There is a saying in the countryside that "the old man is a dragon, whose family is poor", which means that if the elders at home are very capable and do well in all aspects, then whoever he goes to may not be better, but will become poorer and poorer. In the past, there were several children in a rural family. Although parents and old people thought it was fair, after all, a bowl of water was flat, and there would be some places that were not too late. With so many children, there is always prejudice. Under normal circumstances, our thinking is that the elderly have good family conditions, and whoever he helps will have a better life, but the opposite is true.
This is the case with one family in our village. There are no more or less three sons in the family. The eldest son is the most honest and has no great ability. He worked in the factory all his life, married a daughter-in-law and gave birth to a daughter. A family of three is happy. It doesn't matter if the second child doesn't slip away. The third child is different. I have a good parent. Although I didn't study hard, I followed the trend and became a small boss.
Although they are all boys, the rural custom is to prefer boys to girls. If they are all boys, it must be "the old people in the world are small." The third child became a small boss with the wind and water, which took advantage of the petty gain. Dad has a small factory and made a little money. When he is old, he intends to find a successor to run a small factory. He was able to open a small factory in the countryside more than ten years ago. He is a respectable man. He didn't even have to pick, so he directly put the burden on his third son and took his youngest son everywhere to get him on the right track as soon as possible.
After all three sons came of age, the eldest son and the second son went out to look for jobs respectively. Only the third son inherited the family property and continued to do small business in his father's factory, but the good times did not last long, and three or five years passed. Because of environmental problems, these substandard small factories were closed down. The youngest son and his wife are directly unemployed and live on their laurels, but there is nothing they can do and there is no other way to make a living. This is really an old man and a dragon, and people are poor.
The meaning of the sentence "the old man is a dragon, like a poor family" is very simple, because "the dragon gives birth to nine children, and the nine children are different", which means that a person can have many children, but each child is different. If the old man prefers a child from an early age, then this child is definitely the most hopeless and the worst mixed!
Tell you a true story on our side. Today's hero is called Uncle Xue, and all the Zhuangzi people here are surnamed Xue, so we won't entangle this. Uncle Xue has raised three sons and a daughter, and now he is 78 years old. His daughter died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago, and the threshold for female death was broken. So you don't think this door is reliable, because Uncle Xu used to work in our hardware factory and belongs to a state-owned enterprise. After retirement, there is still a retirement salary of more than 2,000 yuan per month.
Uncle Xue's three sons, the eldest son has a formal job as a driver in our transportation company, and his daughter-in-law works as a cashier in a cleaning company. Uncle Xue's second son was in poor health since childhood, and finally took over from Uncle Xue's class. Unexpectedly, he was laid off a few years later. Now he drives a taxi in the city, and his daughter-in-law works as a nurse in a Chinese medicine hospital. Uncle Xue's third son has studied well since childhood. Since ancient times, there has been a saying among the people that "the emperor loves his eldest son and the people love his son". Therefore, Uncle Xue's third son was finally admitted to the university and worked in a research institute in Wuhan, Hubei Province. His daughter-in-law also worked in a telecommunications company.
In those years, Uncle Xu and the old couple were in good health, and Uncle Xu's retirement salary could fully support the old couple's life, so all three sons seemed to be ok. However, since the death of Uncle Xue three years ago, Uncle Xue's wife has no pension, and his son needs to assume the obligation of supporting the elderly at once. According to the truth, both the eldest son and the second son have sons at home, and life is quite tight. Only the third son has good living and economic conditions. In addition, Uncle Xue and his wife are also the best for their third son. So the three brothers discussed it together, meaning that they could find a nanny for the mother with more economic expenses, and the eldest son and the second son were responsible for visiting home every week. It was agreed at that time, but I didn't know that my third son would never be able to contact again after he went back. Now the eldest son and the second son live a tight life, and every time they come back to see their old mother, they come and go in a hurry.
