I just don't want people to know that I'm trying.
Roommates are busy with their studies, clubs and textual research every day. Everyone knows that she works hard. Not only in the dormitory, but also in the class, most people agree with how hard she works. Everyone knows that she attaches great importance to learning, that she wants to be a class committee, that she will get a teacher qualification certificate until she dies, and that she must pass CET-4 and CET-6 computer level 2.
She doesn't mind that everyone knows her goal, nor does she mind that others see her efforts.
Seeing her like this reminds me of a female classmate in high school.
She is a chubby girl, probably because she is a girl, otherwise I really want to use the word simple and honest to describe her. She and my roommate have many similarities, and the biggest similarity is hard work.
She is really not smart. She is also a science student. I never liked my stupidity. I can't do the big physics calculation by myself. I always ask others for advice, but I'm afraid others will think I'm bored. So I often ask top student three questions that I don't understand. Top student never talks about it. I don't understand. As long as I can fill in a definite answer, I will give up and stop asking. Are the remaining two questions their own? Study hard? In most cases, I don't know what this is, and I basically get it from others at the last minute. Learn from it? After an unclear answer, I quickly handed it in.
This is the biggest difference between me and her.
She will ask me questions and any other students, and the questions she asks are basically from the teacher's mouth? Distribute sub-questions As long as she doesn't understand at all, she won't mind what others say. Why can't it be like this? Such words, laugh it off, don't know how to ask again, over and over again, she really gets a lot of dirty eyes. Every ten minutes before class, the students want to seize the opportunity to ask questions to the teacher. They all line up at the podium, but as long as everyone sees her talking to the teacher, they will all return to their seats and give up asking questions. As we all know, she won't leave her teacher alone until the next class.
Many people despise people who are more stupid than themselves, and so am I. I always hold a little contempt for her. But it is such a fool in everyone's eyes, ranking in the top ten in his class, ranking second in the college entrance examination, and attending a university of 2 1 1. And how many of us smart people are there? A university, a college? Or? A college? Li complained that the school was too dirty.
Senior three, it's not that I haven't thought about hard work.
In senior three, grades are always checked from the tail of the report card. There is no hurry. But I'm always afraid that I won't make the expected progress after my efforts, and I'm afraid that others will think that I'm a person who doesn't have enough brains to learn. I worked hard in the dormitory two years before my freshman year to study hard to narrow the distance I was thrown out. In class, I still look arrogant and indifferent to my grades. I want people to think that my poor grades are not because I am stupid, but because I don't want to work hard. I am not a master with a bad brain.
But I want to catch up, and no one else wants to stop and wait for me. In a day, the time in the class is always much more than that in the dormitory. Class is about 14 hours every day, except sleeping in the dormitory for no more than 4 hours. Deduct some trifles and steal a little laziness after taking a shower and washing clothes.
You can imagine how I stood still when my grades were not bad at all.
I hope I can be the target of public criticism? Like a bitch? Yes The so-called academic bitch is that a person always shouts that he didn't review, didn't review, but the result makes everyone dumbfounded. Probably just to make yourself look studious.
I know I'm not the only one with this curiosity. How many people hold this idea and want others to think that you are not bad, but in the end it is you who are delayed.
I just don't want others to know that I'm trying, so I fool around all day and let people know that I'm just useless, not incompetent.
I just don't want others to know that I am working hard, so I spent more than half a month preparing the speech of the class Committee and telling people, ah, the election, I will forget it if you don't tell me. There is no preparation at all! ?
I just don't want others to know that I'm trying, so I'm getting worse and worse.
All the sorrows in this world are the same.
Favorite colors change from cold to warm, and people who don't like sweet begin to eat sweet ones. After experiencing all the feelings I don't know, I realize that all the sorrows in this world are the same and will make people sad. Notes before the text of a book or after the title of an article.
