She has two daughters and a son, one of whom has been in the "slow class" for several years.
In her parenting experience, three words are very important, and that is to say "I love you" to her children.
Perhaps it is embarrassing for many parents in China to express their love to their children, fearing that too much praise will make them complacent. At first, Li Fang felt the same way, thinking it was "disgusting" to tell the children that I love you.
But in the process of getting along with children, I gradually found that it is very important to praise and encourage children, which can directly make them feel their love for themselves. In the book "I Send Three Children to Harvard" published later, Li Fang wrote that expectations and praise from parents are the driving force for children's positive progress.
Later, she often said "I love you" to her children, even when she criticized them, she did not forget to say "I love you". In this way, when the child is depressed, there will be no resistance, and the child also knows that even if he does something wrong, his mother still loves himself.
Carl Pickhardt, a member of the American Psychological Association, once pointed out that children with low self-confidence are unwilling to try challenging things because they are afraid of failure and disappointing others.
As a parent, please don't be stingy with your love. Say love to your children as boldly as Li Fang.
As a representative of outstanding graduates of Harvard University, He Jiang stood on the podium of Harvard University's graduation ceremony, alongside the famous director Spielberg, who was also the first person from China to give a speech at Harvard University's graduation ceremony.
He Jiang's parents are from the countryside. In order to prevent their two sons from becoming left-behind children, they chose to stay in the countryside with their sons instead of going out to work like other parents.
They also like to study with their sons. If the mother can't read, she will ask her son to tell the story in the textbook to herself, and she will also ask her son for leave to discuss what she doesn't understand. Both sons are happy to teach their mother.
Although parents' educational methods are simple, they have a great influence on He Jiang. For He Jiang, it is a positive cognitive feedback to share what he has learned with his parents and get their approval.
Li Fang used the same method when teaching parenting. She pretended not to know anything and asked her son for advice. On the one hand, she established her son's self-confidence, on the other hand, she also stimulated him to study harder.
Roman philosopher seneca said that when we are teaching others, we are also learning. Sharing knowledge is undoubtedly one of the efficient learning methods. Annie Murphy Paul, a special contributor to Time magazine, pointed out in her article that students regard themselves as teachers when studying, and their scores in the experimental results are much higher than those of those who just study.
If you are worried about your child's grades, let him share what he has learned with you. Maybe he will make great progress.
Michelle, a Chinese mother living in the United States, sent her eldest daughter to the Economics Department of Harvard University. Two years later, her little daughter also successfully attended Harvard.
In addition to excellent academic performance, both daughters are American competitive gymnasts.
Michelle believes in elite education very much and has very high requirements for her two daughters.
In her eyes, strong psychological endurance is essential, which is very important for children and parents.
The eldest daughter is an introverted child. When she was a child, she prepared for a long time and still had stage fright. Standing on the podium, the eldest daughter couldn't say a word and stood for more than ten minutes.
Walking off the platform, the child almost collapsed and burst into tears. Michelle, who stood by, did not come forward to comfort her, but only taught her daughter to adjust her mood.
In Michelle's eyes, her daughter must learn how to face the difficulties and crises in life. If you don't have strong psychological endurance, you can't accept the challenge of Harvard University in the future.
The eldest daughter is also very competitive and frustrated in her later years. Later, I participated in community activities, dared to crustily skin of head to interview students, teachers and even principals I didn't know, and with excellent writing skills, I finally became the backbone of the school newspaper.
This harsh education method is unacceptable, and tiger mother Chua Meier has been criticized a lot. But when the daughters grew up, they expressed their gratitude to their mothers in public. The youngest daughter even said that she would be a tiger mother in the future.
Of course, frustration education should also conform to children's personality, step by step, and don't suppress children's enthusiasm, otherwise it will be counterproductive.
Although Tintin suffers from cerebral palsy, under the guidance of Zou Xiuyan and his own efforts, he successfully entered Harvard University.
In the process of educating children, there are two details worth pondering.