Later, Uncle Xue's wife couldn't stand it, so she sued the third. Later, after coordination by many parties, she threatened her third child by telling her work unit that she was unfilial, and the third child reluctantly agreed to pay 1000 yuan per month for maintenance. Think about it. In the past, Mr. and Mrs. Xue said in front of people that their third son was prolific and could earn more money. Now it has reached this point. On the contrary, the eldest son and the second son have always despised themselves. Every time they go home, they help themselves to wash clothes and sheets.
"The old man is a dragon, who is poor?" This old rural saying came into being in the past when more children were born. In the past, rural people paid attention to having more children and being happy, and there was no family planning. Sometimes they have several sons. The palm of the hand is full of meat, and the old man treats his son as flat as possible. But ten fingers cannot be the same length. There are always children who will please the elderly. If they can get the preference of the elderly, they will get more benefits from the elderly. Then between brothers and sisters, gossip came out, saying who the old man was!
Then, the problem comes out. Who does the old man favor, who will always be given more benefits? Why is he poor for whom? This reflects several reasons.
First, old people tend to be younger, which leads to spoiled thoughts from childhood. As the saying goes, "the old in the world tends to be smaller." This little one refers to the youngest son, called "Laoer". Most parents will spoil this little son and prefer him from childhood. In this case, the child has not been exercised since childhood and lacks the ability to live independently. When you grow up, you can't run your own small family independently, and you often need the preference and care of the elderly. However, the preferences of the elderly are limited. It is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish. The old man died, and this child must be the poorest of his children.
Second, the old man is poor. People's hearts are all meat, and parents want their children to live a good life. However, children have different personalities and abilities, and the life after living independently will definitely be different. At this time, from the psychological point of view of the elderly, it must be a poor child, and the focus will be on this poor child. Normal people are sympathetic to the weak, and so are their parents. In this case, it is because the targeted child has no ability that the family will be poor. I don't have the ability to make a living, and I can't solve the problem with the help of the elderly alone. Therefore, the social phenomenon we see is that the more the elderly ask for help, the poorer their families are. In fact, this is the opposite. Who is poor in the family, the elderly often unconsciously tend to help whom emotionally.
Third, children who are biased by the elderly are not enterprising. No matter which child the old man favors, after a long time, this biased child is often used to being helped by the old man and getting used to the old life, so naturally he can't work hard. As the saying goes, "A good son never leaves his family." Parents' preferences are always poor. People still have to rely on themselves, eat their own food, sweat their own sweat, rely on the sky and rely on their ancestors. It's not a hero. Only by working hard and striving for a world can they live a good life.
To sum up, the old saying in the countryside is a summary of life. "The old man is a dragon, whose family is poor" is a special product of the era of many children and grandchildren. There are many only children now, so there is no such problem. And the old people are too fond of the only child and too subsidized, which makes it easier to cultivate their children's mouth inertia. Therefore, we should understand some truth from the phenomenon of "who is poor to the old" in the past. Don't be too partial to children. The greatest love for children is to cultivate their ability, independent personality and enterprising spirit from an early age. Don't you agree?
In rural areas, there is a saying that "the old man is a dragon, and the family is poor to whom", which is similar to the saying that "if there are old people at home, they will get the treasure". In other words, if there is an old man at home who has reached a certain age, children will not find it troublesome to take care of the old man.
Because the old man is still healthy at this age, it shows that his children and grandchildren are blessed. However, this sentence is quite convincing in the former countryside; But in recent years, many farmers have different feelings when they read this sentence. Some farmers combine their own experiences and think that this sentence is slowly sad and tearful.
In the past, there were many children in rural families. With more children, parents will always be partial to individual children. Children who are biased by their parents don't get along very well later. Rural children need to have their own survival ability when they grow up, and their parents can't replace their growth when they are old. It is no longer possible for parents to be partial to a child, but for a rural child, it is easier for parents to cultivate their children into the habit of "using clothes to get enough food" and to cultivate older children.
Rural parents can do well when they are young, and work hard to earn the most money. For example, among many children, they usually only like their sons, so they usually give them money. They have formed the habit of doting on themselves. On the whole, they only know how to gamble and play cards, but they don't know how to go out to work to make money. After a hundred years, their parents will leave the most money, their children are used to eating what their parents have already cooked, and their family expenses are so large. I'm afraid that the savings they left them before they died will be spent all at once. It is strange that parents spoil those who are not poor.