Go to bed late, but you can wake up early. The sun shines on the beige curtains, full of warmth. After all, it was a quiet day. Sometimes I love its calm appearance, and sometimes I am tired of its monotonous depression. Music is in full bloom in the house, accompanied by the fragrance of lavender. I should be happy, but I have a faint discomfort in my heart. I can't name it, it's expectation and panic. It seems that in the next week, there will be many wonderful things that have nothing to do with yourself. These lively decorations are making a lot of noise in the whole world, which also makes some people in the corner feel chilling. How many people are happy in this excitement, and how many people are in the ice.
Prepare gifts for yourself in advance, wish yourself a happy holiday in advance, and do all the happiness in advance before you have the courage to wait for the fireworks to cool down.
Think of those difficulties in my early years, for the so-called love, dreams and life. Now, I have let them go and learned to let nature take its course. More and more lost, more and more return to nature.
Favorite colors change from cold to warm, and people who don't like sweet begin to eat sweet ones. After experiencing all the feelings I don't know, I realize that all the sorrows in this world are the same and will make people sad. As I get older, I really feel that time flies. In the best wheat straw, it's a pity that you didn't arrive as scheduled and I didn't bloom as scheduled. Even if we meet again, it will no longer be love, but life. Just thinking about it makes me shudder.
After all, I am tired, and I can't write touching tears or tears. I can only write some feelings. But there are so many memories hidden in these feelings Yes, I am full of nostalgia for the simple past that I can't go back. I miss the little luck of having breakfast with someone, the innocence of having fun with someone, and the beauty of getting along with each other day and night. It's just that what I miss at the moment has finally turned into nostalgia.
I grew up quietly here, waiting for these two flowers to bloom, but only waiting for the sad beauty of Mansa Zhu Hua, which is the flower on the other side. Without flowers and leaves, I will never see them.
Open the webpage, someone breaks up every day, and someone is together every day. Fortunately, I'm not so pessimistic. Let's pay attention together. After all, I can't achieve great things. What's important is that these little feelings love little pleasures. Everything is based on your own comfort. Whoever breaks the inner defense will be out one by one.
When I can't sleep in the middle of the night, I just want to talk to someone, go through the address book again and again, and then just sleep silently. Those who are willing to sympathize with you and talk with you late at night are already wives, fathers or have their own companions. You shouldn't disturb yourself so late. After only two years, everything has changed dramatically. Many people have changed from one person to two or even three, and only you have changed from two to one.
Sometimes, I feel ridiculous and believe in the true feelings of the world too much. I have always believed that a person's kindness to a person will not die easily, and a person's feelings for a person can last for several years. But later, I came to understand that no kind of goodness can be endless, just as no kind of love can really be faithful. Time is the best measure of feelings, and even the deepest feelings can't escape.
Therefore, what you think of as affection is more or less self-righteous.
There is less and less love that can make people feel excited, so I will never forget the simple feelings.
Occasionally, when I see a couple of "Seeds of Love" with schoolbags on their backs in the subway, I can't help but look at them, as if I saw my immature self. Every look, every smile is green, and every word is mumbling. I know that there is still pure love in my heart, and I long for them to last forever.
The girl I almost blacklisted.
? On March 29th, 20 14, the weather was sunny and the mood was sleet. ?
Miss negative energy wrote this passage in her diary. It seems to be the beginning of an ordinary diary for girls. However, if you open the thick stack in front, you will find that the weather in most diaries is uncertain, and the mood column is always rain, snow, hail, sandstorm, tornado and the most popular smog in Beijing.
She will sigh for an hour because of a friend's words, cry all night because of poor grades, and write down her parents' phone numbers in a circle of friends in time? Abandoned by the whole world? In this case, the most terrible time, because of lovelorn, she started Xianglinsao mode and complained to us about her ex-boyfriend for a whole year.
So, we call her Miss Negative Energy. Familiar people rarely call her at parties, because her low pressure can make a room full of people feel depressed, and the chatter in the circle of friends can no longer see everyone's comments. Occasionally speaking of her, we can only feel that what a good girl she was in those days, how did she become like this now?
What a nice girl she is.
Everyone who grew up with Miss Negative Energy knows that when 12 years old, the seed of love, a little boy and a little girl, was a girl who would glow when thrown into the crowd.
