14-year-old girl tattooed two big flower arms. Who is wrong?
Ms. Lin believes that it is immoral for tattoo shops to tattoo underage children, and the tattoo artist did not verify the age of the customers before tattooing.
After some tossing, the tattoo shop gave two solutions: free cleaning or triple compensation, but Ms. Lin did not agree to the negotiation, but chose to call the police for help and made a complaint to the local market supervision administration.
In the end, Ms. Lin had to go to Shanghai with a light rain and find a professional tattoo shop. Ms. Lin revealed that it takes about two years to wash off all the tattoos on Xiaoyu's arm, and it costs about 30 thousand yuan in total.
Kohane herself has a good tattoo, and she regrets it. She said that she regretted it now and had no courage to go to school.
After the incident was exposed by the media, it triggered a heated discussion among netizens.
Some netizens rightfully accused the tattoo shop:
"Tattoo shops really have to bear the main responsibility, and minors who come to tattoo should be discouraged or even refused directly."
"Children don't understand, tattoo artist still don't understand? Tattooed two big flower arms and earned 300 yuan, which may affect the child's life. Where is the conscience? "
Some netizens also said that girls and parents should also bear certain responsibilities:
"14 years old, the basic behavior and thinking ability has always been there? Did someone force her to get a tattoo? In the final analysis, children are not sensible. "
"Don't cry, even if your daughter 14 is not tattooed, 18 will still be tattooed."
"This mother's desire for control is very strong at first glance. I feel that girls want to get tattoos on impulse in order to resist. "
To tell the truth, as a mother, my mother understands Ms. Lin's feelings very well.
Originally a well-behaved child, suddenly there were two big arms that were an eyesore, and everyone collapsed when they saw it. Not to mention that there may be irregular operations during the tattoo process, which may lead to the risk of infection for children.
From the first impression alone, a girl with two big flower arms tattooed on her face is easily associated with young women who smoke, drink and fight. What's more, many state-owned enterprises and institutions don't allow employees to get tattoos, so it's not hard to imagine why Ms. Lin cried and said that "the children's future is ruined."
Tattoo shops bear the main responsibility, and parents should also reflect.
What is certain is that tattoo shops can't escape the stigma.
Although there are no laws and regulations on tattoo for minors in China at present, tattoo artists should have the minimum consciousness: not to do business for minors.
Minors are not mature physically and psychologically, and may follow the trend or get tattoos out of curiosity. However, any tattoo artist, as long as he has normal thinking ability, knows that tattoos may affect children's physical development and future career choices. Therefore, tattoo artists should drive away all the minors who come to tattoo, instead of making money without conscience.
Of course, Ms. Lin also has some problems with her children's education.
Many mistakes made by adolescent children are often caused by hot heads.
In the interview, Xiaoyu said that she got tattooed because she saw tattoos on other people's bodies, so she also came up with the idea of tattooing, and finally took action without telling her family.
Kohane chose not to tell her family that she had a tattoo, perhaps because she was worried that she would be rejected or even criticized. Or communicate less with parents at ordinary times and are unwilling to share their worries with their parents. It is also possible that the tutor is strict and the pressure from parents is relatively high. I want to rebel against the restraint and management of my parents through tattoos, so as to achieve the purpose of venting.
In Ma's view, the main reason may be the lack of communication between parents and children. In the process of children's growth, parents played down the communication with their children and gradually divorced from their growth. Children lack the guidance of correct values and are easily influenced by bad information from the outside world, especially after entering adolescence, which is very easy to produce wrong behaviors.
How should parents educate adolescent children?
Friends with adolescent children often say "headache" to me.
"The child can't listen to a word I said and can't communicate at all."
"The child is telling me less and less about her heart, and I feel that the mother and daughter are getting more and more unfamiliar."
"My son was found smoking secretly and had a meal. Boy, he ran away from home! "
When entering adolescence, children's physiology and psychology have undergone certain changes, and it is inevitable that rebellious emotions and behavioral problems will occur. As parents, we should not blindly accuse our children of "disobedience" and "ignorance", but put ourselves in their own shoes. Correctly understand adolescent children, adjust their emotions, learn better communication skills, improve the interaction mode, and help children solve problems.
Some psychologists once said: "The real problem is not children, but family relations-poor interaction mode."
First, parents should establish a solid trust relationship with their children, actively identify with and accept their emotions, and encourage them to express their inner thoughts.
Second, we should improve our control and acceptance, tolerate children more, don't bind children with dogma, and don't put on a condescending attitude when children are disobedient.
Third, to be a loving and strict parent, we should have a bottom line on some principles, but we should not convince others by reasoning, but should guide them in an appropriate way.
Fourth, create a good growth environment, grow and develop in an inclusive and diverse family atmosphere, and children will be richer and more secure, which will help children establish a correct self-awareness.
However, then again, in the case of tattoos, considering the growth and development of children, parents really have to adhere to the principle. However, children's growing environment is becoming more and more open and their thoughts are becoming more and more free. Parents should also selectively respect their children's wishes.
Huang Lei's eldest daughter, Huang Duoduo, once got a hot search for her hair pierced. Many netizens in the comment area said that Huang Duoduo was too precocious to get pierced ears and dyed hair at an early age, which was easy to be imitated by his peers and had a bad influence. However, some netizens feel that their parents do not object. What do netizens care about? As long as the school allows!
Indeed, children of this age pay more and more attention to their own image and have certain aesthetic standards. Xiaoya's mother thinks that parents should respect their children's choices, not stop them blindly, as long as they don't go too far in dressing and don't violate the school rules and regulations.