1929, 49-year-old Lu Xun arrived late. Because the child was born in Shanghai, Lu Xun named him Zhou Haiying, which means a baby born in Shanghai. He is the only son of Lu Xun. Under normal circumstances, if a person has a child in middle age, he will generally be very fond of it. But Lu Xun is different-although he dotes on children, he doesn't dote on them. His education in Zhou Haiying completely followed the theme of his article How to Be a Father written ten years ago. Under the education of Lu Xun, Zhou Haiying later became a broadcasting expert in New China, and worked in the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television for a long time, until he was promoted to a deputy ministerial cadre of the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television.
So, how did Lu Xun educate Zhou Haiying? What lessons can we learn from Lu Xun's parenting experience?
Lu Xun wrote a particularly famous poem called Self-mockery. There are two famous sentences in this poem: "Look at a thousand fingers coldly and bow your head as a willing ox." These two poems mean that those who have lost their conscience and are accused by thousands of people are willing to be "willing cows" for the people. However, "bowing your head to be a scalper" actually has another meaning.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Qi Jinggong, the monarch of the State of Qi, liked his children very much and often stayed with them. Once, his youngest son, Yan Ruzi, wanted to ride on a cow, but Yan Ruzi was still too young. How can Qi Jinggong trust him to ride an ox? So he squatted on the ground with a rope in his mouth, let his son climb on himself, dragged the rope and rode the cow himself. Unexpectedly, my son accidentally fell down and pulled out Qi Jinggong's tooth. Later, "a willing ox" became an allusion to show parents' love for their children. Lu Xun sublimated the concept of "a willing ox" in this poem, but in fact, when he was educating his children, he was also in the spirit of "a willing ox".
Think about it. Qi Jinggong thinks he is a cow when he is teasing his children. What does this mean? This shows that Qi Jinggong regards himself as a tool, not a master, when educating children. The real master is the son who holds the rope. As we said just now, Lu Xun believes that the way to transform families is for parents to learn to look to the future and "liberate their children". The core and emphasis of education are on children. Therefore, we can use four words to summarize Lu Xun's educational philosophy-"people-oriented". Still "child-oriented", parents just play the role of "tools".
Lu Xun's concrete practice includes three parts:
First of all, when educating children, we should take preserving their authenticity as the first priority and let them develop naturally. Parents should not artificially change the authenticity of their children.
The so-called "authenticity" refers to the nature of children, including hobbies, behavior habits, lifestyles and so on. So, how did Lu Xun keep Zhou Haiying's "authenticity"?
1936, Lu Xun died, and Zhou Haiying was only 8 years old this year. Although Lu Xun and Zhou Haiying spent a short time together, only a few short years, Lu Xun shaped Zhou Haiying's character all his life.
Zhou Haiying likes a toy called iron machine since he was a child. This is an educational toy invented by the British.
Assembling cars or cranes with various metal parts is a bit like Lego bricks today. Traditional parents in China,
Intellectuals, in particular, generally believe that "everything is inferior, only reading is high", which makes children concentrate on reading and writing since childhood, but Lu Xun is very supportive of Zhou Haiying's hobby of tinkering with small machines.
Later, when Zhou Haiying grew up, he even applied for Nanyang Radio Night School with the lucky money he had accumulated for several years. So you see, Zhou Haiying actually became attached to radio when he was very young. I have to say that I benefited from my father's influence.
After that, Zhou Haiying was admitted to the Physics Department of Peking University. When studying at Peking University, when students are bored, they all like to get together to play bridge and dance ballroom dancing. Zhou Haiying, out of curiosity, occasionally goes to watch. Because Zhou Haiying's father, Lu Xun, was so famous, some people pointed to his back and said sarcastic words, such as "Lu Xun's son didn't study hard, but only knew how to play cards and dance". It was even published in the newspaper afterwards.
At this time, Lu Xun has been dead for many years. If he were still alive, he would certainly support his son. Because Mr. Lu Xun once said: "Try not to give him a blow, and don't want to go against his love, unless it is to some extent, it is extremely intolerable and unreasonable."
In addition to respecting children's "authenticity", Lu Xun also attached great importance to the cultivation of children's viability.
Mr. Lu Xun once said that educating children should "cultivate their hard-working physical strength, pure and noble morality and broad and free spirit to adapt to the new trend."
This sentence contains three key points, namely, cultivating children's working ability, noble morality and tolerance for new things.
In cultivating children's working ability, Lu Xun gave Zhou Haiying a lot of advice, the most important of which was that he emphasized in his last words that "when children grow up, if they don't have talent, they can find some trivial things to live, and never be short writers or artists". He did not encourage children to lie on their parents' credit accounts and do nothing all their lives.
Therefore, Zhou Haiying likes radio since he was a child. Lu Xun not only did not oppose it, but also supported it. After Lu Xun's death, his wife Xu Guangping has been following Lu Xun's parenting style and teaching Zhou Haiying to find her own career.
In terms of morality, Lu Xun often warned Zhou Haiying not to pretend to be "Lu Xun's son" outside, but to be humble and indifferent. You should know that Lu Xun was famous all over the country at that time. Whether it is the Kuomintang government, warlords all over the country, or celebrities from all walks of life, they are respectful to Lu Xun. As long as Zhou Haiying is titled "the son of Lu Xun", he can eat everywhere. However, under the strict guidance of Lu Xun and Xu Guangping, Zhou Haiying has never been so ostentatious. Therefore, although Zhou Haiying is the son of a celebrity, he had many playmates when he was a child. Everyone is happy to make friends with him, because he can have a happy childhood without knowing his true identity.
