Li Chunlei

She used to have a pair of elastic legs

When studying in Handan Experimental Primary School, Guo Hui likes dancing, long-distance running, wearing beautiful skirts, running and jumping, and the wings of the wind brush her ears and legs, flying around like Snow White in fairy tales. She is also the class health committee member. The classroom is on the fourth floor. Clean the glass. Her legs were wrapped around the window frame like a monkey, and her body leaned out of the window and tottered. The teacher's face turned pale with fear, but she was smiling. ...

Once physical education class climbed a telephone pole in a competition. She couldn't climb fast and cried. In the evening, her father taught her how to exert her strength on the playground. 10 the toes of the garlic elf listened carefully, got the message, embraced each other together, and went up as soon as the legs were hard, as dexterous as a cat at home.

At that time, her dream was to be a dancer.

The turning point of everything is May 9th, 198 1. She is just 1 1 years old, in the fifth grade of primary school.

That morning, the bright sunshine and gentle spring breeze made the world quiet. Physical education class practices long jump in class. She sprained her ankle carelessly, and it hurts faintly. Cowpea is as big as scarlet.

When I was sleeping at night, my careful mother found out and sighed with distress. Most mothers in the city love their children so much that they take her to the hospital.

How regretful my mother was in her later years. If you don't go to the hospital, the child's foot will heal itself in a few days. But this time, I threw my only daughter into a black bottomless pit.

The first hospital said it was synovitis, and it was closed after three or four injections, and the redness did not subside; The second one is a Chinese medicine hospital. It is recommended to use traditional Chinese medicine and drink bitter water. The third hospital is the authoritative hospital in this city. The old authority with white hair and glasses looked at it roughly and said it was rheumatoid arthritis and intramuscular injection of hormones. After continuous injection of 17 for more than a month, not only did it not get better, but it also became swollen and had a hairy beard on its mouth. She was so scared that she cried. Her parents tried to ask questions carefully, but the authority was beyond doubt. She suddenly changed color, insisting that it was a normal reaction and should continue taking the medicine. She also prescribed 10 injections of hormones. My parents shuddered and ran to the door.

The biopsy results of another hospital finally came out, which was synovial tuberculosis.

Oh, my God, how did this damn thing get possessed? Why did you catch the bud of flower season?

Tuberculosis was an incurable disease in the past, but now it is a new era and can be cured, so treat it.

The threshold of several hospitals in Beijing is too high to be listed. Turning to the south, my hometown was in Changsha, Hunan Province, and finally I was admitted to a local professional hospital through an acquaintance.

She can still walk at this time. The doctor said optimistically that before long, you will jump up as before.

The naive little girl smiled, and the Swan Lake in her heart opened again.

She has been injected with hormones for several months, and tuberculosis has spread in the body, but the treatment policy determined by the doctor is conservative treatment, and no photos have been taken. At that time, the medical level of the whole country was still relatively low. Making movies is a privilege, and you have to go through the back door.

In this way, the insidious black poisonous bacteria burned and multiplied in the bone marrow, and a honeycomb-shaped lesion was built. It's just that poor her, her family and authoritative doctors don't know.

In a few months. I had a dull pain in my lumbar spine, so I asked for a film examination. The doctor smiled and said, nothing. Children in the north are not used to the humidity in the south. It's good to stand up.

The opportunity just slipped away.

One day in June, 1982, 10, I suddenly had a high fever and never stopped.

One night three days later, she suddenly asked her mother who was accompanying her bed, "Mom, where is my body?" Where's my leg? "

Mother touched her leg and said in surprise, "Isn't it here?"

"No, I can't feel it!" Guo Hui twisted her abdomen and legs with her hands, but it didn't hurt at all. Want to turn over, except for the head and arms, don't listen to the command. Moreover, the urine and urine also unconsciously flowed out.

In that room, she knew she was completely paralyzed!

The sky fell, the ground sank, and the mother and daughter embraced each other, crying, desperately pulling their hair and pulling it off. The doctor went home and couldn't get in touch at all. In the southern night sky, mother and daughter wander helplessly and hysterically.

Overnight, my mother was white-haired and wrinkled, and became a stupefied Xianglinsao.

