Interpreting Children's Personality —— Parents' Positive Psychology

Peng Kaiping? Yan Zhu Wei

Chapter 6: Natural Advantages-Stimulating Children's Intrinsic Potential

First, why do we always exaggerate "deficiency"

1. Negative prejudice

People tend to notice, learn and extract negative information, which is called negative prejudice. Although negative prejudice helps to avoid life-threatening stimuli, its existence may make people pay more attention to shortcomings and hinder the attention and development of their own and others' advantages to some extent.

2. It is easier to grow by focusing on advantages.

Parents' modest education will make children habitually pay too much attention to their own shortcomings and deficiencies. Shortcomings may become psychological barriers for children. At the same time, parents tell their children to keep a low profile and not be too conspicuous, which will make them hide their advantages. Covering up the advantages will reduce children's sense of accomplishment and gain. When shortcomings and advantages are combined, children's sense of existence will be reduced, and over time, children will forget their own advantages. In this way, they will become less and less confident, afraid to compare with others, and even fall into the predicament of failure for fear of giving full play to their own advantages.

The times have changed fundamentally, and it is very important for a person to show his own advantages and goodwill. We will find that because of our own advantages, we can get the recognition and attention of people around us, and at the same time, because of some advantages we have, we can get more opportunities for growth, progress and development. We need to better package our advantages and know how to use our advantages to win resources instead of sticking to our weaknesses.

Second, open the advantage effect of children.

1. dominance effect.

Every child has his own natural advantages, and the key is whether parents can find out. Only by discovering children's natural advantages and helping them to play to the extreme can children be more likely to succeed in what they are good at. This is the advantage effect.

2. 24 advantages that everyone can have.

Scientists summarized and analyzed six virtues generally recognized by human society, and then selected 24 advantages related to these six virtues. These 24 advantages not only appear in adults, but also in children. These advantages require our parents to discover and guide their children to take advantage of their natural advantages.

3. Make good use of our three advantages.

In fact, it is the innate ability and demand of human beings to find and play their own advantages, which is caused by the inherent impulse of the meaning of life.

People have at least three advantages, which are worth using:

1) physical advantage.

Refers to our physical resources, such as good looks and good health.

2) intellectual advantage.

Refers to a person's wisdom, that is, we can rely on our own intelligence to help others solve problems or plan various things.

3) character strengths.

That is, what we usually call excellent qualities such as morality, courage, kindness and generosity, which is also a kind of character strengths that can benefit others.

Third, discover the child's talent and guide the growth of advantages.

1. Treat disadvantages correctly.

1) Everyone has his own natural advantages and everyone has his own disadvantages.

2) Having shortcomings and deficiencies does not mean that you are useless. It means that you are a normal person.

3) Don't care too much about your own disadvantages. It makes more sense to overcome them slowly with your advantages.

2. Use the dominance effect to turn dislike into liking.

Parents should learn to use the advantage effect, give full play to their children's advantages, and turn what they didn't like to do into something they like to do and worth doing.

For example, children don't like to wear seat belts in cars. Parents can take advantage of their children's love of leadership to let them supervise whether adults wear seat belts, and only when he checks that everyone sitting in the car is wearing seat belts will he be given the right to announce the departure of the car.

Fourth, cultivate more advantages with the "reinforcement rule".

1. Strengthen the rules.

We should not try our best to make up for the shortcomings, but try our best to give full play to our advantages. Make up for your disadvantages and deficiencies by giving full play to your advantages.

2. How to cultivate children's advantages and further develop their advantages?

1) Guide children to tell the story of "the best of me".

By telling stories about how we deal with people, we can show our moral superiority.

The specific operation is as follows:

Find a fixed time when all family members sit together and share their advantages with each other. First of all, parents take the lead. Parents tell their children what the symbolic advantages of each family member are and what stories and behaviors they show.

Next, the child introduces what is the iconic advantage of each family member in his mind, and what story or specific behavior he draws this conclusion based on.

Next, encourage children to tell their own advantage stories. After the children finish speaking, our parents can supplement and guide them appropriately, so that the children can feel the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction brought by giving play to their advantages in a positive and pleasant atmosphere. This can help children build self-confidence and increase their sense of superiority. At the same time, it is also an effective strategy to promote children to better express themselves and adapt to society in the future.

2. Change the scene to help children expand their advantages.

The application of advantages is not limited to specific fields. But has a migratable radiation effect. After we help children find their core strengths, we must constantly expand them into new fields and find new ways to use them. By constantly changing the scene, help children expand their advantages to different fields, thus strengthening their natural advantages.

I learned that:

1, everyone has advantages and disadvantages. Don't just pay attention to children's shortcomings, but also pay attention to their advantages and strengths. Guide the growth of superiority.

In the past, we all emphasized learning from each other. But now, we should give full play to the advantages and avoid weaknesses. Give full play to your advantages to make up for your disadvantages.

3, there are many advantages, besides good academic performance, interest, characteristics, personality and so on are all advantages. Parents should try their best to discover their children's advantages, give them encouragement and affirmation in time, and guide them to play their own advantages.