In his later years, Zhou Haiying said that he didn't think much about fame and fortune, but just wanted to be a real ordinary person. Lu Xun taught him this indifferent moral standard and attitude towards life.
In addition, Zhou Haiying was deeply influenced by his father in his tolerant spirit of new things. For example, at the age of 10, Zhou Haiying became fascinated with cameras. In the 1930s and 1940s, as a new thing, the camera was a very rare thing, and most people were a little discouraged from this "high-tech" product. However, although Zhou Haiying was only 10 years old at that time, he quickly accepted this new thing. Zhou Haiying has a soft spot for cameras all his life. In the next 70 years, he took more than 20,000 photos. Nowadays, quite a few of these photos have become historical materials with important historical value.
Lu Xun once said that he hoped his son would become "a person who dares to say, laugh, scold and fight". This sentence also reveals Lu Xun's "people-oriented" concept of parenting.
Then, what are the lessons of Lu Xun's "people-oriented" concept of parenting that we can learn from? What can you reflect on?
First of all, to be "people-oriented", we must focus on the children's future, not ourselves.
I don't know if you have found out that nowadays parents often educate their children under the guise of "thinking for their children", in fact, they let their children develop according to their own wishes and even serve themselves.
Many parents send their little boy to study math. In the eyes of their parents, learning mathematics is good and they can become mathematicians in the future. Is it not good to have a skill? But actually, do you think that as a boy, he really likes boring math? It doesn't matter if he likes it himself, but it is a kind of pain for him not to like it. Some parents, as long as their children are a little playful, will say, "Why are you so unfilial? We try our best to provide you with education. How can you treat us like this? " This practice is a great oppression to children.
Therefore, when educating children, the focus and focus must be on children and give them more free space, instead of teaching children "you have to do this, otherwise how can you be worthy of me"; "You should do that, or I will be unhappy"; What must you do? I was thinking about you.
"People-oriented, liberating children" means really thinking about children's own future, rather than always trying to make them what you want.
Secondly, when educating children, we should take "ensuring their authenticity and natural development" as the basic principle and try not to interfere with their nature.
Every child is unique and has its own unique reason. For example, Zhou Haiying likes to fiddle with wires or shoot around with a camera since he was a child. This is his interest and hobby, and it is also his true nature. Lu Xun did not interfere with Zhou Haiying's personal hobbies, but gave him great support. It was these two childhood interests that one became his career. One became the hobby of his life.
Imagine, if you are a successful businessman or state official, will you deliberately let your children develop along your development track from an early age? So in life, many parents are trying to interfere with their children's choices.
Someone once posted on the Internet that he hated his mother the most. It turns out that since high school, his favorite is law, hoping to become an excellent lawyer one day. However, after the college entrance examination notice came out, he was very confused, because he could have been admitted to a law major of 985 University, but he was admitted to an accounting major of the last university.
What's going on here? It turned out that his wish was secretly modified by his mother. In my mother's opinion, being an accountant in the future will have a stable job and a good income, which is much more reliable than being a lawyer. When he was a sophomore, he was going to change his major, but his mother threatened to commit suicide and refused to change his major. In this way, with the intervention of his mother, he completely lost his interest in learning and gradually neglected his studies.
Similar things happen every day around us. For example, children like painting, and parents insist that their children learn martial arts; Children like to study, but parents forbid their children to study on the grounds of delaying their studies ... but in Lu Xun's view, they should try their best to let nature take its course and let their children develop freely.
Of course, when it comes to this, you may say: Is this too indulgent for children? What should children do if they are playful and addicted to games? In other words, what about children's ideological and moral corruption? What about fighting, stealing and taking drugs? Can't we interfere? What should I do if my child is rigid and dull?
Don't worry, according to Mr. Lu Xun's parenting experience, we can also learn the third lesson: to cultivate children's working ability, working spirit and noble morality, as well as tolerance for new things. He regards this as an auxiliary means to defend the child's authenticity and nature.
When children have a certain working ability and spirit, they will not be discouraged from playing with things. In Japan, mothers will take their children to clean up their rooms when they are very young and learn how to store them. Under the influence of their mothers, most Japanese children are keen to tidy up their bedrooms and put their belongings in order. This is actually a kind of working ability and spirit. With these two elements, children will find that besides games and other recreational activities, work is also meaningful.
Similarly, when children have noble morality, they will not make some serious mistakes in life, such as fighting, stealing and taking drugs. Therefore, you can set an example, for example, help strangers more, respect the elderly more, be modest and civilized in life, set a good example for children, and teach them to master "pure and noble morality". Children with high moral character are not easy to go astray.
Finally, when children master the spirit of tolerance for new things, they will constantly update their concepts, keep pace with the times and accept more new things. Therefore, what you have to do is to take your children to learn new knowledge, get in touch with new theories, new things and new things, and teach them to learn tolerance and acceptance, so as to grasp the trend of the times, make more achievements in their posts and explore more possibilities.
We can get three experiences from Lu Xun's "people-oriented" educational method: first, if we want to be "people-oriented", we must focus on the children's future, not ourselves; The second point is that when educating children, we should take ensuring the authenticity and natural development of children as the basic principle and try not to interfere with their nature; The third point is to cultivate children's working ability and spirit, noble morality, and tolerance for new things as an auxiliary means to protect children's authenticity and nature.
Mr. Lu Xun once said: "If you don't treat him as a human being when you are young, you will not be a human being when you grow up."
To educate children, we should still be "people-oriented", treat children as individuals, take children as the center, liberate children instead of being selfish, and pay attention to their own needs and wishes.
(1) Children's Chinese Studies Course
1, culture class:
A classic "Disciple's Rule" ¨D¨D Intensive reading and precise solution, applying what y