"If he likes you, he won't be ambiguous; If he stops contacting you, don't make excuses for him. He just doesn't like you that much. "

In short, whether he doesn't contact you actively or disappears inexplicably, whether he doesn't want to marry you now or whether he has no definite relationship with you for a long time, there is only one conclusion. He doesn't like you that much.

This is the view conveyed in the movie "He doesn't like you that much". I was cheated in my early twenties. But if the other person doesn't do what I think of love, I will knock them down in front of love with a stick, kill them and not let them in. This sap is the mentality mentioned above, and it doesn't allow others to do anything that doesn't meet expectations. As long as what they do is against the world, they just don't like me enough, and he is not qualified to fall in love with me.

I'm not the only one who takes this idea as the golden rule. The girls around me have been trapped in this kind of thinking and are unwilling to extricate themselves. Even last week, I overheard the girls at the next table chatting in the cafe. While denouncing her boyfriend for all kinds of bad things, tell her confidently, you know? There is a simple reason. He just doesn't like you that much.

We cruelly don't talk about human nature, the hardships of life, don't care about each other's experiences, and don't want to think about why. Simply and rudely admit that he doesn't love you, and easily interpret all the actions of this man in the past. Even those memories that once made you feel love are considered as just taking part in accidental amusement. It seems that once you agree that "he doesn't love you", you can prove your love theory and deduce all the love assumptions in the world-he loves you and he must be with you; If he loves you, he must act according to all your expectations; If he loves you, he must not do anything that disappoints you.

As soon as I checked, Abby Kohn, the screenwriter of this film, is really a woman. She may have some symptoms of mid-term cancer in straight women.

If you really believe that behind all love troubles, there is the initiator of "he doesn't love you enough". You'd better not fall in love and get married all your life, because you will be disappointed. There is no man in this world who fits the formula of love. People who love you again will inevitably make you feel lost, sad and dissatisfied, because the creature of man is really not that simple, and it can't be summarized by "thinking with the lower body".

Tell a few men's stories, build a bridge for you and look at men's hearts.

1. Xu Bin

When I was at school, I met a boy who worked part-time at the exhibition. To put it bluntly, you can't learn much from this part-time job except earning some money. Girls in tight skirts with high heels stand and smile for one day 150 yuan. For boys who only answer questions and move things, they only give 80 yuan a day.

Yes, we are all here for the money. But money has different reasons. I want to earn living expenses. The boy is trying to support his family because he has a younger brother who is in high school waiting for him to support him.

The boy's name is Xu Bin, and he was born in the mountainous area. He is the only outstanding person in the mountain who can come to Beijing to go to college. In order to let him go to school, his parents go out to work, and they are reluctant to buy tickets to go home during the Spring Festival. He is at home with his younger brother. He is both a father and a mother. However, being admitted to the university is not the end, but the beginning of paying off the student loan and bearing the cost of my brother's schooling. When Xu Bin came to Beijing, the next minute he put down his luggage in the dormitory, he began to ask around where he could work to make money.

Xu Bin is very good-looking, a little rustic and shy, and has a hard-working spirit. It's not that no girl likes him, but that he once had a crush on him. It's a pity that Xu Bin is a male classmate with a heavy story.

He can't pay all the expenses of love, except for his own loan, he also sends money to his brother regularly. After three years in college, his height has increased by 5 cm, and the white jeans that were once starched have now become leggings. His bare ankles trembled when the wind blew.

It is not only Xu Bin's ankle that is exposed to the strong cold wind of reality, but also his sensitive and fragile self-esteem.

Xu Bin liked a girl when he was a sophomore. Although her confession was poor, she won her heart. Like all campus couples, they study together and eat together in the canteen. Xu Bin saves her three meals, and squeezes out some money every month to go to the supermarket to buy a lot of snacks for the girl.

It's his girlfriend's birthday after the winter vacation, and Xu Bin is in trouble. He didn't go home during the Spring Festival. He works in a department store in Beijing. He put on doll clothes and cute doll masks, and took photos with shoppers to attract them to buy promotional goods.

Xu Bin said that it was the year of the dog, and he played with his lovely pet for a week. Just for his girlfriend's birthday, he could give her a present, wag his tail and wait for her to laugh.