Handsome, with excellent grades, he was the president of the student union and the captain of the debate team in junior high school, and the teacher won the favor of parents. She is the real little princess in everyone's eyes. Occasionally, her waywardness is regarded as a little girl's anger, and small mistakes are let go with a sigh of tolerance from adults. What makes other girls jealous is that she belongs to the girl who all the boys chased together in those years.
In the second day of junior high school, Miss Negative Energy was with a famous school grass. Boys also belong to the man of the hour on campus, the champion of speech contest and the main force of the school basketball team, but they also have a handsome sunny face. The two of them belong to the star files in the puppy love camp. The other girls gnash their teeth and reluctantly admit that only they deserve each other.
So miss negative energy has always been smooth sailing since she was a child, and she has never failed to get what she wants.
In those years, she was also a famous red man in the school. She didn't complain about this and that, as if she just lived casually and life would be fine. However, over time, banyan trees will wither, cicadas will die, and the swings on the playground will be stained with traces.
Senior one, miss negative energy is lovelorn.
This is almost the first setback in her life. Without the protection of teachers and the comfort of parents, the little princess's gem palace collapsed instantly.
Some people will pull their mouths contemptuously when they see this: what is this? It's a little girl's family It'll be all right in a minute. As her classmate, I simply think that time is a scalpel, and all wounds can be healed slowly. But Miss Negative Energy also has the same scalpel, but it was dismembered.
After feeling frustrated, Miss Negative Energy, who has always been proud, found that almost no one spoke. Her wayward temper and arrogant attitude have made many onlookers hold the attitude of watching her jokes. She has been unconsciously isolated by the crowd for a long time. Then, Miss Negative Energy found that it seemed that all the lights in the world suddenly went out, the doors closed, the audience left, and everything returned to the original worst state.
At this time, Miss Negative Energy did not hesitate to choose the worst decompression method and drowned herself in food.
Eat when you are sad, when you want to cry, when you can't sleep, and when you wake up. During that time, potato chips and coke were the personal companions of Miss Negative Energy. The rise of blood sugar brought a sense of fullness to her body and greatly eased her mood.
I watched miss negative energy develop horizontally like a steamed stuffed bun, and I was really worried about her. As a kind-hearted classmate, I try to remind you kindly: Is eating too much bad for your stomach? I think it's getting harder and harder for you to do 800 meters early recently. ?
Miss negative energy squeezed her eyes into a crack, as if she were going to cry: but people are very sad. ?
How many people can be heartbroken by the same person, but what is this inexplicable sense of humor now? I told her that even then, you can't help yourself. There is no harm imposed on yourself. It's someone else's fault that others don't cherish it. There's no need to punish yourself.
Miss negative energy's eyes are dim: Do you know how much I miss him? Do you know how much he hurt me? I will never be happy in my life! Forget it, you don't know love. ?
After a poke, she opened a packet of crispy corners.
In the winter vacation of senior one, the junior high school students of Miss Negative Energy had a dinner party. Students in different high schools with her always have the same expression when they see Miss Negative Energy. Especially the teenager who is chasing her, a face? Am I blind? Expression, tacitly refused to recall the past at the dinner table. Of course, Miss Negative Energy is also lonely. The stalk of the school flower and grass has never been played, and everyone's food is delicious and tasteless.
After the party, the boys talked for a long time. Pig knife? And then what? Young and ignorant? At this point, the princess crown of Miss Negative Energy was taken off by everyone.
Throughout high school, Miss Negative Energy is an ordinary female classmate with average grades, bloated figure, frowning and unsmiling. Her youth is a large dose of boredom, covered with a thin layer of loneliness and a little self-esteem. Several times, she looked at the beautiful skirt that stretched out, trying to lose weight and change herself. However, the third year of high school is coming, and the doomsday life makes the young lady with negative energy, as the dog of the third year of high school, completely neglect other things, and Oreo is always piled up next to thick books.
