One of my students, she is very kind to her children and will try her best to meet their needs. Her child is probably in the third grade of primary school. Compared with her classmates, her children have everything, but her children told her that time: Mom, you don't love me.
She felt very confused. Why? I'll give you anything you want. Others don't have mobile phones, but you have mobile phones. Others don't have an iPad, you have an iPad ... but the child complains that his mother doesn't love her. She asked: Why?
As far as she is concerned, she loves her children very much and takes care of them very hard, but the children have been complaining.
We know that attention is love.
We know it's simple: attention is love, and how much attention she spends on her children.
Are you concerned about yourself or your children? Especially when children are in kindergarten and primary school, when you are cooking after school, children will be happy to tell you what happened at school and want to share it with you. What should you do at this time? In most cases, mom will answer: mom is cooking!
Yes, you have something very important to do. You kick the child out once, the next day you kick her aside, the third day you kick her aside, and the fourth day she won't tell you again.
All children want is the attention of their parents.
In fact, everyone is the same. Since childhood, we all want others to pay attention to us.
If you don't pay attention to her, she will argue, and if you don't pay attention to her, she will argue. If not, she will do bad things and sabotage. You'll notice her. What children do is just to attract your attention.
But parents don't think so. What parents think is that you'd better leave me alone. I might as well give you everything and send you away. So parents will want to send their children away in this simple way, and then we don't need to pay attention to them because we have more important things to do.
Similarly, the relationship between people is the same. Everyone wants love, but the word love is troublesome. what is love ?
Have you ever thought about what love is? Some people say: money is love.
(student: accompany! Attention! Put your heart on me! Power! Sincerity! Trust! Service! )
I think the best thing about love is an article I read, especially an article in the Bible. We can see what love is first.
1 Corinthians Chapter 13
Love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous, love is not boastful, not arrogant, not shy, not seeking its own benefits, not easily angry, not counting people's evil, not liking injustice, but only liking truth; Everything is tolerant, everything is believed, everything is hoped, and everything is patient; Love never stops.
This is probably the best article about love so far. Do you agree? But it's hard to do.
Attention is love, and attention is the expression of love.
Love is really hard.
What is the hardest thing about love?
Even if you do, you can't help but accept that person's thinking that love is troublesome.
I heard a very interesting story. The Bible says that God had a son, who was still a child. He is mischievous and energetic, and keeps making trouble. God can't stand it. One day, God saw that he was making trouble again, so he leveled the Himalayas and gave him a small shovel, which could be used for several years.
Unexpectedly, he came back three days later. Once when God was drinking coffee, he made another noise. He couldn't stand the noise, so he gave him a coffee spoon and told him to drain the water in the North Sea. A year later, he came back! God said: well, you went to the earth, you taught those people to love, and he didn't come back for more than two thousand years.
Falling in love is hard, really hard. We don't know how to love, just say: attention is love, or attention is a manifestation of love.
When you love someone, you can't help focusing all your attention on him, or when someone pays attention to you, you will feel loved.
Talking about love is not specific, but talking about attention is very specific. Do you know if you pay attention?
Finding yourself without being noticed is the biggest blind spot of people and the beginning of the so-called spiritual growth.
Are you listening to me carefully?
Are you paying attention now?
You answered yes, but it is a question mark whether you pay attention after the answer.
Why do you say that? Because we think our attention is continuous, just like you are sitting here now, and then you think your attention has been here, you will feel that your attention is continuous. But if you are willing to observe yourself more carefully, you will find that your attention may not always be there.
There is a novel by China about it. Have you read it? Have you all read The Journey to the West? Journey to the west has a very powerful effect. What's in the Monkey King?
"Seventy-two changes, somersault cloud, golden eye, golden hoop."
Especially the seventy-two changes of the somersault cloud. Do you think these two things are like our brains?
One minute we were here, the next we went somewhere else, and the next you came back. Is it like riding a somersault cloud and coming back in an instant? Because you went out and came back, and then you thought you were paying attention.
Has our avatar changed seventy-two? It's totally irrelevant that you think about this now and that later.
How did the Bodhisattva treat her? "Tight spell!"
We have been short of basketball. If you read basketball, your attention will always be there. No matter where you go, you will have a splitting headache when you say spells. Wherever he goes, he will know that he has come back obediently.
