Campus love is a "double-edged sword"
Campus love is more a process than a result.
According to the survey, 44% of the students are in love, 6 1% of them have been in love, 9% of them have a wait-and-see attitude, and they can consider falling in love once they have a suitable partner. Only 12% of the students do not intend to fall in love during their college years. It can be seen that it is very common for college students to fall in love at school. They pay more attention to seeking happiness emotionally in heterosexual communication, and regard the success of love as unimportant. Even some students think that love has nothing to do with marriage, which shows that they pay more attention to the process rather than the result when they are in love. It is precisely because marriage is no longer the purpose, but just the feeling of love and being loved, so the success rate is extremely low.
Lack of correct guidance
As for the formation of love views, it can be seen from the survey results that "communication among peers, classmates and friends" and "naturally forming some views when growing up" have become the main ways for college students to understand love, accounting for 46.74% and 47.04% respectively; However, "the teaching of school teachers" and "the influence of outstanding figures or celebrities" only account for 5.55% and 8.83%. It can be seen that when college students encounter emotional problems, they seldom ask teachers for help or get relevant inspiration from celebrities, but rely more on themselves and their peers to solve them. They grew up in different environments with their parents, and there is a generation gap to some extent. They have similar experiences and feelings with their friends and classmates, so it is easier to communicate. However, due to their inexperience and lack of systematic and comprehensive understanding of love, college students cannot correctly treat emotional problems. They still need the correct guidance from schools and parents. At the same time, we also find that there are some differences between boys and girls in the formation of love concept. 20.37%, 29.65% and 4.93% of boys and 9.86% and 17.38% of girls chose "their own experience", "some opinions are naturally formed with age" and "the influence of people's opinions and customs in society". This shows that boys are more dependent on their own experiences and ideas, and less influenced by family and society, while girls are more concerned with family and social customs, and more influenced by media such as the Internet, film and television novels, which is also related to the fact that girls prefer to watch literary and artistic film and television works depicting love in real life.
The influence of social atmosphere on college students' mate selection criteria
Judging from the choice of mate selection criteria, both boys and girls attach great importance to each other's "personality", with the selection rates of 72.5% and 70.92% respectively. "Personality" and "like-minded" are also generally recognized criteria for mate selection by boys and girls, which are 46. 1% and 32.73%, 22.5% and 30% respectively. It can be seen that college students nowadays pay more attention to the tacit understanding between the two sides and the consistency of ideal values. There are obvious differences between men and women in the choice of "appearance", "dedication" and "comprehensive ability". In the choice of "appearance", the selection rates of boys and girls are 25.4% and 3% respectively; In the choice of "enterprising spirit", the selection rates of boys and girls are 12.7% and 41.85% respectively; In the choice of "comprehensive ability", the selection rates of boys and girls are 9.8% and 47.4% respectively. It can be seen that boys pay more attention to looks when choosing a spouse, while girls pay more attention to boys' enterprising spirit and comprehensive ability, which basically meets the social requirements for gender roles of men and women.
It is worth noting that a few boys chose "money", which is a condition that we began to think that girls would pay more attention to. Especially in Shanghai, where China's economy is the most developed, this situation is the most. This may be related to the fierce social competition in Shanghai and the need for boys to bear greater economic pressure. Most girls who choose "money" are concentrated in literature, history and art majors. Perhaps because of literature, history and art majors, female students have more opportunities to contact the society directly or indirectly and are greatly influenced by society, so they are more likely to have such views.
Another noteworthy phenomenon is that with the growth of grade, the proportion of boys choosing "appearance", "personality" and "consistent interests" gradually increases, while "chastity" is somewhat underestimated. With the growth of experience, college students are more and more practical and closer to people's views in society. Especially the junior boys facing employment problems, they especially hope that the other party can understand themselves, forgive themselves and help them relieve their pressure. At the same time, with the rich love experience and the influence of the surrounding environment, they gradually recognized the phenomenon of premarital sex and college students living together.
Actively guide the advantages and avoid disadvantages.
Only when college students have a correct view of marriage and love can their future marriage life be happy. Generally speaking, college students' views on marriage are correct, but influenced by some bad ideas, some college students still need correct guidance on their views on marriage and love. Therefore, we should correctly treat and actively guide the phenomenon of college students' love.