At that time, whenever she saw a girl with a much better figure than herself, she would swear. What did she say? Little bitch? I don't know whether I am alive or dead. The college entrance examination is coming soon. Who are you wearing such a short skirt for? After a complaint, I cried and buried myself in reading and studying. She feels that she is moving towards a bright road, and when everyone looks down on her or herself, she still has a chance to take the college entrance examination. Miss Negative Energy's performance has indeed improved, and even once rushed into the performance circle of Tsinghua and Peking University. When people around her looked at her with surprised eyes, her disdainful expression seemed to say? Any time is fine with me. .
Miss negative energy has the best literature synthesis and the worst mathematics. She has never won the first prize, but she has also been tested because she can slap others loudly. When she did well in the exam, she felt a sense of revenge on the whole world, but when she did badly in the exam, she complained and felt that the whole world owed herself. From beginning to end, Miss Negative Energy kept a proud posture. In class, she stretched her already big chest bigger, putting one leg on the other, holding her chin in one hand and drawing with a brush in the other.
After the college entrance examination, I got the admission notice from Peking University and began to worry about a few pimples on my face. I heard that Miss Negative Energy failed in the exam, and she made twelve wrong multiple-choice questions in her best literature. After deducting 48 points, her dream was destroyed beyond recognition, and her math was extremely poor. Miss negative energy feels that her life seems to be easily erased by jokes. There is not much suspense. I was one of the top students in the whole school, but in the end I only went to one or two A-class colleges.
That long summer vacation, we didn't see miss negative energy in all our group activities. I occasionally saw her in the street of a small town. She walked silently along the wall with her head down, clutching her schoolbag belt tightly, and her head looked like a small dark cloud.
I have seen her walk out of the convenience store, buy several bags of menstrual towels, then go to the steamed stuffed bun shop next door to buy some hot meat steamed buns, and hurried home, still with her head down.
College life has begun. Although I am in the same city, I really seldom see Miss Negative Energy. I can only learn about her recent situation through my circle of friends and QQ space. It's not that I care about her, it's just that she lost weight, failed to lose weight, fell in love, quarreled and failed the class, all of which will be broadcast live on social networks in detail. Still full of complaints and a lot of spit. Miss negative energy shows her dissatisfaction with life 360 degrees. At the same time, she also succeeded in making us afraid to share happiness in front of her, for fear of accidentally stabbing her sensitive nerves.
Well, she's lying alone on many people's WeChat blacklists. They don't look at her circle of friends and don't let her look at her circle of friends.
It is said that love can change a person.
I haven't seen her for a year, and I happened to go to her school to give a lecture on new books. We were received by an official of the student union of our school. She is not tall. She looks like ordinary people. She wears ordinary clothes and doesn't even speak neatly. I told him that I have an old classmate in this school who wants her to meet me, so please take care of it and find a slightly better position.
I didn't ask Miss Negative Energy if she would like to come to my activity before, but I called her with great doubts and worries, for fear that she would give me a meal. You know you're sitting on it, I'm sitting on it, and you call me a disgrace? Guns and bullets like that killed me alive.
Unexpectedly, she readily agreed.
I saw her at a glance when I was sitting on the stage and giving a passionate speech. She is sitting in the fifth seat from the left in the third row in the middle. I still remember the way she looked at me with a crooked head and a straight face today. She wore a small floral coat that day, but her big breasts still couldn't be covered.
Later, after the activity, I entrusted the reception boys to leave a negative energy lady to meet us backstage. When she came in, I felt that she looked a little thinner and her hair seemed a little longer, but there were still dark clouds on her head and her eyebrows were still so anxious. Yes, she is still the negative energy lady.
I started happily:? How are you doing recently
? Not so good. I tell you, our professor is so annoying. He failed me a course last year, and it seems that he is not going to give it to me again this year. He must be deliberately giving me a hard time. I'm worried sick. By the way, I heard that Li Fang of our class found a Gao Fushuai? And that sister Wang Xiaotao with acne all over her face, do you remember? She won the national prize like that, and she will go to the United States for a semester soon, which is enough. There is also Huang Mao, who has been close to me since childhood, and is now the president of the student union of the University for Nationalities. ?