As parents in rural areas, they all hope that their children will be promising in the future. Parents who can cultivate a promising child in a family are the happiest. Now the parents of ordinary families are the most tired and the most difficult. People's lives are under great pressure now. It is really hard for parents of ordinary families to earn money to support their families and children. Now the educational requirements for children are also high. Some children study well, while others study in general. No matter whether they study well or not, as long as they can cultivate their independent ability from an early age, their future life will be better and better.
Rural parents are frugal in order to reduce the burden on their children and lay a solid foundation for their career. However, if it is difficult for their children to live up to expectations, even if their parents have "three golden mountains" of gold and silver, if their children do not do their jobs well, they will be squandered in the future.
In short, many old sayings in rural areas are actually reasonable, although most of them have no scientific basis. It is the accumulation of many years' experience of some farmers, and it is all words to persuade people to be good, which was and is now.
In rural areas, elderly people with many children tend to be younger. Do you believe it or not? There is such a family in the hometown of Silkworm Village. He is a relative of my family. I call him uncle.
Uncle used to be a teacher when he was young, but he disdained feudal and superstitious arranged marriage, which made one of his students pregnant. I had to come back for a divorce, took a student sister from Qixia and gave birth to four children. The eldest son took over his father's job because of his age and went to Qixia to work. Because the older girl was not satisfied with her work in the countryside, she followed the northeast people to the northeast and got married and stayed in the northeast. The second girl, with heavy eyebrows and big eyes, worked hard in the field and took a fancy to the boy who was a barefoot doctor. I stayed in the village and lived a comfortable life. But the difference between the youngest son and the eldest son is 15 years old. The most overbearing and favored one in the family.
He didn't study very well at that time. He stayed in the third grade of primary school for six years and kept giving gifts to high school through the back door. Cudgel at school knows nothing. You will eat and drink. The school couldn't keep him, so it sent him home. At that time, the production team had just been disbanded, and production quotas settled in various households. He may not do this, but just loaf around all day and rely on his parents to support him. It is still like a treasure. There is a saying in the countryside that old people spoil their children, such as killing them. In this way, this family, the youngest, has been eating and drinking in the countryside for many years, eating parents' money and relying on their parents to feed. Later, their parents died of illness, and he couldn't cook, so he went to the second sister's house to eat and drink all day.
Later, second sister couldn't help it. Thanks to her brother-in-law, she went to the mine to find a job, but she was afraid of death and didn't want to go down to earn more money. As a result, she was still single in her forties. Although her parents left him six big tile houses, she couldn't even cook a meal. Then a divorced daughter-in-law with a child came for a few months. Daughter-in-law came to ask for his real estate and money, stole everything at home, and daughter-in-law ran away.
In her fifties, she finally found a small village widow in Linglong town, which is close to the mine, and was adopted by others, so she had a woman who cooked and washed clothes and bought a house and married her son. Do you think this kind of life is miserable? Has the sentence "the old man is a dragon, whose family is poor" come true?
Rural people say that there is an old man at home, if there is a treasure, because the old man can help take care of the family. This old saying is true. The old man is both a treasure and a lamp, pointing out the direction for the family and presiding over the housework. But there is an old saying in the countryside, the old man is a dragon, and who is poor? To tell the truth, when Jiao Xiao first heard this sentence, he really didn't know what it meant, because in my heart, he always thought that the old man would never harm the child, so why did he make the child poor? Today we will talk about this problem!
There is a legend in ancient China that the dragon gave birth to nine sons, which are ranked by size as the eldest son, the second son, the third son, Chifeng, the fourth son, Bulun, the fifth son (suān ní), the sixth son, the seventh son (bì àn) and the seventh son.
In the past, there were many children in every family, so there was a saying that "the old man is a dragon".
In fact, the phrase "the old man is a dragon and his family is poor" means that there were many children in rural areas in the past, and many parents could not make a bowl of water to treat their children. They must be partial to a child, which is what we are talking about now. Then, a child who grew up in a doting environment is basically living a life of "clothing to reach out and mouth to mouth". He doesn't have to do many things by himself, but his parents help him. Parents always think of him first if there is anything good.
