The key to solving the "generation gap" lies in parents.

First of all, we should get out of the educational misunderstanding of modern families. Some parents are particularly demanding of their children, and punish them if they are not satisfied, which leads to their grumpy and annoying; Some parents indulge their children, and their children's behavior in the family is unruly. Such children are willful and especially dependent on others; Other parents spoil their children too much. These children are strong in appearance and weak in heart. Due to improper educational methods, parents find their children difficult to control and communicate. The correct way of education should be to be democratic parents and respect children, so as to build a bridge of mutual communication.

Parents should keep up with the times through study.

The conflict between parents and children is only the superficial phenomenon of the "generation gap", but in fact it is the conflict of values between parents and children. A female college student fell in love with a house repairer, and her parents resolutely opposed it. The reason why parents object is that this kind of love does not conform to the traditional social values, while the daughter thinks that "love needs no reason", which is a modern love value. The collision between the two values cannot be solved simply by talking and communicating. Values change with the development of society, and children have established new values in the changing society. If parents communicate with their children with old values, the children will not listen. The only way is for parents to keep learning and keep up with social development.

With the development of society, educational methods are also developing. In the past, the way of cultural transmission was mainly the example culture of parents, and children's values mainly came from parents' words and deeds. Cultural communication in modern society is "peer model culture", and children's values mainly come from peers. The way of cultural communication in the future is "children's role model culture". Parents should learn from their children, and the whole society will enter an era of learning.

Let children find happiness.

Parents must first have the ability to communicate with their children. For example, if you like children, you should always be close to them; Solve difficulties with children; Consider children's feelings and be good at emotional communication with children; Design goals according to children's abilities, so that children can experience the happiness of success; There are some codes of conduct in the family that children need to abide by.

In addition, parents should also understand their children. In modern society, children are under great pressure, including the pressure of learning, the pressure of development, the pressure of conflict with their parents and the confusion of communicating with their classmates. Now the whole society is anxious about success, and the standard of success is very single. For children, good test scores and going to a good university have become the only criteria for success. In fact, a person's success standard is not unique. A person's greatest satisfaction is spiritual satisfaction. One-sided emphasis on getting into a good university makes children feel no pleasure in learning and can't find happiness. Social values are chaotic in the transitional period, so it is difficult for children to choose their own values. Parents need to know their children before they can communicate well.

As parents, we should tolerate our children. When communicating with children, don't be nervous about their anxiety, dissatisfaction and different ideas, but be good at accepting them. There are many positive meanings behind children's behavior, but parents don't find them. For example, children like to watch a Chinese odyssey. What is the reason? Because in the classic The Journey to the West, Tang Priest is an incompetent, preaching-loving and timid person, and children don't like him. "A Chinese Odyssey" challenges the authority of the Tang Priest, and the dialogue between the characters jumps, which makes the children excited. From the traditional point of view, this is a blasphemy against the classics, but on the other hand, the creativity of teenagers is mostly realized after breaking the authority. In this sense, A Chinese Odyssey is not without its merits.

Family education should tell the truth.

One plays a good COP, and the other plays a bad COP. This method is not advisable.

When children can't tell right from wrong in their parents' discipline, the father says one thing and the mother says another. Children feel that their parents' education may be duplicity, and their parents' attitude towards discipline is the same, so children will not doubt their parents' education. In addition, many children often complain that they can't do what their parents ask their children to do. There is also a principle of parent-child communication-when parents communicate with their children, they must tell the truth, otherwise the communication will be invalid.

Don't put pressure on senior three children intentionally or unintentionally.

Rules should be made for preschool children.

Parents must unify the rules and seek the opinions of their children after the rules are formulated. What did they agree to? Against what? Any objections? The initial rules can be simpler and easier for children to accept. For example: pack your own things, sleep at night, and eat several ice creams a day. Parents can make some reward promises: what benefits children will get if they persist for one week and what rewards they will get if they persist for two months. If implemented, children will gradually find it interesting to reach an agreement with adults, and the rules will naturally evolve into good habits.

To make children obedient, parents need to pay attention to: 1, listen actively, don't give orders, don't warn, and don't lie. 2. In communication with children, say more "I" and less "you". Don't blame the child, but describe your feelings and hopes for the child. 3. Understand the children's thinking rules and thinking rules. 4. Be responsible for what children say, and don't use promises and threats that can't be realized. The clearer the text, the better. 6. There should be fixed conversation time between two generations and relaxation time at home.

Looking for growth partners for adolescent children

Find a college student who is a relative or friend of a 14-or 15-year-old child in adolescence as his growth partner.

The role of growth partners is not to watch children learn, but to let adolescent children participate in college students' learning and social activities. For example, on the rest day, college students can take junior high school students to campus and dormitory activities, or participate in college students' debate competitions. Junior high school students will learn to grow in the mutual communication of college students. Adolescent children should often communicate with others the happiness and pain of growing up.