Since the promulgation of the new marriage law, the number of college students who get married openly has increased. Not long ago, the 1990 version of the Regulations on the Administration of College Students explicitly prohibited college students from getting married. According to some college students' memories, before the mid-1980s, even dating was not allowed, and only a few couples were secretly engaged. Over the past few decades, the atmosphere of the times has changed again and again, turning again and again. Nowadays, the former "underground party" can talk openly about marriage. Inspired by the concept of "people-oriented" in the new regulations, groups that students privately call "husband and wife tribes" are gradually forming in major universities. After visiting some colleges and universities, I made it clear that the so-called "husband and wife tribe" of college students is not limited to college students who are registered to get married, but includes all lovers, and mainly refers to people who live together in love.
Although the humanistic environment of university campus is becoming more and more relaxed, and students' interest in expressing love is constantly rising, on the other hand, some parents and teachers have harsh eyes and critical voices, but not fade away. Under the influence of this factor, university cohabitation can not be regarded as an absolutely neutral word on the moral level at present. On the table of most colleges and universities, it is still inextricably linked with lack of progress, inaction and bad influence. The key issue is "sex". However, as long as we contact the latest phenomena, such as the fact that sex education textbooks have begun to talk about sex directly from primary schools, and the newly promulgated "Regulations" respect the marriage and childbearing rights of college students, we will find that the concept of the times in this respect is very different from the past.
After the promulgation of the new "Regulations", the legal rights of students have been further guaranteed and released, but the campus is still that quiet campus, and college students who have gained more human space are still college students. Fortunately, most students generally hold a more rational attitude towards cohabitation and marriage during their studies. Zheng, a sophomore in a university, said that although people nowadays look down on cohabitants, there are not many imitators, and those students are still "marginal people" on the whole. Most students said that although they have the right to get married, they can only accept love during college, and they are unwilling to easily get involved in marriages that require greater responsibilities and more obligations. Nowadays, the social competition is fierce, and learning is still the bounden duty of college life, but as far as feelings are concerned, I don't want to be so hasty.
On March 29th, 2005, the new "Regulations on the Management of Students in Colleges and Universities" was officially promulgated amid speculation and controversy, and the question of whether undergraduates can get married while they are in school has been settled. The new version of the "Regulations" does not make a rigid rule that college students cannot get married, but the relevant person in charge of the Ministry of Education explained that this does not mean encouraging college students to get married. But in any case, this means that starting from the new semester this fall, college students can get married as long as they meet the conditions of relevant marriage laws and regulations.
Generally speaking, college students' "husband and wife" is only a matter for a few people on campus. In the overall rational atmosphere, there are extreme examples of unmarried cohabitation in trouble, but that is not a unique problem for college students "husband and wife", it is only an extreme phenomenon that people from all walks of life may appear.
Xiaozhen graduated from the Chinese Department of a university in 2002. After graduation, she went to a university as a counselor. I contacted her online. She recalled to me an experience of renting a house with her boyfriend in the last semester before graduation: "My boyfriend and I started to fall in love from the second year of high school. Because of our different interests and grades, after the college entrance examination, I went to study in the city from the suburbs, and he was admitted to Chengdu. In these four years, we didn't have many opportunities to meet each other. Everyone is busy with professional and textual research, but our relationship has always been very good. In the second half of my senior year, my study task has come to an end and my work has started. He often comes to Chengdu to see me. Every time he comes, he occasionally stays in the dormitory of boys in our class, but mainly in the hotel near the school. However, the hotel fee is too extravagant for both of us. Later, I heard from my classmates that there are some rural houses near the school that can be rented temporarily, even for a day or two. I think this kind of house is very suitable for my boyfriend and I's' Cowherd and Weaver Girl' style, and the price is far lower than the cost in the hotel. So, after consulting with him, he reached a * * * knowledge. Once he came to Chongqing, we rented this house together and lived for two days. During that time, my boyfriend and I often patronized these daily rental houses. "
Asked what she thought of college cohabitation, Xiaozhen was very open-minded. She said: "I think this is a very normal thing. In fact, we are all adults, and everyone can face life in an adult way. Maybe many people think we are too rash, but in fact we have our own principles and have been considered. We know how to be responsible for ourselves and each other. Personally, my boyfriend and I have been in love for six years, and it was in the age of innocence, and we both know each other very well. The reason why we didn't live together until the end of our undergraduate course is because we made an appointment long ago to fight for our studies and career first. After several years of contact, we all stood the test of time and finally identified each other. "
On Tuesday afternoon, I knocked on the door of a residential building near a university and found Xiao Yang's "home" in Fan Xiao. Fan Xiao is a graduate student in a university. Xiao Yang plans to come to Fan Xiao to review for the postgraduate entrance examination. Unexpectedly, he fell in love with Fan Xiao at first sight. After a period of very much in love, the two decided to rent this house near the campus and live together.
