, symmetrical and small in size, it is my ideal building. This temple is dedicated to mankind. "
Everyone's life, like Shen Congwen, should build their own "small temple". Often under the attack of reality and ideal, our lives are broken.
But since there is no way out, let's dry our blood and tears first and adjust slowly. One day, when we see the "small temple" built by ourselves, we will sincerely sigh:
Oh, that's me.