When listening to other people's jokes, I feel funny and cold, but when I watch them, I laugh too hard. Have you ever had such an experience? The following collected some homophonic jokes about Chinese characters, hoping to make you laugh.
The homophonic joke of Chinese characters is 1 1. The second rabbit said, "My mother calls me a rabbit, which is nice!" "
The pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" " "
The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" " "
The chicken said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "
2. Little Nutbrown hare said, "I am a son of a bitch!"
The pig said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "
The chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" " "
The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "
No.3.0 sparring partner said, "outsiders call me zero escort, which is nice!"
No.65438 +0 sparring partner said, "It's good to have an outsider!"
No.2 sparring partner said, "It's good for outsiders to call me the second escort!"
No.3 sparring partner said, "You talk, let's go first!"
4. The cat said to me, "I'm your grandmother's cat. It looks good!"
The dog said to me, "I'm your grandmother's dog. It sounds nice!" " "
The fish said to me, "I'm your grandmother's fish. It sounds nice!" " "
The bear said, "You talk, I'll go first!" " "
5. Lang Ke said, "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!"
The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!"
The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" "
The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first!"
6. Jane Zhang said: "Fans who worship me say my idol is English."
He Jie said: "My fans say my idol is Jay."
Said: "fans who worship me say: my idol is constant."
Chris Lee said: "You talk, I'll go first!"
7. The senior math teacher said: I teach senior math this semester.
The college physics teacher said: I teach big this semester.
The analog electronics teacher said that I teach analog electronics this semester.
The socio-economic teacher said: You talk, I'll go first.
8. Peking University said: I am from Peking University.
Tianjin University said: I am older.
Shanghai University said: I went to college.
Xiamen University said: You talk, I'll go first!
9. General Li Zongren said: I am a man of benevolence!
General fu said to him: I am just!
General Zuo Quan said: I have this right!
General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first!
10. The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is a wooden door.
Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said that my door is made of plastic.
The door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said: My door is a brick door.
Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first!
1 1. Bai Yu said: My name is White.
Jade jade said, my name is jasper.
Redjade said, My name is Redjade.
Xing Yu said: You talk, I'll go first!
12. The students in Teachers College said: I am from Teachers College.
The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute"
The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges.
The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first.
China homophonic joke 2 1. Today, I went to a restaurant with my friends and found a fly in the soup I ordered. I called the waiter angrily, "Why is there a fly in your soup?"
Who knows the waiter said, "Why are you so stingy? How much soup can a fly drink from you? "
2. Four Tang Priests and apprentices arrived in a big city. Wukong borrowed food, Friar Sand packed his bags, and Bajie walked his horse.
In the evening, Pig returned empty-handed, and the Tang Priest asked, "Where is Bai?"
Pig said, "I was detained."
Tang Priest asked why? The pig said, "It farted."
The Tang Priest asked, "You won't be detained for farting, will you?"
Bajie said: its tail gas exceeds the standard.
China homophonic joke 3 Eat jiaozi.
One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.
The beautiful service lady came to ask, my friend always missed any opportunity to practice Chinese and rushed to say, "How much is a sleep?" ?
The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.
Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.
He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?
The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"
"That's the yellow one!"
Eat standing up
A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."
She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"
She felt confused and wronged. She said, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "
Do what you see.
Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens. The tenant rented his field, but he had to be given a chicken first.
A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about renting the land for the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty, opened his eyes and said, "There are no three kinds of land." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.
As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"
Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"
The landlord replied: "I just said' nonsense', and now this sentence is accidental."
Chinese homophonic joke 4 eat a catty
The teacher asked Xiaoming to make a sentence with "eat a catty".
Xiao Ming said: I was walking on the road and saw a pile of cow dung. Be startled (by a kilo).
The teacher praised: "Massive, massive ..."
There is only one channel.
The boss of the dormitory has a new girlfriend, who gave him a new walkman. The boss looked at the instructions, fiddled with them and said to himself, "Everything is fine, but there is only one channel!" " ".Old three watched martial arts in the upper bunk and asked," Isn't one enough? "The boss said," I want to have one more channel, so I can connect to the computer. "
4600 yuan for a sexual intercourse
At the beginning of the new semester, several students in my dormitory and I went to the department to pay tuition. A notice was posted at the door of the department office: this year, a unified fee will be imposed, and sexual intercourse will cost 4,600 yuan, and no accommodation fee will be charged.
Today is a big day for two students.
When I joined the league at school, it was just me and another girl. When the secretary of our League branch presided over the meeting, he said without hesitation, "Today is a big day for two students …" The rest of the students laughed their heads off.
How much is a night's sleep (bowl) in jiaozi?
Lao Dong, a native of Henan, came to the south for breakfast. As soon as I entered the door, I asked, "Miss, how much is it to sleep (bowl) in jiaozi for one night?"