My arrival made Xiao Yang, who was quiet and shy, at a loss. With the permission of the host, I began to visit their "home": an area of 20 square meters, one room and one living room, and eggshell-colored tiles on the ground can be seen. There is a Simmons and a 18 inch Konka color TV in the bedroom, which is said to have been left by the landlord. A few plush toys, two pairs of slippers embroidered with bears, and two cups of brightly colored fat pumpkin lovers decorate this originally simple bedroom warmly and comfortably. It is said that this is from Xiao Yang's wonderful hand. Opposite the bedroom is a crowded kitchen: a natural gas stove, a pot, and some dishes and chopsticks, all of which are configured by Fan himself. "The monthly rent in 700 yuan leaves us no extra money to buy other things. Although it is very simple or even simple here, we still feel very warm. " Fan explained.
When asked about his views on cohabitation, Xiao Yang, who has been silent, began: "I think it is natural for two people to live together and have deep feelings." Moreover, it is a wonderful thing that two people live together and can take care of each other! Fan Xiao added: "Because we met in the process of lonely study, after living together, we have a feeling of mutual warmth." . "But I can't help asking, is there any hasty ingredient in such' cohabitation'? Can it really be stable without the necessary economic ability as a guarantee? From Fan Xiao's embarrassment of being speechless, I felt a little short of breath and unsure.
Xiao Zhang graduated from the English department of a university this year. Her boyfriend is an engineering graduate who graduated one year earlier and has a stable job. When her boyfriend was assigned to a small single room, Xiao Zhang moved out of the dormitory to live with her boyfriend before graduation. Xiao Zhang said it was the inevitable result of feelings, and there was nothing to be afraid of. The students basically know. However, her parents only found out when Xiao Zhang was working. My parents were a little surprised at that time, but they acquiesced because they knew that their daughter and boyfriend had been classmates for many years and knew each other better. And during their love, they also met each other's parents. Xiao Zhang said that the two were very cautious because their feelings came together, although they had only been in love for two years.
Speaking of cohabitation, Xiao Zhang said that it was a derogatory term from the perspective of a third party at first, but when he became a "dramatist", he felt good. He believes that cohabitation is a neutral word, because "person" is the key factor and should happen on the basis of respecting feelings. If it is impulsive, it is irresponsible. Talking about the sensitive topic of sexual relations, Xiao Zhang is very frank, thinking that cohabitation and sexual relations have similar meanings and can be basically equivalent, because once cohabitation is inevitable. Now they have rented a small single room with one room and one living room near Tianxing Bridge. They spend their money together every month, 600 yuan. Because the man's family has a heavy financial burden, Xiao Zhang supports himself with his own money. Xiao Zhang said that life under the same roof, although bumpy, made them more tacit, constantly discovering each other's advantages and making her feel that life is very interesting. However, I finally asked, after the novelty, will you regret living together too early and lose your mystery? Xiao Zhang thought about it and said frankly, "It's possible."
According to a recent survey of some college students by experts, it is not uncommon for students to live together outside school. Among the students surveyed, 13% admitted having sex, and most of them were boys. 62% students agree that premarital sex is allowed as long as they are in love with someone. And 85% students think that men and women who have had sex don't have to get married. This is a great challenge to the traditional concept of wholehearted.
From the individual level of college students, there are three main situations in which college students live together. One is cohabitation as proof of love. A considerable number of female college students have sex with their boyfriends because they are unwilling, unwilling or afraid to refuse their boyfriends' demands and express their loyalty to love in the form of personal commitment. This kind of cohabitation belongs to unmarried cohabitation, which many people understand as "trial marriage". The second is to live together for money. There are two main types of female college students who step into this cohabitation life. One is that they are willing to be lovers because they are forced to betray themselves and give up their self-esteem because of their poor family and poor life. There are also some female college students who love leisure and hate work, love enjoyment and have strong vanity. So they indulge themselves and exchange their bodies for material benefits. This cohabitation is based on transactions. Whether female college students know that the other party has a spouse objectively infringes on the interests of spouses in large-scale legal marriages. This kind of cohabitation is illegal. Third, college students' misunderstanding of "successful education". Some college students understand "success" as becoming famous, getting married and having money. In order to succeed, a few female college students, relying on their youth, beauty and special status of college students, committed themselves to high-level people in society; In order to earn money, some female college students are willing to be slaves of money, "sell" in front of others and act as senior prostitutes. In recent years, the prostitution cases of female college students have been continuously cracked, reflecting that some college girls have distorted their money concepts and declined their moral concepts.