These are all meaningful.
This is not random. Journey to the West is a book about spiritual practice.
Tell us how to control our thoughts and how to have attention.
The spell is our practice. How can I keep my attention?
Look carefully, there are some characters in it. A very important role. Who else besides the Monkey King?
A: Pig!
What can Pig Bajie do?
A: Lazy, lustful, afraid of death, lazy, lazy!
What is this talking about? Just now the Monkey King was talking about our heads, and Pig Bajie was talking about our bodies. This is our instinct. Then how should we punish Pig Bajie?
Eating and sleeping are very important to us. Who can punish him? Yes, the Monkey King. Treat one.
The pig is lazy, but his body also has his attention. The attention of the body is how to make yourself more comfortable and how to make yourself more labor-saving. This is very important. If you make good use of this part, it will help your growth. We have a pig at home.
Pig Bajie is the second brother. Who is the third brother? Friar Sand. What does Friar Sand do? Work.
What part of us are like Sha Wujing? Sha Wujing, who is also our body, has never been taken seriously. So do we. Our bodies usually do a lot of work for you. Your feet helped you get here. You can't come if you hurt your foot! Is anybody there? When you are not injured or sick, you don't feel anything about your body, and you don't pay attention to it. When you are injured and sick, you will feel something about your body, but our body is very important. We wanted him to do a lot of work, but we never paid attention to him. If you can pay attention to your body, your body will do well.
There is also the most important one in Journey to the West, the Tang Priest. What does Father Tang Can do? A: chanting!
The Tang Priest can only recite scriptures, and he is bent on going to the West. The Tang Priest's full attention is on practice, and Tang Priest also represents love. Tang priest's cry is a higher kind of love, so he is willing to spend all his time on learning the scriptures.
Just like us, why are you interested in spiritual growth? Like Tang priest, you are called by some kind of name. This is because you still have some kind of love in your heart, which is very important.
But can Tang Priest learn from him alone? He was eaten by a monster without taking three steps. Finally, why did he go all the way west, and finally he was able to bring the scriptures back to the East smoothly? Because his disciples, these three disciples are the Monkey King, Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing, and these three are monsters! Simply put, if your mind doesn't listen to you, your body doesn't listen to you, and your instinct doesn't listen to you, they are all monsters. If they listen to you, they are apprentices.
So, are you led by a monster?
Or appease the monster to help you?
So are you led by the nose by the monster, or are you persuaded to do things for you by the monster? This is spiritual growth.
If you look at yourself carefully, don't you? Always inspiring, isn't it?
I feel very good in class, and I have to get up and practice in the morning! Decided to get up at 5 tomorrow! ? As soon as the alarm clock rings: Oh, it's so cold. It's not light yet. Get some sleep.
Who said that? Is that what Pig Bajie said? "It's so cold, why get up so early? What does it matter if you are half an hour late? "
Half an hour late today, half an hour late tomorrow and half an hour late the day after tomorrow, so there is no need to practice any more. Soon we forgot. Next, we had another class and felt very good. We will practice tomorrow, and then Pig Bajie appears again. Instinct doesn't listen to us!
Similarly, our brains don't listen to us. Does your head listen to you? You let him think about this. Is this what he wants? Many times, his head will think for itself, and he can't control it. If he can't control it, it means that we lack attention to him.
Attention is love.
Attention is love. She has two sides.
If your attention can grow, your love will naturally grow. If your love can grow, so can your attention.
When you fall in love with someone, you will pay special attention. You can sing and write poems, but when your love fades, you won't sing and write poems. These are two sides of the same body.
Look at this "love" If this is the definition of love, there is a book by China that defines love more broadly and speaks more profoundly. There are not many words in this book, about 5,000 words-University.
"The way of university is to be well-known, close to the people and stop at perfection."
-"University"
What does this have to do with love?
In ancient times, people entered primary school at the age of seven or eight, and what they learned in primary school was to deal with advance and retreat, basic knowledge, etiquette and music, and the number of books. Yes, it's technical. About fifteen years old, I entered the university. Universities are all aristocratic children, and universities teach these things.
A Shandong man said that when he 15 years old, he was determined to learn. He was weak in his twenties, standing at thirty, not confused at forty, and knowing his destiny at fifty ... Yes, he was Confucius.