Strengthen the education of outlook on life, love and morality.
There is a general contradiction among college students. On the one hand, they need love, on the other hand, they don't fully understand love, and they behave casually when dealing with love issues. Therefore, it is very necessary to educate college students on "Three Views".
The first is to educate people about life. The university period is a crucial period for the formation of outlook on life. Because students' personal personality is not stereotyped, and they lack direct social practical experience, they have no deep understanding of the broad connotation of love, and the success rate of love is not high. They should be educated in a scientific and correct outlook on life, so that they can know the true meaning of life and grasp the correct direction of life. The second is to carry out love education. Guide them to put love in the right position in life, correctly handle the relationship between love and study, love and life, love and marriage, clarify the purpose of love, and correctly handle the relationship between love and being loved, love and lovelorn. The third is to strengthen the moral education of love. Love is one of the most beautiful and sacred feelings of human beings. It aims at living together for life and has the characteristics of specificity, permanence and responsibility. True love is exclusive and exclusive. Once men and women establish a love relationship, they need the innocence of feelings and the seriousness of attitude.
Strengthen the construction of campus culture
Develop colorful cultural life after school.
College students are energetic, active in thinking, active and eager to learn. They like the extracurricular cultural life with rich contents, novel forms and strong interests. Once they feel that life is boring, they will look for opportunities to add excitement to their lives, so some college students join in love families. From the analysis of college students' love motives, it is true that some college students fall in love because they feel empty, lonely and bored.
Therefore, it is necessary to develop a rich, healthy and colorful cultural life after class. Schools should enrich students' after-school life through blackboard newspapers, knowledge contests, speech contests, cultural performances and other cultural and sports activities. In this way, on the one hand, after-school cultural life can make college students keep psychological balance, activate their body and mind, make them join the group in the process of activities, and prevent them from misunderstanding love and love view because of loneliness and boredom; On the other hand, it is conducive to cultivating college students' noble moral sentiments and broad interests, learning more extensive knowledge, expanding the scope of interpersonal communication, broadening their horizons, and effectively avoiding them from falling into an empty and boring mental state or indulging in a small world of personal feelings.
Create a good atmosphere
Schools, families and society form a joint force of education.
In order to make college students correctly grasp the relationship between love and study, love and success, become the pillars of talents, and obtain health and happiness, the close cooperation between schools, families and society is very important.
Schools should take a positive intervention attitude, attach importance to and strengthen the education and guidance of college students' love and marriage. For college students' love, colleges and universities generally adopt the management mode of "not advocating, not opposing, not taking care of employment, and dealing with problems when they arise". Facts have proved that this "after-the-fact management" educational means has not achieved the expected results. Schools should take positive measures. First of all, school administrators should eliminate ideological prejudice, understand and respect the feelings of college students, avoid the single and outdated communication mode of "teacher-student love" and adopt the form of communication between teachers and students, friends and partners. Secondly, schools should adopt various forms of education to form an educational atmosphere. Such as classroom lectures, special lectures, special discussions, psychological counseling and newsstand exhibitions, schools should also establish and improve professional psychological counseling rooms to help college students cope with the confusion in love and marriage.
Family education is essential, and parents have the responsibility to educate and guide their children's love and marriage. Parents are their children's first teachers, and their thoughts and behaviors will greatly affect their children's choices. If parents usually associate love with utilitarian purposes, it is difficult to ensure that children have a correct view of love. On the contrary, if parents instill a healthy concept of love in their children on weekdays, their children's mentality in the process of love will be much more peaceful. Once a child is sad and decadent because of love problems, parents should find out early and actively guide them to get them out of the trough.
Society is a big environment, which affects students all the time. College students are a member of society, and it is impossible to be divorced from society. Young college students with subjective initiative have many contacts with society besides attending classes at school. Movies, TV plays, literary works, etc. In order to pursue interests, it has almost reached the point where there is no book without sex and no drama without love, which will have a negative guiding effect on students. Therefore, we should create a positive public opinion atmosphere, reduce material stimulation, improve spiritual pursuit, hold high the main theme, standardize mainstream culture, and ensure the healthy growth of young college students.