During the winter vacation, he didn't call his girlfriend much. You know, at that time, it cost 60 cents to make a long-distance call by mobile phone in Beijing, and Xu Bin had to be hungry for ten minutes. But thinking about her is the driving force for him to endure. On his girlfriend's birthday, Xu Bin gave a generous gift, at least for him at that time. His girlfriend learned that he was still wandering in the streets of Beijing on New Year's Day for this gift, and she was so sad that she began to cry.

Girlfriend broke up, not because she didn't like it, but because she couldn't bear it. This love is too heavy. She is not only wearing a brand-new woolen coat, but also Xu Bin's painstaking efforts. The heavy burden overwhelmed all of them.

Later, Xu Bin didn't want to fall in love. When he can't fall in love easily, he wants to bear this heavy burden alone. It's not that no one wants to suffer with him, but that he is more willing to share the sweetness of love with his lover than to worry about what to eat at the next meal.

Today's Xu Bin is not the teenager who worries about the living expenses for next month. My brother has graduated from college, and my parents have gone home to support the elderly. He bought a house and a car in Tianjin, and the loan was paid back step by step, but he has not had a proper relationship yet.

The last time we met was in Tianjin. When we talked about marriage and love, he still had anxiety that he could not get rid of. He doesn't know how much money he has to earn to fill his inner sense of security and how much material he has to afford a faint love.

Pointing to the girls coming and going outside the window, he said firmly, I want my future lover to go where he wants to go so lightly, and I will love again when I no longer need to bear the financial pressure with my lover.

2. pony

A few years ago, when the microfilm was particularly popular, I saw a "Happy 59 cm Pony" filmed by my male god Luo Yonghao, which is unforgettable so far.

The hero's name is Ma Xiao, a 30-year-old unmarried young man. He is a rock musician, with countless fruits behind him, but he never refuses to attack his fans. He likes all things that young rock people shouldn't like, old people, children and dogs. He likes popular science books and has always been curious about the world.

In the rock circle, it seems to be the best way to mix circles, but Pony has always been completely awake, and he can stay awake when he is drunk, because he is afraid of being exposed by the bones and skins of Douban Moon Group.

Scientific research has found that the probability of meeting true love in a person's life is one in 280 thousand, which is lower than the probability of accidental events and may never happen. And a monster like him will encounter the same kind again, and the probability will directly drop to one in 7.84 million.

Pony said that after a man has just had sex with a woman, there are only two reactions. One is to ignore her, the other is to kick her out of bed. But if there is a third-want to hold her to sleep, then maybe this man has met true love, that is one in 280,000.

Pony met his English training teacher Jiang Ting, an intellectual beauty. All the unpopular knowledge I learned before came in handy on the date, and Pony succeeded in getting a beautiful woman.

Jiang Ting is one of the 280,000 pony encounters. He wants to hold her in his arms and greet the dawn together after tenderness, but the pony can't.

Pony has adult nocturia. He will stop drinking water before the sun goes down, but when he falls asleep late at night, some things are still out of control. Before he feels the cold despair, he can enjoy the lethargy like a normal person, but then he always wakes up on the wet sheets in the morning without any accident.

Although there is nothing to laugh at about this disease, how can a man say to the woman he loves, I'm sorry, I wet the bed. How can I wet the bed every day?

What kind of embarrassment and shame would that be?

Russian andrei chikatilo is also suffering from nocturia. Unable to stand the ridicule of others, he became a psychopath and killed 53 lives. Pony didn't become a murderer, but he killed his love again and again.

He didn't want others to discover his shameful nocturia, leave again and again after being warmed in the middle of the night, or drive his girlfriend out of the house.

A long-term and stable relationship is an impossible task for Pony, let alone getting married, and his girlfriend will certainly be puzzled. Why can't this man always sleep with himself? Doesn't he love me? "Sleeping" that really doesn't aim at sleeping is not called "sleeping" at all!

Only in the middle school era when sleeping is not necessary in love can Pony have a long-term and stable relationship. In these years, he can only sleep with girls who come and go in a hurry, and there is no chance to get along well.

But Jiang Ting is different. She is the woman that Pony wants to protect. He tried to give Jiang Ting the key to his house. When I was going to face the problem together, Jiang Ting left first.

If you haven't met one in 280,000 people in your life, you will think it's nothing, but once you taste the sweetness, human beings will just think about it like mice in experiments. Pony finally couldn't stand the pain of true love and decided to confess all this. After being warmed up with Jiang Ting, Pony didn't choose to leave. He opened his eyes wide and waited for dawn.