After Ding Ding's primary school started, her mother Zou Yuyan gave Ding Ding a Xinhua dictionary. From then on, when she met words she didn't know, Tintin could only look them up in the dictionary. Even if she asked her mother, she would only say "look it up" to Tintin.
Zou Xiuyan has never coached Ding Ding's homework. Even though the teacher told her parents to finish it, she gave it to Tintin. At that time, the teacher asked parents to give students papers, correct them and grade them. Zou Yuyan first asked Ding Ding to write his own paper. After Ding Ding finished, he got 100 directly. Finally, the teacher checked out two wrong questions. Zou Xiuyan also rudely criticized Tintin for being so shy and wrong, and must improve the correct rate.
It is in this learning environment that Tintin gradually developed a good habit of doing his homework independently, which has been affecting his later life. After he was admitted to Harvard University, he prepared for the judicial examination and spent 8- 12 hours studying every day.
Contemporary parents are prone to educational anxiety.
Children only have one chance to grow up, the cost of trial and error is too high, and they don't know enough about educational methods. I hope children can make great achievements. I am cautious about all educational methods, and I can't wait to pile all my resources on my children and live according to the path designed by my parents.
On the contrary, Zou Yuyan let children grow up in the face of natural defects, but let them have independent personalities.
Ding was admitted to five world-class universities, including Harvard University and Stanford University.
In her impression, before the fifth grade, her parents never mentioned learning Olympic Mathematics, although many children around her began to learn Olympic Mathematics from a very young age. Mom and dad try their best to provide the best platform, but what she likes and does, parents never over-control.
In Ding Yuqing's view, to achieve a goal, children need to take the initiative. What you want to learn spontaneously can't be stopped by others. She likes rowing very much, but she goes to training before five o'clock every day. My parents love her dearly and told her not to work too hard. She persisted and didn't complain about bitterness and tiredness.
Even Yong Lian Jr., who has been accompanying her daughter, has not taken good care of her life. In her view, what parents have to do is to plant a seed in the child's heart, and the follow-up efforts must be done by the child himself.
She took the initiative to take her daughter to visit Harvard University and let her feel the atmosphere of Harvard University. Whether you can get into Harvard depends on your daughter's own efforts. Later, my daughter made preparations for entering Harvard University, and she took the initiative. She finally entered Harvard University with music as a bridge.
The author of Free-range Girls Going to Harvard said,
"Getting the correct outlook on life and values through trial and error is the true love. This approach seems simple, but it actually requires parents' understanding, patience and perseverance, which is a great wisdom. "
The mode of raising children is not fixed, but I believe every parent wants their children to be healthy, happy and confident individuals.
Of Zhao Xicheng's six daughters, four graduated from Harvard University, and the other two also studied at William and Mary College and Columbia University.
One of Zhao Xicheng's important experiences in educating children is not to set limits for children.
Zhao Xicheng once said to his eldest daughter, Zhao Xiaolan, "You can't be president because you weren't born in America, but you want to be a minister. Everyone can do better, step by step, and you can reach the highest level. "
Zhao Xiaolan was not only admitted to Harvard University, but also served as the Secretary of Labor of the United States. She is the first Chinese woman to enter the cabinet in American history.
Zhan Qingyun, who borrowed millions of dollars from Harvard, experienced six transfers when he was a child, and went all the way from a rural school to a key middle school. He has put himself through step by step since he was a child.
Talking about her education, she said that her parents attached great importance to her training since she was a child and tried their best to provide the best platform. Under the influence of her parents, she also wants to see the wider world outside.
Parents are children's first teachers, and the process of children's growth is also a process of imitation learning. Parents' actions and words shape their children's future. The future pattern of children is influenced by their parents' eyes. Children will look forward to a broader world if they follow the example of far-sighted parents.
Family education affects children's values, cognitive ability and behavioral ability. In the process of family education, details determine success or failure, and children's future may be hidden in every little thing in daily life.
Of course, parents should be reminded that every child has his own unique personality, hobbies and personality are totally unacceptable, and family education cannot be the same. The way that suits children is the best.