A letter to my first boyfriend.
XXX:
1. The day I said goodbye to you, it snowed heavily. I stood on the balcony with tears on my face. I'm not sure who you really like in your heart I was waiting for you to say goodbye, but no, you didn't say anything. I don't really want to break up with you.
I personally gave you many lucky stars before breaking up, and I planned to give them to you at Christmas, but before that day, we broke up. These lucky stars have been kept in my college graduation drawer, and I dare not touch them when I pack my things. There are also giant pandas and small cows you gave me in that box.
I once saw the short message you sent to the kitten, and my heart ached badly. I know you're getting back at me. I don't blame you, and I don't question the kitten. I told myself in my heart that if you really like him, you can stay with her as long as you feel happy, but I secretly cried all night. The next day, my eyes were swollen and painful, and I was afraid to go to class.
In fact, I regret breaking up with you in my heart, but I have never said anything regretful to you. Maybe you don't understand how proud I am. I never tell others my heart easily, including my family and friends. This may be what others often say. I am also a person who doesn't like to admit mistakes, otherwise I wouldn't explain it to you, which made us misunderstand each other for so long. I always thought you were looking at me with your heart, not your eyes, but you still don't understand the feeling of anxiety and the subtle sadness in my heart.
5. Be friends with you after breaking up. We are all suffering silently, but we just don't want to show it. I don't know whether friendship is greater than love or love is greater than friendship after breaking up for so long. It's just that you are still a good friend, and the warmth is still there when I am with you.
XXX
XXXX。 X. X
Letter to my first boyfriend Part II
Pounds:
I don't know. That nerve was touched. Suddenly, I thought of you, thinking very hard. When I woke up in my dreams several times and couldn't sleep at night, I thought of you. I miss you so much that I can't even listen to Winnipeg's taste. I have too much heartache and regret for you.
That night, I saw you in my dream, and I was ecstatic to try to hold you. And you, however, smiled and then casually avoided my outstretched hands. The clear clouds at that moment made me suddenly understand why Tagore said. No one is waiting for you in the same place? . What's the use of crying? We have come a long way in the days of separation, and I have no strength to go back. Unfortunately, it goes deep into the bone marrow. I used to think that my world would be bright without you. Now I know that without you, I will lose my youth.
Life is not very difficult for me. I met many people after you. I once tried to start a relationship. But your shadow is everywhere, and I became a reality after you left. In the boring choice, I miss you more, because you are the only feeling that I don't mix any secular substances.
Every holiday, I want to see you immediately. But, but the scenery remains the same and the people are completely different. You have accepted the baptism of life, and no one will stay where you are. Although I am proud, I certainly don't want to face this reality directly.
Before I thought of long-distance running, I mentioned you to my old friend. Maybe for you and me, the long-distance running was nothing, but for the onlookers, it was touching and unforgettable. At this point, I realized how many plots I neglected when I was ignorant. If I had realized this earlier, I don't think I would have let you go. But that's only if I want to cry every time I think about it. Why, why should I miss you?
I once told a man that in his old age, he would hide in an unknown corner of the park and secretly miss me, thinking very hard. Now I know that I will miss you when my face is haggard. Maybe it's someone you spent your life with, or maybe it's an old friend, thinking about the youth that passed away with you, it should be very sweet!
LB, I really have too many regrets for you. Once upon a time, we were also in love! ! But losing you now may be the biggest mistake of my life.
I can always think of you, whether in the dead of night dormitory or in a crowded bar. Tears are you, songs are you, you, you have penetrated into every corner of my life. But I will hide you carefully. You are my memory. I shouldn't always take you out to hurt other people who care about and love me.
XXX
XXXX。 X. X
Letter to my first boyfriend Part III
Dear Lao Cheng:
After thinking about the beginning of countless versions, I finally decided to tell you frankly and write to you because I miss you very much. The reason is that I went to my hometown last week, and I went to Fish Leong's concert alone. About an hour after the opening, she sang our favorite song "Breathing Pain". As soon as the melody started, I excitedly waved the glow stick and hummed along. As soon as the chorus was played, my mood surged secretly until I sang the last sentence:? I want you to come back and start over. ? I slipped into the chair like a deflated ball and cried in the fluorescent ocean.
In the past two years, I have searched your mobile phone number at least hundreds of times in WeChat search. You are so stingy. The picture remains unchanged for ten thousand years, without signature. Only the address was changed from Dalian, Liaoning to Nantes, France. Friends circle is invisible to strangers, so it's frustrating to speculate on your recent situation. That's all the closest people can pay attention to now.
To tell the truth, I have never been so affectionate in these two years. I speciously talked about two boyfriends. I have classes during the day and occasionally go shopping, eat and drink with my friends. Life is still moist, but it is difficult to get up occasionally, and it is a day without you. From senior one to senior four, we spent the whole youth hand in hand, being lovers, friends and family. When I first separated, my friends and even my parents bombarded me on the phone and advised me to think again and not to let go of each other's hands so easily.
Yes, it's difficult for us. In high school, teachers and parents chased and blocked, threatened and lured, and fought guerrilla warfare for three years. When volunteering, in the kiosk of the teaching building, we compare more than 200 pages of volunteer books from one school to another with Baidu map, no matter 2 1 1, 985. We just want the shortest distance and the farthest future. As a result, your school is in a suburban campus, three hours away from the urban area, which is considered a different place. Looking back now, I can't help but raise my mouth.
You have a serious cleanliness addiction, but you have crowded the bus for me for a year, and you refused to let me see you because you were afraid that something would happen to me on this road. Being loved by you in the palm of your hand, the cold night in the future is not so difficult to endure. In love, it is really unfair to compare with others, but I still can't help it. Later people, no matter how good they are, can't reach their hearts. It's better than carrying them.
Polite and gentle, you are too sincere.
Once a friend was drunk and pointed at my nose and said, you love each other so much, but you don't care. I'm also confused about this problem. We are probably people who want to live in the world for a long time. We have long taken a fancy to Vanke City near our school. My parents paid the down payment, and we will pay the rest slowly. We also decided to buy a Volvo the year after graduation. You take me to work every day, and we had a baby at the age of 29. We have imagined almost all the future, which is very realistic and stable, and we have not set the breakup as a possible event at all.
But I still haven't crossed the seven-year itch. I guess you are as sad as I am. It's a pity that graduation photo is not our wedding photo. In the summer of 20 13, I applied for graduate school, and you received an offer from a French university. No matter how good the plan is, it can't compare with the shiny notice. There are too many bad examples of long-distance relationships breaking up around me, so I insist on breaking up. I'm afraid of the pain of not being able to hug across the screen. Actually, it's your fault. Over the years, you have taken care of almost everything in my life for me. You have taken care of me so well that I am so headstrong that I refuse to make any concessions.
I really hate myself, making a scene and embarrassing you so much. Cheng, I can't define that we have separated. Maybe we really met the right person at the wrong time.
No wonder Shen Fu warned future generations in Six Chapters of a Floating Life that husband and wife should not hate each other, nor should they be too affectionate, so as to avoid extreme joy and sorrow.