Psychological research shows that men and women have different attitudes and pursuits towards cohabitation. In love and cohabitation, women often regard each other as their whole life, and their bodies and minds are bound to each other. For most women, the motivation for cohabitation is marriage. Most men who live together are for the comfort and physical satisfaction of the opposite sex, and most men have no intention of getting married in the process of living together. Secondly, China has been a patriarchal society since ancient times, and this idea still affects people today. This has caused many young men's ambivalence: on the one hand, they want to have sex before marriage; On the other hand, there is a virgin plot, hoping that his marriage partner is a virgin, and there is obviously a double standard in sexual moral evaluation. It can be seen that the first sexual infidelity, the disappointment of love and the pressure from family and society have greatly dampened the psychology of female college students in cohabitation.
At present, China lacks sex education books suitable for college students, and sex education at home and school is almost blank. Female college students do not pay attention to sexual health care and hygiene when they have sex. Abortion is often carried out in secret, and there is often no rest and nutrition after operation. Repeated abortion causes premature aging, organ damage, and severe loss of fertility. Some female college students committed suicide because of "emotional change" and paid the price of their lives.
University is a critical period for growth and the best period for study. The main task of college students at school is to study and prepare for entering the society in the future. People's time and energy are limited, so it is difficult for college students living together to handle the contradiction between living together and learning to make friends. Especially the female college students who live together, they are often confined to the world of two people, closed in a narrow circle, which is not conducive to self-awareness and self-improvement, to information exchange and complementarity, and to the healthy development of body and mind.
The cohabitation of college students is an important issue related to social progress and human civilization. Family, society and schools should work together to strengthen education and guide students to correctly understand their own tasks, cultural background, historical mission and social responsibility.
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Analysis on cohabitation of contemporary college students
Adolescence is a process from naivety to maturity. However, today's college students are at a critical moment of transition from childishness to maturity. Due to the remaining characteristics of naivety and weak resistance to temptation, as well as the younger age of sexual and physical maturity, many college students have experienced sex and even moved towards cohabitation. ...
The so-called cohabitation is explained in Modern Chinese Dictionary. 1 Living together means that husband and wife live together, but some experts believe that 1 is a happy behavior in a certain period of time, 2 is a trial marriage, and 3 is a de facto marriage that does not fulfill the legal form. The author agrees with this explanation. With the sound development and perfection of China's legislative system, in order to avoid all kinds of disputes caused by divorce, the state advocates "trial divorce". In this regard, the author believes that cohabitation of contemporary college students is a prelude to marriage. If two lovers hit it off here, they will be loyal to their families and there will be no such thing as "divorce". Statistics show that the divorce rate in China has far exceeded the marriage rate in recent years. This shows that some people are blind to marriage.
College students are mature in intelligence, instinct and sexual function. They often combine sexual consciousness with love closely, resulting in a strong sexual impulse. The survey shows that almost all students have had sex when they live together, and many students have had premarital sex. In addition, marginality accounts for a considerable proportion, almost equal to the proportion of falling in love. Of course, it is normal for college students to have sexual impulses easily, which conforms to the law of human sexual physiology and psychological development. However, sexual impulse must be properly handled, otherwise it may lead to sexual deviation, affect students, and even lead to a series of problems such as sexual indulgence and sexual crimes. We should learn to restrain ourselves rationally and morally, keep a haircut mentality, learn to transfer and mediate psychology and attention, and consider the consequences beyond a certain limit.
China's laws and regulations prohibit "illegal cohabitation", and contemporary college students' cohabitation is not protected by law. From the educational system, colleges and universities lack sex education courses for students, and students' premarital sexual behavior and cohabitation behavior cannot be simply judged by "right" and "wrong". At present, cohabitation is against the rules of colleges and universities, and almost all colleges and universities will punish students who live together illegally or have sexual relations until they are ordered to drop out of school.
We should pay attention to the phenomenon of illegal cohabitation of college students. At present, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. It is a complex social problem, involving the influence and problems of ethics, laws and regulations, which should not be underestimated.
The vast majority of college students themselves disapprove of cohabitation before marriage, although they are more tolerant than before. Many students' premarital cohabitation will affect their studies more or less, but in the state of no economic foundation and uncertain future, cohabitation can not effectively guide love to marriage, and may eventually leave more harm to both parties. As a result, there are more and more things caused by college students' cohabitation. The big ones may be harmful to health and bad atmosphere, while the big ones may violate the law and endanger society. In recent years, related cases have emerged one after another.