Every child is the darling of his parents, and every adult in the family always wants to do his best to pave a smooth road for his children, without bumps and wrestling. However, more and more parents have realized that the more children who have not experienced setbacks, the worse their resilience when they grow up, and meticulous care from childhood may become a hidden danger in the future. What are the children's reactions to setbacks? Different children have different reactions to setbacks, so it is very important to understand children's various reactions. The same treatment model may not be suitable for every child. Teaching students in accordance with their aptitude is the key. Parents should carefully observe and give appropriate help according to their children's characteristics. Aggressive and competitive, with a strong sense of competition, is particularly persistent about winning or losing. When the result is not satisfactory, it is more difficult than ordinary people to admit your failure and think that the cause of failure is not yourself, but other problems. Shy and timid type In addition to their own shy children, a series of setbacks will make extroverted children timid, avoid challenges, give up without trying, and think that their performance is too poor for anyone to like. A quiet and sensible or older child may be inclined to reflect on himself in the face of setbacks. He knows it's useless to argue, or he is worried that others will think he is not good enough, and he is afraid of causing a burden to others. Pushdown type is somewhat similar to competitive type. When they fail, they like to blame others, so as to get rid of their responsibilities, avoid being blamed, not looking for solutions, and lack positive thinking. B frustration education, do you need a positive side? Chuanchuan's mother: Many parents worry that if their children encounter setbacks, will it affect their self-confidence? However, people's life can't be smooth sailing, and children will inevitably encounter setbacks in the process of growing up. Children need encouragement, but if there is too much encouragement, children will have no motivation. Isn't it that extremes meet? Therefore, I generally don't avoid children's setbacks, but teach children or let them experience how to face life's setbacks. In fact, in the process of growing up, Chuanchuan experienced many setbacks. For example, at the age of 65,438+0, when he started to eat by himself, the spoon never fed his mouth, but we didn't stop him from eating by himself, but let him explore by himself. Although in the early days, he would drop a lot of rice grains on his clothes and on the ground, and sometimes he even threw away the bowl because the spoon was not put in his mouth correctly. But slowly, he can eat by himself, and he can feed the spoon into his mouth well without our help. Children's own experiences may be much more valuable than what we adults teach him by hand, but we should pay attention to protecting children's self-confidence, not too many setbacks, as long as it is appropriate. If there are too many setbacks, children will really become unconfident. Yuan Yuanchang: Receiving frustration education from an early age is one of the ways for children to identify with themselves. It is right for children to be frustrated at the right time. For example, small classes in kindergartens play games, and some children cry when they lose. Our teacher will explain to him that he is not at home and he is not the only child here. Another example is that some children will rob toys. As teachers, they should give "criticism" at an appropriate time, tell him that it is wrong to do so, and guide him slowly in the form of reason. Why does this "criticize" the teacher? At home, parents can't bear to give their children frustration education. But in kindergarten, children live in groups, which involves fair competition, and teachers will unconsciously give children appropriate frustration education. Let children accept the concept of winning or losing. You don't need the opposing side. Uncle Li (grandson is 3 years old): We only have one grandson, who has been with us until now, and we are still reluctant to go to kindergarten. We think he may be unhappy in kindergarten, so he will be spoiled when he gets home. The most important thing is that I don't want him to cry. When he cries, grandma is particularly nervous and distressed, so everyone will indulge him when playing at home. Once, my grandson came back crying and said that he lost in playing games in kindergarten, but actually let him win once. We feel that children are still young, and it is not too late to be depressed after primary school. Ms. Liu (4-year-old daughter): My husband and I have to travel frequently for work, and we have little time to spend with our children. Basically, my grandparents help me. So at home, we usually spend most of our time with our children, and it is up to her to decide what she wants to play and buy, which can be said to be a compensation for our frequent absence. There is only one child, and parents want to give her the best. My daughter took part in the kindergarten competition and came back saying that she could not get the first prize and the prize she wanted. She cried and asked us to buy her toys, so we bought them later. We don't think it is bad for children to receive frustration education, but it is not necessary to be so early. After all, the child is too young, it's no big deal. Let's accommodate them. C frustration education is conducted by age group. Parents aged 0-/kloc-0 develop a sense of responsibility. Unconditional protection of children will make them feel that they are the first in the family, which is very unfavorable for their future ability to resist setbacks. Let children feel that they are equal to other family members and gradually cultivate a sense of family responsibility. 