Children living in such an environment must have poor independence. So now there are many "neets" in the countryside. Young people don't make progress, don't go out to earn money, and don't consider how to honor their parents. On the contrary, when they get married in their twenties and thirties, they have to reach out to their parents who are digging holes in the field to find food. That must be a miserable life.
In fact, many people know that parents in China want to create the best life for their children, but they ignore the influence of excessive doting on their children's future.
There is a family in Jiaojiao Village with a daughter and a son. The daughter is fine and sensible. However, my son 18 years old. I dropped out of school and went home in junior high school. He eats and sleeps at home all day and is chubby. In the evening, he often goes to Internet cafes to play games all night. People at home don't know how to greet him or go out to work to earn money. But their parents think their son is fine and they are proud to talk to others. Sometimes even Jiao Xiao is worried about them. Can this baby marry a wife in the future?
Therefore, personally, parents should not spoil their children too much, especially now that many families only have one baby, and the baby is as distressed as he is, afraid of falling and being hungry. Actually, I don't think it's necessary to care too much. If you fall, you must get up. Hungry for two meals is nothing. This is how we came when we were young, and we have never seen anything important.
Seeing this question reminds me of a topic a little colleague asked me a few years ago. She is a young woman who just got married. Because my husband's family has two sons, she and her husband have fixed government jobs and stable income. They also bought a house in the county, and the other son has no fixed income and works hard to make money. So she always feels that the old man in her husband's family is always partial to another son, which is not good for her. She was puzzled and asked me. She asked me, you also have two sons, both married. As an elder, in your heart, what do you think is fair to treat your two sons? I smiled and said that there is no absolute fairness in the world, and the old people treat the younger generation the same. Old people think that fairness is fairness. She's confused. I went on to say, for example, my two sons, one of whom is more capable and has a better family, the other is more average and not very rich, or because of irresistible natural and man-made disasters, life is very difficult, and the old man will definitely help more, while the relatively rich one will definitely help less. The old man thinks this is the fairness in his heart. After my explanation, she was relieved and stopped worrying about it. The old man asked who was poor and reasonable.
There is an old saying in the countryside called "Lao Zi is a hero". In fact, this sentence is really inaccurate. If all the old people in the family are capable, will the child have a dragon? Not necessarily. The more spoiled you are at home, the less you will grow up. On the contrary, those children who are not taken special care of may have a bright future. Even children who live in the same family have very different development. Usually, the unpopular children develop better, while the children you favor are nothing. As the old saying goes, "The old man is a dragon, whose family is poor?". How do you say this?
In fact, this sentence is very simple, that is to say, if the parents at home develop better and favor which child, then the child will not be too rich, but may become the poorest. At present, there is only one child in the family, and there is no situation that the only child is biased towards which child. It is only when there are several brothers and sisters at home that there will be "the old man is a dragon, and whoever is poor is poor."
There are many living examples of this in our village. I will simply share with you one thing around me. There used to be many foundries in our village. I don't know if you know anything about this industry. Is to give some heavy machinery parts, with molten iron casting model. These parts can be sold. At that time, there were several companies in our village doing this business, and I heard that they also made a lot of money. One of them is the best, that is, Uncle Wang's family. Uncle Wang has two sons. The eldest son is honest and the youngest son is clever. Although both children are their own, it is obvious that Uncle Lao Wang still likes his younger son and is partial to him everywhere.
When Uncle Wang retired, the younger son got married and got married, so he directly handed over the factory to the younger son, and the older son went to work in a more formal local factory. The youngest son may have been spoiled since childhood. After he took over the factory, he started eating, drinking, whoring and gambling, and slowly lost all uncle Wang's money, and the factory closed. What a rainy night. My daughter-in-law divorced him when she saw that he was so disappointing and had too many bad habits Originally, she belonged to a family with good conditions in our village, but now she is not even ordinary.
Uncle Wang's eldest son has been working hard, and later he gradually became a small supervisor in the factory. The better the married life at home, the better the understanding of the wife, the filial piety of the children and the good study. Although married life is not particularly rich, it is also dull and moist.