The film came to an abrupt end here and the ending was thought-provoking. I imagined the picture of pony explaining all this to Jiang Ting after getting up in the morning. What kind of mood does it feel for a man to tell his lover his most embarrassing secret?

Sometimes I dare not love or face it, but I'm too afraid of losing it. Without my self-esteem, I can't find my lover.

3. Mr Zhang

I used to know a boy, Mr. Chang, at the gathering group of Beijing Cosmic Center. He is talented and rich, and has charmed countless girls in the group. He is a well-deserved regiment commander. It is said that he has been single for two years, but no one believes that he is so superior and single, either because he is becoming more and more attractive or because he has no fixed partner. He walks among flowers and never touches his body.

None of the girls in the group dared to be nice to him directly, and no one dared to approach him after seeing the photos of his ex-girlfriend. As long as the ex-girlfriend exists, it makes people jealous, not to mention that she is really rich and beautiful.

I have read many diaries written by Mr. Chang, and the articles are full of nostalgia for the past and helplessness to reality. On the one hand, I can't forget my old love, on the other hand, I am sad because no one is cute in reality.

He told me that sometimes women are more complicated than you think, and they set preconditions before falling in love. You should be handsome, but not too handsome; You should be rich, but not too rich; You have to be talented, but you can't be too talented. Once these auras are regarded as excessive in women's eyes, they are worried that you will become a dazzling sun, and all women may bathe by your side and refuse to leave.

There are also some women who approach to please, not really love him, but love his aura, and go to a friend's party with face, and women feel proud; Walking in the street is envied by countless eyes, and women will be happy. There are other women who are just passers-by, waiting at this platform and heading for the next journey. You are not her destination at all. They just fill their lives through one man after another and don't know what they want.

Mr. Chang also longed for a sincere relationship, but found that he was not sincere enough. He loved Bai's ex-girlfriend, grew up from a little girl who was not wet behind the ears to a slim and mature woman by his side, but finally changed his mind. He never thought that he would marry someone else. He never imagined that the childhood love that witnessed each other's growth eventually became the deepest knife that hurt him. He is afraid to face farewell and betrayal, and he still believes that at least their love will not change in this world.

In the face of others' hesitation and doubt, Mr. Chang can't see the sincerity of paying and doesn't want to exchange it.

So he lived a closed life and became a warm man in women's mouth, or love rat. Others are good to him, and he is good to others. If others don't approach, he won't take the initiative to approach. He promises nothing and promises nothing. He looked at the passing women and asked himself for a short sense of security, inflated vanity and self-righteous love. That's all.

He doesn't want anyone to really participate in his own life, refuses to be corroded by any warmth and ripples, feels extremely bored coming and going, and won't trust anyone again. Because I experienced being put on the apex of my heart, I climbed high and fell hard, and I knew that I would be shattered if I fell again, so I couldn't love, so I wanted to leave myself a complete body.

Love is a word that makes him sick now, but he doesn't feel a little sorry for it.

Sometimes a person can't fall in love, but he can't cure himself, and he can't meet someone who is willing to cure him together.

Four years ago, I watched the new Japanese drama "The Reason Why I Can't Fall in Love" and told the love story of three Japanese girls in their twenties. One is that I want to pursue my career because of my troubles, the other is that I have never really liked others and can't really fall in love, and the other is that I am too shy to start dating. It was really interesting and vivid urban love, which showed the joys and sorrows of many marriageable women and made me intoxicated for a long time.

I recently turned it out and reviewed it again. It is true that different ages will have different ideas when watching the same play. I used to complain about men and feel sorry for myself. Now it seems that women are not the only ones who don't fall in love. Bin Xu once felt insecure because of lack of material things, Pony because of unspeakable hidden illness and sensitive self-esteem, and Mr. Chang because of a broken heart and indifference around him ... There are thousands of men in Qian Qian outside the story, and there are countless perhaps unexpected reasons that prevent him from starting to fall in love.

Sometimes you can't fall in love, maybe it has nothing to do with love. But in love, he must have secretly killed countless reasons for not falling in love, and he must have penetrated deep hesitation and difficulties before he was with you.

I looked at the man around me who was willing to spend every minute with me. Although he had clumsily remembered the anniversary, he finally decided not to say "you don't love me" to him so easily.