1-3 years old, cultivate self-care ability. When the child can stand and walk, don't always hold or help him step. The development of action is also the continuous development and perfection of psychology. When the child is older, let him try to take care of his own life, cultivate his self-confidence and move towards his future life and communication. Cultivate psychological independence at the age of 3-5. Usually, we always take the initiative to help our children do something. However, there are some things that children need to do independently. If too much help is given at this time, children will become dependent. As long as a child is interested in something, he should be encouraged to do it independently. 5-6 years old to cultivate the ability to solve problems. After a child enters the classroom, in addition to his daily study, it is more important to cultivate his curiosity and his ability to think and solve problems independently. D correctly guiding children to meet and challenge setbacks and creating frustration situations is a method of frustration education, but repeated setbacks will make children lose self-confidence. Therefore, it is very important to correctly guide children how to face setbacks and cultivate their resilience and self-confidence after setbacks. The purpose of frustration education is to remain calm and optimistic in the face of setbacks. Prepare an article, when the child is having the most fun, or in daily life, without the child's knowledge, eat some bitterness appropriately. Hard education should not be excessive, but children should be able to bear it. For parents, on the one hand, they can't show their love and unhappiness, on the other hand, they can't regret their actions. Willing to make children suffer. Learn to wait from the child's seven or eight months, you need to let the child learn to "wait" when there is a requirement, such as drinking milk until it is cold; Peel the sugar patiently when you eat it. Learning to wait is a great skill to cope with adversity. To train your baby's endurance, learn to exercise restraint while waiting. Don't meet the requirements easily. Don't feel distressed and easily meet your child's requirements just because your child has been wronged and cried. Let the children understand that if you want something, you have to pay for it yourself. Only what you get through your own efforts is the best and the most valuable. Optimism is the most important thing to face setbacks. It should be a state of pain and happiness, so that children can challenge setbacks with an optimistic attitude instead of looking at problems negatively. When children can't face setbacks, parents should look after their children in emotional contagion. Cultivate children's positive and optimistic personality and stimulate their optimistic nature with love. When children are depressed because of failure, parents should not say "I think you are the best". Children will think that they have been treated unfairly and blame the failure on the referee or others. At this time, we should actively guide the child to face up to the failure and tell him to "find the reason for the failure and continue to work hard, maybe he will succeed next time." Teach children to treat failure correctly. Appreciate the winner. Don't belittle other children to comfort them. You should work with your children to analyze the reasons why the other side won and teach them to appreciate each other from the heart. In this way, when children grow up, they can face the competition calmly and appreciate their opponents, which is also the embodiment of perfect personality and personal charm. If you encounter setbacks, you should improve yourself, analyze your own advantages and disadvantages according to your child's situation, and let your child know how to improve himself in the future. While cultivating children's sense of competition, improve their ability in competition and strengthen their psychological endurance. Encouragement and trust for the next victory is what children need most from their parents after setbacks. Even if children fail in the competition, their efforts will be appreciated by adults. Let the children sincerely be willing to accept the next challenge and strive for the next victory. E It is unrealistic to arrange parents to pave a smooth road for their children. Don't try your best to coax a child or help him solve his difficulties when he is wronged. Instead, give him a chance to exercise and constantly improve his ability. Don't help children summarize their failures. Crying because the child lost the game is a natural vent and a performance of demanding progress. Parents can't say "it doesn't matter if they lose", otherwise it will help him analyze the reasons for his failure and realize his own shortcomings. It is inevitable to laugh at children's inexperience and setbacks. Adults should not laugh at their