2005-4-8

Unit 10

history as the second of the four divisions of ancient Chinese library collection

Text 1

How to get laughter

Jean perrett has been a joke writer for twenty years, and has flown hundreds of times. So when the flight attendant began to review the safety instructions, he was just absent-minded. Suddenly, perrett pricked up his ears. The flight attendant said that there may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 5 ways to leave this plane. Then he added, "Please restore your seat to the most uncomfortable upright position." . Lat Yule may lean back and break the knees of the passengers behind him.

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Perret put forward a serious point with the story of a flight attendant: humor can attract someone's attention and send a message. Perrett said: "Some people can't save their lives by telling jokes, but everyone can learn to use humor effectively." . The secret is to develop your own style, learn some skills and spend time practicing.

The first step suggested by perrett is to establish a "comedy collection". Write down 25 jokes or stories that you find funny. Then find out whether you are better at telling stories or witticisms. Don't try to be someone you're not. Perrett said that matching people with the wrong materials is like teaching pigs to sing. "This not only wastes your time, but also annoys pigs."

Always pay attention to humor, not before you intend to use it. Joke books are ok, but Perret suggests looking for material from your own experience. He told a story about helping his little daughter prepare to perform poetry at school. When he offered to write a song for her, she said, "No, Dad, it was written in front of the whole school. I'd rather it was good. " Nothing is more comfortable than self-critical humor.

The material should also be suitable for the audience. Perrett said that the more humor is suitable for a specific situation, the more interesting it is. But perrett suggested that people forget the idea that speeches should start and end with jokes. When the ending joke fails, it is almost impossible to recover.

Text 2

You are under arrest!

Fritz Kreisler, a world-famous Austrian-American violinist, once waited for a boat to go to London in Hamburg, Germany, and he will hold a concert there the next night. One hour before sailing, he decided to stop and browse in a music store for a few minutes, which he noticed when he was wandering in the city streets earlier that day. On his comfortable desk, he was hardly recognized except for the violin under his arm.

When he entered the music store, the shopkeeper asked to see his violin. He examined it carefully and then disappeared. A few minutes later, he came back accompanied by two policemen.

"You're under arrest," a policeman told Crisler.

"Was arrested? What are you doing? "

"You have the violin of Fritz Kreisler."

"Of course I would. I am Fritz Kreisler. "

"Are you wearing those shabby clothes, Fritz Kreisler?" The policeman sneered. "You fake! You are no more Fritz Kreisler than I am. You're just a liar who stole Crissler's violin. Come with us to the station. " He began to play the violinist's arm.

Crissler's ship will sail in an hour, so there is no time to dawdle. Violinists must think quickly.

He looked around and saw a record player in the shop. "Do you have any records of Krissler?" He asked the shopkeeper.

Fortunately, there is one at hand. "Same old tune", the man put the recording on the machine.

After the recording, Krissler picked up his violin and played the same tune. "Are you satisfied now?" He asked.

When Crisler rushed out of the shop and walked to his boat, the blushing shopkeeper and two policemen began to apologize.

philosophical works

Busy Monday morning

It's a busy Monday morning. Everyone in our 1 employment agency is busy with the job matching plan. Suddenly, the computer in our office broke down. We can't run this project, we know that this project is very important to consultants and their clients; As the "downtime" time changed from a few minutes to half an hour and then to an hour, we were all depressed.

"Look," one of my colleagues shouted, pointing to the screen. 6) A sentence entered by an angry counselor appeared on the terminal screen. It says, "May 1000 camel fleas spread all over your circuit box!" " Before the laughter in the office died down, the computer flashed and began to work again.

We were all surprised. The power of the Middle East seems to go far beyond oil fields.

Part d

Blondes and lawyers

A blonde and a lawyer sat next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to new york. The lawyer asked her if she would like to play an interesting game with him.

The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap. She politely refused, then rolled over to the window and took a few naps. The lawyer insisted and explained that the game was easy and interesting. He explained: "I' 1 1 ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa. "She refused again and tried to sleep for a while. The lawyer is now anxious and nervous. He said, "Well, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." "

This caught the blonde's attention, because she thought that the torture would not end unless she played, so she agreed to the game.

The lawyer asked the first question. "What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" Without saying a word, the blonde reached into her purse, took out a $5 bill and handed it to the lawyer.

"Well," said the lawyer, "it's your turn." She asked the lawyer, "What goes up a mountain with three legs and down a mountain with four legs?"

Confused, the lawyer took out his laptop and searched all his reference materials, but there was no answer. He searched the Internet and the Library of Congress, but there was still no answer. Frustrated, he sent emails to all his friends and colleagues, but to no avail. An hour later, he woke up the blonde and handed her 500 dollars. "Thank you," the blonde said, and then turned to go back to sleep.

A little angry, the lawyer woke her up again and asked, "So, what's the answer?"

Without saying a word, the blonde reached into her purse, handed the lawyer $5 and went back to sleep.