The waiter was very unhappy and said, "No, only steamed bread."
Old Dong said, "Oh, just touch the bun."
The waiter was so angry that he scolded, "Rogue!" "
Lao Dong was extremely surprised: "Six hairs? Too cheap! "
Trust me if you can. Let me see how long you are.
Once, two girls came to our dormitory to play with tractors. A group of two girls, a group of five elder brothers and me. Girls always stink, but they are lucky. They won a few hands and began to smile. Finally, once it was the fifth person's turn to sit in the village. They showed the hearts as their owners, and I turned them into squares. At this time, I saw the fifth strike the table and said excitedly, "There is a pair at last!" " Drag them out first, and then get it done slowly! "At this moment, a girl persistently said," Don't worry if you have the skill! "! I want to see how long you are! "
China homophonic joke 5 1, ten bamboos and one leaf.
There was a poet named Wang in the Northern Song Dynasty. He was very arrogant when he was young. I'm a little ignorant. I always feel capable. One day, he went to a garden to play and saw a bamboo forest. Bamboo is green and looks good. Wang Qi saw it and immediately thought of a joint sentence. I began to write: Ye Feng has a thousand swords; I am so angry. Wang Qi compared drooping bamboo leaves to swords and straight bamboo poles to spears, which is an image. He showed this couplet to his friends, and everyone praised him for his good writing. Wang Qi happily posted couplets on the wall of the house. He also boasted: "If anyone can change a word, I will give him twelve taels of gold for free!" " "How crazy. A few days later, Su Dongpo, a college student, visited him and saw the couplets. He didn't say anything. Pretend to say to Sue, "I wrote these two sentences. Please give me your advice. Su Dongpo smiled and said to Wang Qi, "This couplet is good, but it takes ten bamboos to spell a Ye Er!" ! "Come to think of it, Wang Qi, yes! I wrote Chiba and Wan Gan. There are fewer bamboos in Ye Er, and an average of ten bamboos can grow a piece of Ye Er. What is this called bamboo? Wang Qi's face looks like a big red cloth. She thanked Su Dongpo assiduously and said, "Well said, well said. "From now on, Wang Qi is no longer crazy, she is learning honestly. Since then, he has become a poet with real talent and learning. According to Wei Songqing's Poet Jade Scrap, Volume 11.
2. People in Front is a good match. Prime Minister Kou Zhun was a famous prime minister in the Northern Song Dynasty.
One day, he chatted with several senior officials and wrote a couplet for them to come: underwater day is the sky day; The sun in the water is just the shadow of the sun in the sky. Hearing this, these big officials stared at each other with small eyes, and no one could compare with them. It happened that day that Yang Danian came to see the Prime Minister Kou. Kou Zhun talked with Yang Danian about business and told him the first part just now. Yang Danian stared at Kou Zhun's eyes. After a little thinking, he immediately replied: the person in the eye is the person in front of him. Kou Zhun is talking about the shadow of the sun, and Yang Danian is talking about the figure. When I stand in front of your eyes, your eyes will definitely reflect my figure. This is called "the person in the eyes is the person in front of you". Readers, if you don't believe me, just stare into other people's eyes and try! According to Ouyang Xiu's Record of Returning to the Field, Song Zengmin published Du Xing Magazine.
3. Yang Danian correctly scolded the treacherous court official Yang Danian, became an academician and worked as an assistant minister of the Ministry of Industry in the imperial court.
Yang Danian looks very energetic, especially when his beard is thick and long, which is over his chest. It's really beautiful. It was early in the morning. Yang Danian came out of the palace and happened to meet Ding Weisong. Ding Wei looked at Yang Danian's long beard in the Song Dynasty and joked with him: the worship of Neihan must sweep the floor; Neihan is Hanlin. It means that when you, a bearded academician, kowtow to the emperor [Tiá o zhǒ u], your beard sweeps the floor like a broom. Who is this Ding Wei of the Song Dynasty? This is a big shot! Ding Wei and treacherous court official Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty pushed out Kou Zhun, the prime minister of Northern Liao Dynasty, and finally he became prime minister and Jin Wengong. Ding Wei and Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty, as well as three bad guys, were called "Five Ghosts of the Imperial Court". Yang Danian hated GREAT GHOST in Five Ghosts for a long time. Song took a look and replied coldly: "xianggong is sitting in the sky!" "xianggong" refers to Ding Wei, the prime minister of the Song Dynasty: the "curtain" is a big tent. Yang Danian is saying that you, the prime minister, crowd out good people and monopolize the court. You can really dominate the world! When Song Dynasty heard that Yang Danian turned to scold himself, he was very angry. But on second thought, I confessed it myself, and I couldn't be angry, so I had to laugh a few times. According to Song Ouyang Xiu's Return to the Field.
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