The hospital quickly took a film, only to find that bone tuberculosis caused serious deformity of vertebrae 7 to 9, which oppressed nerves and damaged some of them. There is nothing the hospital can do, so we have to persuade them to find another way and go to Beijing for surgery.

Staying in the hospital is tantamount to waiting for death, but it is tantamount to dying after a long journey to Beijing. Desperate, her family had to carry her into Changsha People's Hospital.

This is a thoracotomy. The blade was cut from the armpit. Under the cold scalpel, her body was cut like a zipper. She even clearly heard the sound of her muscles and bones cracking, and felt warm blood gurgling out. What about her dream? Where are her wings? Where are her feathers? Now, not only the feathers have been pulled out, but also the wings have been cut off. 12-year-old girl, looking at the white ceiling and the busy figure of doctors under the lamp, endured great pain and sadness in life!

The operation only cleared the tuberculosis focus, but high paraplegia is certain.

In any case, parents don't believe that their daughter will go on like this forever and will not give up.

1985 1, her parents finally sent her to the most famous bone tuberculosis hospital in China, located in Tongxian County, Beijing, for a second thoracotomy.

This thoracotomy was cut from the back, and it was as bloody as mud. Let the doctor kill you.

Six months after the operation, her body was implanted with a fixed plaster again. Take rifampicin and other bactericidal drugs every day, and lose erythromycin for five or six hours at a time, causing severe pain. She endured and gritted her teeth. She has been used to pain for a long time. She even longs for pain. Pain exists, pain is awakening, pain is happiness, but most of her body doesn't even feel pain. As long as she can stand up, no, she can stand up. She persisted in the pain, persisted ... she always believed that there was hope for persistence until the end.

However, the shadow of hope did not come at last.

Guo Hui's world is only two square meters, with her arm as the radius. Even the curtains are close at hand, she can't open or close them. She can only lie on her back in bed, but not on her side, turn over or sit up. Think about it, what can a person with spinal failure do?

During the day, she was the only one at home. Both parents have gone to work. For their own sake, the accumulated debts at home are more than 20,000 yuan, and the monthly salary of their parents does not exceed that of 200 yuan. There is no TV set at home, so she can only lie down. ...

"Bang, bang ..." Someone knocked at the door, but she couldn't open it.

Suddenly I smelled a bad smell. I pooped, and she didn't feel it.

On one occasion, the ceiling and walls shook violently when someone was decorating upstairs. When she was young, she thought it was an earthquake. She was so scared.

Crying, trying to escape, but unable to move

There is a snow-white cat at home. Kittens go in and out of the room, go up and down, sleep carefree and sing freely. My life is not as good as a cat.

What's the point of living like this? She thought about suicide, but she didn't even have the ability to kill herself.

Her parents realized her mental state variation and arranged for her to live in the living room. In this way, people at home can chat and sit together to eliminate loneliness. I bought her a radio and talked with her day and night.

Some friends upstairs come to see her from time to time. After knocking at the door, she couldn't open the door, so they stood outside and talked to her, sang songs and talked about school.

She lay on her back in bed and listened quietly, with a wry smile on her face.

The faith of life is like an oil lamp, swaying and lighting up. ...

Since life can't die, why waste time

So she decided to start self-study, and she picked up the primary school textbooks again.

However, she is a cripple who has no ability to turn over. She can't sit up, she can only lie down and read with her hands up.

In this way, she started an incredible climb without legs.

And her parents. Mother works day and night, carrying water to feed, combing her hair and washing her face. She has bedsores and her back is festering, and her mother always helps her turn over. Incontinence, quilt mattresses need to be cleaned every day. The debts at home are piling up, and almost all the wages are used to pay off the debts, and even a washing machine can't afford it. Mother is a never-ending washing machine, which washes the night white and the winter warm. After a long time, all the bones and muscles in her hands have been deformed, and nine fingers have become tortuous roots.

My father graduated from Zhejiang University in his early years. He likes music and plays the violin. Now, all the musical instruments are hidden under the bed, and their strings are broken by cats. He learned to inject and became his daughter's health care doctor. He massages and bends her legs once or twice every night until 2000 times ... Stubborn parents always hope that one day, their daughter will suddenly stand up and say with a smile, "Dad, Mom, I'm fine, I'm going to school." Then he skipped out of the door.