The road to university, which has a goal, is divided into three stages, just like our growth.
The first one is "in Ming Ming De",
"Ming" is a kind of expression, and "Germany" has been interpreted in various ways over the years. "Germany" is an inherent and beautiful virtue, so it is actually your original self and your nature.
The first stage: we learn to put all our attention on ourselves, show our inner things, know ourselves and know ourselves.
Then, if we do enough at this stage, we will enter the second stage.
The second stage is "being close to the people" and learning to get along well with others. Wanting to get along well with others has a lot to do with love. Get along well, there will be love. If you don't get along well, there will be no love. The second stage: everyone should learn to let go of themselves and expand your attention to more people.
Then enter the third stage: "stop at the best." "Best" is the best, and the best is: I am good, hello, everyone is good. Only I am good, you are not good, and you are not good. Only we are good, they are not good, and this is not good. Therefore, it is "best" for everyone to be good. This is the goal of our study and the goal of our spiritual growth.
If this is the goal, how can it be "in Mingde"? How do we present ourselves and what I am?
The most important thing in our whole research is:
How can we get attention? Because there is attention, there will be love, because love is to project your attention to a certain place. If you pay attention to a person, he will think you have love. Then let's do an exercise and let's experience it together.
Exercise: Work in pairs. B concentrate on a's hand. B can touch A's wrist to finger, express it through your hand, care about this hand, look at this hand and understand this hand. There is only action, only contact, no language and no conversation in the process. Maybe you heard something from this hand, maybe you want to say something to this hand, and express what you heard and wanted to say through your hand. Close your eyes and feel what will happen.
I want to remind you,
Practical experience has found that true love does not use the word love. When I use the word love, I actually don't love anymore. Cherish is love, you really pay attention to each other, a lot of love is flowing, no language is needed, attention is love. It is difficult for us to pay such long attention to our lover at ordinary times. Do you think it is long? Only five minutes.
Therefore, people are together, not because of the length of time together, but because of the quality and how much attention.
Everyone is concerned. Just how you use your attention. Can you concentrate and put it in one place? It won't take long, just two minutes, and the effect will be very good.
For me, all my teaching focuses on attention, how to have better attention, focus on myself, my family and friends, and put it on the whole, which will be good for the whole world, myself, the group and the whole.
These hexagrams in the Book of Changes can help us understand and exercise how to use our attention.
The first thing is to pay attention to ourselves. In fact, as long as we are doing something, there will be attention. Look at this six-pointed star:
View divination:
The wind is above and the ground is below, so we need to pay attention when observing. As long as we keep watching, your attention is on it. What do you think? There are six stages.
Professional divination:
If I turn it upside down, the following two solid lines and dotted lines will reach the top, the top is the ground, and the bottom is the ze, and you will learn to grow spiritually, and you will specifically say that you want to be present.
Be careful when you approach. What is awareness?
Seeing is awareness, and being aware is imminent. As long as you observe, you must be present. Only when you are present can you observe. A body has two sides, so if you want to live in the present, you must observe yourself attentively. After a while, you will be there. As long as you live in the present, you will observe yourself clearly. This is the first stage. Many people have read self-observation, and you can also be there through self-observation. Let's look at Kun Gua again:
Kun gua:
However, it is still a little difficult to observe whether you are present. It is important to be kind to ourselves when we observe. What is compassion? Look at this Kungua, treating herself as a mother. When observing herself, no matter what she sees and how stupid she is, she should treat herself as a mother, and her mother always accepts us and herself.
Only through observation can we enter the second stage:
To remember yourself is to live in the present.
Not only live in the present, but also remember yourself.
What are you doing? Why are you doing this? After that, you are really "in Mingde". Next, we need to expand our attention.
There are three levels of our attention:
The first is the length of attention. How long can you keep your attention? We seldom think about this part, and most people's attention will not exceed one minute. There is a very famous Buddhist group in Taiwan Province Province. They only meditate for a minute. They think that if you can stay focused and awake for one minute, you will not be far away from enlightenment. Almost enlightened. Not many people can do this.
Second, attention and depth,
This is something we seldom consider.
For example, we can notice our hands,
We can also notice more parts of the body: feet, limbs … more and more, deeper and deeper.
