My father always fell behind me when I was a child. "How old are you to watch cartoons?"
"I will always love watching cartoons!" (Hum)
At that time, I didn't know if I was competing with him and planted this seed. I still love cartoons, and even think cartoons are for adults! Adults who gradually lose their innocence should be educated and baptized by comics! )
After Soul, Pixar made an animated film The Change of Youth, which explored the reputation of the leaderboard in inner growth.
"Everyone has a potential beast in his heart, hiding a sloppy, noisy and weird self, but many people never let it be exposed."
How lovely and profound this movie is. Go and have a look. This article is not dramatic. Briefly talk about some feelings about being born in a family, growing up rebellious and self-awakening.
First of all, I have to mention that I came from a family. In recent years, all kinds of people have been talking about it. As a girl from a traditional ordinary family, she was instilled with the idea that "girls should be like girls" from an early age.
What should a girl look like?
China's female education after entering the class society is a traditional family education model. Born in the 1980s, it is common for parents to have seven or eight brothers and sisters each. Following the requirements of traditional society for women, it is limited to gentle delivery and sewing. Women's education is only a means to serve the family, and it is only to cultivate a good wife and mother who can manage the family well and be humble and obedient. So when I was in primary school, I also experienced the custom of family dinner. At that time, women were very busy, but in the end they were not allowed to eat at the table.
As for my mother, she is the one who has truly lived out "unconditional love" in my heart, not only for me and my father, but also for my family, neighbors and even strangers.
Although I grew up in an era when men are superior to women, my mother never complained in front of me. My father has a bad temper, but she never talks back. She is always cheerful and silly. Of course, when I was very young, I once woke up from my sleep and saw her sitting by the bed stroking my head and secretly wiping my tears. At that time, I was not sensible. I closed my eyes and pretended that nothing had happened. In the face of unknown fears, perhaps the gene continues. "
She is a good mother, a good wife, a good daughter-in-law, a good sister and a 100% good woman. I can't find out what's wrong with her (perfect illusion). Her greatest trait is that she is ready to help others, takes other people's affairs as her own, is merciless and conscientious, so she has also gained great blessings, and her life is full, positive and healthy. I think it's the joy of giving. Her happiness is very simple, and she feels happy when others are good.
In order to balance this family, maybe God arranged the roles of my father and me. My father is grumpy and stingy, and the two most words he says to our mother and daughter are "nothing to go home and tidy up the house" and "don't always think about going out to play". My mother can stand it, but I can't. Everything must be opposed. On the surface, she is rebellious.
From a woman's point of view, I really can't understand how my mother chose such a man to live with. Influenced by the family environment, I yearn for and respect my mother's tenderness and virtue, but in my bones, like my father, I can't tolerate anyone's slight to me. Under this kind of competition, growth is destined to be a beautiful journey.
Unwilling to live under oppression and bondage, my mind and soul are restless, and the inner beast is ready to move. If you don't agree with a word, you will go on the rampage, but you won't be willing to be like him, so you will imprison the inner beast and pretend to please, so you will form a huge competition in your heart and unconsciously fall into the confusion of adolescence. It is precisely because of rebellion that you chose the road full of thorns, and you will suffer from hard labor and hit a wall repeatedly.
At that time, consciousness had not been illuminated, and something was constantly radiating to me from the outside. Only by experiencing this process deeply can the inner consciousness be lit up, that is, the so-called growth, inner growth, that is, the awakening of the soul, that is, the process of shaping consciousness.
After my consciousness was lit up, I realized that whenever I failed, my father always supported me to "be myself". The beast he released is no longer fierce, but a kind of protection. At the same time, my mother always thinks of others, which makes me feel uneasy and indecisive.
In fact, the change of my parents' growth path is caused by my inner awakening. They are still them, but I am no longer me. My original narrow consciousness only saw the strength of my father and the weakness of my mother. I used to think that my father was grumpy and stingy, but now he has become a mirror to see if he is strong enough and loves himself enough. My mother's humility is not weakness, but tolerance and richness. Only when you are brave enough and have strength can you have true compassion and gentleness in your heart.
The two of them sparkled in my eyes.
When I stopped looking at them with opposition and attack, I gradually repaired my relationship with them, but it was actually a long process. On the road of growing up and strengthening consciousness, I have enough insight to see their inner fears and sorrows on the road of individual growth, even the imprint of family ties, and the wheel of history is crushed on everyone; I understand that their inner animality is not without edge, but in front of me, they shoulder the responsibility and mission, in order to teach me to gain fearless power.
In this life, we are destined to be related to some people in our lives. Parents are born and cannot be separated. They have their own experiences in this world, their own ways of doing things, and I have mine. It seems that we are just living things that coexist. Imperfect people live under the same roof and choose to achieve each other together.
Love is not a bondage. What we want to break through is the bondage to ourselves.
May everyone accept and cherish the little monster in their hearts, coexist with it and be unique!
Give full play to the power of transcendence and finally find a way to live in peace with yourself!
Peace and peace. love