But what a fantasy.

With the sound of mother rubbing clothes and father massaging, Guo Hui lay on his back and taught himself all the junior and senior high school courses in three years. The most incredible thing is that she has worked out all the principles and formulas that need experiments in physical chemistry.

The world in my chest is getting bigger and bigger, with sunshine and laughter.

She also fell in love with literature involuntarily, and read all the classical poems and foreign masterpieces. In the dense art, she realized the true meaning of life and inadvertently found the secret way to the future. ...

To live, you must sit up first.

Sitting up is such a huge project.

There is no consciousness below the chest, and the spine can't exert force. It is driven only by arm strength. But now she is a yellow girl who has never seen the sun, just like a broken bean sprout in a greenhouse. Mother put a quilt under her back, one layer, two layers, three layers … every day, four minutes, five minutes, six minutes at a time … more and more. I bought two dumbbells to practice her arm strength. Sometimes, my parents work together and wrestle with her. ...

She is used to looking up. When she just sat up, her eyes were blurred and scattered, and the world in front of her was like a group of shaking lenses.

This process has been adapted for a whole year, and she can finally sit up. The world is in its place in her eyes and order is restored.

She hasn't been out for years. She's going out!

Her parents bought her a handcart, and she always pushed it out to bask in the sun. In her hard life, she smelled the warmth of the sun for the first time and tasted the sweetness of the breeze. The world is really beautiful. The bright, crisp and fragrant sunshine moistened her yellowed skin and quietly flushed. Like a delicate mimosa, her leaves spread out, and she blended into nature and revived.

Sometimes she can go out by herself. Although she stumbled, it was a step for her to enter the society again. ...

Once, when I was walking on the school playground, I met my father's colleague, Teacher Zhang. Teacher Zhang said that the school recently organized an English self-taught college class. In her case, she can sign up.

The classroom for junior college classes is on the fifth floor. How did Guo Canhui get up there? Only with the support of parents. My parents are sixty years old,

Years of fatigue, malnutrition, skinny, weighing only a hundred kilograms, not as heavy as her. Every time, my father carried it to the second floor and then to my mother's back. After my mother carried it to the third floor, my father hugged it again. After returning to the classroom, Guo Hui couldn't sit, so her parents squeezed her body in the middle with four desks. Often incontinence, how to do? The best way is not to eat or drink from the day before, but my daughter is hungry and thirsty, and my mother is heartbroken. Therefore, she never completely stopped eating and drinking water. Every class, my mother waits at the door of the toilet with her daughter's special wooden stool. Every time I have a break, I rush in and carry my daughter into the toilet. ...

All the other students graduated from ordinary high schools and studied English systematically. Only she is at the primary school level. At first, I couldn't understand and couldn't keep up. I am so angry that I want to cry.

Because it is an adult self-taught exam, all the participants have stable jobs, so during class, most of these able-bodied people are laughing and absent-minded, and there are too many temptations outside the window. Only she is serious and careful, like eating mulberries in spring, and everything becomes the warp and weft in her stomach.

There are two foreign teachers from America in the school: Inge and Laurie. Guo Hui became good friends with them, and soon her spoken English improved greatly. Like running water, she has merged into the sea of English.

In the graduation exam, only Guo Hui passed all the exams at one time among more than 30 students in the class.

Then, she applied for the self-taught undergraduate course.

Two years later, under the burden of parents, it passed smoothly.

1996 At the beginning of this year, Shandong University started English postgraduate courses in this city. She wanted to sign up, but it took three years to find out that the cost was 30 thousand to 40 thousand, which was an astronomical figure for her foreign debt-ridden family. But parents are always ashamed of their daughters. If they hadn't made a mountain out of a molehill and sent their children to the hospital, their daughter would have graduated from college by now. Bullying my teeth, I borrowed 17000 and paid the down payment in advance.

1July, 1998, all graduate courses were completed, and Japanese as a second foreign language was also passed. Just as preparing to apply for a master's degree, the State Higher Education Commission issued the latest regulations. According to the new regulations, it will be three years before she is eligible to apply.

