(A) an accurate understanding of the connotation of emotional management
People often have two misunderstandings about emotional management: one is that emotional management is only negative emotional management; Second, emotional management is equivalent to emotional suppression. In fact, there is no good or bad mood. There are both negative emotions and positive emotions, and it is not necessary to completely eliminate them. Emotion cannot be completely eliminated, but it needs to be effectively channeled and the subsequent beliefs and behaviors straightened out.
(2) Start to learn some knowledge about physiology, psychology and dialectics related to emotions.
By understanding the physiological conditioned reflex, temper yourself to "be calm in every major event", cultivate humiliation and avoid stress reaction; Understand the psychological defense mechanism, pay attention to avoid negative defense mechanism every day, and guide emotions to have a positive effect. By studying dialectics and understanding that no one is perfect, we can accept more negative people or things in our life or work.
(3) master the method of distinction and learn to distinguish between people or things.
That is, when people encounter everything, they learn to distinguish between what they can control and what they can't. Through division, learn to accept what is acceptable and give up what can be given up.
(D) Master several effective emotional management tools.
Basic theory of emotional cognition.
ABC's emotional management theory is considered as a cognitive therapy. According to this theory, people's emotions are not caused by an induced event itself, but by the explanation and evaluation of the event by people who have experienced it. In ABC theoretical model, A refers to induced events; B refers to the corresponding belief of an individual after encountering an induced event, that is, his view, explanation and evaluation of this event; C refers to the result of an individual's emotion and behavior in a specific situation. People usually think that people's emotional and behavioral responses are directly caused by the induced event A, that is, cause A and cause C. ABC theory points out that induced event A is only an indirect cause of emotional and behavioral responses, while people's beliefs, opinions and explanations of induced event B are the more direct causes of emotional and behavioral responses.
2.ABCDE's emotional reconstruction theory
ABCDE theory is an extension of ABC theory, which refers to:
A: Adversity and subjective judgment are bad things. Note that this is only an objective fact.
B: I believe that your views on this matter are often subconscious, that is, how do you explain it. This is subjective judgment.
C: Consequence, your behavior is a concrete action based on your view on this matter.
D: Refute, that is, re-examine whether B's point of view is correct and look at this matter from other angles. The point is to accept the unchangeable and change the changeable.
E: electrify and excite. After D refutation, if a new view of things is formed, then this new behavior is inspired.
3. Faith Law
Focus: detect your own improper beliefs and focus on it for cognition. In other words, when you encounter external events, don't subconsciously "summon" them, but stop and think: Are these ideas right? Why do they appear directly in my mind? Do I need to reflect on them?
Relieve: Let yourself relax, and then slowly adjust and improve your state.
Update: use brand-new positive beliefs, substitute situations and interpret things.
Switch: If you change your perspective, from extroversion to introversion, and do reverse thinking, you can switch yourself to another emotional channel.
4,4as technology
When individuals fall into negative emotions, such as distress and anger, and are easy to act impulsively, use 4AS technology to manage their emotions by themselves, thus changing their emotions:
A: Ask, that is, ask and reflect;
S: Steps are steps:
1. Is it worth it? Self control!
2. Why? Clarify yourself!
3. Is it reasonable? Self-correction
4. What should I do? Adjust yourself!
If a person has mastered the four simple tools mentioned above and trained for a long time, he will definitely become an expert in emotional management.