In fact, according to the truth, the youngest son inherited a large inheritance from his father, which should be the richest and best, but now he has really become a poor old man. If he were not so prejudiced, he might not be so prejudiced.
"The old man is a dragon, who is poor?" To understand the meaning of this old saying, let you know a beautiful girl first and then tell you a true story.
Yes, the girl in the photo is tall. She is 25 years old, studying for a master's degree at Shanxi University, and is also a national second-class track and field athlete. At an early age, medals have filled the table. But what you can't imagine is that she has one less arm than ordinary people.
In the era of the only child, every child is the treasure of the family. But Sean never knew who his parents were! Sean would have died if a 60-year-old man who was kind enough to pick up junk had not found it.
It was an afternoon in 1994. Grandma Gao saw many people looking at a paper box. Some people shook their heads, and some people regretted it. Grandma Gao came closer and saw that it was a baby girl! But no left arm! Because of this, people took one look and walked away!
Grandma Gao took her in and just took her home when it began to rain cats and dogs outside. One step later, Sean will be dead!
Grandma Gao is an old man who lives alone by collecting rags and doing odd jobs by herself. After taking in girls, life is even more difficult. However, both of them gritted their teeth and survived!
What's more difficult is that girls can't go to school because they don't have hukou. Grandma Gao knelt everywhere, and finally a remote primary school was willing to accept her. Sean is excellent in both academic performance and academic performance. When the family was in arrears and the power went out, Sean insisted on finishing his homework under the street lamp. In junior high school, Sean was in danger of not going to school because he didn't have a hukou. Fortunately, a remote middle school accepted her again.
For dozens of miles, it costs three yuan per ride. In order to reduce grandma's burden and pick up some rubbish along the way, Sean runs to and from school every day. Unexpectedly, this made her a running genius. In high school, she won all the championships in the school track and field events and was rated as a national second-class athlete.
Thanks to Sien's unremitting efforts, I was admitted to Shanxi University! In the eyes of others, Shanxi University is not a high-grade school, but for children who have been studying in remote places, this achievement is enough to make their families and themselves proud!
Grandma Gao was worried about tuition, but fortunately, with the help of good people and the charity Federation, Sean finally entered the university classroom.
Last year, when preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination, Grandma Gao fell ill. When preparing for the exam, Sien took care of her grandmother who was ill in hospital and gave her a bath, but these are nothing here! She got into graduate school as she wished! I will graduate next year.
Grandma Gao's face is full of pride and happiness!
The story is over! Imagine how many only children around us have been spoiled by their parents, or played truant because of playing games, or failed to go to college, or made eating old a habit. ......
There are also families with many children. Who do parents love when they are young and who are the most unworthy when they grow up! And those who are treated coldly by their parents have become a big climate! The final ending of Su Ming Yu and his second brother Su Mingcheng in Everything is OK also explains everything.
The old man is a dragon, who is poor! Remind everyone to love children moderately! Spoil who hurts who! Everyone who is growing up needs to go through the trials of wind and rain, which is so smooth. It's just a tender branch that can't stand the wind and rain!
This sentence is very reasonable, I agree. But what needs to be understood is that this proverb only refers to families with many children.
First of all, we must understand the meaning of dragons to the elderly. The metaphor here is that the parents are dragons, and dragons have nine different sons: prison bull, revenge dog, mocking wind, Braun, ragged dog, ragged dog, multi-section dog and kiss. As children grow up, their personalities and hobbies have different development fates. There are well-developed, stunted, well-developed parents who are not worried … and so on! As parents, they must be fond, well-developed and obedient children; But some children don't develop well for various reasons, and the elderly can't ignore them. After all, they are their own children! They will involuntarily "favor" those "poor" children. In many cases, they will help these poor children in the dark. And what about those good children who are capable and obedient? They are more assured of the elderly, so the love of the elderly will be more inclined to "poor" children. It seems that whoever the old man loves to take refuge in is poor. This phenomenon that most old people prefer children is too normal, which is why such an old saying has been formed.