At this time, she has been wandering in the English world for several years and has a strong love for English poetry translation. She has a natural love for China's classical poetry. After getting in touch with the original British and American poems, she always felt that the Chinese translation lacked beauty. This used to be a wonderful world.

She is determined to go her own way in this world, and she has found her own stage.

At the end of June 2002, after three years, she went to Shandong University to defend her degree, and her thesis was entitled "The Rhythm of Poetry Translation".

This is really a trip. Accompanied by parents, younger brother, wheelchair and luggage, there is also the most important partner, that is, mother's washboard.

From junior college to undergraduate, and then to graduate students, Guo Hui is most afraid of going out for exams.

What she fears is not the result of the exam, but the process of the exam. Every exam, parents have to accompany them all the way, pushing wheelchairs, because they can't take a taxi, so they have to walk. When you arrive at the test center, you should carry it upstairs by yourself. What should I do if I can't sit at a single table in the national formal exam? Push the wheelchair up.

The trouble is far more than that. How to answer questions in a wheelchair? In order to solve this problem, my father, who graduated from the civil engineering department of the university, tried many methods, but none of them succeeded. The wheelchair is too narrow to hold the board, and it is easy to slide down. Later, I suddenly found that turning my mother's washboard upside down and placing it horizontally on the iron shelf of the wheelchair turned out to be neither too big nor too small, neither too wide nor too narrow, just the most stable desk.

It is a rare fate in the world that mother and daughter depend on each other for bad karma.

Guo Hui shook her wheelchair with both hands and quietly rushed into the defense scene. In the face of several senior judges headed by the famous professor Li Yuchen, she felt uneasy.

"What is poetry?" The defense has begun.

"All literature is poetry"-what a bold answer!

"If you were given a Chinese poem, would it be difficult for you to translate it into an English poem with English meter?"

"Difficult, but I can translate it well."

"Mr. Mao Dun thinks that poetry is untranslatable. If you translate, don't you do it knowing you can't do it? " The most acute problem came out.

She smiled gently: "Mr. Mao Dun said this after reading the poem" Crow "by American poet Poe. I have translated this group of poems, and now I want to read two of them aloud. The original poem has six lines per verse, rhyming with the door, yours and so on. The poem I translated also has six lines, which are said, written and rhymed. Listen, teachers:' It was a boring night, and I was tired of thinking/turning over a strange and forgotten legend ...' "

Mom is waiting outside the door. Two hours later, Professor Li Yuchen came out and asked, "Are you Guo Hui's grandmother?"

"No, I'm her mother." Mother mumbled something, worried that something had happened.

Professor Li looked at it awkwardly for a while, then quickly stepped forward, held her hand and said excitedly, "Thank you for training a good daughter. This is the best thesis defense we have heard in ten years ... "

Glittering tears streaming down, reflecting the glittering silver hair, this is a happy magnolia!

A month later, Shandong University officially awarded Guo Hui a master's degree in English.

At the end of 2002, Guo Hui checked the enrollment of doctoral students in 2003 on the Internet, and found that four universities all had majors similar to their own. So she tentatively wrote a letter to each of the four tutors.

A week later, only Professor Shen Hong from Peking University wrote back. The doctoral supervisor who returned from studying in Oxford University welcomed Guo Hui to apply for the exam and "insisted on selecting the best candidates". As for disability, he didn't mention anything. Professor Shen told her his email address.

The national unified doctoral examination is in March, and even if preparation is started now, it will take less than 100 days. I not only want to learn French well as a second foreign language, but also read dozens of professional books, which I don't have. What should we do?

My brother went to bookstores in Beijing, but there were still 30 books missing.

You can only download and print from the internet.

But it's hard to print tens of millions of words of information.

My parents borrowed a stylus printer from school and bought three ribbons and 20 packs of printing paper.

For three days and two nights in a row, the poor printer screamed, so tired that his head was hot and his brain was swollen and he was panting. He has just printed tens of thousands of pages. ...

Guo Hui plunged into the sea of books and started the final sprint.

Don't think that Guo Huicong is talented. No, even by her own admission, she is just a person with average intelligence. Her characteristics are concentration, persistence and no distraction. She is a severely disabled person. Compared with the pain of two thoracotomy, learning is really enjoyable for her. And she has no other hope and way out, and she has gathered all the light of life into one focus.