I tugged at my shirt, and I had a bad feeling and said, huh? I don't know any of this. How do you know so much about the present situation of our classmates? Did you go to the last party? That will be a day! They can't laugh at me when I leave. I went to a bad school and got along badly, so I won't let them have a chance to laugh at me. ? I bowed my head and said nothing.
? Unless one day I'm crazy. ? She bit off a thread hanging from the cuff with her teeth and added:? Do you think I have lost weight recently? I am really bored to death. I can't lose weight at all! I will die if I eat so little and get so fat every day. ?
Soon, Miss Negative Energy polished my patience while chatting with her. Everything made her extremely uneasy, and every topic aroused her anger. Later, in her endless complaints, I succeeded in diverting my attention, stirring my cold coffee and watching her mouth open and close, but her voice was getting farther and farther away from me.
Fortunately, my sister from the publishing house came to urge me to go, which was a relief. We took a photo and said goodbye in a hurry. She left first. I saw her carrying a small bag, holding a small floral coat in her left hand and pattering away in high heels.
She didn't send the photo to her circle of friends at last, so I made her frown and say? Why is the face so big that acne can't go? Then delete it.
Disappeared with the complaints and complaints of negative energy ladies common in friends circle. She is seldom in the mood now, only occasionally revealing that the course of modern literature is really interesting, or that the blueberry yogurt and waffles she ate today can cure the whole rainy day.
It turned out that Miss Negative Energy fell in love with the student union boy who received our lecture.
? He is not tall, his figure is not good, and his hair is flat, which is far from my boyfriend with long hair and tall hair. The conditions at home are average, one year younger than me. Going out on a date is like taking care of children. It's not interesting at all. There are too many shortcomings for me to count at the moment, but he loves me very much. This is an advantage, but it is enough. ?
Mr short loves her very much. Every time I go out with Miss Negative Energy, I complain that my boyfriend comes too late, bringing too much milk tea ice and too few pearls. He always nodded with a smile and wiped the milk tea foam from her mouth with a paper towel. Everyone was annoyed by her complaints, but only he knew that she was given too little sense of security.
Miss negative energy can only be called a match with the former school grass; And this short gentleman is the other half of her missing life.
Mr. Short said that you can let Miss Negative Energy complain about him, others and other things, but you just can't complain about yourself. Those who say that you are an unwanted fat man or that you have poor grades and poor body and should not have love will disappear. When he held her, she cried until her body trembled. She never thought that anyone would love her so much.
Braving the heavy rain and getting soaked to buy her favorite matcha ice cream; Clumsy brown sugar water was sent to her dormitory downstairs in the strange eyes of others; Seriously take her to see the sea and fulfill her wish to see the sea that she inadvertently wrote on the Weibo; A letter every week represents the belief in long-distance running love.
She never thought that anyone would love her so much.
Actually, it's just that she didn't think about it.
Why do people hate inferiority, all unhappiness is their own, but happiness belongs to others? In the final analysis, they are all made by themselves. Small words are melodramatic. If they are big, they will hurt themselves. Success will only educate us. One of the conditions for success is hard work and the other is persistence, so whoever fails to succeed is because he does not work hard and does not persist. But success often ignores what it should tell us: success belongs to a few people, and the life of most people still belongs to the ordinary life of daily necessities. However, ordinary days do not mean ordinary, those love and satisfaction, care about being together, as good as flying between big cities day and night.
What do you do? What do you spell? Gao Fushuai. Believe me, neither the ugly duckling nor the white swan belongs to you. There will always be a good person who is willing to abandon the colorful world and stay with you, and there will always be a simple and rude care and love to make you happy.
After all, learning to accept yourself can make you invulnerable.
Later, Miss Negative Energy's mood diary was no longer rainy, nor was it the person who threatened to slap her mouth with another bite of matcha cake.
In the circle of friends, she began to send some photos of the tourist attractions and food she had been to, as well as two silly and funny smiling faces, accompanied by words such as which fairyland the little prince and princess had been to.
Some time ago, she sent a photo with her boyfriend at the seaside. In the photo, she wore a pink bikini and smiled mercilessly at the camera. She is still full in the crowd, but people feel the impulse of love.