1 1. I pinched a cock's neck, but I didn't dare to cut it. I hesitated for a long time, but I strangled the chicken.
12, I was chatting while eating in the canteen, and suddenly I found myself dropping a grain of rice outside, secretly regretting the waste of food, so I picked it up and ate it. But then I found out that this meal didn't seem to be mine. ...
14, another toilet. My classmate's university is a key university. I haven't been there, but I heard that the facilities are in place, such as electronic reading room and campus card. What's even more ridiculous is that the toilet is still voice-activated flushing.
On one occasion, she was texting while defecating, and when she was about to get up, she accidentally dropped her cell phone and the urinal was very shallow. Actually, it's okay if she picks it up right away. But-when the mobile phone dropped, she was shocked and unconsciously cried, "Ah!" The phone was washed away. ...
15, A: Is my avatar Niu B?
B: Yes.
17, I passed an intersection that day and wanted to fart. There happened to be a man riding a motorcycle, so I wanted to take this opportunity to cover my fart. I don't know. It's too noisy. The motorcyclist thought the motorcycle had started and was about to leave. I was embarrassed that time. ......
19, someone bathed his 3-year-old daughter. Just after putting her daughter in the basin, her daughter shouted, "Mom, look, dad is picking up girls."
One day, the bus was so crowded that it was difficult to get on and off. A gentleman wanted to get off the bus, but a couple from other places got stuck in the car door. The gentleman who wanted to get off the bus squeezed hard and finally squeezed behind the couple, and the driver caught up as soon as he braked. Unfortunately, he stepped on her husband. The husband said nothing, but the wife shouted at the top of her lungs, "What are you doing?" Who knows that the woman is adamant and still shouts "You are crazy, you are crazy, you are crazy" over and over again. A gentleman endured it, endured it, got off the bus, turned to the woman who was still shouting, and suddenly came-"Repeater, you! ! "The whole car burst into laughter. !
Question: Why has pangolin been digging? Answer: he is looking for Sichuan and Shaanxi B.
There is an examination range called "All Books Should Be Tested", an examination focus called "What I said is the key", a multiple-choice question called "It seems right" and a fill-in-the-blank question called "No".
When I was a child, my family was poor and had no money to take the bus, so I took a taxi to school.
Don't speak English in front of me, understand?
Q: You were on the bus, and suddenly people around you looked at you and threw up. What did you do?
A: Sure enough! Most people pass out when they see me.
Q: A man stepped on your foot on the bus and said, "I'm Jay Chou". What's your reaction?
A: Stand back. You can show off later, I stepped on Jay Chou!
Q: There is no car in Yang Guo. Why is the little dragon girl still tired of him?
A: Who said there was no car? He's been carving cards!
Woman: Are you there?
Man: I'm everywhere!
Woman: Oh. ...
Man: Come on, faint in my arms, come on baby!
W: Hehe … What's your name?
Man: I didn't scream, and you didn't flirt with me?
Woman: I asked your name.
M: Oh yeah ~ My compound surname is Nangong, and my name is Friends Circle, or South Friends Circle for short!
Woman: Hehe, my friend ...
Man: Yes, please call me my full name boyfriend, ok?
Woman: Come on, take advantage of me again …
Man: You are not a vegetable in the market. Why should I take advantage of you?
Woman: You. ...
Man: Oh, dry your tears! Actually, that was my stage name just now. My name is Ni, and my name is Lao Gong. What about you?
Woman: Er ... My name is Wei!
Man: So it's you!
Woman: You know me?
Man: Well, I hum you every day!
W: Why?
Man: Wei, do you know how much I love you …
Woman: Hehe, you are so humorous!
Man: Everyone says so!
Woman: You are really not modest.
Man: Wrong! I'm not hypocritical!
Woman: You are so narcissistic!
Man: Wrong! I have confidence!
Woman: I'll take you …
M: I weigh 60 kilos. Can you take it in?
Woman: ... (depressed) How old are you?
M: I can't describe it It's huge!
W: I mean your age?
Man: What's two plus two, four plus forty-six, sixteen plus eight minus four?
Female: Twenty … Male: Correct answer, but unfortunately no prize … What about you?
Woman: Hehe, I'm eighteen.
Man: eighteen is great!
W: Why?
M: They all say 188 1 flower!
W: So what?
Man: I dare choose you. How about you?
Woman: I am a rose with thorns. Aren't you scared?
M: I can't type the word pa.
Woman (changing the subject): Where are you from?
Man: Zhongyuan
. Woman: Er ... Where in the Central Plains?
M: Shame, I live in the four seas and have no fixed place!
Woman: Really?
Man: With your wisdom, can I coax you?
Woman: That's true … but don't you want to have a real home?
M: I don't want to. Just ...
Woman: Just what?
M: It's just that no girl wants to compete with me.
Woman: Go find one!
M: The current social reality is unbearable. True love is hard to find. How simple is it?
Woman: Hey, don't be such a wet blanket, there will be!
M: Will it? I am so lonely, I don't know when I can get rid of it.
Woman: Are you still lonely when I talk to you now?
Man: No, it felt good, but only for a moment …
Woman: Aren't you afraid that you can't type?
Man (suddenly coming over): Yes, I want to pick your rose with thorns.
Woman: I have thorns. Take me home, don't let me wither. Can you do it?
There are two songs I promise you …
W: Which two songs?
M: Wei He Hua Tong.
Woman: Really?
Yes, it is. This heart can be learned from the sun and the moon!
Woman: Well, boyfriend!
Man: Hehe, call me Lao Gong!
Woman: Um ... Husband!
Man: shh … honey, stop it. Someone is watching our conversation.