children or blame them for their mistakes. Instead, we should pay more attention to cultivating children's qualities of winning without arrogance and losing with grace, and set an example for them to overcome difficulties. Don't expect too much of your child's ability, just say "You must be the first" and "I like you to get a hundred points". Don't let him feel that only the first place will make his parents like him. If you can't do it, you won't like him, which will make him unwilling to face setbacks and failures. The frustration education of needle tip to wheat awn is not needle tip to wheat awn, so we must pay attention to moderation and moderation. Excessive frustration will damage children's self-confidence and enthusiasm, make them have serious frustration and fear, and eventually lose interest and confidence. Deprive children of the opportunity to try. Don't let him try, because he is afraid of failure. Childhood failure can make the baby understand that failure is not a big deal, otherwise when he grows up, small setbacks may turn into big stones, making the baby not believe that he has the ability to move away. (Liang Yu) Foreign frustration education Japan: Let children "eat" snacks. In Japan, some families adopt the means of "frustration education" to cultivate children's ability to bear hardships from an early age. Every winter, they let the children grope naked in the snow. It's freezing, and the north wind is howling. Many children turned purple with cold and trembled all over, while their parents stood aside and ignored them. Japan also advocates "the wind of studying in poor countries (Weibo)", which allows students from rich big cities to receive hard life training in remote mountainous areas and villages, with the aim of cultivating children's hard-working spirit and perseverance. Switzerland: Pay attention to cultivating children's self-reliance Although Switzerland is one of the richest countries in the world, Swiss parents will never let their children be spoiled. They attach great importance to cultivating children's self-reliance ability. After graduating from junior high school, a 15-year-old girl will work part-time in someone else's house for one year, working in the morning and going to school in the afternoon; Boys should also take part in labor at a certain age to exercise their ability to work and survive independently, so as not to become incompetent when they grow up. America: Understanding the Value of Labor. In order to cultivate students' ability to adapt to social survival, some state middle schools in the southern United States stipulate that students must make a living independently for a week without any money before graduation. The slogan of American middle school students is: "spend money and earn it yourself!" " "No matter how rich the family is, children 12 years old usually have to do housework at home, such as mowing the grass and delivering newspapers. Of course, parents should also pay their children "labor remuneration" accordingly, reflecting the reward according to work. American parents often say that as long as it is conducive to cultivating children's earning ability, it is worthwhile for them to suffer more. Jennifer, 14, works in the restaurant every Saturday. Although she can choose to help her mother at home, she can still get paid. However, Jennifer feels that earning money from her mother at home is not a skill. She must go outside to make money to show that she is capable of taking care of herself. Germany: Let children learn what they should do. German parents never do anything for their children. They regard children as independent individuals and give them enough space to learn what they should do as independent people. Simply put, at the age of one, parents will encourage them to drink milk from their own bottles. After drinking, parents will thank and praise their children. With the growth of children's age and ability, parents will guide their children to accomplish some more difficult things. In this way, when they enter the society, they will not become "waste" in the eyes of others. Not only parents pay attention to cultivating children's sense of responsibility and self-confidence, but also the law requires it. According to German law, when children reach the age of 14, they must undertake some obligations at home, such as shoeshine for the whole family. Germans often say that their primary responsibility is to let their children know that a person will ultimately rely on himself, stand on his own feet and be responsible for himself when he goes to society. Russia: Pay attention to cultivating children's sense of independence. Walking in the streets and squares of Russia, whether in Moscow, St. Petersburg or Vladivostok, it is rare to see adults holding children or carrying them. On the street and under the steps, we often see some two-year-old or three-year-old dolls stumbling and even crying. But their parents didn't even pull, just stopped to encourage them to get up and move on. The children played together, and you chased after me. In the fight, you broke your skin and shed blood, which made you cry. When parents see it, they often just look at the wound, gently rub it, and then let them stand up and continue to play, as if wrestling and breaking the skin are trivial. Parents generally don't interfere with what children want to do, and let them do it themselves.