Third, the breadth of concern:
I can feel these three different aspects at the same time.
Pay attention to all three points, breadth, depth and time. This is the real awareness, the real present.
Then, we should exercise our attention by observing divination and divination, usually through sacred dance. There are six steps to observing and approaching divination to help us live in the present.
If you have attention, the next step is how to use it and how to control it.
I found two more hexagrams to illustrate. These two are upside down.
Let me draw it first. This is the sky, and there is fire below. Everyone is the same. They are colleagues. Turn it upside down. Fire above, sky below, this is a great divination.
In The Book of Rites, there is an article called The Book of Rites Datong. Here it is.
The world is big, and this is the greatest love, "the best".
Similarly, there are six steps, but how do I get here from here? What should we do at this stage? Similarly, there is a kind of divination, a kind of divination.
Stone melon: The ground is above and the water is below. This is the second stage. In the first stage, we learn to focus on ourselves, regardless of others, because you must exercise yourself first. In the second stage, the opposite is true. The ground is above and the water is below. What is a teacher? Teachers are the masses. A group of people get together to be called teachers. A group of people get together with a common goal or ideal. This is called a teacher. Without a goal, it is a mob, so there are some rules for a group of people to do something together. Therefore, in teachers, it is emphasized that teachers follow the law, and we should act according to certain laws. Conversely, water and land explain. And these exercises, I have studied the Book of Changes in recent years and expressed these ideas through sacred dance, which is particularly good. Through the sacred dance, to exercise attention and expand attention.
The so-called spiritual growth is actually the growth of attention and the use of attention. If you can make good use of your attention, you can become your master and yourself.
In fact, since ancient times, all masters have only taught one thing: to be their own masters.
We often have misunderstandings. We say that people have brains, brains are good, we also have bodies, and we also have emotions. Traditionally, we always think that the brain is the biggest, dominating the body and emotions, what the brain wants to do and what it thinks is right. Then he will ask the body to do it.
For example, you shouldn't be in a mood right now. So you will oppress yourself and have no emotions.
? You want to sleep now, but your mind says you can't sleep now, and you have to continue working, so in the long run, you will pay a high price emotionally and physically.
I have noticed it for a long time, and I have begun to grow psychologically. What if I didn't notice?
We think that what the mind thinks is ourselves, and everything we do is for the mind. What we can learn by studying the course is to love ourselves. What is love for yourself? We can do whatever we want. Is this love for yourself? If this is your point of view, then you can try another different point of view: I have a brain, I have a body, and I have feelings. But as many masters have said, I am not my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my body, my emotions and my thoughts. Then who am I?
1, and their relationship is:
The mind is the master,
Body and emotion are servants.
2、
I'm the host,
The brain is my servant,
My body is my servant,
Emotion is my servant,
They do what I need.
Then who am I?
If this is the relationship, we will live happily, because you are the real master, otherwise, we will never know who we are.
Who am I?
When you become your own master, you will have attention. When you become your own master, you will have love.
On the other hand, what do you want to exercise yourself? What do you want to grow up spiritually?
Attention! These are two sides of the same body.
How to exercise your attention?
My favorite method is Gurdjieff's rhythmic and spiritual massage, because you have to keep your attention for a long time. You only have five minutes. Our massage takes 70-80 minutes. If you do it wholeheartedly, your attention will be exercised and prolonged.
With the exercise and extension of attention, the breadth and depth of your attention will be exercised.
Question and answer 1:
When you say attention, do you mean living in the present?
Of course it is. Without attention, saying that you are living in the present is just the imagination of your mind.
Question and answer 2
Is there a choice of attention? Does attention have anything to do with choice?
You have to pay attention to your choice. Without attention, it is inertia. With attention, we have will. With attention, we will have consciousness, or better and higher consciousness. If consciousness can last for a long time, it will become will. If we want to decide or do anything, we need the will to succeed. If there is no will, Pig and the Monkey King will come out soon, won't they? A lot of things are not done, and they are always disturbed. It's not others who interfere, but the three monsters in you. With attention, we will be conscious, and with will, you can subdue your monster. Even if you know the spell, you may not be able to pronounce it. Only with consciousness and will can you pronounce. However, the most fundamental thing is to start with attention.
When you put aside all your delusions and obsessions and concentrate on living in the present, people are Buddhas.