Sincerely, a stone opened and a heavy door opened in front of her. ...

On March 22nd, Guo Hui arrived at Peking University accompanied by his whole family.

On the day of the exam, when Guo Hui's parents carried her into the examination room again, because the invigilator didn't know that she was severely disabled, she had posted her exam number on the exam table, but she couldn't sit behind the table at all. What shall we do? At this moment, my mother took out the washboard that had already been prepared and put it in the wheelchair. In an instant, a special desk was formed. However, this is against the discipline of the examination room. The invigilator immediately asked the director of the test center, and the director of the test center immediately asked the recruitment leader. After the emergency consultation, the test number on the desk was removed and re-posted on the washboard.

Guo Hui suddenly saw that the washboard seemed to be a pair of bony and deformed hands, calling for himself and helping himself. She seemed to hear her father's heavy breathing again and saw her mother's sweaty face ... she dared not think of anything else. She quickly bent down, picked up a pen and walked into another warm world, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Byron and Xue.

Lai, Eliot and Jonson are all smiling at themselves. ...

This is really a unique test bench in the world!

After the exam, Guo Huicai knew that the other candidates who applied for the exam with her were all professors or associate professors majoring in English in well-known universities in China, and one of them was a master tutor in a university as famous as Peking University, in order to win the qualification of doctoral tutor. Professor Shen has only one enrollment quota.

She was discouraged, regretted it, and scolded herself for shaking the tree and overreaching herself.

Soon, the score came out Unexpectedly, she actually got the first place in the exam, and all the scores were much higher than the second place. She is really happy and sad. I am glad that my years of hard work have not been in vain. Sadly, the famous professors in these famous schools have such high status that you are a teacher. How can it be worse than a little girl who hasn't graduated from elementary school?

But trouble also knocked at the door.

Peking University has never enrolled such highly disabled doctoral students for a hundred years, but since last year, the state has clearly stipulated that colleges and universities should not refuse to recruit disabled students under any pretext. Faced with this unprecedented problem, Peking University hesitated.

A person in charge of the admissions office tried to dissuade Guo Hui, but it was not easy to say, so he tried to have several online conversations with her.

"Peking University is an old building with many platforms, and wheelchairs are impassable. Can life take care of itself? "

"As far as I know, many buildings in Peking University have barrier-free facilities, and I only need to slightly modify a few access platforms. Moreover, my mother can accompany me. "

"Dr. Peking University is not good at graduation, and many people have postponed it. Can your physical and economic conditions withstand it? "

"Peking University is my childhood yearning, and translation is my greatest wish. I have no formal education since I was a child, and I want to realize my dream here ... "

"We can't admit you because you failed the physical examination."

"As far as I know, (gymnast) Sang Lan is also a paraplegic disabled person. He was admitted to Peking University School of Journalism (undergraduate) last year ... "

……

At this time, Professor Shen Hong stood up and wrote to the school: "In foreign countries, I have never heard of the precedent of being rejected by universities because of disability ..."

After weighing in many ways, the Admissions Office of Peking University finally extended a welcome hand to Guo Hui.

That night, the honorable person in charge sent the last email to Guo Hui: "I admire you personally, and Peking University admires you. Welcome to study in Peking University! "

That night, Professor Shen sent photos and phone numbers of his family to the only new disciple on the Internet.

That night, the new moon was like a lamp, and people in the spring breeze were dancing. Guo Hui stayed up all night with tears streaming down her eyes.

……

Peking University is really an inclusive institution. When Guo Hui reported for duty, the school leaders made an exception and assigned her a separate dormitory, allowing her family to accompany her. What moved Guo Hui even more was that the next day, the terraces in the rooms, corridors, toilets, classrooms and other places where she frequented were all razed and replaced with gentle passages adapted to wheelchair walking. ...

I interviewed Guo Hui in Peking University campus. We ate in Yanyuan, visited the unnamed lake and went to the library to look up information. She shook her wheelchair with both hands, and her long hair fluttered freely, as cheerful as a fish in the water and as free as a bird in the forest. ...

This is the dance of her life.